28. So Gentle With Me
28
SO GENTLE WITH ME
“I freaking traveled in style,” Jordan said on Monday night.
Justine got out of work at six and picked her sister up at the airstrip on the island at seven.
It all worked out almost seamlessly from one flight to the next and here on the island.
“You did,” she said. “What’s it like?”
“You’ll have to ride it in at some point,” Jordan said.
“I would have booked an island tour, but there aren’t any available on this short of notice. Maybe I’ll do it another time, but I doubt it’s something that Garrett would want to do.”
“Why not?” Jordan asked. “Has he before? Just because he’s been on the island most of his life doesn’t mean he’s seen it from the air.”
“True,” she said. “I didn’t think of that. I wish I had more space for you than the couch. We can sleep together if you want.”
Jordan laughed. “No, thank you. I don’t need to share a bed with my sister. The couch is fine. You can go stay with Garrett if you want and give me your bed. I’m okay with that.”
She knew her sister was joking. Garrett had offered it, but she wanted to spend as much time as she could with Jordan for this visit.
“Do you want me to?” she asked softly. “Really?”
“No,” Jordan said, laughing when they pulled into the parking lot of her apartment. “Your couch has to be better than the cots at the hospital.”
“It’s a sleeper sofa. I hadn’t realized it. I figured I’d tell you today. I noticed this morning when I was moving the cushions around.”
“Sweet,” Jordan said. “Even better. See, it’s working out fine.”
“I want to say I’ve got our time planned out, but I don’t. I just want to spend it with you. If you want to go to Boston or Plymouth one day we can take the ferry over.”
“No way,” Jordan said. “Why would I do that when we are on an island? If you decide to return to Boston I’ll see the city then.”
“If?” she asked.
“Are you thinking maybe you won’t?” Jordan asked. “Or trying not to think about it at all?”
Justine sighed. She knew there was no avoiding this conversation.
“I’m not sure what to think. I’ve got three months left. I’m supposed to be here until the end of September. Garrett told me he loved me.”
“Oh, my God,” Jordan said, slapping her arm. “Why didn’t you tell me that?”
She laughed. “It just happened Friday night. I told him everything that had happened that day. He didn’t push, but we talked about Dad. He’s just so gentle with me.”
“Gentle is good and has its place.”
“He’s not always gentle,” she said, giggling.
“Listen to you,” Jordan said. “Not that I’d want anything that has happened in our life to have taken place, but you look so good. You look happy. That is all I wanted to see.”
“I feel happy. And guilty.”
“Oh no,” Jordan said when they were climbing the stairs to her apartment. “Don’t even go down that road. I’ll put up the road closure signs and force you to turn around. I mean it. Don’t do that.”
“I know,” she said. “I think it helps not being back home where I could feel judged for feeling happy after what we went through. It’s only been about seven months.”
“You’re entitled to have some happiness even during the grieving process,” Jordan said. “Don’t be a martyr. Dad would be pissed off if he heard you talking like this.”
“Talk about guilt,” she said, shoving her sister slightly when she opened the door.
“You never do silly things like that either.” Jordan put her bag down and moved over to hug her. “I’ve missed you so much.”
Justine held on tight because she needed the comfort of the only close family she had.
“I’ve missed you too. I’m sure you’re hungry.”
“Which is why I made you order that pizza when I landed. How long does delivery take?”
“On a Monday night, shouldn’t be much longer,” she said.
“Good,” Jordan said. “Then while we wait, I’m going to use your bathroom. In my suitcase is some mail I picked up at Dad’s. I know you don’t want to deal with these things, but I ran by to check. Ricky has been going through most of it and letting me know what is junk. But these things don’t seem it.”
Ricky had been taking care of the grounds for her father for years. They kept him on because it needed to be done and he could be trusted.
She let out a sigh. Might as well get right to it.
She unzipped her sister’s suitcase and pulled the pile out.
She was going through them when Jordan came back in.
“Most of this is junk too,” she said. “I see Dad’s account and there is a lot of autopay. Then Ricky is sending me anything that he thinks is a bill like the water or other taxes not on autopay.”
“Most of this could just be statements,” Jordan said.
“Not this,” Justine said, pulling out something from an alarm company. “This isn’t the same company for the alarms on the house.”
Jordan glanced at it. “It’s probably junk or something.”
“Doesn’t look it,” she said.
She opened it up and frowned.
“What?” Jordan asked.
“It’s an annual bill. A notice that the rates are going up and the payment is due in two months.”
“Did Dad have another security system that we didn’t know about?” Jordan asked.
“I don’t know,” she said. “You’ve been getting into the house the same way I have been, right?”
“Yeah. You’re not going to ask Elise, are you?”
She snorted. “No. This isn’t even a local company.” She pulled her phone out to call, but her buzzer went off and their food was here.
“I’ll go get it,” Jordan said.
“This place is closed anyway. It says the hours on it. I’m not worrying today. It’s not due for two months. I could just pay it, but I wanted to see what it is before I do that.”
“Your choice,” Jordan said. “It’s not much, might as well pay it. Now we can eat.”
Her sister returned a few minutes later carrying the pizza box and a bag on top.
“Mushrooms and peppers for you,” she said.
“My favorite,” Jordan said. “I know you’re not a big fungi eater.”
“It’s not horrible. Dad liked it.”
“He did,” Jordan said. “That’s why I wanted it. Here’s to Dad. We eat and we cry and then we laugh and tell funny stories. I think we need to do that now.”
Her bottom lip trembled. She turned to look at the little red cardinal that Garrett bought her.
“Do we have to?”
“Justine,” Jordan said firmly. “You’ve put it off long enough. You talk about it just enough to think you are pacifying me. We both need this. I have to work where he did. I have to hear people talk about him daily. It’s hard for me to show no reaction. I can do that here.”
It was selfish of her to not realize her sister might have needed this escape too but wouldn’t come out and say it.
She walked over to get two plates.
“Then to Dad,” she said. “What the hell were you thinking marrying Elise?”
“That’s the best way to start it off,” Jordan said and let the tears fall first. “We curse the bitch out, then we talk about the good times. We can have our crying hangover and the best medicine for that tomorrow is a beach day. I saw the weather. Deal?”
“Deal,” she said, grabbing a slice, taking a bite, and saying, “I never liked her and wished that I could have been as standoffish as you were.”
“Nah,” Jordan said. “It’s not you. You be you, I’ll be me. Dad had a lot of lectures for me over my treatment of Elise.”
“Not me,” she said, smirking. “I was the good kid.”
“Bitch,” Jordan said, laughing.
“That good kid is going to be a bitch right now. I should have confronted her when I noticed she’d been physical with him the first time. Garrett said Dad was probably embarrassed.”
“Yep,” Jordan said. “I’m sure he was.”
“Dad,” she said, looking up. “What the fuck was wrong with you?”
She slapped her hand in front of her mouth and Jordan burst into a fit of giggles. “Let it out, Justine. Shout it.”
“Fuck Elise,” Justine yelled. “Oh my God. That felt so good.”
“Do it again,” Jordan said. “Like this. Fuck you, Elise, you blood-sucking drunk. Hope you like your new cell that you’ll be living in soon.”
The two of them laughed and then just cried.