CHAPTER ELEVEN
ELEVEN
Can you be alone in a crowd? I know the answer but it’s not the truth, lights swirling as I smile, my teeth bared, ready for a fight …
– from ‘Crowd’, by These Exiles
THIS WAS A MISTAKE.
Well, not a mistake. But after a whole twenty-four hours of not seeing Jessy after a mildly successful lunch spent mostly trying not to make her smile, I’d cracked and gone against Derek’s suggestion.
‘Twice a week is more than enough – you don’t have to see her again for three days, remember. Besides, it will start to look fake if she goes everywhere with you.’ He’d had a point.
But three days was too long.
‘Your next date is the Soundscape Awards after-party,’ Derek had explained to me that morning. ‘And this time, maybe don’t arrive late? You know, try not to make me look incompetent?’
I should have felt bad, but I didn’t. Still, I usually tried to avoid making Derek’s job harder. ‘Sorry, man, we … we didn’t –’
‘Right, tonight your life is your own. I managed to get you out of Lily Ross’s perfume launch, and don’t think I won’t be cashing in on that favour.’
Oh, I was sure he would.
‘Just try and stay out of any trouble, understand?’
I did.
For the first time in – I don’t know how long – I had a night all to myself. And I knew exactly how I wanted to spend it. I just had to hope that Jessy was free.
Paddy
What are you up to tonight?
Jessy
Nothing – well, hanging with Laura and Anna. Why?
Paddy
Fancy a night out?
‘OK, IS THAT –’
‘Yes,’ I said, enjoying watching Jessy stare open-mouthed as some A-list actor passed us on the way to the dancefloor on the other side of the room. ‘General rule at these kinds of things – if you think it’s a celebrity you recognize, the answer is yes.’
‘And that’s – Jesus, I had no idea there would be so many famous people here tonight,’ Jessy said, her eyes wide. ‘Isn’t this amazing?’
Amazing? No. This was pretty normal for me. But I was enjoying watching her take it all in. This type of event had long stopped being interesting for me, but seeing it through Jessy’s eyes … it somehow brought back some of that lost glamour.
I thought about introducing her to one of the singers who had opened for These Exiles on the European leg of our tour, but I was swiftly interrupted.
‘We’re going to dance,’ Jessy’s twin, Laura, said firmly, her face weirdly different without her glasses. ‘Anna?’
‘You know I will.’ Anna grinned, jamming a gold clip into her hair. She’d taken her braids out, her hair styled in a fluffy ’fro. ‘Thank you so much for getting us in here, Patrick, this is amazing.’
Well, Jessy had asked, and I was hardly going to say no. Her sister and friend were … were pretty cool. And they seemed to be having a great time.
But I kind of hated that I didn’t have Jessy to myself.
I watched as Anna whispered something into Laura’s ear, who giggled before presumably repeating it in Jessy’s ear … who went scarlet.
Interesting. The same thing had been happening all night – quiet mutters that often left the trio breaking out in giggles.
‘Go and dance, you dicks,’ Jessy yelled over the loud music, grinning fondly as her friends departed for the moment.
Thank God.
‘Right,’ I said, suddenly unsure of myself now the two of us were alone, but not quite sure what to do about it. ‘Another drink?’
‘I’ll have another mhhahhghh.’ Jessy grinned, the gold glittery streaks across her cheek utterly distracting.
‘What?’ I leaned closer – to hear her better. Not because I’d been dying for an excuse to be near her all night.
‘Marghhhmmth!’
The heavy beat of the club I’d suggested made it almost impossible to hear, but there weren’t that many drinks that started with marg.
Had to be a margarita.
I gave her a thumbs up and rose from the corner booth I’d managed to snag – thank you, Derek, for calling ahead, I guess – to head to the bar, steps a little unbalanced thanks to the two large gin and tonics I’d already had.
The Forty Six wasn’t a place that you could just turn up to. A haunt for celebrities only – usually your publicist had to make the call, and even then you still might not get in. That was how exclusive it was.
In a way, it was a relief to come here. No fans, no selfies, no stealthy photos taken over someone’s shoulder – just people.
Rach was behind the bar, as always. She grinned at me, tilting her head to where Jessy still sat, waiting for me. ‘She’s hot.’
‘What?’ I blinked as I leaned heavily against the bar.
‘Your date.’ Rach gestured with a lemon before she crushed it into Jessy’s drink. ‘She’s hot. You never bring girls here.’
I glanced over my shoulder, as though I needed to confirm for myself.
When, really, I’d thought she was hot the moment I’d swiped on her profile.
And when she’d pressed a kiss against my cheek.
And especially when she’d thrown herself into my arms and kissed me senseless.
And now – now she was being chatted up by some guy.
Of course, the downside of bringing your hot date – who you weren’t really dating – to a bar like this was … some other famous, model-like man would make their move.
Perfect. The plans I’d had for us this evening were going down the drain.
‘Margarita, and a gin and tonic,’ Rach said, her grin far too knowing. ‘On the house.’
Well, that was something. The price of drinks here normally made my eyes water.
Resisting the urge to rush back to Jessy’s side and flex my arms in front of her new admirer, I carefully wove my way through the crowd. My eyes zeroed in on Jessy, watching out for any signs of discomfort from her. But she looked like she was enjoying herself.
Great.
‘Hey,’ I said as I finally reached our booth. ‘Here’s your drink.’ I placed it on the table, before sliding in next to her and draping an arm around her shoulders. If I made sure to press the length of my side against hers, well no one could blame me.
Jessy grinned as she looked up at me, seemingly unconcerned by the presence of the stranger. ‘Thanks!’
‘Sorry, pal, I didn’t get one for you,’ I said, bolstered by the genuine happiness of having Jessy sitting here with me. I knew I was being a possessive arse, but I couldn’t help it. My hackles were up.
The guy only grinned. Up close, I could admit he was handsome, but I couldn’t really see Jessy going for the clean, preppy look. ‘No worries, I’ll get my own. Thanks, Jessy – you have a good night.’
His gaze flicked over me, and not in the aggressive, put-out manner that I’d expected. No, his expression had quite a different flavour.
‘Oh,’ I said quietly as he slipped out of our corner booth and over to another group, who welcomed him back with cheers.
Jessy’s giggle was something I didn’t just hear but felt, my hand gently caressing her shoulder like it had a mind of its own. ‘Yeah.’
‘I didn’t realize –’ I was an idiot.
Jessy picked up her drink and took out the freshly squeezed lemon before speaking. ‘He wanted to know the brand of my body glitter.’
Do not think about body glitter. Do not think about all the delicious places it could be –
‘Right,’ I said. Fuck. I was an idiot.
Jessy’s snort of laughter was somehow warming. ‘You OK there, champ?’
‘Not my finest moment,’ I said, trying to see the funny side of it.
I didn’t have to try very hard. Nestled up here with Jessy felt …
good. The slow buzz of alcohol wasn’t the only thing making my body tingle.
She hadn’t pulled away, hadn’t told me I was being inappropriate – she was happily sipping her drink, her shoulder nestled into my chest, her head leaning against my neck …
Celine had never allowed anything like this, not in public – even when we’d slept together, it had to be a secret. I’d thought it was because she hadn’t wanted the world to intrude on our love.
Big mistake.
‘God, I could do with some air.’
I blinked and glanced down – suddenly conscious that Jessy’s lips were far too close for comfort. Or not close enough. Memories of the kiss we’d shared flickered across my eyes.
A kiss I’d struggled to stop thinking of.
Jessy looked at me ruefully. ‘Do you mind if we head outside for a bit?’
Outside?
That was a tough one. Outside was quieter, so we could actually talk. It was more private, fewer eyes, so we might be able to …
On the other hand, I was really enjoying the snuggled-up comfort we were enjoying right here.
Jessy’s smile faded a little. ‘Besides, we … we’ve had a lot to drink, and we could do with some sobering up. Stumbling out of here probably won’t do anything for that reputation of yours.’
My frown furrowed. What was she talking ab–
Oh, shit. The DUI.
Jessy must think –
I glanced down at my gin and tonic. I mean, I liked a drink. Who didn’t like a drink? Yeah, it was my third, and I could already feel the buzz tingling around the base of my skull – occupational hazard of not eating dinner. I’d been so looking forward to seeing Jessy that I’d kind of … forgotten.
I tried to think back to whether I’d had a drink on each of our dates and was pretty certain I had. Not before the abseiling, obviously, but the lunch afterwards had been pretty boozy.
She probably thought I had a problem.
Which should have been easy to sort out – but how the hell was I supposed to reassure her I wasn’t an alcoholic without giving it up that it had been Ben behind the wheel that night?
If I couldn’t tell her the actual truth, then I could at least take her outside for some of that fresh air.
I pushed the gin and tonic away from me. ‘Let’s head out.’
I knew I’d made the right decision when a smile broke out on her face.
Fuck. She’s gorgeous. Like, unbelievably so.
It wasn’t the first time I’d thought it, but it hit me hard, all the same. Maybe the fresh air would be good for me too.
It was so much quieter, once we stepped outside. In fact, there was no one else out here.
‘You don’t mind, do you, Patrick?’ Jessy stepped over to the balcony, breathed in deeply, then looked up at me expectantly over her shoulder.