Chapter 28 Get Ahead Of Herself
GET AHEAD OF HERSELF
“Igot a dollhouse!” Becca screamed on Friday the minute Alana came in the door. “Santa brought it. It was right under the tree for me to see.”
“That’s wonderful,” she said, picking Becca up and giving her a hug.
She set the wiggling little girl down and turned to wink at Brennan. She knew he’d stayed up late putting the dollhouse together and cursing over it before he could get some sleep.
All those fun things she’d fantasized she’d be living with kids at her age.
Stuff that hadn’t come true.
Would she always be wishing for it or could she see it coming to light in her future now?
She didn’t want to get ahead of herself, but it was hard not to when every time she walked in the front door Becca greeted her as if she might be her new best friend.
Even Brennan was sending her a sweet smile, making her want to lean in for a kiss she was craving.
Too much of watching her cousins and what they had a few days ago was swirling in her brain and making her covet the happily ever after.
“Santa was a busy man on Christmas Eve. He ate five cookies,” he said.
“Wow. Santa might have to watch it or he could start expanding his belly more.”
“Santa is supposed to have a big belly,” Becca said. “Because it’s cold out when he delivers toys and that helps him stay warm.”
“I hadn’t known that,” she said, nodding her head.
Brennan shrugged and held his hands open. “It was news to me too.” He reached for her jacket and hung it up. She toed her boots off, set her bag down and pulled out the knit slippers she’d snuck in there. It was chilly out today and his wood floors were cold.
Maybe she was moving ahead of herself by getting comfortable, but Brennan only looked down and grinned.
“Daddy is making dinner,” Becca said. “He said you were having dinner with us.”
“I am,” she said. “And we’ve got the makings for hot fudge sundaes just like requested.”
Becca’s jaw opened and she jumped up and down, her blonde ponytail swishing around in circles. “I wanted hot fudge sundaes. Daddy said we didn’t have ice cream.”
“He told me,” she said. “I get to be the hero.”
“Like Skye?” Becca asked.
“Skye?” she asked, looking at Brennan.
“Female Paw Patrol character,” he said, giving her a playful shove. “Get with it.”
“I guess I need to find some Cliff Notes on cartoon characters.”
“You’ll never be able to keep up,” he said, shaking his head. “It’s forever changing.”
“I’ll give it my best shot,” she said, moving toward the kitchen to put the makings of their dessert away.
“How was work? Quiet this week?”
“It was,” she said. “There were only four people in the office today and two left at noon. Kelsey told me to close and work from home this afternoon so I did.”
“You could have come earlier,” he said.
“I had to finish a few things. This worked out well.”
It was five thirty. She could have just taken half a day too if she wanted, but she got more work done when it was quiet.
Brennan put the ice cream in the freezer. “Dinner shouldn’t be much longer.”
“Anything I can do to help?”
“No. This was easy to make and Becca loves it.”
“Smells like sauce,” she said.
He opened the oven door to show her a casserole dish of pasta, sauce and cheese on top. “Baked Ziti. There are pieces of sausage in it also, but she won’t eat them.”
He pulled a loaf of bread off the counter and sliced it so she grabbed the butter. She hated to stand around and let him do all the work.
“When I’ve got the house back to myself, I’d like to have you and Becca over and I’ll cook. You shouldn’t always have to do it all.”
“We’d like that. She’s excited about tomorrow. I hope she behaves.”
“If she doesn’t, then she doesn’t. It’s not like my mother hasn’t seen a temper tantrum a time or two. Does Becca ever have them?”
He laughed. “She has her moments. I try to stop it before it happens, but that isn’t always possible.”
“And unnecessary to always stop,” she said.
He closed one eye at her. “How so?”
“Brennan, that is how children test their boundaries. No one should have to keep their emotions locked in vaults for fear of punishment.”
“But there is a time and place and she shouldn’t think she can always get her way.”
“I’m not telling you how to parent. Please don’t assume that.” The last thing she needed was him to think she was judging his parenting skills. “It’s more about how I was as a child.”
“Oh,” he said. “I need to hear this.”
“Maybe another time.”
“Nope. You brought it up. I don’t see you the type to have too many fits.”
She sighed. “I rarely did. I saw Kirk get in trouble for it. I thought I better not do it then because I didn’t like to get in trouble.
But then it stifled me in learning how to express myself.
That’s what I’m getting at. It’s like everything else in life—you have to do it to learn from it. Right and wrong ways.”
“I get it. Trust me, Becca pushes the boundaries enough. I’m not the type to yell and scream, but I raise my voice. She doesn’t like it and cries, but that can’t be the reason I don’t do it.”
“Exactly. Not that I know the first thing about parenting, but I enjoy children and spending time with them. I’m not always the favorite ‘aunt’ who lets them get away with things. When I watch my cousins’ kids, they follow the rules, and if they don’t, they know what they did was wrong.”
She wasn’t one to shout or raise her voice. Maybe she should have done more of that with Jonathan, but she didn’t think it would have changed a damn thing in their relationship had she done it.
Instead, she kept most of her emotions locked up. If she was displeased with her ex-fiancé, he knew it, but they rarely fought. Not that he showed a large range of emotions either.
She had thought that gave them a good solid relationship. Not a lot of conflict. Stress only came in the form of pinning him down to move faster, but not their daily interactions.
Drama was at a minimum until she found out he was cheating.
Even then, she was swifter than a sword slicing a watermelon when she ended things.
His shit was packed up and left in the foyer of her apartment, so he could grab it and leave without coming in to talk.
Kirk was with her and not letting her ex get a word in of his lies, excuses or whining tears. She hadn’t planned that but was thankful it happened.
The last thing she wanted to do was break down and give Jonathan any opening that he could talk his way back into her life.
She wasn’t weak enough for it to happen, but he didn’t deserve to know how much he killed her dreams and shattered her trust.
She was just learning to stand again on shaky legs.
“I try to do the same,” he said. “Becca knows when she’s being bad. Most of her punishment is getting something taken away. If she cries and throws a fit over it, she gets sent to her room. She can get upset all she wants, but it doesn’t mean I’ve got to witness it.”
Alana ran her hand over his arm. “Does it break your heart to see her cry?”
“I’m a wuss,” he said. “But it does. Even when she’s being a little brat.”
She leaned up and gave him a kiss. “Not a wuss. A very caring, compassionate, and loving father.”
“Can I get a kiss too?” Becca asked.
She jumped out of Brennan’s personal space to see Becca standing in the doorway. The little girl always made so much noise that she was shocked she didn’t hear her standing there witnessing Alana kissing Brennan.
She looked at Brennan to see his reaction, and he was only smiling.
“You know I like giving kisses,” he said, opening his arms.
Becca ran in to get a kiss from her father, then reached over to be transferred to her arms. “Can I get one from you too?”
“Always,” she said, giving Becca a kiss on the cheek.
“I want one like you gave Daddy.” Becca pointed to her lips. “Right here.”
She did as asked and put Becca down, who ran back to the living room for her toys.
“She didn’t seem bothered by that,” she said.
“Nope. I say we just keep going with things and if she asks questions, we answer them the best we can. Are you good with it?”
Alana grabbed his cheeks in her hands and plastered a loud smacking kiss on his lips. “Thrilled with it.”