Chapter 3
BEEN WORTH IT ALONE
The doorbell went off. His heart pounded in his chest and his palms started to sweat.
An odd reaction for the babysitter and not the person he’d be meeting for dinner.
“Is she here?” Becca shouted and ran toward the door.
His daughter was only disappointed that Lila couldn’t make it for five seconds. The minute he’d told her someone else would be here, Becca was asking a million questions.
Too bad he didn’t have many answers since he didn’t know all that much about Alana other than she was a nice coworker, reliable and trustworthy.
Not her age, what interests she had outside of volunteering in the community. Things he’d heard through the walls or in the halls.
He assumed she was single, but had no clue.
Alana didn’t talk too much about her personal life and he wasn’t about to ask anyone.
Hell, he didn’t even want to go on this date, but he needed to move on. He wanted to give his daughter the chance at a real normal family and to do that, he had to try.
The last thing he thought divorcee Celia was going to provide.
“It sounds like she is,” he said. He was right behind his daughter and reached for the door as Becca jumped up and down, her blonde pigtails swinging around her head.
He opened the door to Alana standing on his front porch, a pizza box in her hand, a smile on her face, a few flurries in the background.
She made a vision showing up this way.
One that had his heart hammering even faster.
Slow the hell down, he told himself. She is coming to watch my daughter, not spend time with me.
He couldn’t get that lucky and sure the hell wasn’t about to jeopardize anything in his job.
“Hi,” she said. “I’ve got dinner.”
“I’m Becca,” his daughter said, pushing past his legs. “And I loooooove pizza. Daddy told me you were coming and that we’ve met before. I remember you.”
“You do?” she asked, stepping into his rented home, then squatting down to get eye level with Becca.
He reached over and snagged the pizza box out of her hand.
“I do,” Becca said. “You’re pretty. Do you know how to do a nice braid? Daddy doesn’t.”
“Thank you,” she said. “You’re pretty too. And yes, I know how to do braids. I can do your hair.”
Becca jumped up twice more. “Can you teach Daddy? Grandma can’t.”
“I can try, but your daddy has to go out tonight. You and I can have fun though.”
“After dinner,” Becca shouted and then turned and dashed out of the foyer.
“She’s full of energy,” he said. “Let me take your jacket.”
Alana slipped her burgundy parka off, his hand coming out to reach for it, their fingers brushing by mistake.
She didn’t flinch or look at him. Hmm. That sucked.
“I’ll try to tire her out for you. What time does she go to bed? Let me know the nighttime routine.”
“Oh, I’ll be home long before that,” he said. He’d make sure of it.
“Okay,” she said.
“Come in and I’ll show you around. Excuse the clutter.”
He picked up as many toys as he could, but Becca was always right behind him pulling something else out.
At least he could contain most of it in this room.
“Kids make messes. That’s how you know they are enjoying themselves.”
“That’s a nice positive way to think of it,” he said. “This is her playroom. Much better to give this to her than take it as an office. I can shut the door when I need to but most times it’s open.”
It was across from the living room and allowed him to monitor her while she played.
“My parents had a room where we stored all of our stuff,” she said.
“Did you grow up on the island?”
“No,” she said. “In Boston, but I spent a lot of time here.”
“I was here a few times as a kid. My mother loved it. She finally got her dream home in the retirement community this fall. She’d been waiting over a year for it.”
“That’s wonderful,” she said. “I’m assuming that is why you moved here? For the help.”
“I did,” he said. “She was my backup in Boston and then when my nanny took another job, I was in trouble. The thought of finding another was more than I could handle. Thankfully, my mother suggested I move here and see if I could transfer. I hadn’t thought it would be possible.”
“It’s hard for them to fill staff on the island,” she said. “I’m sure Karen and Kelsey were more than thrilled you were interested.”
“That’s exactly what they said. Anyway. There you go. Kitchen this way.”
He moved down a hall, passed the half bath he pointed out, then the dining room off the kitchen, that also flowed into the living room.
“And there is your office,” she said, her eyes on his desk in the dining room.
They didn’t need a large table since it was only him and Becca. The only other person would be his mother and they went to her house for most gatherings.
He’d shoved a desk in the corner and it allowed him to watch Becca in the living room if he had things to do.
“I try not to do too much work at home, but that isn’t always the case. Becca is good at letting me go while she’s playing or watching a movie.”
His daughter was piling toys in a row on the floor. He knew what was going to happen but would let Alana experience it.
“Not all kids will,” she said. “I watch my cousins’ kids. The boys need attention nonstop; otherwise who knows what mess they’ll get into?”
“My mother said I was the same way.”
Alana looked over and saw the line of objects increasing on his living room floor.
“What’s she doing?” she whispered.
“You’re going to get an introduction to them all and an equal amount of playtime. But don’t tell her I told you. She’ll want to explain it herself.”
“Aww, that’s so cute. And smart in a way.”
“She’s too smart for her own good.” He turned to his daughter. “Becca, I’m going to talk to Alana for a minute.”
“Okay,” Becca shouted. She hadn’t even turned her head to look at him.
“She can eat once I leave. I don’t expect to be over ninety minutes.” He’d make sure Celia was aware of that. “She goes to bed between seven thirty and eight, so just keep her up and I’ll deal with it.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive. She’ll be too excited to go down anyway. Then she’s going to want to tell me all about her night with you.”
“Sounds as if you’re a pro at this.”
“It’s not as if I go out much,” he said. He didn’t need her to think he was out playing the field and leaving his daughter with other people to be raised.
“I meant nothing by it,” she said. A slight flush crept up her neck to her cheeks. “Only that you know your daughter well. That’s a nice thing.”
“It’s just been the two of us for the past three years so, yeah, I know her.”
Alana seemed to hesitate. As if she wanted to ask more, but Becca came running in. “Can we eat now?”
“Sure,” he said. “Let me get you in your seat.”
“I can do it, Daddy.”
Becca turned and ran to the table in the dining room. Walking in with Alana behind him, he secured his daughter tightly. “What do you want to drink?”
“Milk.”
Alana was on his heels in the kitchen. He pulled down a cup, showing Alana where they were kept, then got the milk, filled the cup halfway, and put the top on.
“If I fill it all the way, she drinks it before she finishes her food and then doesn’t finish her meal.
Once she’s halfway through her food, I give her another half a cup. ”
“Got it,” she said.
He pulled out one of his daughter’s small plates with Bluey on it, then another for Alana that he ate off of, grabbed a knife and cut the pizza up into small bites for Becca.
“She wants to eat it like I do, but she takes huge bites.”
“I know CPR but would rather not have to use any of those things tonight. Maybe cut them smaller.”
He laughed and did that just to get Alana to smile again. “Good information to have.”
“I think we’re good unless you have more instructions for me. You probably have to leave.”
He looked at his watch. “I do.” Though he’d rather stay here and keep talking to Alana. “I really appreciate this. You’ve got my number, right? Call if there is an issue. Or text a question.”
“I’m sure we’ll be fine. I bet we don’t even get through all those toys on the floor.”
“Don’t be so sure,” he said. He walked into the dining room with the plate of food for Becca, Alana behind him with her plate and a slice of pizza. “Help yourself to anything you want to drink or eat.”
Where the hell had his manners gone?
“Thanks,” she said.
Becca was diving into her food. “I’m going to eat two pieces tonight.”
He gave his daughter a kiss on the cheek. “You can if you’re hungry. I’ll be home soon.”
“Bye,” Becca said, waving at him.
Alana smirked at his daughter’s dismissal and went back to her dinner.
He grabbed his jacket and slipped it on over the button-down shirt he’d worn to work today. All he did was change out of his dress pants into jeans.
It was a ten-minute drive to the restaurant, Celia already waiting for him in the lobby.
He felt like shit, but he wasn’t late. There were still five minutes to spare.
“Hi,” Celia said, her hand reaching out for his. She was a touchy person, always running her hand down his arm or bumping into him.
“Sorry if I’m late,” he said. “My sitter canceled earlier and I got someone else and I had to make sure she and Becca were fine.”
“Oh,” Celia said. “I’m glad you wanted this date as much as me to get another sitter, but you could have brought her to my house with Polly. My sitter wouldn’t have minded and then the girls could have had a little play date.”
“I wouldn’t do that to your sitter,” he said. “And Polly has her brother to play with.”
“Asher doesn’t like to play with his younger sister.” Celia let out an annoying little giggle. “I thought having two close together would make it easier, but I was wrong.”
He pulled the door open to the restaurant and held it for her. “I was an only child and wished for a sibling.”
“I’ve got sisters,” Celia said. “We fought all the time. You didn’t want any more? I have to ask, if you don’t mind. It’s rare for the man to end up with primary custody.”
Going right into it. Not that rare in his mind.
Lots of men had shared custody, at the very least.
“Becca’s mother’s career makes it hard for her to be a single mother.”
“Oh,” Celia asked. “What does she do? Does she at least get weekends or something?”
He read the underlying message there. So that he had free weekends.
“She’s an international flight attendant. She’s gone all the time and at odd hours. It worked out better this way.”
He wasn’t about to say that Rene didn’t want their child. He always knew that deep down.
Once he found out his ex had been sleeping with multiple men while they were together, their relationship was over in his mind.
“Sometimes I wish my ex had the kids more. Every other weekend and two nights during the week. He said it’s too much to always have them switching houses during the week and keeping track of who picks them up and when. It’d give me a break, that is for sure.”
Celia had two strikes against her. First, she’d crossed a line by getting too personal about Becca’s mother, and nearly insulting the fact that he was raising his daughter full time. Second, she openly admitted she didn’t want to spend as much time with her own kids.
Not the kind of woman he wanted in his life.
He was going to keep an open mind, but it was closing rapidly.
“I always say there’d be no break if we were still together,” he said.
Celia waved her hand. “Nah. That’s what sitters and grandparents are for. Your whole life can’t be about your kids. You still have to live some too.”
He knew a lot of people who felt that way. That could balance it.
Maybe if he had a solid relationship, he’d be fine with it too.
He’d just yet to discover that.
The server saved him from making another comment and took their drink orders, then left after leaving the menus to look over.
He picked it up, glanced and decided on a steak. It’d be fast and get this date over with.
He wondered what Alana and Becca were playing with right now. Or were they still eating dinner?
Celia cleared her throat, and he put down the menu, giving her the attention she had subtly requested. “Have you lived on the island long?”
“About five years,” Celia said. “My ex works for Bond Construction. We moved here when I was pregnant with Asher. It was easy enough to find a job. They are always looking for people here, but it’s not so easy to find a place to live.
You haven’t been here long. I never asked what you even did other than you’re dressed up when you drop off Becca. ”
“I’m a partner at Raymond Financial Services. I was at their firm in Boston prior to relocating.”
“Ohhh, fancy. Why did you want to come here?”
“I lost my nanny.”
“You had a nanny?” Her eyes just lit up. “I hadn’t realized that was such a big important job. But I guess it is. Do you do investments and stuff?”
“No,” he said. “I can, but that isn’t what I do. I’m a CPA and manage financial services, taxes, and corporate finances.”
“Sounds... interesting. It’s over my head though.”
Which was Celia’s way of not wanting to talk about it. That was fine with him.
“What do you do for work?”
“I’m a customer service manager for the grocery store on the island. I’d like to work my way up to assistant store manager and store manager someday. It’s nights and weekends or holidays, but gives me a break from the kids and pays more. I was off today, and it made it easier to come out tonight.”
Which could be why she suggested it when she hinted at that date and backed him into a corner.
He had to be honest with himself. Celia asked him out and he was too much of a nice guy to say no.
More like a chicken shit.
“I think it’s great to have career goals.”
“It’s more about money,” Celia said. “It’s a hard place to live. They pay more, but it costs more. When I was married, it wasn’t so bad, but child support only stretches so far. I’d love to get out of the apartment I’m in. The kids aren’t happy sharing a room. Did you buy a house on the island?”
He felt as if he was Celia’s career goal.
“I’m renting one for now,” he said. “The inventory is low and out of my range.”
It didn’t mean he didn’t have his eyes open for something in the future, but there was no reason to put roots down too deep in case things didn’t work on the island.
Two months in wasn’t enough time for him to know for sure.
Celia’s hand reached across the table and grabbed his. “I bet you’ve got a house soon enough with that important-sounding job of yours.”
Her nails were a nude color and pointy. Almost scary in his mind, matching the color of her skin as an extension of her fingers.
Not as scary as her bright red lips in a seductive smile as her thumb caressed his hand.
He should have canceled tonight.
But then he wouldn’t have seen Alana again, and that had been worth it alone.