CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR #2
I could have tried to leave, but what was the point? I was done attempting to resist this man. Done pretending I didn’t miss him terribly.
‘I am so sorry,’ Patrick said quietly, closing the door and leaning against it. ‘I didn’t know you were going to be here tonight.’
My heart sank, but only a little. What I’d seen out there, in his eyes, was enough to convince me Patrick still cared for me. ‘And did that make it … what you sang … would me not being here have made it less true?’
Patrick shook his head slowly, a flicker of vulnerability in his eyes. ‘No. No, it was all true. It’s all true, Jessy. God, I am so, so sorry for how I behaved. For how I spoke about your mum …’
I swallowed. ‘I won’t lie, you hurt me. Like, really bad.’
‘I’m sorry.’
I could tell he was – that hurting me had hurt him just as keenly. ‘Laura and Anna are really pissed at you.’
Patrick winced. ‘Fair. They did warn me never to hurt you. Look, there’s – there’s no excuse for what I said.’
God, there was nothing I wanted more than to launch myself into his arms – but I couldn’t do it. Not yet. I needed to know he was more than just sorry. I needed to be sure he would never treat me like that again.
I was worth that.
Patrick took a deep, steadying breath. ‘I totally understand if you don’t want to – I mean, if this is over.
If you’ve moved on. You do deserve better, and if you choose to end this for good …
I mean, I get it. But you should know, if there’s even a tiny part of you that wants to try again … to make this work, make this real –’
My heart was thundering, my fingertips pressed into my palms, and I was so desperate for him to keep going.
I wanted him. But I had to protect myself.
Patrick’s smile was steady, his voice certain. ‘I’ll never behave like that again. I’ll never turn on you like that. I’ll always ask for your side of the story – because I trust you, Jessy.’
And that was all I needed to hear.
I closed the distance between us in seconds, kissing him and almost whimpering in relief.
This was where I belonged: in Patrick’s arms. I never wanted to be parted from him again.
Patrick clung on to me just as tightly, as though he was scared I would disappear if he wasn’t holding me.
The kiss deepened: pleasure poured through me, sparks of bliss tingling across my body, and I had the vague thought that – if we weren’t careful – Anna’s borrowed outfit was going to live up to its name as ‘the fuck-me dress’.
Patrick broke the kiss. ‘I’m so sorry, I’m such a dick –’
‘You are a dick,’ I said with a nod. His face was an absolute picture, and I had to laugh. ‘What, you think I was going to disagree? Nope, you’ve still got some making up to do before I let you forget it.’
I wouldn’t really hold it over him. But he didn’t need to know that.
Patrick let out a breathy laugh. ‘I was a complete jerk,’ he said fiercely, not letting go of me as he stared deep into my eyes. ‘Just because I’ve been messed about in the past, that doesn’t mean – you are you. You’re Jessy. You’re not anyone else.’
A smile slid across my face. ‘Yeah, I know.’
‘But it took me too long to get it, and I’m sorry,’ Patrick said earnestly, his eyes bright.
I knew that. He’d told me numerous times already. But more importantly, I could see it in his face, the genuine regret.
‘I know.’ I smiled simply.
Patrick kissed me hard, and I moaned. My fingers itched to pull his hair and take the kiss deeper, but I tried to remember we were in public – in a room anyone could walk into at any moment.
‘And I won’t interfere,’ Patrick said quietly, nuzzling at my collarbone with his nose. ‘With your job – your work, I mean – you can meet a thousand guys, or girls, for whatever –’
‘You don’t need to worry about that,’ I interrupted, trying not to laugh. ‘Patrick –’
‘I mean it, I trust you. I won’t get in the way of you doing what your boss needs you to do,’ he said resolutely, his hands gently sliding down my waist to cup my bum.
My grin was wide as I said, ‘I think you’ll find that pretty unnecessary. Maria is a relatively easy-going boss.’
There it was – the frown of absolutely adorable confusion. ‘I thought – Karun –’
‘Yeah, so I got fired from that place,’ I said lightly.
The look of horror that tracked across Patrick’s face was almost exactly the same one I’d seen on my sister’s. ‘What? Are you OK?’
Warmth suffused me.
Not ‘What did you do?’ or ‘What are you going to do?’ or even ‘How much money do you have saved?’
Nothing practical.
Just a check to see if I was OK.
I love this man.
‘I’m fine. Like, weirdly fine,’ I said with another laugh that eased the concern on his face. ‘I thought I’d be devastated, but … yeah. It’s OK.’
Patrick’s hazel eyes still had a tinge of worry to them. ‘And you’re going to be OK? With rent and everything?’
‘I’ve got a temp job at Maria’s,’ I said softly. ‘All that coffee knowledge is finally coming in handy.’
He smiled then, a true smile that warmed me up, inside and out. But when Patrick spoke again, his voice was … not nervous, but something like it. ‘Look … neither of us expected to meet this way, or date this way –’
‘We certainly did not.’ I grinned, my stomach lurching. ‘Famous celebrity meets failed finance girly. Not a romance you’d expect, am I right?’
‘Jessy,’ he chided gently.
‘Patrick.’ I laughed.
He smiled at me indulgently, before continuing. ‘The contract is up. We’ve fulfilled all the requirements.’
A knot twisted in my throat.
It was. I mean, we had.
‘And now it’s up, I want to take you out. You and me.’ Patrick lifted a hand to caress my cheek. ‘Just us. Not because of a contract, or an app, or a publicity stunt. I don’t want to tell Derek –’
‘Or Laura,’ I said. ‘Or Anna.’
Though how I was going to keep it from them, I didn’t know.
‘Or anyone.’ He nodded. ‘Because I’m pretty sure I really, really like you. Like, I’m falling in love with you.’
I laughed, equally shocked and delighted, as I stared up into the handsome face, all chiselled jaw and honesty. ‘Yeah?’
‘Yep. Before I even knew it, I was in too deep,’ Patrick confessed with a rueful look.
I arched an eyebrow. ‘You know, that’s not a bad lyric.’
‘Jessy, I’m pouring my heart out here –’
‘Good. Because …’ I took a deep breath. ‘Because I have a horrible feeling that I really, really like you too, Patrick. Maybe even love you too – and I want to date you. For reals.’
His laughter shook through me. ‘For reals?’
‘You know what I mean!’
Our laughter filled the small dressing room, and I knew I never wanted to leave it. In here, we were just Patrick and Jessy. It was out there, in the outside world, that we always needed to be something else. Something bigger.
‘So …’ Patrick looked at me. ‘For two people who have been famously in love, it starts all over again. What are we going to do now?’
I shrugged. ‘I’m not sure. I want to find some purpose for myself. Something that means something. And I don’t know what that looks like yet,’ I admitted, smiling up at the man I loved. ‘But I know I want to do it with you.’
His smile warmed every inch of me. ‘Well, while you think about working all that out … what about a date? Will Maria let you have the time off work?’
Time off work? What on earth was he talking about? ‘Why would Maria care what I do in the evenings – the cafe closes at four.’
I should have guessed he had something up his sleeve by the teasing grin.
‘Well,’ Patrick said coyly, ‘the kind of place I had in mind would mean taking a little more than an evening off.’ He paused, keeping me in suspense.
I dug my elbow into him and he immediately surrendered.
‘OK, OK! I was thinking, if you wanted to … you might come with us.’
I blinked, confused. ‘Us?’
His nod was slow, his gaze curious. ‘On the Southeast Asia tour.’
All the breath was pulled from my body. ‘Wh-What?’
No. No, he can’t have said that. He doesn’t mean –
‘Like I said, you might need a little more than an evening off for that,’ Patrick teased, kissing me again. ‘But if you don’t want to –’
‘Don’t want to? Don’t want to what, exactly? Travel the world with an internationally famous band? Or travel with my super-hot, talented boyfriend?’ I said with one eyebrow raised.
A flash of joy flickered over Patrick’s face before he leaned in for another passionate kiss.
Hmm. I could get used to this.
As the kiss got more and more heated, Patrick’s hands travelled from my waist down to the hem of my dress, dragging it up.
‘Patrick!’
‘What? You don’t want –’
‘I didn’t say that,’ I said, cheeks burning. ‘But what if someone –’
‘No one is going to come in here. This is your life now.’ Patrick’s gorgeous expression was far too wicked. ‘Backstage kisses, travelling the world, coffee brought to you in bed – and I’ll do anything you want, Jessy. Anything.’
Anything?
I tried not to smile. ‘Anything?’
He pressed a kiss on my collarbone. ‘Anything.’
‘In that case, I would like a – a private rendition of my song,’ I gasped, just about managing to speak as his kisses burned across my skin.
Patrick chuckled as he nuzzled my neck. ‘Is that all?’
‘Oh, and you should be naked while you sing it,’ I managed, clinging on to his shoulders as my knees trembled with building need.
‘Will you be naked too?’ he asked, lifting his head to meet my gaze.
I swallowed a moan and raised a teasing eyebrow instead. ‘Maybe.’
Patrick’s grin warmed me to my toes. ‘Well, what are we waiting for?’
God, I really hope no one walks in on us …