Chapter 39 Listen To Your Heart
LISTEN TO YOUR HEART
“Natalie, this is a pleasant surprise,” her mother said the next day.
After her appointment, she threw herself into work desperate to shove thoughts of the future to the back of her mind. There was too much to worry about, too much to face, and too many fears. Pushing it all aside was the only way to survive the day.
But beneath the worry came a flicker of happiness. For her. Her future. The child that was growing inside of her.
Arik loved her.
She loved him.
They were finally on the same page in life.
Maybe.
There was so much more to find out. To conquer. Map and plan.
Mapping and planning she excelled at and she had to do something productive.
“Sorry to drop in like this unannounced,” she said. It was better to do it like this than call ahead and worry them. It wasn’t like her to visit during the week. Not unless she had to pick something up or drop it off.
“It’s never a problem. Is everything okay?”
She forced past the confusion of the past few weeks. Clarity was nudging itself forward, but the more who found out about the baby, the more eyes and comments would be made in her direction.
It was like she’d done with Arik; she just had to get the words out first.
“I have something to tell you and Dad.”
“He’s out back working on a car. I’ll go get him.”
“Wait,” she said, her hand reaching for her mother’s. “I’ll tell you first.”
“Are you sick?”
The fear in her mother’s eyes had her blurting it out to ease that concern. “I’m pregnant.”
“Oh.”
The silence was killing her. “That’s all you’ve got to say? I’ve been dating someone for just over two months. Had no communication with him for over ten years prior and now I’m carrying his baby.”
“Sounds to me as if you’ve thought of it all and run everyone’s responses through your mind already.”
Something she’d always been guilty of in the past.
“Let’s sit. This is a shock. I know you’re disappointed in me.”
“Never,” her mother said. “Life happens. You never wanted to believe it, but it does. It’s happening to you now. I need to know one thing first. Well, two.”
“What is it?”
“Do you love him?”
“I do. I have for a while but have been fearful of saying it. He hasn’t proven he can stick something out long term.”
“No one proves that until you live it,” her mother said.
“I know. But he’s doing all the right things. Showing me he’s trying. That was before the baby. Since he found out, he’s just different. So excited. It’s all he wants to talk about, but we tabled it until I went to the doctor.”
“I’m assuming you did and that’s why you’re here?”
“We went together yesterday. I’m a little over seven weeks along. Early yet, and due January twentieth. Thankfully work is slow that time of the year.”
“Don’t even start talking about your job. It’s the least of your worries.”
“Don’t remind me.”
If it weren’t for the fact she loved Arik, she would have strangled him with a pillow while he slept last night.
She didn’t want to hear that there was no reason for her to work.
There would already be talk about his background and hers. Some might say she planned it this way.
She hadn’t and wouldn’t have.
“Before I address that, how are you feeling?”
“I feel good. Not sick or anything like that. A little tired, but I know it’s normal. Could be work is getting busy.”
“And he doesn’t want you to work?” her mother asked.
“He didn’t say it directly. Just that he doesn’t want me to work as hard. He brought up my staying home with the baby if I wanted. It was an option.”
“Which set you off,” her mother said. “Because then you’ll worry that he will think you wanted him for his money? Or other people will think that?”
“You know as well as I do it’s going to come up,” she said. “Right?”
“You’ve never cared what other people have said before. Why do you now?”
“I’ve always cared. I just never let it be known.”
“Now you’re going to have to work extra hard to make sure you don’t actually care or you don’t let people think you do. I’m willing to bet Arik doesn’t have a thought about it one way or another.”
“Because he can afford to do that. He’s his own boss.”
“Which brings us back to him. You said you love him. Do you know how he feels?”
The soft smile filled her face when she remembered him giving her the words she’d been dying to hear.
“I do,” she said softly. “He told me first right after my appointment while we were sitting in the car. He said he felt it earlier too. And I can see how hard he’s trying to prove he’s not going anywhere.
” She could admit this to her mother, if no one else.
“I was terrified when I found out I was pregnant. No amount of makeup could cover that. But he just laughed, pulled me into a hug, and said he was thrilled. You can’t fake that kind of reaction. ”
“Good for him. It’s exactly what you needed. Both times. Right?”
“It was.”
“He’s good for you.”
“In a lot of ways,” she said. “More than I thought possible. I want this thing we’ve got more than anything else in my life, but I’m scared.”
“It’s only natural to feel that way, Natalie. All you can do is trust what he says. Follow his lead and listen to your heart.”
“I’m trying.”
The back door creaked open, followed by the familiar thud of her father’s heavy footsteps. She’d been Daddy’s little girl for so long, and now the thought of seeing disappointment in his eyes twisted in her chest, sharp and nauseating.
“What are you doing here, Natalie?” her father asked as he wiped his hands on a dirty rag.
“I came to talk to you both.”
“Natalie has wonderful news to share,” her mother said.
She saw the excitement radiating from her mother. The way she bounced on her toes, her smile lighting up the entire room. Her fingers flexed with anticipation as if she was already aching to hold a baby still many months away from arriving.
“That’s how you looked when Avery said she was pregnant,” her father said.
She lifted an eyebrow. “Guess she’s had some practice then.”
Her father swiveled in her direction. “Are you pregnant?”
“Surprise?” she asked. It’s not as if she was trying to make light of it, but her mother at least eased some of her fears.
There wasn’t anything she could do about it anyway.
“Is she joking, Vanessa?”
“No,” her mother said. “We’re going to have another grandchild in about seven months.”
“What about another wedding?” her father asked.
“Dad. One thing at a time. Times are different.”
“Not so different that I don’t want my daughter to be married before she has a child. How come Arik isn’t here with you? Is he afraid I’d return to the garage for my shotgun?”
This wasn’t going as well as she’d hoped.
“No. I asked him to let me come alone. But we can come to dinner and talk to you both. He’s very excited. We’re in love with each other.”
“That’s the first step to a ring on the finger.”
“Joe Bond, cut it out. You’re going to make Natalie self-conscious.”
Too late.
“I’m speaking the truth. I know my daughter. This isn’t what you want, is it?”
“I’ve learned that what I want in life isn’t always what I get. Or at least not in the order I thought it’d fall. As Mom said recently, life happens and it’s happening to me. We love each other. He’s not going anywhere and I believe that. We’ve got months to figure the rest out.”
“You’ve always known your mind,” her father said. “Right or wrong, you did your thing.”
She always did the right thing and that might be why her father was reacting the way he was now.
“That’s right. I have and I will again. I’ve got a good job and Arik is more than financially secure. None of that will be an issue.”
“I didn’t say it would be. You don’t even live together. How do you know he won’t get on your nerves? When the baby comes, I’m going to assume you’ll be living together because I expect you to be married.”
“Joe! Stop picking on Natalie.”
“He’s not joking,” she said.
“Yeah, I am,” her father said, sighing. “I don’t want to be, but I can’t force anything. I’m not joking about the fact you could get on each other’s nerves. You’re pretty... particular about the way you do things.”
“I am and he knows it. He’s a slob. We’ve had this discussion. It’s why he’s got a cleaning person who comes in twice a week.”
“You wouldn’t want that,” her mother said. “Someone going through your private things.”
“I don’t live with him.”
“Now,” her father said.
“Now,” she agreed. “But I’m not going to be his maid. We’ll have a lot of things to work out, but nothing that has to be done today. I wanted you both to know. I’d like to keep it a little quiet. I’ll tell Carter, Avery, and Grayson this weekend. No one else until I’m out of the first trimester.”
It’d give them more time to get a better handle on their future.