Chapter 10 #3
‘I don’t think—’ Zoe began desperately, even though she was afraid the damage was done. And just as she feared, her efforts were in vain because her mother’s expression suddenly transformed from pleasant interest to stony interrogation.
‘What’s this?’ She spun to face Zoe. ‘Your father’s…?’ She glanced from Zoe to the vicar, clearly waiting for one of them to enlighten her. ‘Your father’s what?’
‘Oh…’ the vicar said, his face losing two shades. ‘I only meant…’
‘What did you mean?’ Cherie demanded. ‘He’s not getting married here, surely?’
‘Well, he has enquired and…’ The vicar gulped as he looked at Zoe for help, help that she was unable to give.
‘He phoned to confirm the arrangements yesterday. I thought you knew. The banns have been read this morning, as a matter of fact. I did wonder if you’d come to hear them, but…
’ His sentence trailed off as he looked back at Cherie.
‘As a matter of fact…’ he added, suddenly staring at his watch, ‘I have lots to do and I’m afraid…
you’re welcome to finish your tour of the church, but I really must get on.
It was very nice to meet… perhaps I’ll see you again… Well, I must get on. Goodbye.’
With that, he dashed towards a side door, leaving Zoe to pick up the pieces from the bomb he’d just detonated in their midst.
‘Mum, it’s nothing to do with me, and I didn’t know until—’
‘It’s fine,’ Cherie said stiffly. ‘It makes no difference to me where they get married. They’re going to do it anyway – the fact it’s going to be in the village where our daughter has just moved to is neither here nor there.
I suppose you’ll all be here? You and your brother and your boyfriend?
All at the wedding? Here, in this church, in this village? ’
‘I suppose so. I haven’t had a minute to ask Tom if he’s coming, but presumably he is.’
‘I’m sure you’ll all have a lovely time.’
Zoe watched her mum carefully as she started for the doors.
‘I think I’ve seen enough of the church now.’
‘Do you want to go over to see Ottilie now?’
‘I think… Could I have a minute first? A quick sit-down on a bench or something? Outside, if possible.’
‘Whatever you need…’
Zoe rushed to open the doors and then led her mum to the side of the building where she knew there was a bench in the shade of a broad old tree.
It always felt secluded to Zoe, safe and private, and it was obvious her mother needed to collect herself.
On reflection, Zoe had to be surprised at how well her mum seemed to be taking the news. She’d expected far worse than this.
‘It’s a lovely spot,’ Cherie mused as Zoe sat her down, and she gazed at her surroundings.
‘Perfect, romantic, idyllic… the sort of place I would have liked to have been married. But I got the register office. It was fine; it was a joint decision, of course, because money was tight back then. Still…’
She let out a sigh, and Zoe was afraid she was going to burst into tears.
But she didn’t. She simply stared into the distance, as if watching a past scene play out on a screen nobody else could see.
Was this the moment of acceptance? Had she finally made her peace with her ex-husband and Chantal’s relationship?
One thing was for sure, hearing that the wedding had been booked and the banns read had to mean that there was no going back – for Cherie at least. This thing was happening whether she liked it or not, and the sooner she accepted the fact, the sooner she could start moving on.
‘When did he tell you about the venue?’ Cherie asked after what seemed like an eternity of silence. ‘You didn’t seem surprised when the vicar told you.’
‘Well…’
‘Of course, your dad would have said something because it’s your local church, isn’t it? You could have warned me. I looked like such a fool in front of your vicar.’
‘I’m sorry. I realise now I should have done, but I didn’t know how to tell you. Are you angry?’
‘I don’t know what I am. I’m in shock. What made him choose this place?’ Cherie turned to her. ‘Please don’t tell me it was your suggestion.’
‘God no! Honestly, hearing about the plans has given me more sleepless nights than I’d like to count! I don’t know what made him choose this church… I guess maybe Chantal saw it online or something.’
‘It’s a bit of a way out from them. A strange choice.’
‘I suppose knowing I’d come to live here and hearing about how much I liked it must have made her look into the area, that’s all.’
‘I suppose that’s the only explanation then.’
‘It is. I would never have suggested it – I’m not crazy!’
‘Are you going to be a bridesmaid?’
‘I doubt it. I haven’t been asked, and if I am, I’ll politely decline.’
‘What about your brother?’
‘I don’t think the dress would suit him.’
Cherie shot a withering look at Zoe, who’d known the joke to be lame but on the spur of the moment thought it worth a punt anyway. ‘I mean, is he taking on a role on the day?’
‘What kind of role?’
‘Like best man?’
‘I don’t know. If he is, I certainly haven’t heard about it.
But then, I don’t hear from him all that often.
If anything, Ritchie sees my brother more than I do, even though we’re not together now.
Tom hasn’t even been to see me here yet.
But I don’t know much about any of it. Dad has sprung this on everyone, not just you, Mum.
We’re all having to come to terms with the fact he’s going to be married to Chantal in a few weeks. ’
‘It’s insensitive, that’s what it is. No consideration for how it might affect anyone, as long as he gets what he wants. Or should I say, she gets what she wants.’
‘I don’t think it’s quite like that. He’s just trying to make everything official before the baby comes. It’s not unheard of for couples to do that.’
‘More like she’s trying to make sure he has no escape route.’
Zoe frowned. She could have pointed out that he had a perfectly good escape route no matter what Chantal did.
It was called a divorce, and neither she nor her mum were a stranger to that process.
To spout nonsense about Chantal somehow trapping her dad was just that, nonsense.
The world didn’t work like that, and even her mum had to know that it hadn’t worked like that for many years.
But she didn’t point it out because she realised Cherie was being deliberately obtuse about it.
She knew the reality as well as Zoe did, but she needed to vent. It was easier to let her.
‘I’m sorry the wedding is going to be here,’ she said after a pause.
‘You said it had nothing to do with you, so why would you be sorry?’
‘It will have something to do with me, though, won’t it? I live up the road – I’m going to end up involved in some way. And I’ll be there on the day.’
Cherie pursed her lips but said nothing more about Zoe’s statement.
‘You understand this is hard for me?’ Zoe said. ‘It’s hard for me to avoid getting involved, even if I’d prefer not to. I have to be neutral – I love you both, you and Dad, and I don’t want to be forced to choose one over the other.’
‘I’ve never asked you to.’
‘Hmm…’ was all Zoe could think to say.
‘All I want,’ her mum continued, ‘is to be left in peace. I’ve lost, and I tried to be a gracious loser, but it’s hard when he’s parading her around and I’m getting this wedding business shoved in my face every five minutes.’
‘I won’t mention it when we’re together,’ Zoe said. ‘I won’t say a word about it if that makes things easier.’
‘It’s not just you, is it?’
‘Yes, well, I can’t speak for anyone else. I can only make that promise for myself.’ Zoe got up from the bench. ‘I think, if you’re still up to it, we ought to go and see Ottilie. Otherwise we’re going to run out of time and you’ll be dashing in and dashing out again.’
‘It will be nice to see her and the baby…’ Cherie stood up too. ‘Nice to take my mind off everything.
‘I hope she likes these chocolates,’ Cherie said as they began to walk, and Zoe was glad to see her mind going to other subjects than her ex-husband’s upcoming wedding.
‘They didn’t have much of a choice in that shop, did they?
If I’d known the baby had arrived, I’d have gone out to get a little romper or something. I wish you’d told me before.’
‘Sorry. I will say, though, the selection in the shop might be small, but it’s top notch because Magnus and Geoff are very particular about what they stock. And everyone will have bought things for the baby. It’s nice to give Ottilie something she can enjoy – she’s earned a treat, after all.’
‘I suppose you’re right. I hope she’s not trying to lose her baby weight.’
‘This is Ottilie,’ Zoe said with a smile as they passed through the gates to the churchyard and back onto the lane. ‘When has she ever worried about things like that?’
‘Does she still talk about that husband who died?’
‘Josh? Of course she does, but she’s with Heath now, so…’ Zoe wasn’t quite sure where this new conversation was going, and she hoped it wouldn’t circle back to negative opinions on marriage and relationships in general.
‘Everyone seems to be on their second go these days.’
‘In Ottilie’s case, she didn’t really have a choice, did she? If Josh hadn’t died, I suppose they’d still be together.’
‘They’d be in the minority. I mean, look at you and Ritchie. Married one minute, done the next, and you with Alex.’
‘I don’t think it was quite that cut-and-dried, Mum. There were complicating factors with me and Ritchie too, if you recall.’
‘But the fact remains…’
‘Haven’t you thought about dating again?’
Cherie turned to Zoe with a withering look. ‘Me? Where would I meet anyone at my age?’
‘Come on, Mum, you’re not that old!’
‘It’s different for men than it is for women. You’re not old enough to learn it yet. Men are seen as distinguished in later life – everyone still wants them. Women are considered to be on the scrapheap after fifty.’
‘That’s comforting to know. Something to look forward to, eh?’
‘I can only speak as I find. No point in sugar-coating it, is there?’
Zoe stopped, mid-stride, and a second later her mum did the same and turned to her with a quizzical look.
‘Are you sure you’re up to this visit with Ottilie?
’ she asked. ‘Because if the news about Dad’s wedding has shaken you, nobody would blame you for wanting to put it off until you feel more yourself. ’
‘I do want to see her, very much. If I let your dad’s actions ruin every plan I ever make, I might as well give in now and move into an old folks’ home.’