Chapter 8
CHAPTER EIGHT
Sawyer
Listening to Emerson tell me how he feels is making me feel better. I know exactly how I feel about him, but I was worried that I would scare him off if I told him.
“I want to be with you. I was worried about telling you that. But now I know that you feel the same things for me that I feel for you. And River loves you. So what I’m saying is I want to be with you. I just worry that you might change your mind about a ready-made family.”
“You need to know something about me. My da isn’t my biological da.
He adopted me when I was three. Just because River isn’t my biological son, doesn’t mean he is not my son.
I feel it in my heart. My da told me that same thing when I was little.
That it didn’t matter that I wasn’t his blood.
I was in his heart. And he’s never made me feel any different from my siblings.
Not once. And that’s what River will feel. ”
I launch myself at him and hug him. “Thank you,” I say as he laughs.
“Okay, now that we have that done, there’s more we need to talk about.”
“Okay…I’m listening.”
“The one thing my Zio Enea needed me to tell you is that no matter what I tell you, it has to stay in the family. If you have questions, you can always ask me. But it has to be around family only.”
“You’re making it sound like you’re the mob.” She laughs.
I look at her and smile.
“We are. My Zio Enea is the head of the Chicago Mafia. Before him, it was his father and his father before him. The only difference is that my zio is the first here in America. Before that, they were in Italy and Ireland.”
“Whoa. Wait. You’re serious? Your family is mafia? Are you mafia?”
“Well, we all are. Every one of us are part of the Chicago Mafia and the Cimaruta MC.”
“Wait, MC? I’ve heard of them too. They’re bad people.” I frown.
“All of the people you met last night, did any of them seem like bad people to you?”
I think about it for a minute. “No. But—”
“There is no ‘but.’ The stories that people talk about are sometimes exaggerated. But I will be honest and say that they’ve both started changing their ways.
About nine years ago, Zio Enea and Giacomo Bastianini came together to do more good for the town and the city of Chicago.
Giacomo is the president of the MC and like my zio, he’s taken over from his papà.
The Cimaruta originated in Italy and Ireland too. ”
“Did they all know each other back in Italy and Ireland?”
“Some of them did. I know that my Antín Graínne and Caitríona Bastianini grew up together. But they lost touch and then reconnected here in Chicago.”
“How awesome is that, to know somebody for that long. And to be apart and just pick up again. I love that.”
“How are you with being part of my family? I know it’s a lot to take in, but they’re all good people.
We love hard and protect every person that we love.
No questions. You and River have that now.
A family that loves you unconditionally.
And no matter what happens to you, you have support.
You can call any of our Lake Renegade family and someone will come to help. ”
I can’t help the tears that are falling.
Everything that Emerson’s saying is what I’ve wished for.
I always hoped that my family would come to me and say they were sorry for abandoning me.
But at some point I realized that it would never happen.
Finding Emerson and his family has helped my heart feel whole.
It feels like I’ve been with them for years and not days.
“Thank you. I wish I could think of better words to explain how grateful I am for you. And for your family. I told myself that River and I would always be okay by ourselves. But these last few days I’ve realized what we’ve been missing.
The smile on his face is so much bigger and brighter when he’s with the family.
So knowing we’re now part of the mafia and MC?
It doesn’t bother me at all. In fact, I feel safer. ”
Emerson pulls me to him and holds me.
“I’m sorry you went through so much as a child.
My biological father was horrible too. He abused my mama, physically and mentally.
I don’t remember a whole lot of it, but I do have a few memories.
She took me and ran when I was three. We ended up here in Chicago and she got a job at the Mancini Grill.
That’s where she met my da. From the moment they met, he protected us both.
When my bio da showed up and threatened us—”
“I’m thinking you’re going to tell me that he’s not around anymore.”
Emerson looks at me and nods. That thought scares me a little, but at the same time? I feel like that’s what should’ve been done.
“But knowing that he can never hurt my mama again? It’s okay with me. As good as the families are, they still take care of some problems the old school way.”
“Meaning they will kill if they have to?”
“Yes. But that also doesn’t mean you’ll know when they do. There have been times they’ve let people go and dealt with them through the courts. My cousin Salvatore is the sheriff of Lake Renegade. So we all walk that fine line.”
I nod and lay my head on his chest.
“I don’t know how I feel about the killing, but I do understand it. So I guess that’s something I’ll have to come to terms with as we go. I do know that it feels like they’re not just killing people for fun. And I can understand doing it to protect the ones we love.”
“That’s exactly how it is. Maybe in the old days, things were different. But now? Things are talked out and weighed before decisions are made.”
“I love your family.”
“Our family.”
Emerson
It’s a huge relief that Sawyer understands how the family works and why we do what we do.
I hope she knows that no matter what her family tries to do, she has our entire family behind her.
I hold her close to me, I want to erase all the bad things that have ever happened to her.
But since I can’t, I plan on making new memories for her and for River.
Waking up with Sawyer in my arms is how I want to wake up every day for the rest of my life. I spend a few minutes just watching her sleep. She’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.
“I love you,” I whisper to her.
Sawyer’s eyes fly open and she’s looking at me.
“You love me?”
I lean forward and kiss her.
“I love you, mo chuisle, my heartbeat.”
“I love you,” she says softly as she kisses me.
I run my hands down her body as I kiss her neck.
“I’ll wait if you want,” I whisper as I slide my hand down her body.
“I don’t want to wait.”
I kiss her and slide my hand into her shorts.
“Fuck, you’re so wet,” I growl as I make my way down her body.
I kiss her belly, I can’t wait until she’s carrying another baby. I look up and see her watching me. I pull her shorts off and bite her inner thigh as she gasps. I slowly lick her and slide a finger in her.
“Oh god, yes,” she moans.
Fuck, this woman is driving me crazy. I suck on her clit as I get my shorts off.
“Come for me, mo chuisle.”
I slide a finger in her again as I feel her pussy clamping down.
“Fuck.” She grabs a pillow and puts it over her face.
I chuckle as I kiss my way back up her body.
“Do you want me to use protection? I’ve never had unprotected sex.”
“Never?”
“Never.”
“I’m not on birth control. I haven’t been with anyone since before I had River.”
I rub my cock on her pussy.
“I’ll do whatever you want. But if it’s my choice? I don’t want to use one.”
“And if I get pregnant?”
“Then we’ll be having a baby,” I say as I start to push into her.
Sawyer nods and closes her eyes.
“Baby, look at me,” I say as she looks at me.
“I love you,” I say to her as I push into her.
I kiss her as I slowly push all the way in. She grabs my ass and holds me in place.
“Give me a second.” She moans.
I feel her squeezing my cock and holy fuck. I lift her leg up to get even deeper.
“Oh god,” she gasps.
“Fuck, you’re so tight, and if you keep squeezing my dick like that this is going to be over way too fast,” I say as I slowly pull out and push back in.
She giggles as I feel her do it again.
“Holy fuck,” I growl at her.
I put both her legs onto my shoulders as I move faster.
“Oh god, Emerson.”
I smile as I reach down and rub her clit. I move faster as I feel her orgasm growing again. If it’s fucking possible, her pussy is grabbing onto my cock even more and it’s fucking incredible. I pinch her clit and I feel her coming. I move faster and push into her one last time as I come.
“Fuck,” I growl out as I drop her legs and hold myself over her. I don’t want to pull out just yet. “You’re fucking incredible, mo chuisle.”
“I’ve never come before.” She smiles as I kiss her.
“Well, I plan to make you come every chance I get.”
“I like that plan.”
“We should take a shower. Would you like to join me?”
Sawyer nods as we get up and into the shower. I wash her gently as she watches me.
“If you keep looking at me like that, we’re going to be in here a lot longer.”
She laughs as she kisses me.
“As much as I’d love to, I don’t think I could right now.”
“Did I hurt you?” I frown.
“No, but it’s been a while for me and you’re not exactly tiny.”
I laugh. “I hope that’s a good thing.”
“Oh, it is. My turn.” She smiles as she washes me.
We finish up and, as we’re getting dressed, there’s a knock at the door. Sawyer goes over to open it and River’s there, yawning.
“Morning, little man.” I smile as he comes over and puts his arms up for me to pick him up. “Did you have a good sleep?”
“Yes.” He yawns again.
“Come on, let’s get your teeth brushed and change your clothes.” Sawyer laughs.
“Oookay.”
I hand him to his mama as I finish getting dressed. After a few minutes, they both come out.
“Are you ready for breakfast? My mama always makes breakfast for everyone.”
“Yes, please.” River grins at me.
We all head downstairs.
“Morning,” I say to my mama as I give her a kiss on the cheek.
River copies me and does the same. The smile on my mama’s face is priceless.
“Would you like eggs and pancakes?” she asks River.
“Yes, please,” he says as he climbs into his booster seat.
“Wait. Do we get a choice too?” Easton asks making faces.
“Nope. You eat what I make.”
“But…”
I stifle a laugh and shake my head. My brother knows better than to poke at our mama. I think he’s doing it to make River laugh. And it’s working.
“Why do you get a choice?” Easton teases River as he tickles his tummy.
“I dunno.” He laughs.
“River gets a choice because he’s my grandson and he’s perfect.”
“But I’m your son. And I’m perfect.”
We all bust out laughing.
“Yes, all my children are perfect. And now we have River.”
Mama states that like the conversation’s over. Easton makes more faces at River as he giggles.