12. Bea
Ibarely got through the morning emails when Taryn came bursting in. She plopped Gem onto the mat with her brother, the two babbling back and forth as if they’d reunited after a long time.
Dani was right behind her, carefully taking Wrigley from me.
“Griff is here for him,” Dani explained in a hushed whisper, placing a soft kiss on his tiny head.
“And Ash is on his way for the twins,” Taryn added. “He only had one job this morning and finished it. Now you have no choice, so tell us what the hell is going on.”
“We’re going right into it, I guess,” I joked, though it held no humor. It felt like I was forever falling apart these days.
Neither one of my friends were going to let me get away with it that easily. They knew me far too well.
“Out with it,” Dani demanded. “You’re avoiding.”
I’d barely opened my mouth when Griff walked in, giving us all a quick, but gruff, greeting before taking Wrigley from Dani, his voice softening only for her. Once he’d walked out, my besties turned back to me.
Then it was Ash interrupting.
By the time the twins were gone as well, I had no choice but to lay it all out for my best friends.
“I woke up this morning, and my stomach was a wreck,” I started, trailing off as I fought to find the right words.
“Since you were just around our children, I’m assuming it went away,” Taryn said, giving me a side-eye, but it was playful. She knew me better than that.
“Obviously,” I rolled my eyes.
“Which means,” Dani concluded, “the nausea was something else. Something Taryn and I both are quite familiar with.”
They were right about that. I’d lived through both of their bouts of morning sickness. The thought of it made my stomach hurt now, but I quickly swallowed and took a deep breath, trying to calm my nerves.
“I think I’m pregnant,” I blurted out.
Both of them gasped, despite the fact that they’d already figured it out.
“From the heat,” Taryn said, shaking her head. “Girl, and you haven’t talked to them in a month.”
“Something you’re going to have to rectify now,” Dani pointed out. Leave it to my best friend to put all my cards on the table and make me face them. “You have to tell them.”
“I have to go talk to them first,” I said. “I don’t want to just walk in and be like, ‘Hey, guess what, you got me pregnant. Sorry I’ve been avoiding you.’”
“That’s exactly what you say,” Taryn said. “They’re good guys, Bea. They’ll understand. Phoenix was not exactly an expected addition to your life.”
“A welcome one,” Dani tacked on, “but still unexpected.”
I ran a hand over my face. “I know,” I groaned. “Don’t you think I should see a doctor first to confirm it?”
Taryn rolled her eyes at me. “Girl, you know damn well that you’re pregnant. And why wouldn’t you want to just tell them? Let them go to the doctor with you. Having them there is so much better than doing it alone.”
Dani sat down gently next to me, and I hated that look on her face. The one that said she was concerned, but also being careful with me.
“Do you want them in your life?”
“Yes,” the word fell from my lips before I could stop it, and I realized I meant it.
Maybe it was the fact that I had Phoenix now that had me wanting to give her a stable life and a support group. But, it wasn’t just that. The moment I met those men, I felt safe around them. I was just too busy getting in my own way.
I had to take time to work past my own shit with Cameron, and honestly, everything that happened since then.
The therapy was definitely helping.
Cameron didn’t get to define my future.
Having a baby meant they’d be tied to me for the foreseeable future, and they sure as hell didn’t sign up for a teenager. We were a package deal now.
“Fuck,” I cursed. “This has gotten so complicated.”
“Then uncomplicate it,” Dani said with a shrug. “You know them better than we do, but there’s no way Dolly would introduce them to you if they were shitty people. Maybe they just need you to make the first step. You made it very clear that you needed space, and have they not given you that?”
“They have,” I agreed. There were occasional texts for the first two weeks, but they eventually stopped when I gave them nothing in return.
“We have two hours before our after-school help comes in,” Taryn said. “That gives you a little bit of time to process, and then before we leave this office today, you are going to talk to them.”
“Oh, you totally missed the lunch you had planned,” Taryn added. “Why don’t you just invite them out for dinner instead? It’s a sure thing, not just a text.”
“That’s a good idea,” I relented. “But I have plans with Phoenix tonight. I already had Dani pull the books for me.
“Tomorrow then,” Taryn rolled her eyes at my weak attempts of deflection.
That meant in less than twenty-four hours, I would be face-to-face with my pack. Not only that, I’d have to explain myself.
Thank god I didn’t have any client meetings today, but now that the kids were accounted for, I had a solid two hours to knock out my ever-growing pile of emails and admin work.
I didn’t regret taking that from Dani after her run-in with her stalker, but no matter how you looked at it, email sorting sucked.
As much as I tried to focus on my work, I couldn’t help but think of the pack. I’d have to stop beating myself up. Phoenix was my priority, and I had no regrets about taking time to get to know her and let her find her footing here.
What would she say about all this? Maybe I should talk to her about it tonight.
When the two hours were finally up, they both appeared like magic in my doorway, staring me down, arms crossed, blocking it so I couldn’t make an easy escape.
Not that I was trying to.
I sighed at them, then pulled out my phone quickly, going to the group chat that had been abandoned.
Me
I’m sorry for going MIA. There was a good reason, and I’d like to have dinner tomorrow night and explain… if you’re willing?
It wasn't even a full second later and my phone pinged three times.
Apollo
Of course, Goddess.
Corvin
Can’t wait, Siren. Need us to bring anything?
Ezra
What time, honeybee?
I glanced from my phone to my friends. “They’re in.”
My entire body sagged in relief. I didn’t realize how much I needed them to not hold it against me. How much I just needed them.
"See!” Dani grinned. “Do you want us to help with anything?"
"Did you get those books I asked for? I need to get those and the pizza. I have a niece that I promised books and food too." I said. “Tonight, I’m going to focus on her. Tomorrow, I will fix things with the pack.”
"You know that's not what we meant," Taryn said with a huff.
I knew she was right but this was something that I needed to do on my own.
"Nah, just keep your phones on you, just in case," I warned them.
Dani hurried out and came back with the books that I asked for.
"Thank you, it's been too long since I read these. I'm excited to do this with Phoenix. I’m hoping this can help us bond," I said.
"You are rocking this aunt thing," Dani tried to reassure me.
"You're doing better at this than you think," Tayrn agreed.
I loved their confidence in me. It meant a lot. They were truly the only reason I haven’t lost my damn mind.
"Thanks. Now you two get your asses to your packs and babies. I have a fun night with my niece ahead of me," I told them as I gathered my stuff and headed to the door.
I texted Phoenix that I was going to grab pizza and then be home. She sent back a smiley face and thumbs up. I’d count that as a small win. Sometimes she didn’t bother to respond.
After working in the office all day, I welcomed the fresh air. The pizza place was packed, but thanks to calling ahead I was in and out in minutes. I hurried home, the smell of the pizza making my stomach growl like crazy. At least it wasn’t revolting anymore.
"Phoenix," I called as I walked in the front door.
"Food!" she shouted, racing towards me with her hands out for the boxes. She snatched them and ran for the kitchen to put them down.
"You know that you are welcome to eat snacks after school if you’re hungry," I reminded her.
"Yeah, you've said that, but I knew that you were getting this," she said, holding up a slice. "I had to save room."
"Should I have gotten more? Are two pizzas and breadsticks enough?" I mused, giving her a grin.
"What did you get for you?" she teased right back.
"Just don't over do it," I said, sneaking a piece from the box before she could snag it. "I got the book you wanted and one for me, too. I thought we could do a buddy read. If you want to?"
"I'm a slow reader. Are you okay going slow?" she asked between bites.
"Sure, we can do a chapter or two a night? After homework, of course," I added.
"I'd like that, maybe you can read out loud sometimes and I can follow along?" she questioned.
"Of course, we can," I smiled at her as I placed my slice on a plate. "Are you ready to head outside?"
"Almost, let me get another two pieces and some bread sticks," she answered, placing another piece on my plate and a bread stick. I swear, these little moments were more reassuring than anything.
"Do you want some ranch?" I asked as I opened the fridge to grab it.
"Ranch with pizza? I don't think that I've ever had that," she said, wrinkling her nose at the idea.
"Well, I eat it that way. It's not for everyone," I said as I squeezed a dollop on my plate.
"I think I'd like to try it," she hedged, still looking unsure. I squeezed a small amount on her plate.
"It's good to try new things, but I want it to be your choice. Protein is a must, but we can call tonight cheat night. I will keep snacks, too, but if you don't eat the protein, we will have to cut back. Got to keep up your strength.”
She was eyeing me and my mouth dropped. “Oh god, I just sounded like a mom?" I groaned, placing my hand over my mouth.
"It's fine. You care about me and I get it. Aunt Bea, you are more of a mom than my mom was. If I don't agree, I'll let you know," she promised. "I didn't start the fire pit, though, after the shelter fire, I've shied away from it."