8. Oliver
Oliver
It was our last night together. And somehow, knowing this was the end made it even harder. I didn’t want to say goodbye.
For the last two weeks, I spent every moment I could with Tessa.
After work each day, I’d drive back to Matthew and Noelle’s house and we’d cook dinner together.
Some nights we’d watch a movie, laughing and eating popcorn, her favorite snack.
We’d take Snowball out on her daily walk, the white fluffy samoyed always happy to be outside.
It was constantly drizzling—welcome to Portland in October—but we didn’t let that stop us.
And then we’d go to bed, and I’d strip her bare, sliding inside of her and fucking her until we both fell asleep, exhausted. It felt so damn right falling asleep with her in my arms. Seeing her first thing every morning when I woke up. Making her breakfast and kissing her goodbye each morning.
What would it be like if this what life was like, every day? It was a level of domestic bliss I couldn’t even imagine, but this had come pretty close.
And yet tomorrow, it would all end.
For our last night, after eating dinner, we’d picked a movie to watch, but I was hardly paying attention, my entire being too intent on Tessa to care what was happening on the screen.
“What’s your favorite thing you’ve acted in?” I asked, tracing a finger over her shoulder blade in slow circles.
She rolled over on the couch, turning to look at me. “Hmm. I don’t know, honestly. It’s hard to pick.”
“There has to be one,” I insisted.
Tessa bit her lip. “Honestly, I think the first movie I ever starred in? It was a small, budget indie film, but every time I look back on it I just feel like that was when I was like, wow. I’m really doing this.”
I’d watched it more than once, and I loved seeing her in it. “That one was great.”
“You watched it?”
I shrugged, trying to play it cool. “Sure. I’ve watched everything you’ve been in, Hollywood.”
Her voice dropped to a whisper. “You have?”
Brushing my thumb over her cheek, I nodded. “Yeah. I have.”
I leaned in, kissing her softly. Maybe I couldn’t tell her how I felt, but at least we had this.
We hadn’t talked about what would happen when she went home.
It can’t be anything serious. I knew that, and yet the words still stung. But I’d take it. I’d take anything with this woman.
Two weeks with her was enough. It would have to be.
Because otherwise, I’d have to admit something else to myself. Something that I couldn’t say.
Not out loud, at least.
She yawned. “Should we go to bed?”
I turned off the movie, gathering her up into my arms. Standing up, I headed towards the stairs, up to her room.
Tessa blushed. “I can walk you know.”
“I know.” Still didn’t mean I was going to put her down. Not when I had the girl of my dreams in my arms, and I was going to let this moment last a lifetime. “Don’t care.”
Her blue eyes sparkled up at me as I carried her to bed, and one by one, took each article of clothing off. Neither one of us said anything. Maybe it was that we both sensed that this was it—this was goodbye. But it didn’t feel like fucking at all that night.
As I moved inside of her in the quietness of the room, it felt a lot like making love.
“What do you want to do today, Hollywood?” I asked, pressing a kiss to her shoulder. We only had a few hours left together. Matthew & Noelle would be back from their honeymoon soon, and then everything would return to normal.
Except nothing felt normal.
Everything felt different. Especially after last night I curled my fingers through her hair. It was all because of her.
She snuggled against my chest. “Nothing.”
I laughed, running my hand down her back and cupping her bare ass. “We can’t stay in bed all day, baby.”
Tessa sighed, her fingers dancing over my abs. I knew how much she liked them—the last two weeks, she’d constantly been touching me. Though the feeling was mutual, I couldn’t get enough of her body either.
“Why can’t we?” she whispered the words, her eyes not meeting mine. I could feel her withdrawing. That this was the end
In this bed, she was mine. We were something more. But out there, we were just two people.
Two people who deserved a chance. Didn’t we?
Maybe she couldn’t stay here, but what if I—
The idea was crazy, and I tried to shake it from my head. She might not even want that. I had to remember what I promised her when we’d started this. Fun.
Sliding my finger underneath her chin, I forced her eyes to meet mine. “Hollywood, I know what you’re doing right now.”
“You do?” She raised an eyebrow.
“Uh-huh. You’re trying to forget what happens after.”
A frown covered Tessa’s beautiful face. “No, I’m not.”
“Yes, you are.”
She sighed like she didn’t have the energy to argue with me. But I knew I was right.
Tessa closed her eyes as I intertwined our fingers, playing with her hand.
“We can go do all your favorite things. What do you miss when you’re not in Portland?”
Me. I wanted her to say me.
And maybe that was the other reason she didn’t want to leave this bed. But I liked our adventures, too. I wanted to leave her with this memory. Of how good we were together. In every way.
That this could be more. Maybe. If we tried. It would be hard work, but what wasn’t?
Tessa hummed. “Well… I could go for some ice cream.”
She slipped her hand from mine, untangling herself from the sheets before heading to the bathroom. I watched her go, her lithe naked form as she swayed her hips.
One last day.
Standing up, I did my best to ignore my throbbing erection. I wouldn’t waste this last day with her. Not one damn second.
Even if that meant we didn’t leave the house for a few more hours.
It wasn’t like the ice cream wouldn’t wait for us, anyway.
If Matthew thought the fact that I was in his home when he and Noelle got back from their honeymoon was weird, he didn’t say it. Just nodded, clapped me on the shoulder, and then took their luggage into the bedroom.
Tessa was still packing her stuff up in the guest room. She’d kicked me out, insisting that if I stayed in there with her, we’d just end up having sex again. She wasn’t wrong, but I still grumbled all the way down to the living room.
My cousin, on the other hand, raised an eyebrow. “You know he’ll kill you if you hurt his baby sister.”
A laugh burst free from me. “Yeah. I’m not going to hurt her, though.” No, it was the opposite. She was going to hurt me. To break my heart. To leave me. “You look happy,” I said instead to Noelle. “Radiant.”
Her cheeks were pink as she fiddled with her wedding ring. She’d always blushed easily, even while we were growing up. “Thanks. It’s still crazy saying I’m his wife. But it feels right, too. I can’t imagine my life without him.”
I could imagine. If Tessa had my ring on her finger—I cut the thought off. That wasn’t going to happen.
“I’m glad you have him,” I said honestly, though I’d said a similar variation to her multiple times over the last few years. “He’s a great guy.”
Matthew came back into the living room, wrapping his arm around his wife’s waist, and I nodded to them both. “I’m gonna go get Tess.”
Noelle nodded to the couch. “Should we sit?”
I followed her, not sure what else there was to say.
Luckily, she beat me to it. “When Matthew and I first met, we both had a lot of baggage. And maybe, because of that, we both held ourselves back for longer than we needed. Neither one of us trusted ourselves to fall in love.
“It’s not like that,” I insisted. “We’re not—”
Noelle cut me off. “Just listen. I know what you’re going to say, because I’ve been there. But I just want you to remember that your happiness is important, too. What you want is important, Oliver. Don’t let anyone ever make you feel otherwise.”
I blinked. That was… actually really great advice. “Thanks, cuz.”
“You’re welcome. Now, don’t be an idiot.”
“But what if she doesn’t want the same things that I want?”
“Then you figure out a new plan that will make you both happy. And if she doesn’t want you, then she’s missing out, Oliver. I say that as your cousin and your friend.”
“Even though she’s technically your sister now?”
Noelle smiled. “Yeah. I’ll always have your back, Oli.”
“Thanks.”
She patted me on the shoulder, and then disappeared into her bedroom, leaving me sitting alone on the couch.
Trying to figure out what to say to the girl I wanted to beg to stay, but knew I had to let go.