Chapter 23
DOING THE RIGHT THING
“Rene has the worst timing imaginable,” his mother said at noon when he picked up Becca.
He’d planned on coming earlier, but when he got the text that Rene was going to be on the ferry at one, he cleaned the house first before getting his daughter. She’d only tear it apart and he’d be stressed running around before they left again.
If he’d hoped that Rene would forget or not reach out, he buried that thought down deep.
“What was I supposed to do?” he asked.
“Tell her no,” his mother said. “You have that right.”
Brennan walked into the living room to see Becca watching her movie. She’d come running to him for a big hug and kiss, told him all about her night filled with Christmas movies and then went to watch one again while he talked with his mother.
“She hasn’t seen Becca since her birthday over the summer. I wasn’t sure she’d reach out and I don’t feel right telling her no. I know I’m doing the right thing.”
“You always worry that Becca is going to blame you for having no relationship with her mother.”
“I don’t know if she will or not, but I’m not willing to take that chance. This isn’t the life I pictured in my mind when I thought of having children.”
His mother sighed. “I know you wanted duel parent upbringing. That you missed out not having a father in your life.”
“Never think that,” he said. The last thing he needed was his mother to feel guilty that she’d done it alone. “You did a great job with me. You showed me that one person can not only do it all but do a wonderful job at it.”
“That’s right. Don’t you forget it either. But now you might have someone else. Are you worried this is going to cause problems with Rene showing up today? That is what I meant about the worst timing.”
“I’m not too worried,” he said. “If anything, Alana was almost too accepting of it.”
“And that bothers you?”
He sighed. “I hate that I’m looking for things that might not be there.”
“Then don’t.” His mother was squinting her eyes and pointing a finger at him. “You’ve always gotten in your head without cause.”
“I have cause,” he said. “Becca has to come first.”
“You put her first, but you need to do that for yourself too.”
“Mom, I want to move on and I have been trying. I just worry that Alana is saying she is okay with this when she’s not.”
“Stop,” his mother said. “You’re so afraid that some woman won’t take Becca in as her own or treat her as her own because of the way Rene treats her. Very few people out there are as malicious as Rene.”
“Thank God for that.”
“Let that toxic shit go. You won’t know how Alana or any woman will be in the future until you get there. Do you like Alana?”
“A lot.” More than he had anyone else and the fear that not just his daughter could get hurt but that he could as well was mounting.
“Becca hasn’t stopped yammering about Alana and dinner with her this week.”
“Really?” He hadn’t known if his daughter would do that or not.
“Yes. How you handle letting Becca know Alana is more than her friend is up to you, but the way my granddaughter talks about her tells me that Alana isn’t playing some long game to get to you through your daughter.”
“I don’t think so.”
“You’re saying it, so believe it.”
“She took care of me when I was sick. I looked like hell. She didn’t need to do it and didn’t hesitate to stay.”
“That’s right. If it was about Becca and putting on a front, she wouldn’t have even dropped stuff off, let alone slept on that small couch of yours, then gotten up and gone to work the next day.”
He’d thought Alana would have stayed home or at least worked from home, but she hadn’t.
“Daddy, when are we leaving?” Becca asked, running into the room.
“Soon,” he said. “Why don’t you go pick up any toys?”
“Are you going to tell her Rene is coming?”
“Not until I see her get off the ferry,” he said. “I don’t trust her not to change her mind.”
His mother snorted. “Why not make her take a selfie on the ferry so you know she’s coming and can prepare Becca? She might not even remember her.”
“Becca remembers everyone. And I told Rene to do that. She got pissy with me, but I’m not getting Becca excited only to explain why it didn’t happen. And I don’t want to just surprise her and have her think it could happen again too.”
“It’s a tough situation.”
“It is,” he said. One he wished he didn’t have to deal with, but there’d been too many times that Rene bailed last minute on them.
“I’m ready,” Becca said, dashing into the room.
His daughter’s hair was pulled back in a single braid flying around her head.
Normally Becca complained about the style being too boring.
“I gave her a bath and washed her hair last night,” his mother said. “She got chocolate in it.”
“Do I want to know how that happened?”
“Pudding. She got excited over something on one movie and flung her spoon out and it landed in her hair.”
“Better you than me.” He looked at Becca hopping in place. “Let’s get your jacket on and go.”
His mother grabbed Becca’s bookbag on the floor and handed it off.
Becca gave his mother a kiss, then he picked her up and carried her outside, getting her secure in the back.
“I’m hungry,” Becca said.
“Grandma said she fed you lunch.”
“But I want a snack,” Becca said. “Before my nap.”
Which was another thing that pissed him off. Becca napped at one and would miss that now and be a bear later.
He understood the ferry schedule this time of year made it tight, not running as often. So Rene would have to be back on it by four or wait until six.
He would bet she’d be on it at four. At least that was his hope.
He looked at his watch. By the time they got home it’d be one, but they’d have to leave by one thirty to get to the docks.
“Why don’t we drop your stuff off at home and then we can go to the bakery and pick out a few cookies?” he asked.
Her eyes were wide in the rearview mirror, but it’d buy them time. Once he got the text Rene was on the way, he could explain more and they could head right to the docks.
“Yes,” Becca said, her feet kicking in the back.
The text came in when they were in line to pick out their cookies. His ex was on the way.
They got to the case, selected their cookies, sat in a booth and each had one.
“Your nap is going to be a little later today,” he said. “We have to pick someone up at the docks soon.”
“Who?” Becca asked. She had chocolate smeared in the corner of her lip.
“Your mother is coming over to visit. She’s got some Christmas gifts for you.”
He felt safe enough saying that since he’d seen the bag of them in the picture.
“Yay! I can’t wait to see her.”
He questioned whether Becca’s excitement stemmed from seeing her mother, the gifts, or simply another visitor.
“She’ll be happy to hear that,” he said.
“Did I get her a gift for Christmas?”
“We have something for her,” he said. He’d run out and gotten her a sweater this morning before he ran home to clean. His options were limited on the island and there was no way he was buying jewelry.
“What color is it?” Becca asked.
“Blue,” he said.
“Mom likes blue,” Becca said.
That was the color Becca always picked out for Rene. He wasn’t sure why but knew that it’d fit in this instance. This was more a bright cobalt blue and Rene did like bold colors.
He felt as if he was betraying Alana buying this when he hadn’t even gotten her a gift and told himself he’d take care of that this weekend.
They finished their cookies and made their way back to his vehicle, then drove to the docks, getting there in time to see it come to the port.
“Why don’t we get out and go wait for her so she can see you?”
“I want to wave as they come in.”
“You can do that,” he said, picking her up and carrying her. No need to worry about her running off or getting shuffled around in the crowd.
The wind was blowing, the chill more than he cared for having Becca outside, but she was bundled up with a hat on her head and mittens on her fingers.
As the boat docked, people began departing, with cars driving off to the side. His eyes were searching for his ex and he saw her.
She was walking toward them, one hand holding a big shopping bag of gifts and the other waving at Becca.
It felt off to him. Odd.
Normally Rene didn’t seem that excited for a visit. More like it was an obligation that someone guilted her into.
At least he was lucky enough that Rene’s parents lived out west and didn’t seem to want to be involved in their granddaughter’s life.
One less thing for him to have to navigate.
“Mom!” Becca yelled and wiggled to get down.
He set her down when Rene was close enough that he wouldn’t lose sight of her.
Becca ran to Rene, who lifted her into the air. “There is my baby girl. Look at how big you’ve gotten.”
His jaw dropped over that welcome. It’d never happened before.
“I’ve grown,” Becca said.
“I see that,” Rene said. “Brennan.”
And there was the coldness. At least she masked it toward their daughter.
“Rene. Why don’t we get out of this cold?”
“I can’t wait for you to see my room and my toys and the Christmas tree.”
“I thought maybe we could go to lunch,” Rene said. “I haven’t eaten and bought my ticket to return at four. You can bring me back before then.”
“Becca has had lunch already. We just had a snack. We are pushing her nap back until later, but we can stop and get you food or I can make you something at the house.”
“Takeout is good,” Rene said. “Whatever you drive by first. I don’t think there is much here, is there?”
“More than enough to suit our needs,” he said.
The first fast food place they passed, he pulled into. There were only two on the island. One on each end.
He paid for Rene’s order and then went back to his place.
Becca had Rene’s hand and was pulling her inside the front door.
“This is a big place,” Rene said.
“It doesn’t feel it with all of Becca’s stuff, but it’s bigger than my apartment.”
“It’s a lot bigger than the place we had,” Rene said, looking around. “Do you enjoy living here, Becca?”
“I love it,” Becca said. “And Daddy said there are beaches to walk to when the weather is nicer. I’ve got a yard to play in. I’m going to build a snowman when we get snow.”
Rene walked in and looked around the first floor, then out the window in the backyard. “It looks nice out there.”
He didn’t know what was going on or through her head. She didn’t normally care this much, but maybe she was changing her tune.
“Do you want to see my room?” Becca asked.
“Let me eat first and then I will,” Rene said. She’d taken her jacket off and handed it to him, then took the bag of food and went to the couch to sit down.
No dining room table for her. Putting food before her daughter’s needs too.
Some things weren’t changing, that was for sure.
“Do you want to see my dance?” Becca asked.
“You’ve got a dance?” Rene asked. She was smiling, but it didn’t seem as genuine as it was when they welcomed her off the ferry.
“I’ve got a lot of dances. Daddy and I do. We make them up together. We can show them to you.”
“Why don’t you show me one of yours,” Rene said. “I don’t need to see your father dancing.”
Rene rolled her eyes when she added the last part. Becca didn’t notice and it was for the best.
“I’ll be back,” he said and walked to the kitchen to get a drink. He’d let the two of them talk some, but heard the music come on and his daughter giggling while she danced.
He pulled his phone out, wanting to text Alana, but knew it wasn’t the time or the place.
Maybe he wanted an encouraging word or a friendly voice rather than the flashbacks of dismissal that Rene always threw his way.
After he finished a glass of water, he returned to the living room. Rene was nearly finished eating, while Becca began another dance.
His ex didn’t seem all that entertained by it, but she was at least watching.
He reached for the bag once Rene stuffed the wrapper back in it.
“Do you want to open your gifts?” Rene asked.
Becca looked at him. “Can I, Daddy?”
“Sure,” he said. There was no reason not to. This visit was ten minutes in and already awkward as fuck. He didn’t want Becca to feel the tension in the air.
Rene pulled the gifts out of the bag and handed them over one by one while he went to the kitchen to get a garbage bag to put the paper in.
His daughter was squealing when he returned to the room to see a paint set just like the one she’d picked out to donate.
“I love painting and coloring,” Becca said. “I can do a picture for you.”
“I’d like that,” Rene said. “Why don’t you open the rest and then you can do that for me?”
Rene had gotten some thoughtful toys and two cute outfits. They were too big since she hadn’t asked for Becca’s sizes, but they’d get worn.
“Can we give Mom my gift now?” Becca asked.
“You got me a gift?” Rene asked. She looked surprised by it.
“I did,” Becca said. His daughter ran to the tree and grabbed it and brought it back. “I hope you like it.”
He grinned. It’s not like Becca even saw it; he’d had it wrapped before he picked her up.
Rene opened it and pulled the sweater out, then looked at him and nodded. “It’s pretty. Thanks.”
No big smile, but Becca ran to get a hug. “Can I draw you a picture now? I can use the crayons or the paint. What do you want?”
Rene looked at him. “Why don’t you draw me a picture with the crayons while your father and I talk?”
“Talk about what?” he asked.
“Just about Becca. Fill me in on her for the past six months.”
He frowned. He wanted to be sarcastic and ask why she was so interested now but wouldn’t do that in front of Becca.
“What do you want to know?” he asked.
“Everything,” Rene said. “Just talk and it will kill the time.”
This time it was him rolling his eyes. For a minute he thought Rene might actually be interested in learning about her daughter until she threw the last part in.