Chapter 38
I waited until midday before I made my move. I wanted to get as far away from Roe as possible, but I was not about to go quietly. Talmar thought I was uncooperative before? I was going to make every single one of these assholes regret coming on this mission.
They stopped at midday for a rest, and the Voiceless dismount.
The one leading my horse dropped the reins and began to walk back to grunt at me to get down, but as soon as he’d turned his back on the reins, I kicked my horse as hard as possible.
The poor thing reared back on its hind legs, knocked the Voiceless off his feet, and bolted, bowling over a few more Voiceless who didn’t get out of the way fast enough.
We thundered down the path, and I let the horse take the lead, ducking low in the saddle to avoid branches and clinging to the saddle horn for dear life.
I glanced back once to see they were pursuing me on their horses, and I urged mine faster.
The reins were dragging on the ground, out of reach, and I hoped the horse wouldn’t step on them and fall.
We slowly outpaced the other horses, and for a moment, elation seized me.
I was getting away! If I could lose them somehow in the woods, maybe I could find my way back to the Vault and?—
Movement at my side caught my attention, and a strangled cry escaped my lips when I saw one of the metal-legged Voiceless running alongside my horse. He grabbed the trailing reins and pulled back, and the horse fought him but slowed.
No!
He had his hands full trying to stop the horse, so as soon as I was pretty sure I wouldn’t die, I bailed off.
I hit the ground and rolled, tumbling down the steep mountainside and picking up speed until I slammed into a tree.
I didn’t move for a second, trying and failing to gasp in a breath, and that was all it took for the metal-legged Voiceless to catch up to me.
He seized my arm and yanked me to my feet.
I fought him, and the black threads on his lips strained as he hissed out an angry noise.
I wasn’t winning by any means, but he struggled to get me back up the ridge.
I landed a lucky kick right to his groin, and despite the metal legs, he was still a man between them because he crumpled with a groan.
I took off, but a second enhanced Voiceless caught me seconds later.
This one was bigger than the first and threw me roughly over his shoulder.
I tried to kick and scratch, but my attempts barely got his attention.
He carried me back to my abandoned horse, where Talmar was waiting.
The Voiceless dumped me on the ground, and I stayed there as Talmar loomed over me, his eyes narrowed with fury.
As my heart pounded in my throat, I wondered if he’d expected this to be easier—if he’d expected me to be easier.
Maybe I would have been if I hadn’t met Trey and my crew.
If the Voiceless had found me right after I killed Juck, I would’ve already been mostly broken, and I doubted it would’ve taken much to finish the job, but I’d had time to heal and get a taste of life and love and freedom, and I wanted more.
“Get up,” he snarled.
I didn’t move.
Talmar gestured at the Voiceless who’d carried me back, and rough hands grabbed my upper arms and hauled me to my feet. I saw Talmar’s windup and tried to brace myself. The blow caught me across the face, snapping my head backward and making me stumble into the big Voiceless behind me.
“No more,” he hissed, his face contorted with rage. “We can no longer wait until evening for you to face the consequences of your defiance. Your insolence must end now. ” He glanced at the Voiceless behind me. “Bind her.”
He turned on his heel and mounted his horse as the Voiceless wrenched my hands back and began tying them with what felt like a rope.
He cinched them painfully tight, but I pressed my lips together, refusing to make a noise.
He knocked me to the ground after binding my hands so he could bind my ankles as well.
Then he picked me up and threw me over the back of my horse like a dead deer.
I hung there, blood rushing to my head, and tried to breathe as we returned to the rest of the Voiceless.
I reminded myself over and over that at least Roe was safe and that they couldn’t hurt him.
I was infinitely familiar with pain. I could handle pain. This would not break me.
“You’re a river. You don’t break, you bend.”
As we approached the others, I could hear hammering.
When we came into view, I realized they were hammering long metal stakes into the ground.
Each stake had a leather strap attached to it, and my entire body started shaking.
Still, when they pulled me down and untied me, I fought, aiming for eyes and groins and flinging handfuls of dirt into their faces.
I used every dirty trick I could remember Wolf teaching me, but I was no match for a dozen Voiceless.
They overpowered me, securing my wrists and ankles to the leather straps and forcing me to lay spread-eagle on my back in the dirt.
I snarled up at them, trying to focus on how many were bloodied, disheveled, and panting rather than the restraints on my body.
Talmar appeared above me, and I was viciously pleased to see he had a fat, bloody lip.
“God of Death, we invoke you as humble vessels awaiting your will,” Talmar recited with cold fury. “May your shadows guide us and bear witness.”
I spat out every horrible curse I knew, and a vein pulsed in his forehead.
“Ember, Goddess of Life,” Talmar continued, raising his voice over my swearing, “you stand before us with a heart hardened by pride and defiance. You have turned from your divine path and rejected the sacred union with your God.”
I tried to brace myself, even as each breath came jagged and uneven.
“Tonight, you face the consequence of your defiance. You have challenged the will of the God of Death, and you will atone in agony.”
I tried to suck in deeper breaths, shaking. You don’t break. You don’t break. You don’t break.
“Your body has previously been claimed by another who defied the will of the cosmos and the God of Death. Your soul is stained with his defiance, and your flesh still bears his mark, but today, you shall be reforged.”
My body went cold all over. No. He couldn’t mean ? —
A Voiceless stepped forward. He met my frightened gaze as he knelt in the dirt beside me and pressed his fist against his chest, head bowed. Then he straightened, grabbed the front of my T-shirt, and ripped it open to my navel.
Panic stole all the air from my lungs, and tears rolled down my face. Talmar approached, his eyes hard and unforgiving, and my eyes locked on what he held in his hand. It was a metal branding iron—a real one—and a sob escaped.
“May this symbol forever serve as a reminder that your mind, body, and soul belong to the God of Death. As this brand burns away the mark of the traitor, may it also burn away your pride and your resistance, may you be purified through fire, and may the God of Death look favorably upon your sacrifice.”
Talmar turned and held the brand out. A Voiceless stepped forward, lifted their metal arm, and flames shot from their palm like a blow torch. I watched the metal slowly begin glowing orange, gasping in panicked breaths. You don’t break. You don’t break.
All too soon, Talmar turned back to me, holding the glowing brand aloft. I couldn’t make out the symbol from where I lay, but I knew it was something worse than Juck’s initial.
“Prepare yourself, Goddess, for the mark of reclamation.”
There was no hesitation, no guilt, no regret in Talmar’s expression—just a feverish light shining in his bloodshot eyes.
I sobbed through my teeth as I clenched my jaw and tried to brace myself as Talmar slowly lowered the brand, but the second the burning metal pressed into my skin, a scream of agony ripped out of me.
The horrifyingly familiar smell and sound of my flesh burning choked me as I tried to suck in a breath, but I couldn’t breathe. I couldn’t?—
I jerked back to consciousness at the sensation of my pants being removed. I immediately started kicking, my bare foot smashing into the face of a Voiceless, but the pain in my chest hit me, and I almost passed out again. As I struggled to stay conscious, my ankles were seized and rebound.
Talmar appeared above me and smiled.
“Fuck…you,” I got out through my teeth.
He crouched beside me, still smiling, and I knew something worse was coming.
“As I told you, it is forbidden for us to touch the Goddess of Life intimately,” he said softly, and bile surged up my throat.
“So I shall offer my body to the God of Death. I shall be his vessel as he claims your body for his own.”
“No,” the hoarse word escaped despite my effort to keep my mouth shut.
He gently stroked the side of my cheek, and I jerked my head to the side.
“I warned you, Goddess. I gave you so many chances to avoid this fate.” He grabbed my chin, forcing me to hold his gaze.
“We will break you, Ember. Continue to defy us, and we will strip away every last shred of dignity until you understand the futility of your resistance.”
There was no point in holding back anymore. I shoved down all the horror and fear at what was about to happen and let unfettered rage take control. “The only thing you’re a vessel for is your tiny dick, asshole!”