19. Chapter 19 #2
Cyrus looked up for a moment. He’d forgotten how many days it had been. Three? Five? It couldn’t have been more than five if the meeting was that night.
Cyrus took a slow breath. “Right,” he mumbled. He’d nearly forgotten about it, but he wasn’t going to tell Lily that.
“You forgot,” she mumbled. He rolled his eyes and brushed a lock of his hair behind his ear as he looked away for a moment.
“What is going on with you?” Lily asked. She brushed her own more defined curls behind her ear and leaned against the counter beside him like a plate of pancakes that had been made hours before were spinning around the humming machine.
“Nothing,” he insisted for the ninetieth time.
Lily furrowed her brow and looked at the ground. She shook her head and looked back up at him.
“I wish you couldn’t shut me out,” she huffed.
Cyrus swallowed hard. “I’m not trying to.”
“Bull-fucking-shit,” she spat out in one breath. “I know you, and you’re avoiding me, avoiding Gabe. Avoiding everyone. We’re all having a hard time. We’re all scared. You can’t just push us away.”
Cyrus curled his hands into fists and tried to look away, but the look of sadness and frustration drew him back to her gaze.
“I can’t talk to you about it,” he told her. “I can’t tell you. Gabe has to.”
Lily looked at him, confused.
“You’ll find out at the meeting,” he insisted.
Lily shook her head. “I want you to tell me,” she insisted back at him.
He was quiet and aloof. He could barely stand the sight of her, the disappointment. The pain. It all felt so heavy on his shoulders.
“Fine, but let’s get some food in ourselves, and then we’ll go out for a walk, okay?” Cyrus asked her.
Lily nodded.
The microwave beeped. Lily turned around to grab the plate and stuck another smaller one into the microwave. Cyrus grabbed the one she offered to him and moved to sit at the island counter.
He slowly ate the food and tried to think about anything else. As Lily sat down, he was already halfway through his food.
“I know it’s been a tough few weeks,” she told him. “But I want you to know you can always come to me.”
Cyrus nodded. “I know, I’m sorry,” he mumbled.
“I know some of it you can’t say because of…tradition, rules, whatever, but…honestly, fuck that sometimes,” Lily huffed.
Cyrus eyed her. He could tell she was having a rough time. She never swore as much as she had already that morning. His brow furrowed.
“I’m sorry if I’ve made this harder on you, sweetheart,” he said quietly. “You’re like my sister. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Lily’s gaze softened, and she paused mid-bite.
“Cyrus…” She sighed. “I love you. You’re my family. I don’t care what anyone or any stupid rule says. I want you to be able to talk to me. I want to know what’s going on.”
Cyrus’s gaze softened, and he looked at the counter. His own heart was aching in his chest.
“It’ll be okay,” he told her. “I’m not the best for this pack, but Gabe is.”
Lily looked confused. “What are you talking about?” she asked. “Gabe is doing his best, but we all know you deserved Liam’s place. Frankly, you deserved his fathers.”
Cyrus swallowed hard. His stomach felt tight.
“I’m not so sure about that,” he said slowly. “Look how I’ve handled this?”
“Handled what?” Lily asked. “Sure, you’re being a distant ass, but this is a messed-up situation, Cyrus. No one could handle it better than you, at least when it comes to all of us.”
Cyrus felt like he couldn’t breathe.
“Gabe wants to offer himself,” he said slowly, his gaze shifting up to look into her eyes. “He wants to challenge Jasmine and fight her to the death.”
“What?” Lily asked. “I figured we were all going to be asked to fight.”
Cyrus nodded. “That was the plan and is the backup plan,” he explained, “but Gabe wants to challenge her to avoid things being as bloody as possible from the start.” He swallowed hard.
He could see the emotion written across her face. The way changed from worry frustration to understanding. It hit him like a rock in the best.
“That’s…” she said slowly. “That’s so brave of him. That makes sense.”
She slowly took another bite and then looked up from the counter at Cyrus, her brows furrowed. Her eyes softened and glittered.
“Oh, Cyrus,” she mumbled. She reached across the counter and took him by the hand.
Cyrus looked away from her.
“He can do it,” she assured him.
Cyrus took a slow breath. “But there’s a chance he won’t. He’ll be dead.”
“Just like Kasper,” Lily mumbled. “God, and right after I told you to get to know him.” She put a hand on her forehead.
Cyrus shook his head. “No. You were right,” he told her quietly. “It’s just my fucked luck.”
Lily looked like she was near tears. Cyrus could barely take it.
“I have to do something about this,” he insisted.
Lily looked back up and him, her eyes dripping as she did so.
“No,” she said slowly.
Cyrus sighed. “How can you expect me just to sit idly by?” he asked.
“Because you’re not Alpha, Gabe is. If he wants to do this, you have to let him,” she told him.
Cyrus’s ears and face heated up. “Aren’t you the one who just said, fuck the rules sometimes?” he asked her.
“When it comes to telling me things, not getting yourself killed,” she told him. Her own teary eyes filled with anger.
Cyrus stood up from his seat, unable to finish his food.
“You said I’m what’s best for this pack,” he reminded her. “I think Gabe could lead us, but he can’t win the fight.”
“How do you know?” Lily asked, also standing up. “He beat Liam. Are you saying Jasmine is stronger than Liam?”
“No, but I don’t trust that they’ll fight fair, Lilian!” he growled.
“You have to let him do this,” Lily repeated. “If you go against him, you're risking your place in this pack. If you don’t die, you’ll lose your family if Gabe decides—” she cut off, her voice cracking.
Cyrus took a slow breath. “Fine.” He said slowly.
His heart ached, and he walked out.