Chapter 4
I opened my eyes and found myself in Trey’s arms.
I tilted my head up to look at him, my brow furrowing. He was awake, staring back at me. He was sitting against a rock wall and holding me against his chest. My brain struggled to remember what just happened as my teeth chattered.
“You’re here,” I whispered.
“I’m here,” he said.
Emotion overwhelmed me, filling my eyes and sliding down my cheeks. His eyes widened in alarm.
“What’s wrong?” he asked.
“I thought—” My voice broke.
His eyebrows drew together in confusion.
“Am I dead?” I asked.
“No,” he seemed to force a slight smile, “you’re not dead.”
My head throbbed as I shivered. I couldn’t remember .
“It’s ok, Freckles,” he murmured. “You have a fever.”
I managed to get an arm free and reached up to touch his face.
He went still, watching me with narrowed eyes.
I cupped his face, my thumb stroking across his sharp cheekbone.
Something nagged at the back of my mind.
How was he here? He didn’t move, his eyes fixed on my face as my fingers trailed across his skin before sliding into his hair.
It was pulled back, but the wild strands that had escaped felt…
wrong. I frowned, but he caught my wrist and pulled my hand away.
“Who am I?” he asked.
I stared at him, trying to wrap my head around that strange question.
“Who are you seeing?” he rephrased, but that wasn’t any better.
“Please don’t leave.” My voice shook.
“I’m not leaving.”
“I can’t…I can’t do this without you.” Panic was building in my chest.
“You don’t have to.”
“No, Trey, you don’t understand.” More tears slid down my face. “I can’t. I can’t do it. I don’t want to do it.”
He took the blanket in his hand and gently wiped the tears from my face. “I’m not Trey,” he murmured. “I’m Lee. I’m your brother’s friend.”
Terror sliced me into tiny pieces, my breath coming faster. “My brother?”
“Wolf.” He watched me carefully as he said it, and I knew I was failing to hide the fear on my face.
“Wolf’s here?” I whispered, my voice shaking.
“Well, not here in this cave, but yes.”
All of me was shaking, now. “Don’t let him see you.”
“Why?”
“I can’t…I can’t watch him hurt you.”
“He’s not gonna hurt anyone,” he said, his brow furrowed.
I pushed away, and he released me, but when I started trying to get to my feet, he caught my arm again.
“Where are you going?” he asked.
“We gotta get the kids somewhere safe.” The fear was making me nauseous.
“What kids? Your brother would never hurt a kid.”
“It might not be enough.” I struggled to focus. This was important.
“What might not be enough?”
“Killin’ me.” My voice wobbled.
“Freckles, he’s not gonna kill you, and he’d never hurt a kid.”
“You don’t know that,” I argued, trying to pull my arm free.
“I’ve spent the past ten years with him, so I think I can pretty confidently say I do.”
I blinked at him in confusion, and he stared back at me. His warm brown eyes looked troubled, and I wanted to see them glowing with sunshine again. I shivered, my teeth clattering together.
“C’mere,” he said softly, tugging on my arm.
I let him pull me back into his lap and wrap me in his arms again. I tried to remember what we’d just been arguing about, but it was gone.
“Why do you think Wolf is gonna kill you?” he asked in a soft voice.
“Pa said so,” I whispered, trying to press even closer against him as chills wracked my body.
“What’d your Pa say?”
“He said Wolf was gonna come after me and tear me apart.” My whispered voice shook. “He said Wolf wants me dead.”
He stared at me, studying my face without a word.
“Please, Trey, I can’t…if something happens to you—” A sob cut me off.
“Hey,” he slid his hands into my damp, tangled hair to grip the sides of my head and tilted my face up to meet his eyes, “nothin’ is gonna happen to me.”
“Please don’t leave me,” I sobbed. “Don’t leave me alone. I can’t do this. I can’t…”
“I’m not gonna leave, Freckles,” he murmured. “I promise.”
I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck, clinging to him as I cried. He was right here, so why did it feel like my heart was breaking?
He hesitated momentarily before wrapping me in his arms and pulling me tighter against his chest. A burst of chills made me shake so hard it felt like my brain rattled. The pain that stabbed through my head was enough to make me suck in a breath and squeeze my eyes shut.
“You’re not alone,” he said into my hair. “You’re not alone, Freckles.”
“I’m always alone,” I choked out, “and I hate it.”
“Not anymore,” he said in a low voice.
I shivered and pressed my face against his neck, trying to soak up his warmth. A hand pressed against my forehead again.
“Fuck,” he muttered. “Godsdamnit.”
He shifted me over, and cold air filled the space his warm body had occupied. I shivered, trying to focus in the dim light. Who…where was I?
“Don’t leave,” I whimpered.
“I’m not leaving. I’m getting some snow,” a male voice answered.
“What?” I mumbled, trying to focus.
A body appeared at my side, startling me, and my lungs turned to stone when I met Juck’s gaze. I tried to make myself smaller as I studied his face. What mood was he in? If I didn’t get it right, I’d pay for it.
“What’s the matter?” he asked.
“Nothin’,” I whispered, dropping my eyes. “I’m sorry.”
“Why are you apologizin’?”
Fuck, this was a trap. I didn’t know. What had I done? I couldn’t remember.
“I don’t…I didn’t mean to,” I tried, my voice shaking.
I didn’t look at his face, careful to keep my eyes down, but I tried to keep an eye on him in my peripheral vision. His hand moved toward me, and I braced myself for the blow.
“Ember, I am not gonna hurt you.”
Fear sizzled down my spine. He knew my name? How did he know my name? Did I tell?—
Something cold pressed against my face, and I jerked away.
“I know it’s cold,” he said, “but we gotta bring your fever down.”
Something was wrong with me. What was wrong with me? Fuck, was he going to drug me again?
“I’m fine,” I pleaded. “I don’t need, please don’t—” My gaze searched our surroundings for the small lockbox he kept the narcs in. “Please don’t drug me. Please. I swear I’m fine. It doesn’t hurt that bad.”
Icy cold pressed against my face again, and I tried to jerk away, but I couldn’t move. I was trapped.
“Please,” I begged, tears gathering in my eyes, “please don’t drug me.”
“I’m not gonna drug you,” he snapped.
Oh fuck, now he was mad.
“I’m sorry. I’m s-sorry,” I whispered, squeezing my eyes shut.
The painful cold pressed against the side of my neck, and I cringed.
“I’m just tryin’ to bring your fever down,” he said in a gentle voice that made me more scared. “I’m not gonna hurt you, Freckles.”
I tried to stay alert as Wolf taught me, but a hot, heavy blanket suffocated my mind.
I tried to speak and must have gotten words out because someone answered, but I couldn’t understand it.
My body shivered, and I couldn’t make it stop.
I needed to make it stop. I needed to keep myself under control.
“I don’t want…I don’t…” I blinked at the face above me. Words had been slipping off my tongue, but I had absolutely no idea what I’d been saying.
“Hi,” the man said.
I knew him, but I couldn’t remember how or why. I furrowed my brow.
“I’m Lee.” One side of his mouth lifted in a crooked smile.
I frowned in confusion. I was lying on the hard floor, and he seemed to have been lying beside me. Who the fuck was Lee?
“I’m the guy tryin’ to keep you alive.”
That didn’t make any sense.
“It’s a much harder job than I expected.” His tone was teasing, but his eyes looked worried.
“Am I supposed to feel sorry for you?” I mumbled, annoyed. Was I dreaming?
He blinked, his eyebrows lifting, and then grinned. “Yeah, you are.”
My eyelids were so heavy, but I needed to figure this out. I knew him. How did I know him?
“Did you know that man in the cell?” Mac’s furious voice ran through my head.
“You were in the cell,” I whispered.
“Yep.”
There was more, but it danced on the edge of my memory, taunting me. He was in the cell—the cell under the watchtower.
“Why…why were you…” My voice trailed off, my mind spinning.
“I was lookin’ for you,” he said lightly.
My body went rigid. He was looking for me because he was with…
“Where’s Wolf?”
“Hopefully, on his way here,” he paused, and a shadow passed over his expression, “though he’s probably plotting the most painful way to kill me.”
I tried to swallow, but my throat was so dry. “Water?”
“You didn’t get enough of it in the river?” he teased, but he stretched to grab something and then handed me a bottle of water.
I tried to sit, but my body was so fucking heavy. He maneuvered me upright, but the movement made the room spin, and my head erupted in pain. I squeezed my eyes shut, wincing.
“You ok?”
I couldn’t answer, trying to breathe through the pain in my head. The rock floor was freezing on my bare legs. A hand pressed against my forehead and my eyes popped back open.
“Fuck, you’re still burning up,” he muttered. “I need to get you back to the cabin, but it’ll take way too long on foot. Hopefully, your brother gets his head out of his ass, sees the smoke, and figures out where we are.”
“How long has it been?” I asked, bringing the water bottle to my lips.
“Been almost a day and a half.”
My hand shook, spilling water down my chin.
“Oh, here, I have?—”
I glanced at him when his voice cut off, but he was staring at my chest. I looked down, my stomach twisting in panic as I realized the shirt I wore had gaped open, revealing the top of the brand. I moved to yank it closed, but he moved faster and caught my wrist.
“What is that?”
All the lightheartedness had evaporated from his voice, and my lungs seized.
I tried to pull my hand away, but his grip tightened.
Before I could react, he reached out with his free hand and shifted my shirt.
I braced myself, but he just stared, a muscle in his jaw flexing.
He dropped his hand, easily undoing another button one-handed, and pulled my shirt open more, revealing the entire hideous mark while I sat there, frozen.
“What is this?” he demanded in a low voice, meeting my eyes again.
I couldn’t answer, my heart thundering in my chest. He studied me with his sharp eyes, his hand still locked around my wrist. He looked back at the scar, and I flinched when his fingertips traced the rough, raised skin.
“Is this a ’J’?”
A wave of dizziness washed over me.
“Did Madame do this to you?”
“Please.” The word bubbled out of me.
He quieted and studied my face, his jaw clenched tight.
“Don’t tell him,” I begged in a whisper.
His eyebrows rose, and his voice was full of disbelief as he replied, “What?”
“Please, Lee.” I couldn’t explain better, but the thought of Wolf seeing the brand made me feel sick.
I didn’t want him to see just how broken and ruined I was.
He would have questions, just like Lee, just like Trey, and I couldn’t tell him about all the horrible things I’d experienced or all the awful things I’d done to other people.
“There’s no way in fuck I’m keeping this a secret from my best friend about his little sister.”
I closed my eyes in defeat and dread, shivering hard. He sighed heavily and pulled me back into his lap. I went stiff as a board against his chest as he wrapped the blanket tightly around both of us again.
“How the fuck did you survive in that river?” he muttered, and I realized his fingertips were drifting across my ribs, slowly tracing them over my shirt. “You’ve got no fat on your bones.”
I tipped my head forward so my hair fell across my face like a curtain, hiding behind it.
“Wolf better bring Sable,” he continued. “I need him to stitch up my leg before I lose it as you so kindly predicted.”
That caught my attention. I didn’t remember saying anything about his leg.
I didn’t remember he was injured at all.
I bit my lip as my power fluttered—weak but alive.
My brain felt like it was full of thick mud, but I knew one thing for sure: I couldn’t heal him because Wolf could not know about my power.
My fingertips tingled. What if he was really hurt?
I can’t.
What if I just checked? I could check. He wouldn’t even know. My fingertips found a slice of bare skin between his pants and his shirt. He jumped when I touched him but simply muttered something about cold hands.
I tried to focus on letting a tiny bit of my power out, the thinnest little thread that flowed down to his leg.
I closed my eyes, and I could see it in my mind.
The long laceration in his shin was deep and still bleeding.
It needed stitches, but more urgently, my powers flared around where an infection was taking root.
Fuck.
There was no running water in this cave—no way to clean the wound like it needed.
I can’t.
It might even need to be packed.
I can’t.
I’d seen people lose limbs to infection. I’d sawed through bone myself on two separate occasions. It was horrible.
He’ll tell Wolf.
It’s what Trey would’ve done.
My brain had no answer to that.
So, I kept letting my power out as slowly as possible to keep him from noticing.
I’d never purposefully healed a wound slowly before.
It hurt, but I couldn’t tell if it was from holding back most of my power or if I was still exhausted from the river.
It seemed to take a long time, and my nose started bleeding halfway through, soaking into his shirt where my face was pressed against his chest, but finally, the wound closed without him noticing.
I withdrew my hand and let my eyes close in relief.
Stupid.
I couldn’t tell if my brain meant me or him, but either way, it was probably right.