Chapter 2 #2
“What!” The word burst out of me—too loud and too panicked.
I registered Sable and Kai straightening and shifting to sit on the edge of the couch. Scar, Lee, and Tuck hovered between the living area and the kitchen, watching.
Wolf set the plate and water on the floor, glaring at me. “You’re goin’ back so we can finally have a trial.”
A trial?
I gaped at him, a ringing sound filling my ears. He waited like he expected me to say something, but I could only choke one word out, “What?”
“We’re gonna have a trial,” he repeated louder as if he thought I hadn’t heard him, “since you ran away last time.”
I stared stupidly at him for what felt like forever. Ran away? When I got my mouth to move, the words came out shaky, “I did not run away.”
“Then where the fuck did you go?” he challenged.
“I was exiled.” My control was slipping. This had to be a nightmare. “I had a fuckin trial.”
“Language, Em.”
As soon as the familiar words left his mouth, a funny look crossed his face like he’d said them without thinking, but I saw red. Language?
“I am not a fucking child , Wolf.”
He glared but pushed past it. “Don’t lie to me, Ember. I know you manipulated a guard to let you out, and then you ran. We searched the hold for days. How did you get outside the wall?
Something icy cold was overtaking the anger. “I didn’t! Pa took me outside the wall and told me I was exiled!"
Wolf’s body tensed at my words, his eyes narrowing sharply on my face. “Oh, and what? Then he came back and lied to the council, the Ministry, the whole hold, and me about it? If I’m gonna trust anyone, it’s gonna be Pa and not a murderer .”
My eyes burned, and I struggled to keep from crying.
“I’m not… I’m not lyin’!” I could tell he believed what he was saying—sincerity was written all over his face.
So what did that mean? That Pa had lied?
Why would he do that? Why would he tell us two different things? None of this made any fucking sense.
“I’m not arguing with you about this,” Wolf said sternly. “You’re wanted for murder, and I’m turning you in.”
Panic swelled. I’d been prepared to die. I’d made my peace with that, but this was worse than death.
“Wolf, I swear. I’m not lyin’.” I tried to calm my voice, but it shook. “I can’t go back. I was exiled .”
“Ember, I don’t wanna hear your lies.” Wolf ran a hand through his hair, weariness deepening the lines of his face.
“I’m not!” I cried, desperate, but I knew I couldn’t convince him. He was dead set, and nothing could move him when Wolf dug in his heels. He was going to drag me back to Carth, and Pa would kill me. Or the Ministry would?—
I felt like I was going to be sick.
“If you already think I’m guilty, why don’t you just kill me?”
The fury that roared to life in his eyes made them look like green fire. “Because I’m not a kinslayer.”
That horrible word hit its mark just like he meant it to. I couldn’t breathe for a moment as I tried to choke everything back. The awful sound of Dune’s frantic dying cries rose like a ghost from my memory, and I furiously struck back.
“No, you’re just a fucking coward,” I hissed.
Something in him seemed to snap. He shoved me back by the shoulders, and my head smacked into the wall. Wolf’s jaw flexed, but for a long moment, he didn’t say anything. We’d always butted heads, but now there was an entire chasm between us—a chasm haunted with memories of Dune.
“Watch your mouth, Ember Cutler,” he bit out.
He released me and stood, stalking past where Sable and Kai were now standing in front of the couch to the front door and slamming it behind him.
In the sudden silence, I could feel everyone looking at me, and I ducked my head as my eyes flooded with tears.
Scar followed Wolf outside, and after a moment, Sable went outside, too.
Kai moved into the kitchen, speaking to Lee in a low voice. Tuck stayed in the chair, watching me.
I pulled my knees tighter against my chest and didn’t move, reciting medical text inside my head at a frantic pace and trying to hold the broken pieces of myself together.
When someone tapped my boot several minutes later, I jerked upright again. Lee crouched in front of me this time. I’d been awake, but I hadn’t heard him approaching. They were all so quiet it made it impossible to track them around the cabin, and it unnerved me. How the fuck were they doing that?
“You remember me?” he asked.
He knew I did, so I didn’t answer, my stomach churning.
No one else was in the room, and I wondered if anyone would even come if I screamed.
Strands of his black hair fell across his face, escaping the bun on top of his head, and the firelight made long shadows under his high cheekbones.
His almond-shaped eyes were dark, almost black, and something about them reminded me of a hawk—intelligent and missing nothing.
Everything about him was sharp, from his cheekbones to his eyes to his jawline.
I wasn’t blind—he was handsome. All my brother’s friends were attractive, which I found fucking annoying.
Would it kill Wolf to find some ugly friends?
“You and your brother could be twins if you were closer in age,” he finally said, “Especially with those damn eyes.”
I dropped my gaze to the floor. Wolf and I both had our mom’s unusual green eyes.
Every so often, Juck loved to casually mention how a man had been asking around about a girl with green eyes.
He’d use it as a threat to get me to cooperate, but he never asked who was hunting me or why.
Somehow, that was worse. I hated not knowing how much or how little he knew.
As I got older, I realized he liked reminding me I depended on him and needed him to keep me safe.
He liked to work me up so he could comfort me, but I was so pathetic and starved for comfort I let him keep doing it.
What I didn’t understand was why none of the Reapers ever turned me in.
“You got quite the reputation in the cells,” Lee continued. “Madame’s Grim Reaper.”
I couldn’t hide the way my breath caught in my chest. His sharp eyes narrowed, sending a bolt of fear through me, but fuck, that hurt. He waited like he was expecting me to say something, and when I didn’t, he looked almost disappointed.
“You should eat something.”
I glanced back at the plate of food on the floor. What was the point? I was being hauled back to Carth to die. Why did they care if I ate or not?
“Were those guards dead?” I asked instead.
His brow drew together. “At the Vault? No, just tranqed.”
Relief made me dizzy.
“Did you really think we killed them?” he asked, his head tilting as he regarded me.
I didn’t answer, dropping my eyes. For several breaths, the only sound was the crackling fire.
“So you’re, what? Twenty-two, right?”
I didn’t answer.
“How long have you been at the Vault?”
I kept my eyes on a small spider crawling in and out of the cracks on the floor. Despite the cabin being ancient and worn, it was surprisingly clean and in decent condition. How long had they been staying here?
“How’s that cut on your cheek?” Lee’s voice was calm, as though my silence didn’t bother him at all.
The sealant was still stiff on my skin where Wolf had put it. The cut ached when I thought about it, but it was barely a scratch. It’d probably be gone by?—
Lee shifted toward me, and my fucked-up reflexes roared to life. I lurched backward, nearly straight into the fireplace. I probably would have at least singed my hair if he hadn’t grabbed my arm and jerked me back away from the flames.
“Whoa!” he exclaimed, his eyebrows shooting up. “Easy.”
I yanked my arm free and curled my shoulders inward, avoiding his eyes.
“Alright, let’s get somethin’ straight, right now,” his voice grew stern, and my stomach dropped. “I’m not gonna hit you, Ember. None of us are ever gonna hit you.”
The spider had vanished, probably scared off by my overreaction. I wished I could crawl into one of those cracks in the floor and disappear.
“Who taught you to flinch like that? Madame?”
My stomach churned, but my embarrassment was fading to anger. “Don’t you have anythin’ better to do?” I muttered.
When he didn’t respond, I glanced up at him to see him grinning widely.
“Tell you what, I’ll leave you alone if you eat something.” He winked.
I immediately took a piece of dried meat and took a bite, ignoring his chuckle. True to his word, he stood and returned to the kitchen. As he began washing the dishes, I glanced around the room, carefully checking all the shadows, but it was empty except for the two of us.
I needed to make a decision. This wasn’t what I expected. I’d planned to surrender if Wolf ever caught up with me. I knew that was inevitable, but I always thought he’d kill me. I never would have imagined he’d want to drag me back to Carth. I shuddered. No, I couldn’t go back to Carth.
I thought of Mac smiling and flashing those dimples, of Griz helping me, of Sam teasing me and making me laugh, of Jax opening up, of Raven’s gentle hands that contradicted her sharp tongue.
I wanted to go home—not Carth, but the place that had become my real home.
I wanted my real family. A seed of hope took root in my chest. They were underestimating me, and Wolf himself had taught me to use that to my advantage.
“Where’s Wolf?” I didn’t have to fake the way my voice shook.
Lee turned around, eyebrows raised. “He went for a walk.”
I bit my lip, trying to look nervous.
“Why?” he added when I didn’t say anything.
I willed my cheeks to redden. “I need to use the bathroom,” I mumbled, and he looked uncomfortable. Good.
“The outhouse isn’t operational. We’ve been using the woods.”
I chewed on my lip for a second. “I really have to go.”
He stared at me then heaved a heavy sigh. “Alright, c’mon.”
I stood by the fireplace and waited until he shrugged on his coat and beckoned me over.
“We don’t have any spare coats,” he said as I neared.