Chapter Thirty-Nine #2
Mum nods, already understanding.
I head upstairs and stop outside Ella’s door, knocking softly.
No answer.
I wait a moment, then push the door open.
Ella’s lying on her bed, earphones in, staring at the ceiling. She turns when she hears me, and the second I see her face, I know she’s been crying.
“Can I come in?” I ask gently.
She pulls out her earphones and sits up, gesturing for me to join her. I cross the room and sit beside her, wrapping my arm around her shoulders and pulling her close.
“I’m so sorry,” I whisper.
She pulls back slightly, frowning. “For what?”
“For this. For her showing up. I never asked for any of it. And honestly… I don’t even know how I feel right now. Happy, scared, something in between.”
Her face crumples, and she starts crying.
My chest tightens, and I pull her closer.
“I can help you find your parents, you know,” I say softly.
“If you want. We have the resources. Mum and Dad would help too.” She only cries harder.
“Oh, Ella,” I murmur, pressing my cheek to her hair. “Please don’t cry.”
“I’m not crying for me,” she chokes out.
I pull back, confused. “What do you mean?”
“I’m crying for you,” she says.
I blink. “Why?”
“Have you seen h-her?” Ella says, her voice cracking. “She’s awful. And if that’s what my parents are like, I don’t ever want to find them.”
I go still.
Because I know exactly what she means.
There’s something off about Loretta.
I just can’t explain what.
We sit here for a while, talking quietly. Ella admits she thinks Loretta might be around for the wrong reasons… that she has something to gain from knowing us.
And the worst part?
A small, uncomfortable part of me thinks she might be right.
A Few Days Later
We’re driving to the park to meet Loretta again, and something doesn’t feel right.
I can’t quite explain it.
I just… feel off.
I don’t understand why she wanted to meet here instead of at the manor, or why we couldn’t go to hers if she didn’t want to come to ours. It doesn’t make sense, and the more I think about it, the more uneasy I feel.
“How are you feeling?” Aston asks.
I shrug, staring out the window. “I don’t know. You’d think it would have settled by now, but I still feel… numb.”
Dad pulls the four-wheel drive into the same spot as last time, parking beside Loretta’s car.
This time, other vehicles are there.
Vans.
I barely register them at first. It’s a public place where people come and go.
Still…
Something about it makes my stomach tighten.
We get out and walk together toward the oak tree and picnic table.
Loretta is already there, waving as we approach. “Annie, honey, how are you?” she says, stepping forward and pulling me into a hug.
I stiffen before returning it, awkward and brief.
It still feels all kinds of wrong.
Like hugging a stranger.
“I’m good,” I say, pulling back and moving toward the table. “How are you?”
“I’m wonderful,” she says, louder than usual. “You’re my daughter. I couldn’t be prouder.”
Something shifts behind me.
Movement.
Before I can turn fully, three men with cameras and one with a video rig burst from the bushes and rush straight toward us.
I freeze.
“What—”
“Ms. Banks, is it true you’re Annie Slade’s birth mother?” the cameraman asks, shoving the lens closer.
My chest tightens instantly.
No.
No, no, no.
I don’t want this out.
“Hey! Turn that off,” Mum snaps, stepping forward. “You do not have permission to film us.”
The cameraman laughs. “Public place, sweetheart. We’ve got every right.”
Dad moves in front of me, grabbing my arm and pulling me to my feet, his expression dark with fury. “Did you do this?” he demands, turning on Loretta.
She shakes her head quickly. “No, of course not!”
Aston is already beside me, pulling me into him and turning my face into his chest, shielding me from the cameras.
“Can we get a family shot?” one of the photographers calls out.
My stomach twists violently.
Family.
I feel the tears start to build. They’re going to put this everywhere. And today, of all days, she looks—I can’t even finish the thought.
“No, you cannot,” Dad snaps, stepping toward them. “Get the hell out of here and stop taking photos. Have you no decency?”
“Just doing our job, mate,” one of them replies casually. “And this? This is a massive story.”
They move closer.
Too close.
Cameras flashing.
Questions flying.
“Shit! C’mon, Annie,” Aston mutters, tightening his grip on me as he starts moving us back toward the car.
“You better get your facts straight, or we’ll sue every one of you,” Dad calls over his shoulder as he follows.
I glance back.
Loretta isn’t with us.
She’s still standing there.
Talking.
To the cameraman.
And something inside me snaps.
Finally, I feel something.
Not numbness.
Not confusion.
Anger.
Hurt.
Resentment.
But more than anything…
I feel used.
Maybe Ella was right. Maybe this was never about me. Maybe this was about what she could get. And I hate that thought more than anything.
We reach the car just as one of the photographers catches up and snaps photos nonstop.
“Annie, sweetheart, get in,” Mum urges, throwing the door open.
I climb in quickly, Aston right behind me, followed by Ella as Mum slams the door shut.
I press into Aston, and he shields my face as flashes go off through the window.
The tears come anyway.
“Oh, baby… don’t cry,” Aston murmurs, rubbing my arm. “She’s not worth it. None of this is.”
Mum and Dad are yelling outside, but I can’t focus on what they’re saying.
“Jesus, this is insane,” Ella mutters under her breath.
My heart starts racing.
Too fast.
Too hard.
Heat floods my body, followed by a cold, clammy sweat, and my hands begin to shake.
I can’t breathe.
I try…
But it’s like my lungs won’t work.
The world tilts, sound distorting as the pounding in my ears drowns everything else out.
Aston is talking to me, I can see his mouth moving… but I can’t hear him.
I look up at him, panic clawing up my throat.
Everything spins.
Oh God.
I’m having a panic attack.
Aston bangs on the window, and Mum and Dad rush back into the car.
“Annie, look at me,” Mum says, turning in her seat.
I try, but everything blurs through tears.
“Breathe, sweetheart. You’re safe. They can’t hurt you.” Her hands come up to my face, grounding me.
Aston’s hand moves slowly up and down my back.
“Just breathe,” Mum says again, her voice steady. “In… and out… nice and slow.”
I focus on her.
On her beautiful voice.
On the way, her chest rises and falls.
I copy her.
In.
Out.
In.
Out.
Gradually, the pressure eases, and my chest loosens.
The spinning slows.
“Good girl,” Mum murmurs. “That’s it. Just breathe.”
The car moves, pulling away from the park and the chaos.
Away from her.
Home.
My safe place.
With my family.
My real family.
Mum.
Dad.
Ella.
Aston.
That’s it!
They’re all I need.
Loretta doesn’t fit into that.
Not now.
Maybe not ever.
I stare out the window, my breathing finally steady, but my chest still tight.
I don’t know if she set that up… but I don’t know that she didn’t.
And that uncertainty…
That’s what scares me the most.