Chapter 32 Find Her Footing
FIND HER FOOTING
When the helicopter touched down the next morning at the airport, Nora and Ethan got out and went through customs. It was only ninety minutes to fly here from the island, but by doing so, they needed to pass through the airport customs rather than driving and going through the border.
Still much faster than the five hours to drive, not counting crossing the border.
There was something surreal about stepping off a private helicopter instead of climbing out of a car. Another reminder of the world Ethan belonged to.
A world she was still trying to find her footing in.
She was getting there. Slowly and on her timeline.
Ethan wanting to push her to get up to his speed wasn’t helping them any.
At least he realized it and apologized.
No, she wasn’t embarrassed and expressed that to him after.
She was fearful of judgment.
Of being labeled as a gold digger.
If preparing herself for the comments about her father getting her her job—which was false—took time for her, then letting everyone know she was sleeping with her boss was way up on the list of things to slow the roll.
Did it change her feelings about Ethan?
No. Not that. Never.
Even when he was trying to make decisions.
And that hurt too. She wasn’t the one calling all the shots as he’d said. It was ludicrous for him to even consider that.
When they spent time together, it was always him arranging it.
He hadn’t even been inside her apartment, just always picking her up outside.
She’d bet he didn’t even realize that.
She sure the heck had. And maybe it was time to bring that up too. That he was wrong with what he said, but she hadn’t wanted to make their argument worse yesterday before seeing more of his family.
After this visit, they’d talk.
Because the last thing she wanted was to cause another fight before she saw her mother.
They walked through the terminal, went to customs and got through faster than she’d thought, found their rental car and plugged in her mother’s address.
“How many times have you been to your mother’s new house?”
“Once,” she said. “Right after she moved, but I drove. It’s not that far. Should be less than twenty minutes and the hotel is only five minutes away.”
One that she secured and paid for even though he’d been annoyed.
Too bad. There was no reason she couldn’t pay for something.
He’d even cut her off when she brought up the cost of the flight and he’d laughed and said he was paying for it because it was a convenience that he wanted.
“Are you excited to see your mother? It’s been how long?”
“Almost five months,” she said. “I’ve been on the island for three. I waited a month until my mother was settled before I went to see her. I should have gone another time before I moved, but there was so much to do.”
She talked to her mother a few times a week, they texted almost daily, even if it was only checking in.
It wasn’t as if she was missing that connection or support.
She still had it, just from a distance.
And as her mother had reminded her, she had a man in her life now. One she had to learn to lean on and build that support and trust there.
Man, was she trying, but it was hard.
“You have vacation time to take if you want to stay longer,” he said. “I can fly back alone.”
“Stop,” she said. “I’ll come back again in a few months. I’m just thrilled we are getting this time now. So thank you for it.”
“I wanted to meet your mom,” he said. “You know that.”
Another sign that he was all in.
They arrived at her mother’s house right before lunch, her mom coming out of the front door to greet her before she could get out of the rental car.
“Oh, my, look at you, Nora. You’re glowing with happiness.”
She hugged her mother tight, then turned to Ethan, who’d come next to them. “Mom, this is Ethan Bond. Ethan, my mother, Lynda, and her husband, Felix.” Who had just come outside to greet them.
She almost added in, “my boss” when introducing Ethan, but caught herself in time.
He was that, but she had to keep telling herself that wasn’t as important.
It was Sunday. Not Monday through Friday.
For them to get to the next stage, she had to keep reminding herself that being the man she was in love with was higher up than the guy who paid her.
If spending another day with his family hadn’t proven that they didn’t see her as an employee, then she didn’t know what more could be done.
One of the most powerful families in Boston looked at her as Ethan’s girlfriend yesterday, so she had to tell herself there was no reason she couldn’t start seeing it herself.
“It’s so nice to finally meet you,” her mother said. “I faintly remember seeing you as a kid at a summer picnic.”
“The same,” Ethan said, shaking hands.
“Come in,” her mother said. “I’ve got lunch set. We can sit and chat. I wish you were staying longer but understand it’s not easy.”
“We took tomorrow off of work.”
Ethan wasn’t able to get them a flight back today, so they would be home after lunch tomorrow. They’d get some work done in the morning and then when they returned.
It worried her that both she and Ethan were off the same day and if anyone would put it together, but he’d laughed and said that no one would think anything of it. Especially since his calendar was marked with meetings if anyone looked.
Hers was just being off.
If he wasn’t concerned over these things, then she just had to stop.
Felix and Ethan went to the deck to chat and have a beer and she was in the kitchen with her mother.
“So, how are things going? You really do look so good. Not just because it’s been so long since I’ve seen you, but there is this glow in your eyes.”
“Things are great. Had a tiny minor bump yesterday.”
She turned her head to see Ethan outside and heard his voice. Since she’d known he’d caught her talking to her mother before, she wanted to make sure it didn’t happen this time.
“What happened?”
She explained it to her mother. “Did I overreact?”
“I don’t think so. You know his personality more than me, but you have to put yourself in his shoes. He’s used to not caring what people think. If he’s not concerned, he’s telling you he has you without words. Did you look at it that way?”
“No. I should, but he hasn’t come out with those words and maybe I need them. Mitchell has said more than Ethan.”
“Which still says a lot. It means they support the relationship. Could it get messy? Yep. But it’s not the first time in your life you’ve been exposed to a messy situation.”
“I know. I’m waiting for everyone to find out I’m Norris’s daughter first. That could be a good practice run for the other information.”
Her mother smiled. “Good point. But it sounds as if your father is accepting of that. How are things with you two? You haven’t said much.”
“There hasn’t been much to say. Before I went to his office and told him my plan, we really hadn’t talked.”
Her mother’s head was to the side, her tone soft, “And it was hurtful because you feel as if you’re trying more than him?”
“Is that how you felt in your marriage?”
“That’s not the same thing and it never will be. I could walk away from your father and I did. I tried, but he is who he is and I couldn’t let that bring me down anymore. We never saw eye to eye, but I was in love and thought I could handle it. I was wrong.”
“Handle what?”
“Nora,” her mother said, laughing. “It’s in the past. You know. Just he’s grumpy and controlling. His way or no way. That’s not a relationship.”
“No,” she said, looking down. “It’s not.”
“Do you feel that is happening with Ethan? Because he might be the one who sets up all your dates, but it sounds to me as if you’re the one really dictating the status of your relationship. That he’s giving you the reins as much as it might kill him to do it.”
“No,” she said, shaking her head.
But that was wrong.
She was the one who wanted to move slow.
She was the one who kept saying that she wasn’t ready for people to know about them.
He sat back even when it wasn’t in his nature to do it.
Which was probably why his “joke” slipped out.
Because he was getting tired of waiting.
Waiting for her.
Would he give up on her?
Like so many other men had done in her life.
“What’s wrong?” she asked. “You look upset.”
She grabbed a tissue and blew her nose, and that was when Ethan walked in the door.
“Hey, everything okay?”
“Why don’t you two go talk,” her mother said.
Ethan got a panicked look in his eyes. “What’s going on?”
She pulled him to the living room in the house's front while her mother went to the deck.
“I just had a coming to Jesus moment.”
“About...?”
“Us. I got mad at what you said yesterday and I didn’t take into consideration that you might call all the shots about what we do in our free time, but I’m the one you’re waiting on about the rest. That maybe you’re doing what you feel you’re allowed to do.”
He frowned. “You haven’t brought up any ideas of things to do. Not once. I didn’t even realize you felt that way.”
She pursed her lips. “I haven’t?”
“No, Nora. Do you think I’m not waiting for you to do it? Maybe you’re afraid to because you think I won’t want to. I don’t know. Every weekend we end up at my place and then just go from there. You haven’t said you want to go watch a sporting event. Or go hiking. Maybe do some wine tasting.”
“I know how you feel about wine tasting,” she said, forcing out a laugh. It reminded her of the story he’d said about an ex.
“That’s not the point. You don’t bring up suggestions, so I do. I don’t know if it’s you not wanting to be seen out.”
“You’re the one wearing the hat out all the time. Do you want to wear it at a fancy restaurant?”
“I’m doing that for you.”
“You did it on the first day,” she argued.
“That was different. That was before we loved each other. Before my family knew and accepted you as one of them. The wheel is in your hands. I’ll admit, I hate it. It’s not like me to let someone else drive, but I’m doing it.”
“And you’re saying you’re not sure how much longer you will?”
She needed him to be honest with her. To be very clear.
“I’m not saying that at all. I’m telling you, I love you. I’m honoring your request right now. I’d like to change it, but I won’t. I’m not going to force you to do or be something you’re not comfortable with. I can’t believe you don’t trust me.”
The last thing she wanted to do was fight again.
Not when they cleared the air yesterday morning and then had a great day with his family.
“I trust you,” she said, reaching for his hand. “I really do. I’m sorry. I feel as if I’m in over my head and barely treading water.”
“Well, I can swim. I’ve got you. I need you to believe that.”
“Maybe I’ve been waiting for you to say it just like that.”
He pulled her into his arms. “Nora. I can say it until I’m blue in the face, but you’re not going to believe it until you witness it. You just have to decide when you’re ready for that to happen. Until then, I’ll keep passing you the keys.”
“I love you, Ethan.”
He kissed her on the forehead. “I love you too.”
“I’m getting there. I really am.”
“I know,” he said, sighing.
“Even if you want me to get there faster?”
“Well, I’d be lying if I didn’t say yes, but again, I’ll just be a passenger for now.”