Chapter 16 When It Feels Right
WHEN IT FEELS RIGHT
“How was your date on Friday?” Kelsey asked, running into Alana’s office Monday morning.
Nothing like not giving her a chance to get her jacket off.
“Shhhh.”
“There isn’t anyone here,” Kelsey said. “I came in early knowing you’d do the same. I didn’t want to text you this weekend in case you were together.”
“We weren’t,” she said.
Brennan left Friday after giving her one hell of a kiss goodnight, but they’d only texted on Saturday and Sunday a few times.
He was spending time with his daughter and doing everything else he had to do like she did over the weekends.
“So it wasn’t a good date?” Kelsey’s bottom lip protruded out some.
“It was an excellent date. He took me for a private painting session at Laine’s studio. He had finger foods on toothpicks so we didn’t have to touch them and then wine to drink. We finished the bottle at my house.”
“Woohoo,” Kelsey said, swiveling her hips some. “Did you jump his bones?”
“No,” she said. “And be quiet. I don’t want anyone in the office to know we are dating. That was one conversation we had.”
“I wouldn’t be this loud if anyone was here.”
“But someone could walk in,” she argued.
“Good point.” Kelsey walked over and shut the door. “Give me the lowdown.”
“I just told you,” she said. “We did more talking than anything.”
“Did you get the deets on Becca’s mother?”
“I did and I’m not sharing. He said I’m the only person he works with that knows.”
“It’s that bad?” Kelsey asked.
“If he wants people to know he’ll tell them. But I’ll tell you what he told me before the date, as that isn’t a secret. Rene, that’s his ex, is an international flight attendant.”
“That has to be hard to parent then,” Kelsey said.
“Yes.” Her head went back and forth on adding the next part. She didn’t think it’d be that horrible considering Brennan had full custody and moved to the island. “She didn’t want to be a mother.”
“Got it,” Kelsey said. Her fingers twisted on her lips. “I won’t say a word. At least about that. So, back to you two. Did you kiss?”
“Yes,” she said.
“And?”
“And what? He kissed me when he left.”
“How did it make you feel?”
She never talked like this with anyone in the past. Would it hurt all that much to do it now?
“Exciting. Hot. I didn’t want him to leave but wouldn’t tell him to stay either.”
“Because that’s not you. I’d do that if I was feeling it. It’s not like Brennan is a stranger, but I understand this is tricky. You’re not concerned about work, are you?”
“Not really.” She waited a second. “We wrote questions down and asked them of each other.”
“That sounds fun. I would ask them anyway and not need to write them down,” Kelsey said.
“Because you’ve got no filter. But I channeled some of you. I can’t believe I did it and was so embarrassed when it was the first of ten questions drawn. His face flushed more than mine.”
She wanted to rip it out of his hands and break the glass to throw it into the gas fireplace.
“What did you ask?” Kelsey was almost jumping up and down.
“I asked in his mind how many dates before he had sex?”
“Oh my God,” Kelsey screeched and pointed her finger. “You asked that? No way.”
“I did. He’s the first person I’ve dated that I think I can see a future with since Jonathan. I went on a few dates and they were a one-and-done. Did it to get it over with more than anything.”
“You never told me that,” Kelsey said with her hands on her hips.
She wanted to mimic her cousin, but took her coat off that she’d forgotten she was still wearing.
She hung it behind her door. “You haven’t asked. And it was nothing worth talking about. So if I don’t count them, and I was with Jonathan for seven years, plus the year apart. It’s been eight years since I’ve had to think or worry about this. I wanted to know.”
“What did he say?”
“He said he doesn’t have a number and never tries to even think of one. That it will happen when it feels right by both sides.”
“That’s a nice answer and the truth. I would have jumped Van sooner but didn’t want him to think I was a ho.”
“How long was it before you did?”
“Well, you know we had a few dates and then we didn’t see each other for a week and it was because he had to talk to my father first.”
Alana knew Van’s history. He’d inherited his grandfather’s estate and business ventures. He became partners with Kyle Raymond but told no one on the island about it. Hadn’t even let Kyle know he was here.
When Van realized he had a few dates with Kyle’s daughter, he sought him out first so that there were no secrets.
“True. So that slowed you guys down,” she said.
“Not that much but more than it would have otherwise. By the third date, I was ready to drop his jeans and ride him into the sunset.”
She burst out laughing. Kelsey never shied away from any conversation.
“It’s been a year for me,” she said.
She had her head down as she booted her laptop on her desk.
“And you’re feeling the itch, huh?”
There was no lying. “Yep. I don’t want to rush, but I’m telling myself if I’m feeling something, that I’m sick of being the person to hold back. Holding back hasn’t gotten me anywhere so far.”
“I’m so proud of you,” Kelsey said, wiping an imaginary tear from her eye. “Do you think he is feeling the same?”
“Yes,” she said. The way he kissed her and pulled her close to his body said that he was more than thrilled she brought up the question first.
That maybe he was trying to feel her out to see her reaction to him.
It was the first intimate contact between them.
And it was smooth as silk.
Easy as Sunday morning.
Sweet as cotton candy.
“I’m happy for you. Both of you. Ride that man into the sunset. You deserve it.” She was laughing when Kelsey’s phone dinged in her purse that was still on her shoulder. Her cousin had her jacket on too. She fished the phone out. “Oh. Brennan is sick.”
“He’s sick or Becca is?”
“He said he has the flu. He meant to text earlier but just woke up.”
“We texted yesterday afternoon when Becca was napping. He had said nothing to me.”
“Maybe it came on suddenly,” Kelsey said. “I’m going to pull up his schedule and just see if there is anything I have to take care of for him.”
Alana had her phone in her hand and debated reaching out.
Brennan had to know she’d find out. It wouldn’t be a secret.
Waiting served no purpose. Especially if he was up.
She sent a text that she’d just heard he had the flu and wanted to know if Becca was okay.
She didn’t get a reply right away, and put her phone down to start her day.
Twenty minutes later the text came in that he was sorry, he was throwing up and back in bed. Becca was with his mother and he hoped Alana felt fine.
She did. So whatever he had he must have caught after he was with her.
She told him to rest and she’d check in with him later.
At the end of the day, she hadn’t heard another word from him and was worried.
She ran to the store and bought Gatorade, some chicken soup, and crackers, then texted that she was going to leave him a care package on the back porch.
When she got out of the car, the front door opened. “Don’t come too close.”
“Whoa,” she said. “Casper has more color than you.”
His hair was sticking up in every direction imaginable. He was wrapped tight in a wool blanket with thick socks on his feet. Looked like he had gray sweats on. At least what was popping out of the cocoon of blankets.
“I just wanted to thank you. I’m not sure I can keep anything down or in me right now, but I appreciate you bringing it over. I ran out of Becca’s Pedialyte.”
She didn’t even think that he’d have that in the house.
“Are you sure you’re okay alone?” she asked. “Are you running a fever?”
“I was, but I’ve been taking stuff. Not sure what it is now.”
“You’re shivering.”
“The door is open and I’m cold.”
“Go in the house,” she said, moving toward him. “I mean it. Go. I’m behind you but not close enough.”
He kept moving backwards so there was a distance between them, then he went into the living room and she marched into the kitchen and poured him some of the Gatorade in a glass.
She walked into the living room, but he was moving backwards again.
“I don’t want you to get sick.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
“I worry. God, I feel like I got hit by a truck, then a steamroller finished the job.”
“I can’t leave you like this,” she said. “Go back to bed and I’ll stay down here. I mean it, Brennan. You really look bad. Think of Becca if anything happened to you.”
He held her stare, which she was positive wasn’t an easy feat with how glossy his eyes were. She wasn’t sure he was focusing on her.
“Yeah,” he said. “I’m sure I’ll be fine.”
“Go upstairs to your room. I’ll stay ten feet behind you and bring up the glass and bottle for more, but you need to drink some of it. I’ll watch TV down here if you’re fine with it.”
“Thanks,” he said. “I don’t even have the energy to argue.”
“Then don’t. Go. Yell for me or text me if you need anything.”
He turned and went up the stairs, holding the railing as he slowly walked.
Once she knew he had enough time to be in bed, she went up and set everything by his bed. Huddled under the covers, he was almost shaking.
“I’m so cold.”
She left the room and went to the bathroom, found a thermometer and returned to his room, pointing it at his head.
It was a hundred and two point two. “When was the last time you took something for your fever?”
“Three hours ago. Maybe four. I don’t know. I’m not sure what time it is. I took it at one.”
“It’s almost six. You can have more.”
She went back to the bathroom and shook out two Motrin, gave them to him and made sure he got them down, then tucked him in and found another blanket in a hall closet to put on him.
There was no way in hell she was leaving him alone looking like that. Even if it meant she contracted it too.