CHAPTER NINE
NINE
I’m watching from the sidelines of my own mind, and surprise, surprise, it’s a disaster …
– from ‘Observer’, by These Exiles
I WAS TRYING. I really was trying to be better. But I had told Derek I didn’t want to wear a suit.
I hate formalwear.
‘It’s the dress code, Patrick, what do you want me to say?’ Derek’s voice rang through on loudspeaker. ‘Just wear it. You look great in suits, and we need to get some good shots of you tonight.’
I’d be more inclined to believe him if it wasn’t his job to keep me sweet.
My eyes flicked over the outfit. It was … fashionable. Probably hot off some runway. As I picked the jacket up, I wondered what Jessy would think about it.
Damnit. I was doing that a lot recently. Wondering about Jessy – what she thought of me.
Stupid.
‘You don’t want to embarrass Jessy, do you?’ Derek’s voice said slyly. Like he knew something I didn’t.
My jaw tightened. ‘I don’t know what you mean.’
‘Word on the street is that the two of you were getting pretty cosy on that chat show.’ I could hear the glee dripping from his voice.
Cosy. That was one word for it.
Yeah, I’d checked in on Jessy throughout the ad breaks, and someone in the audience must have snapped some photos of us, because pictures had been circling the internet since. The shots painted a certain narrative – one that Derek and the label were all too happy about.
What Jessy thought about it, I didn’t know. I hadn’t asked.
‘No one says “word on the street” any more, Derek,’ I replied smartly. I was not going to be discussing whatever pseudo-truce Jessy and I had fallen into with my publicist. It would just encourage him to trot us out in front of the world some more.
‘Anyway –’ Derek’s voice was smug – ‘I’ve seen the dress Jessy is going to be wearing and I’m telling you, wear the suit.’
I tried – and failed – not to imagine how she’d be dressed tonight. The sexy dress she had worn on our first date came to mind, followed by that polka dot sundress. And the sky-blue sundress with ribbony sleeve things. Shit, everything she wore did all sorts of things to my body.
‘Just remember to behave tonight, OK?’ Derek’s voice came through the speaker. ‘And try not to piss her off, yeah? We are finally getting some positive traction now the two of you don’t look like you hate each other.’
I focused my gaze back on my phone. ‘Yeah.’
‘I mean it, Patrick. It shouldn’t be difficult, dating a beautiful woman –’
‘Fake dating –’
The snort told me everything I needed to know. ‘Everything is fake in this industry, kid. Just be polite, be nice, smile, kiss her on the cheek and tell her she’s beautiful. It shouldn’t be this hard to woo her – she already had a crush on you –’
‘What?’ My fingers tightened around the phone.
‘Oh, there’s my six o’clock – remember, show me the love, Patrick! I’ll be watching online.’ The call ended and my phone returned to my lock screen.
She already had a crush on you.
What the hell did that mean?
I’D ONLY HAD AN hour to shower, dress in Derek’s suit and get across town to where this event was being held – some sort of rooftop on a fancy hotel.
When the car finally rolled to a stop outside the venue, I thanked my driver and took a deep breath before opening the door.
I’d learnt to look down at the ground when I first stepped out of a car.
Not just because I didn’t want to trip and make an arse of myself – but because it prevented me from being blinded.
‘Patrick! Patrick, over here!’ The shouts of my name never grew familiar.
‘And here is Patrick Tetlow, lead singer-songwriter for These Exiles, wearing a Crespianella suit –’
I walked past, paying them all no mind. Erika, Derek’s assistant – and my babysitter for tonight – met me at the doors. ‘Your date is just pulling up now, Patrick.’
I nodded distractedly. ‘Right. Thank you.’ I turned to see another luxury car where mine had been just a short moment ago.
As its occupant opened the door and stepped out, all rational thought exited my brain.
Jessy.
She was a vision. I could do nothing but behold her.
She was wearing a slip dress – all silk and spangled straps – in a dark forest green that complimented her so well it was like the colour had been made solely for her.
Her hair had been pinned up in some sort of fancy style, all curls threatening to drip down her back, and as she turned to thank her driver –
She definitely wasn’t wearing underwear.
I swallowed hard, my whole body stiffening at the shift of her dress.
Jessy turned and, from the sidelines, I saw the mild panic in her eyes as she was faced with all the cameras. I knew that feeling.
When she stepped over to me, it was all I could do not to pull her into my arms and make a real scene.
God, her perfume – what was that? I had to stifle the sudden urge to bury my nose into her hair.
When was the last time a woman had affected me like this?
It was hard to think of anyone else, with Jessy so perfectly snug at my side.
‘Hi.’ Jessy’s smile, small as it was, was already fading.
All I could do was stare.
‘You … you look …’ Fuck. I was supposed to be a lyricist. I literally wrote pretty things for a living.
‘Shall we go in?’ Jessy asked breezily, not waiting for me to collect myself as she grabbed my hand and pulled me forward.
‘Just a second.’ Erika appeared from beside me. ‘We just need the two of you to take some pictures together and then we’ll get you indoors.’
Of course they did. I don’t know why I expected anything else.
The next few minutes were excruciating. Holding hands, smiling, laughing for the cameras, when all I really wanted to do was drag Jessy to some dark corner and trace my hands up her thighs.
This was going to be a long night.
‘Smile! Smile, Patrick!’
Was I not smiling?
Finally, Erika gave us the go-ahead and I dropped my arm from around Jessy’s shoulder. The lack of the physical connection was a wrench, an absence I couldn’t stand. Without looking, I grabbed her hand. If she asked, I would say it was in case any paps were still watching.
But she didn’t.
The hotel lobby was busy, but one look at us – look at me – and a member of staff led us to the rooftop.
The sky gardens were beautiful, all flowers and strings of lights.
Servers wandered around offering champagne, and some sort of light jazz was playing through speakers I couldn’t see.
There were people here I recognized – some I had worked with, others I’d schmoozed with, and the rest were from the upper echelons of celebrity.
Beside me, I felt Jessy press closer. I looked down and, seeing her deer-in-headlights expression, I led her over to a friendly face.
And not solely for her benefit.
‘Vince – thank God there’s real people here.’ I grinned, shaking the hand of a man wearing large dark-rimmed glasses. ‘Dogs still misbehaving?’
‘I swore I wouldn’t get another puppy.’ Vince chuckled. ‘So I’ve got two!’
I shook my head with a grin and turned back to Jessy. ‘Jessy, this is Vince. He’s done the cover artwork for most of our albums and some of our posters too.’ I moved my hand to the centre of her back, keeping my touch light. ‘Vince, this is … my girlfriend, Jessy.’
‘It’s lovely to meet you.’ Her voice fluttered softly in the air, and I couldn’t help but lean in.
Who could help it? My girlfriend Jessy. Was that the first time I’d introduced her that way?
‘You too, Jessy. And let me just say, you look gorgeous tonight. Practically showing up pretty boy here, and that’s not easy.’
Jealousy shot through me as Vince fired compliments her way.
As the two branched into more conversation, that ugly little green-eyed monster continued to rear its head.
It was so … easy for him. Did he notice the way her head tilted back as she laughed?
Could he hear the soft lilt in her voice?
Or was I the only one who paid that kind of attention?
It was almost an hour later when Vince finally made his excuses and went off to sweet-talk some exec. The tension pinching the back of my neck loosened with every step he took away from us.
I was being ridiculous. Vince was a friend. He would never look twice at a girl I was dating. But memories of Celine, and her betrayal, haunted me.
I would not go through that humiliation again.
As I watched him disappear into the crowd, Jessy stepped away, hailing a waiter.
She turned back to me, champagne flute in hand, and paused at my expression. ‘What?’
‘He was right, by the way.’
She tilted her head, flute still dangling delicately between her fingers. God, she was just so cute.
My throat was dry. ‘You do look beautiful. I should have told you sooner.’ But I was too blown away to string a sentence together.
Jessy’s smile was back, but it was far too wise. ‘You know, for a Grammy-nominated songwriter, you’re not the smoothest of guys.’
She had me there.
‘Look, Patrick. I know this is just another contractually obligated date. But this is one of the coolest things that has ever happened to me. So let’s just try and enjoy the night, yeah?’
I nodded. It was the least she deserved. ‘Jessy Donovan, I promise to give you the time of your life tonight.’ I winked. My smile grew wider when the laugh I’d been angling for burst free from her.
‘Charmer. So, what the hell are we doing here?’ She hooked her arm through mine.
When I shrugged, the suit felt far too tight. ‘Album launch.’
‘Not for These Exiles, though? There’s been no rumours of a new album – besides, I would have thought the rest of the band would be here,’ Jessy said with a light laugh that made my whole body stiffen, just for a second. ‘How are they, anyway?’
‘Fine,’ I lied. They were most definitely not. Our group chat was filled with nothing but bitching about their penance-making – though Ben was a little quieter than usual. ‘They’re fine,’ I repeated.
I wasn’t sure if I’d convinced Jessy. Her expression certainly didn’t look like I had, but she moved on.