Chapter 16 Embarrassing Conversation
EMBARRASSING CONVERSATION
“Don’t even think about it,” he said. His voice came out harsher than he had wanted.
But he felt her tense. Stiffen. Get ready to pull away from him again.
If it were night and he were sleeping, he’d lay money down that she’d sneak out again.
Not happening this time.
“Think about what?”
Ethan ran his hand down the side of her head, her hair a tangled mess, but it only made her more appealing.
“Escaping. Thinking what just happened shouldn’t have.”
“Ethan—”
“Don’t. It’s Saturday.”
She sighed once, then again. “Is that the game it’s going to be?”
He didn’t want it to be any game but wasn’t sure how to navigate this to make it comfortable for her either.
“No. We are going to talk about this like mature adults. I mean it.”
“Meaning I’m not one?” she asked, lifting on his chest. He was still inside her and hard. Nothing about her was easy or over quickly.
“Your actions last time are different from the person I’ve come to know in the past week. Even today. I’m asking you not to leave. Not to do it again. We’ll talk it out. This wasn’t a one-time thing for me.”
She laughed. A forced one. “Two times.”
“Three if we want to get technical since it was twice the first night.”
She snorted and climbed off of him. He got off the bed with her. “I’m not leaving,” she said.
“I know where to find you if you did,” he threw over his shoulder as he walked to the bathroom. “And I feel your eyes on my ass so I know you don’t want to leave anyway.”
This time her laugh wasn’t forced. That was something at least.
The urge to shower was great, but it’d give her time to vanish again and he didn’t want that.
Maybe they could shower together after they had their talk.
When he came out of the bathroom she was dressed but still barefoot, her shoes in her hands with her socks stuffed into them.
He grabbed his shorts and underwear and pulled them on, then snatched his shirt off the floor and followed her out of the room.
“Something is burning.”
“Shit,” he said and ran toward the oven, then yanked the chicken out.
She burst out laughing. “I thought you could cook.”
“Hey, you’re to blame just as much as me. I was only going to kiss you.”
“Yeah, right,” she said, squinting at him.
“Well, I wanted more but wasn’t going to ask.”
“Which is why you said to prove it to you?”
He shrugged. It had more to do with watching her in action because he didn’t get that chance in the casino.
The room was dim, they were rushed, he did more work than her, but she’d been just as willing and eager.
“It worked,” he said. “You know you wanted to.”
“Duh,” she said. “The chicken doesn’t look too bad if you take the top layer off.”
“I’ll leave that to you and start the pasta and veggies. Ready for that wine now while we talk?”
“Yeah,” she said. “I’ll need it for this embarrassing conversation.”
Her head was down while she got to work on the chicken.
He took the knife out of her hand and set it down, forcing her to look at him, then pulling her into his arms for a loose hug.
“Nothing we’ve done is embarrassing. Not even you having mayo on the side of your mouth.”
“Thanks for that,” she said drily.
“I mean it, Nora. I know this is… complicated.”
“Layers of complication,” she murmured. “I’ve spent most of my life avoiding it. Moving back here, I knew there’d be some, but not like this.”
“I’m sorry for that. You’re not the only one caught in it.”
“I’ve got more to lose,” she said quietly. “You’re the boss.”
“You’ve got nothing to lose.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead. “If working for me ever becomes too much for any reason, I’ll make sure you’re placed somewhere equal in pay and position. And I’ll take the blame for being ‘difficult.’”
“No one would believe that.”
“Yes, they would,” he said with a faint smile. “Because I’m the boss, and people expect that. But that’s not the point. I’m saying set that part aside.”
“I don’t feel like I have much of a choice.”
“We all have choices, Nora. Just like we made one to spend the day together and ended up in my room. Don’t be na?ve. You can’t tell me you didn’t feel where this was going.”
“Not today,” she protested softly.
“Then I’ll take that as I’m irresistible.”
“Now you’re being cocky.”
“Persistent.”
“Impossible is more like it,” she said, moving out of his arms and picking the knife up.
She was relaxed enough to talk reasonable and that was better than her bolting.
He turned the stove on to get the water to boil, then got some oil in the pan for the peppers to go in first.
“This thing we’ve got. Let’s focus on separation.”
“The workweek versus the weekend?”
“Yes.”
“So that’s the only time we see each other?”
“I’m going to see you daily,” he said, grinning.
“I mean like this.”
“I think it’s smart that in the office that it’s a separation. Outside of that, I won’t have a lot of demands on your time. Work or leisure. Sorry for that, but there are times after hours I’ve got other obligations.”
Dinner and drinks with colleagues, family, even friends.
Would he like to include her in them? Fuck yeah.
But now sure the hell wasn’t the time and he didn’t know when it’d be. If ever.
“Are we exclusive?” she asked.
“Hands down, yes. I don’t share. Nothing. And I mean nothing.”
“You don’t have to worry about me stepping out. You’re the one more likely to do that.”
He wouldn’t be hurt by her words. She didn’t know him well enough to make that correct assessment.
“Many have judged me in the past and I’d like the person I’m with not to do that.”
She flushed, her eyes even got a little misty. “I’m sorry. That was uncalled for.”
“I don’t mean to come off like a dick, but it’s the truth. You’ve got your past and I’ve got mine.”
“Do I get to ask about yours?”
“In time,” he said. It wasn’t the place for this conversation. “I’m not as much of a player as you might think or even hear. Have you heard anything?”
“Not really. Blair has said little and I’m not talking to many in the office. I think they are wary of me.”
“And they will be for a while,” he said. “Feed off it.”
“No one can get a whiff of this,” she said. “I mean it. Not just about my father or what happened a month ago, but now. I don’t need that headache in my life.”
He wouldn’t be insulted over that either. Nora clearly had insecurities he was just touching the surface of. She’d find he’d had some too.
The only way to get her to open up was if he did the same.
“I won’t take offense to this. We are working our way around things. You commented on being exclusive and I said we are.”
“What are we?” she asked. “I don’t do friends with benefits. Or boss with benefits. I don’t know. I don’t know any of that.”
“We are feeling the other out. Dating but privately. That is how I operate normally.”
“Really? Or you’re just saying that to make me feel better?”
“It’s what I do. If I’m with someone who is out there boasting, bragging, or broadcasting, it ends quickly. It’s happened in the past and I think I’ve got a reputation for it. On the first date, it’s brought up.”
“You didn’t do any of that with me.”
“Because you left before I could the next day,” he said.
He might need to fill her in on his brother too. If Eli and Griffin knew, then Egan would. Just one of those sibling things. Best to clear the air with everything while he had the chance.
“Did you really want more with me?”
“I did,” he said. “If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have had you come in for that interview. I would have found an excuse to shut it down.”
“You said you wanted to talk to me.”
“That’s right, I did.” He turned to look at her and lowered his voice. “If it meant nothing, I would have played along with you in the hallway and walked away. It’s always meant something. I can’t explain it.”
“I need you to,” she said. “I’m sorry if I’m coming off clingy, but I can’t for the life of me figure out why you want to be with me unless it’s about sex. Unless it’s about the way I look on the outside.”
“Are you attractive and sexy? Fuck yeah. You can’t deny you feel the same about me or you would have shut me down at the bar and you didn’t. And it has nothing to do with knowing who I was and thinking I’d remember you.”
“You are pretty hot,” she said, grinning.
“I saw your looks, but more what I saw was confidence. You weren’t there looking to pick anyone up.
You weren’t there flashing the body you work so hard to have.
You were dressed nicely, your posture was straight, and you looked to be having fun alone.
I took a chance and came over. You were receptive.
And I don’t make a habit of doing that in any bar anymore, let alone where I’m known. ”
“For fear of being shot down with witnesses?”
He tugged on a lock of her hair. “Maybe. But I still did it because there was a pull there. We talked. We enjoyed each other’s company and I slipped and let my arrogant side out joking about my room.
I thought for sure you were going to walk away, or even put me in my place.
I’d have to start over again to convince you it was a joke. ”
“But I jumped on it.”
“You did. But it also rubbed me raw that you were so nonchalant about it.”
“There is that ego,” she said, pointing the knife at him.
“I’ve got a big one. I’ll admit it.”
She’d gone back to the chicken while he was paying attention to his pans. The water was boiling and he dropped in the pasta, then added the broccoli to the peppers.
He opened the wine fridge, grabbed a bottle of white to make a sauce with, then poured them both a glass.
“I don’t have one at all. That night, it was me being someone I always wanted to be.”
“And then you had regrets?”
“Yes. I still regret my actions, but I’m getting better with it. Now I’m worried you think that is all it is with me. I have no way to show or prove to you otherwise. You don’t know anyone who knows me other than my father.”
“And I wouldn’t ask them. Just like you wouldn’t ask anyone about me.”
“I can’t.”
“So we are in the same boat. No one knows.”
“About that,” he said.
Her shoulders dropped. “Ethan. Who did you tell? Oh my God, I’m going to have to leave. No one can keep secrets. I’ve been there before.”
“Hey, hey, hey,” he said, pulling her close when her eyes filled with tears.
“I didn’t tell anyone. A hotel staff member saw you sneaking out of the room the night in the casino.
You must have looked suspicious. They were doing their job and looked up whose room it was.
Once they saw it was mine, they alerted Griffin when you left before the first ferry.
They thought you might have been somewhere you shouldn’t be. ”
“That’s it? They don’t know who I am though?”
“They do. There are cameras everywhere. They traced your steps, your face went back to your license and your room. Since I reported nothing to my brother, they just assumed I got lucky.”
“Because you do that often,” she said, raising her voice.
“Not in years. I promise. And that could be why Eli and Griffin were watching out. Last weekend when I was home with everyone, my mother brought up my new assistant and your father. Eli laughed and I knew right away, he had put it together.”
“Jones is a common name.”
“Eleanor on your license is close to Nora. He won’t say anything to anyone other than Egan. Only to bust my ass. They know you ghosted me. Now I hired you.”
“And they’ve got to assume there is more.”
“They might, which is why they will stay quiet. My parents won’t find out. Not unless we tell them.”
“I’m not saying a word to your father.”
“Not now,” he said. “But we don’t know what the future will bring.”
“Well, I guess if we are confessing, my mother knows. But she’s in another country so that doesn’t count.”
“Hey, don’t get mad at me then if you told someone.”
“I needed the moral support and she knew it. She knows my history and past. You don’t.”
“But I’d like to,” he said, and turned to finish dinner when she clammed up.