Chapter Eight
Annie
I’ve been holed up in my room all day, and even though Mum has been checking on me and bringing me food and drinks, I still feel bad for not seeing Dad.
Knowing he’s been downstairs in the music room for the last few hours only proves he’s still upset.
On his days off, he usually spends his time with Mum, or with Ella and me.
He only disappears into the music room for hours when something’s bothering him.
And the slow, somber music still drifting up from downstairs makes me feel worse by the second.
I push myself off the bed and decide to get changed. I’m still wearing the short black lace dress from last night, and honestly, I need to get out of it. I need to get away from the memory of how stupid I was.
My phone vibrates again.
Aston.
He’s still calling, even though I haven’t answered the last twenty-seven times. Not that I’m counting.
I change into gray joggers and a vest, then decide I may as well bite the proverbial bullet and go downstairs to talk to Dad. I head into the hall and toward the stairs. Sassy and Snaggy start barking from the bottom, and I shush them as I make my way down the endless staircase.
Why it feels twice as long today, I don’t know, but I still feel gross, so I take my time.
The music stops.
I pause halfway down, my heart jumping, but then it starts again, and I keep going. At the bottom, I turn toward the music room and follow the sound of Dad’s guitar. I briefly wonder where Mum and Ella are, but everyone knows not to interrupt Dad when he’s in there.
Still, I’m doing it anyway.
I just need to know we’re okay.
I stop outside the doorway, my heart thumping so hard I can feel it in my throat. I don’t know which version of Dad I’m going to get right now—angry, sad, or disappointed—and honestly, none of those options feels better than the others.
I take a deep breath and step around the doorway.
Dad is sitting on a stool, playing my guitar.
The sight makes my chest ache. Usually, when Dad plays, there’s light in him. His whole face changes. But right now, his eyes are shut tight, and there’s something heavy in the way he’s holding himself. I know instantly this is because of me.
“Dad,” I say softly.
He opens his eyes, looks straight at me, and stops playing. “How are you feeling?”
I shrug. “Okay, I suppose. Still a bit tired.”
He stands and turns away, carrying my guitar back to its stand. I hover in the doorway, unsure whether he’s actually ready to see me, but then he walks over to the white couch and sits down, patting the cushion beside him.
A small smile touches my mouth, and I go over to sit next to him. He slips an arm around my shoulders, leans in, and kisses the top of my hair before letting me go.
“I’m glad you’re okay. Annie, if anything had happened to you—”
“I’m fine, Dad.” I look at him properly. “I’m so sorry I scared you. That was never my intention.”
He leans back into the couch and exhales. “I know, sweetheart. But you have to be more responsible. Anything could have happened. You could’ve choked on your own vomit. Some creep could’ve taken advantage of you. You could have died, Annie.”
And just like that, I finally understand.
I knew he was angry because he was worried, but I don’t think I fully understood how terrified he was. He isn’t just mad at what I did. He’s scared of losing me.
“I am sorry, Dad, and I promise I will never do that again.”
“I know you won’t.” He keeps his gaze fixed on the window. “And I’m sorry I yelled at you so much last night.”
“It’s fine. I deserved it.”
He turns to look at me, and something in his expression makes my stomach tighten. “Yeah, you did,” he says bluntly. “But I didn’t have to yell it at you.”
Honestly, I’ll take angry Dad over this version any day.
Angry Dad is easier.
Sad Dad hurts.
“Where’s Caleb? I hope you weren’t too hard on him.”
That finally earns a smile. “No, I wasn’t. He did the right thing. I can see that now. If I’d found out at the party or at the hospital, I would’ve caused a scene, so it was better that he brought you home first. He left early this morning.”
I nod. “So he stayed over?”
“Yeah. I wasn’t about to let him drive back to London at three in the morning. Hux would’ve killed me.”
I laugh quietly because Uncle Hux absolutely would have. He’s as protective of Caleb as Dad is of Ella and me.
Dad shifts beside me. “I think I need to talk to you about drinking.” I groan inwardly already. “You know drinking too much leads to bad decisions, Annie. You’re seventeen now, and hormones are all over the place—”
“Oh my God, Dad. We do not need to talk about that.”
He tilts his head. “Maybe not, but you do need to understand what can happen if you get so wasted you can’t control yourself or the people around you. What if someone had raped you, Annie? What if you’d ended up pregnant? How would you feel then?”
“Dad. Really?”
“Yes, really, Annie.” He exhales and runs a hand through his hair.
“You’re my baby, right? You’re the first child, Dee and I raised together, and that alone means the world to us.
You know what happened to your mum. The accident took away our ability to have biological children together, which was devastating, but strangely, it also led us to you.
” I frown slightly, listening. “It was a terrible time, but if your mum hadn’t been hit by that van and injured so badly, our lives would’ve gone in a completely different direction.
We might never have found you.” His voice softens.
“Don’t you see, Annie? Your mother and I…
we live because of you and Ella. Without you two, our world would’ve fallen apart a long time ago.
” My throat tightens. “You’re part of what keeps this family standing,” he continues.
“And if something happened to you, or to Ella, the rest of us would struggle to stay afloat. We need all four of us. Do you understand what I’m saying? ”
I do.
We work because we’re together. Take one piece away, and everything shifts.
“I know what you mean, Dad. I can’t apologize enough that I scared you.”
He draws me in again, his arm around my shoulders.
“You did scare me. When you said you were at the hospital because you were drunk, it sent me straight back to the worst parts of my own life. I know where that road leads, Annie, and I don’t want it anywhere near you.
That’s why I’m so hard on you and Ella about it all.
I lived that life, and it nearly killed me.
I couldn’t stand it if I let it destroy you, too. Or Ella. Or Caleb. Or Aston. Or Chad.”
At Aston’s name, my chest gives a strange little tug.
“I love all of you,” Dad says. “I’ve watched every one of you grow up.
Our families are tied together forever. I know how close you and Aston are.
Just imagine how he’d feel knowing what happened to you…
knowing what could have happened. Imagine if it were him in your shoes, and he’d ended up in the hospital because he’d drunk too much. Can you see where I’m coming from now?”
I nod, but my thoughts have already drifted.
I wonder if Aston knows.
Mum probably told Anna, and Anna probably told Aston. She’s probably warned him to steer clear of me too.
I don’t blame her.
And after the way I treated him at the party, I deserve it. Slapping him definitely wasn’t my finest moment.
“Are you okay?” Dad’s voice pulls me out of my thoughts.
I look up at him, and suddenly my eyes fill with tears. “I love you, Dad.”
He presses his lips together and tips his head back, staring at the ceiling like he’s trying not to crack.
I hate that I did this to him.
Dad is usually so strong, so stubborn, so impossible to rattle, and seeing this softer side of him makes my chest hurt.
“I love you too, Annie. Just remember that next time you have one of your tantrums and go do something stupid.”
A watery laugh escapes me. “I think I’m done being stupid now, Dad.”
He brings his hands together like he’s praying. “Praise the Lord.”
I roll my eyes. “I know I’ve said it a lot, but I really am sorry for scaring you and Mum. I never wanted to make you this sad.”
“I’m not sad, sweetheart. I’m worried.” He looks at me carefully.
“I want to be the best father I can be. I want to be worthy of having you as my daughter. I know you think about your birth parents a lot. I just want to make sure the life you have with us is better than whatever life you might have had with them.”
That breaks my heart a little.
He worries he’s not enough for Ella and me, just like we worry we’re not enough for him and Mum.
“I don’t want better parents, Dad. You and Mum give me and Ella everything we could ever need.”
He gives me a look. “Maybe that’s the problem. Maybe we give you too much.”
I half laugh and shrug. “Maybe. But we really do appreciate the life you’ve given us.
You gave us music, a family, a beautiful home, and the best friends we could ask for.
I think you’re doing everything right. I’m just the one stuffing it up all the time.
You don’t see Ella acting like me, so clearly you’re doing something right.
Maybe my moods come from my birth parents.
It’s the only explanation I can come up with for why I’m such a brat. ”
“You are a brat,” he says, deadpan. “But I love you anyway. And Annie, even if you’ve got a temper for the rest of your life, I don’t care, as long as you’re healthy and happy. That’s all I really want for you.”
“Thanks, Dad.”
He leans his head back against the couch. “So… wanna jam?”
I laugh and stare at him. “We just had a massive heart-to-heart, and now you want to jam like nothing happened?”
He smirks. “Music makes me feel better, and I know it does the same for you. I figured if we played together, it might shake off some of the leftover tension.”
I smile properly for the first time all day. “Okay. But only if we play a Staked song.”
He laughs and gets to his feet, walking over to grab the guitars. “Okay, sure.”
I stand and go to take mine from him.
***