Chapter 12 #3
This time, for once, Magnus looked at Geoff and seemed to get the brief too. ‘That is also very kind of you, but we wouldn’t want to…’ He glanced at Geoff again. ‘What’s the word I’m looking for?’
‘Impose?’ Geoff said.
‘Yes, that one.’
‘Besides,’ Geoff said, ‘it seems you have a lot to talk about, and we have an anniversary to celebrate. We have a table booked with some special trimmings… perhaps next time.’
‘Your anniversary?’ Zoe smiled, grateful for the signpost to a new topic of conversation. ‘You never said! Congratulations!’
Everyone at the table wished them well, and after a few minutes of polite enquiry about how long they’d been together and what they were doing to celebrate, Magnus and Geoff went to their own table.
Chantal let out a sigh. ‘Everyone we’ve met in Thimblebury is so nice!’
‘Mostly,’ Alex said wryly.
‘Don’t tease,’ Zoe replied, digging him playfully with her elbow. ‘Everyone wants to be your friend. Only sometimes they want to be your friend a bit too much!’
‘I’ve never been anywhere so welcoming,’ Chantal said. She looked at Nigel. ‘And they didn’t even mention that you’re older than me when we said we were getting married.’
‘It makes a change,’ he agreed.
Zoe decided not to say that Magnus and Geoff had likely been thinking about it and were probably now discussing it at their table.
‘It’s no wonder you’re so happy here,’ Chantal said to Zoe.
‘I’m glad to see you settled,’ Nigel said with such tenderness that Zoe almost had to do a double take.
She’d always had the feeling he’d been too wrapped up in his own relationship upheavals to notice hers.
When she’d been going through the divorce from Ritchie, her dad had barely commented on any of it.
But perhaps that had never been true. Perhaps he’d only kept away from that part of her life out of respect, or because he’d been trying not to complicate things or offer opinions that weren’t helpful.
‘Thanks, Dad,’ she said.
It was a strange, significant moment, and yet they were hardly given time to recognise it because the waiter arrived at their table to take orders for drinks.
By the time that was done, the conversation had taken a lighter tone – if plans for the most awkward wedding Zoe would ever go to could be considered light.
But they at least managed to stick to the venue details, last-minute catering quests and the dress Chantal couldn’t wait for everyone to see.
Lunch arrived, and then everyone marvelled at how delicious it was. As they ate, they discussed Alex’s plans for the camping pods, how Billie was doing now she was so close to her due date, and more about Zoe’s friends and neighbours in the village.
As they waited for someone to bring the dessert menu to their table, Chantal got up.
‘I have to pop to the little girls’ room.’
‘I’ll come with you,’ Zoe said.
‘Oh, I’ll be all right,’ Chantal began, but Zoe smiled.
‘Not to look after you, but because I want to go!’
Chantal let out a light laugh. ‘Oh, I see! I’m so used to your dad thinking I can’t do anything by myself these days…’
‘Don’t worry,’ Zoe replied. ‘I’ll have a word and put him right when we come back…’
She could hear her dad’s laughter as they left the table. She hoped it wouldn’t be too difficult for him and Alex to maintain an easy conversation, but they’d done well so far, and she was proud of how much effort Alex was putting in.
Chantal linked arms with Zoe as they began to walk. The action took her by surprise, but what was even more shocking was how she didn’t mind. In fact, it felt right.
‘I know you didn’t fancy being a bridesmaid,’ Chantal began after a pause, ‘and I get it. I suppose it was a bit weird, me asking you, but you would have looked so cute in the dress I picked out.’
‘I did appreciate you asking,’ Zoe replied. ‘It was just… well, you know, it felt a bit like taking sides.’
‘Hmm. Your mum hates me, and you didn’t want to upset her. I get that too.’
‘Hate is a strong word,’ Zoe said carefully, feeling torn and guilty all over again.
‘It’s all right. I’d hate anyone who tried to take Nigel from me too. I’d fight her, probably go down for GBH.’ Zoe let out a shocked laugh, and then Chantal giggled. ‘I know I don’t look like much of a fighter.’
‘It’s not that. It’s…’ Zoe realised that what was more shocking than Chantal’s threats towards some imaginary antagonist was the obvious depth of her feelings for Nigel.
It shouldn’t have been, because she was beginning to see what strength they’d both had to find to be together in the face of so much disapproval from every quarter, and yet it had still caught Zoe unawares.
She pushed open the door to the toilets, and they both headed to neighbouring cubicles.
Chantal’s voice came from the other side of the divide. ‘I know what you were thinking… when you asked how pregnant I was and why your dad didn’t know.’
‘I wasn’t thinking anything. I suppose you wanted to be sure.’
‘I know that’s not really what you think. You’re wondering why I kept it from him. The truth was… well, I thought he wouldn’t love me if I was pregnant.’
Zoe was glad Chantal couldn’t see her face.
The truth was, she could see why Chantal would feel that way.
It showed more awareness of the reality of her relationship with the much older Nigel than Zoe realised she was capable of.
Almost everyone – and, to her shame, Zoe included – assumed that Chantal was Nigel’s mid-life crisis, a bit of fun to take his mind off his marriage break-up.
At first anyway. Zoe had seen it differently as time had passed, but she was sure others hadn’t had their opinions changed in quite the same way, especially her mum.
‘I don’t think anything would make that happen from what I’ve seen. He adores you.’
‘I know, but what about when I’m massive and worn out from having a baby?’
Zoe had to let out a tiny laugh, despite herself. ‘Chantal, he’ll adore you, no matter what. Look how excited he is for the baby.’
‘I know that now, but I couldn’t be sure at first, and so I was afraid to tell him. Of course, I had to eventually. You won’t tell him I knew all along, will you?’
‘Mum’s the word, if you’ll excuse the pun. Your secret is safe with me, but I think you ought to trust his feelings more. After all, you’re getting married in a couple of weeks.’
‘Yes, I am. I’m so happy about that. I’m glad you’re coming to the wedding.’
‘It was never in doubt, was it?’
‘I don’t know, but a lot of people we invited have said no. I don’t think they approve.’
Zoe rested her elbows on her knees, thoughtful. She suspected that might be true, though she felt it uncharitable. At the end of the day, they were just a couple in love who were entitled to get married if they wanted to.
‘I was scared you might still hate me,’ Chantal said into the silence. ‘I think you did at first.’
‘I didn’t hate you. I was upset that my parents had split.’
‘Everyone thinks that was my fault.’
‘I don’t think everyone does. And it wasn’t, not really.
Dad was looking for a way out anyway, whether he knew it or not.
I don’t mean you were just a way out,’ she added quickly.
‘I mean, he’d have left sooner or later.
In a lot of ways, you saved him, because if he hadn’t got with you after he left Mum, I think he’d have been lonely.
’ Zoe took a moment to reflect on her own words.
She’d never viewed it that way until now.
‘Do you think so?’
‘I do. He’d have maybe gone to live somewhere on his own, played a bit of golf with some buddies from time to time. Gone to work. You know, a boring old life. But he met you instead. I’m glad he’s not on his own.’
‘Do you think your mum will meet someone eventually?’
Zoe blew out a breath. ‘It’s hard to say. I don’t think she’s ready yet. I’d like to think she will be one day. Maybe after your wedding.’
‘You mean she still thinks we’ll call it off and your dad will go back to her?’
‘Maybe a little bit. Sorry… you probably don’t need to hear that.’
‘It’s all right. Better to know.’ There was a brief silence before Chantal spoke again. ‘Zoe…’
‘Yes?’
‘I’m glad you don’t hate me. When we first met, I think you did, even if you’re saying now you didn’t.
I think you didn’t even realise yourself that you did.
I mean, it’s all right, I understand. I just hoped I could win you over because I thought you were cool and I wanted us to be friends for your dad’s sake.
Not just because of your dad, though. I really like you, even though you make me feel…
’ Chantal let out a sigh and then stopped talking.
‘What?’ Zoe asked. When there was still no reply, she rapped on the wall. ‘Come on! We’ve just established we’re mates now, so what were you going to say? It can’t be that bad, can it?’
‘Rubbish.’
‘What? How? I never meant to—’
‘I don’t mean rubbish like you were horrible, but rubbish like I’m not enough. I work in an office, filing stuff for an insurance company, and you’re an actual midwife. You’re clever and you help people and you always look like you have everything under control.’
‘I’m a divorcee, don’t forget. My marriage fell apart just like my parents’. As for my job, it’s a job I love, but it’s just a job, just like yours.’
‘I forgot about your marriage. I didn’t really know you much back when it happened. But you’ve got your Alex now. He’s coming to the wedding? He’s invited, of course.’
‘Yes, thanks for including him.’
‘He’s good to you? He seems lovely.’
Zoe smiled and leaned her head on the wall of the cubicle.
‘Yes… he’s amazing. He’s like the person I’ve been searching for my whole life.
I never felt this about Ritchie… what does that say about me?
I married a man who didn’t make me feel what I should have felt, and I didn’t even see that it was a problem. ’