Chapter 40
I t was another day before we reached my crew on the radio.
Mac’s voice sounded fierce as he demanded to talk to me, although talking to me probably didn’t ease his worries much since I immediately burst into tears when he asked if I was alright.
Wolf gave him a rundown of what happened, my injuries, and where we were.
My crew had gone southwest, but Mac promised to be back at the Vault by midday tomorrow when Wolf told him we’d be arriving.
I couldn’t sleep enough to ease the exhaustion running through me. I couldn’t tell if it was just from my body trying to heal the burn on my chest or the ordeal or something else.
You were always meant to be his, and without him, your powers will corrupt. You feel it, don’t you? The darkness in your veins?
I tried to tell myself Talmar was lying, twisting things as he attempted to manipulate me, but I felt weak— just like he’d said I would.
If you continue on this path, your body will weaken, and you will become a harbinger of sickness and death.
This nausea was just my anxiety. It had to be.
Roe slowly opened up to Wolf and his crew, and I had to admit it was cute to see them interacting with him.
All of them were more at ease around a child than I would have guessed, which was a pleasant surprise.
Sable and I seemed to call a truce. I let him re-bandage the brand every day and didn’t fight him about examining me, and he seemed careful only to do what was necessary.
Wolf relayed to the rest of the crew what I’d told him on the first night, thankfully while I was sleeping.
After that, I noticed Kai stopped glaring at me and seemed to make more of an effort not to be a dick.
And Lee was Lee. He returned to teasing and flirting as though nothing had happened, but we had no more opportunities to be alone together.
My nightmares grew worse. I woke up screaming every night, sometimes more than once, and I hated that it made Roe cry every time.
I tried to remember how I’d managed to keep my jaw clenched shut after Trey’s death, but maybe my body had reached its threshold for stuffing down hurt.
Wolf was always there to calm me down, though, and I fell back asleep every night to him humming, but Talmar and the Voiceless continued to haunt me.
I started dreading nightfall and tried to sit by the fire and keep myself awake as long as possible in the evenings.
I could tell everyone knew what I was doing, but they didn’t mention it.
“Em, wake up.”
I straightened with a gasp, my heart slowly calming as I realized I was still on the horse with Wolf.
“Look,” my brother said, raising a hand to point ahead.
The Vault was below us, nestled in the small basin between the mountains, and my heart swelled at the familiar sight of the tall metal walls and even the fucking watchtower in the middle. Home. The Vault was home.
“Mac must’ve beat us back,” Wolf said, gesturing to where I could just barely make out the rovers parked inside the gate.
“Mac?” I tried, wondering how far his power reached.
“Em!”
His familiar voice filled my head and brought tears to my eyes. “Hi,” I managed to get out.
“Are you back?” he demanded.
“Almost.”
“Fuck, I need to see you,” he sounded agitated.
“What, speaking to me telepathically isn’t enough?” I teased, but the urgency in his tone made me feel unsteady.
“You’d think it would be, but it’s really fuckin’ not,” he said with humor, but it still sounded strained.
“I’m really okay, Mac.”
“Em,” I felt the jolt of pain and fury that went through him, “you’re not okay. They fuckin’ tortured you.”
“Okay, true,” my mouth was so dry, “but I’m feelin’ so much better now that we’re almost home.”
“I hope you’re prepared ’cause there’s a whole damn welcoming committee for you.”
I grinned.
“I’m gonna try real hard not to be a pain in the ass, but I might have trouble lettin’ you out of my sight for a while.”
“Understandable,” I said with a laugh, and it struck me how that statement didn’t make me angry or afraid—just loved. “I can’t wait to see you.”
His smile felt so warm, even though I couldn’t see it. “I can’t wait to see you, too. I’m gonna go let everybody know you’re almost here.”
Even without him actively speaking inside my head, I could feel him—that golden thread running between us and binding us together. I hadn’t realized how much I’d missed it. The connection was so comforting—it felt like belonging, like home.
An hour later, we arrived at the gate, and I gasped as it opened to reveal a massive crowd of people.
Most of them were standing back, though, with just Nemo and a few of his men and my crew waiting near the gate.
Wolf and I rode up to them, and Mac stepped forward, his intense gaze fixed on me.
All of me felt shaky as Mac reached up toward me and helped me dismount, but my feet didn’t even touch the ground.
He pulled me against his body and held me in a fierce hug, with his arms wrapped around my lower waist and my legs dangling.
My arms went around his neck, and his face burrowed into my hair.
Pain stabbed through my chest, but I just closed my eyes and pressed my face against his neck, breathing through it.
I was starting to love the smell of peppermint soap.
Neither of us said anything, but our emotions were a sudden summer storm raging around us.
I could feel his heart pounding in his chest, his overwhelming relief that I was home, and a soft, tender concern.
“Mac, put her down.” Sam sounded annoyed.
Mac took a shuddering breath and set me on my feet. “Welcome home,” he said, smiling wide enough that both dimples popped out.
Sam elbowed him out of the way a second later and hugged me. Raven surprised me by going next, gripping my shoulders and scanning me closely.
“I’m so sorry about Sky,” I whispered, unable to help myself.
“For fuck’s sake, quit apologizin’ for shit you didn’t do,” she muttered, but her eyes were softer than I’d ever seen.
Clarity openly cried as she hugged me. Griz hugged me so gently it made my throat ache.
Apple flew across the patchy grass, threw herself into me, and sobbed.
Jax beamed, and Nemo smiled, and all of them looked so genuinely happy to see me.
In return, I managed a shaky smile and called Roe over from where he was huddled by Lee.
Apple clung to my neck as I introduced Roe to everyone, stumbling slightly over Trey’s name as I explained how we’d met.
Roe attached himself to my side, his fingers clutching my jacket.
“In a few minutes, I’d like everyone to come to my house to get all the details straight,” Nemo said.
My stomach churned, and I crouched on the ground to set Apple on her feet. She didn’t let go of my neck, leaning into me as she and Roe silently studied each other.
“Sorry I can’t hold you longer,” I said. “You’re just gettin’ so big, my arms get tired.”
Truthfully, I felt weak and shaky, and I desperately hoped I just needed some more rest.
“Where am I gonna live?” Roe asked abruptly, and his voice was so small and scared that it broke my heart.
“You’re welcome to stay with me for now,” I said. “We don’t have to figure it all out right this second, okay?”
He nodded, but the fear in his face didn’t fade.
“You want to come swing with me?” Apple asked him abruptly.
A month ago, Leda had convinced Mac and Griz to hang a crude swing in one of the taller pine trees. It wasn’t anything special, just a thick rope with a large stick tied to one end, but the kids loved it. Roe glanced up at me, frowning.
“It’s okay, you can go play,” I smiled.
Roe gave Apple a shy nod and followed as she led the way, already talking a mile a minute. Wolf talked quietly to Mac and Nemo while the rest of the Fangs unpacked the horses. Sam sidled over and wrapped an arm around my waist.
“You sure you’re feelin’ okay?” he asked, a slight furrow between his brows.
I leaned into him gratefully. “I’m tired, and most everything hurts,” I said honestly.
“Let’s head to Nemo’s,” he suggested, “We can sit on his comfy couches and wait for everyone.”
I nodded and let him tell Mac what we were doing, but as soon as they heard the plan, my entire crew elected to walk to Nemo’s with me. I didn’t mind; I was grateful for their company. The walk wasn’t very long, but by the time we got there, I felt even worse, shaky and nauseous.
“Em, you okay?” Griz asked with a frown.
“I don’t feel great,” I admitted.
“You look pale,” Raven said bluntly.
“You look like you’re about to be sick,” Mac muttered, scanning me closely.
“I might be,” I muttered.
Sam started climbing the handful of steps leading to Nemo’s porch, but I stopped, clinging to the rough wooden railing. The stairs looked impossibly steep.
“What’s wrong?” Mac asked, his voice sharper.
“I’m sorry,” I mumbled, unsure why exactly I was apologizing.
“Em, what?—”
Could anyone else hear that ringing noise?
“Em? Em! Grab her?—”
“—know you well enough to tell when there’s something you want to say.”
A bitter laugh.
“Wolf, c’mon, what is it?”
“I told her the other night.”
“Told her what?”
“That I don’t think she killed Dune.”
“Oh shit. How’d she react?”
“She didn’t.”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, she didn’t react, and then she apologized for not reacting. She said she doesn’t know why, but a lot of times, she goes numb and doesn’t feel anything.”
A soft, knowing sigh.
“I’m such an asshole.”
“Wolf—”
“I should’ve listened to you. You were right. You’re always right.”
“Wolf—”
“I’ve fucked this up every step of the way, Sable. She was right. I didn’t want to feel guilty. I did want her to be a monster cause if she wasn’t, that meant everything… everything ? —”