Chapter 26
Amy didn’t sleep well that night. This was for a variety of reasons, all of them rattling around inside her head. At first she found herself thinking, of all people, about Gavin, wondering what he was doing and if he had really removed all his stuff from her flat. She had heard absolutely nothing from him and if Lucy had seen anything of him at the gym, she hadn’t mentioned it. The other man who occupied her thoughts was, of course, Adam. The way the evening had ended had been far from the sexually charged scenario Lucy had painted or, indeed, the more intimate and romantic vision she herself had harboured. It had all been going so well: the restaurant, the meal, their conversation, the walk in the woods. To her mind, everything had been moving smoothly towards a much more romantic conclusion.
But he had just gone off and left her.
What was the problem? They were both grown-ups and she felt sure he must have realised the way she was feeling about him. If not, it showed that he was far less sensitive than she had imagined. She was quite sure that he didn’t share his brother’s sexual orientation – not least as she felt sure Pierpaolo wouldn’t have been so obvious in his matchmaking if that had been the case. Could it be there was another woman already in Adam’s life? If so, neither he nor the other two men had mentioned her existence. Could it be that he was just so totally fixated on his job that romance didn’t enter his head? Alternatively – and this was the most disconcerting of all – maybe he just didn’t fancy her.
She was under no illusion as to how she felt about him. She liked him a lot and he ticked so many boxes in her head. Apart from his physical attributes, he was bright, creative, articulate and caring – his relationship with her father proved that. She couldn’t help reflecting that the immediate impact he had made on her was not dissimilar to what her father had written in his letter about his first impression on seeing her mother. She knew full well that if Adam had responded as she had hoped when they had got back to her place after their dinner, she would have abandoned herself in his arms.
But he hadn’t.
She spent quite a lot of the night tossing and turning, wondering why and hoping that it wasn’t just a simple matter of a lack of chemistry on his part. By the time she was woken by a cold wet nose prodding her bare shoulder at seven o’clock next morning she had reluctantly come to the conclusion that this had to be the most likely answer. In all probability he didn’t feel the same way about her as she did about him and that was that. And if this were the case, what did it mean as far as the big decision about whether to return to London or stay here permanently was concerned?
As she and Max walked up through the vineyard and across the fields in the blissful cool of the morning air, she did her best to tell herself that the decision to give up her job wasn’t dependent upon Adam. Yes, he would have been the icing on the cake, but if she were to decide to uproot herself from London and come here to live, it needed to be for more than just one man, however desirable. If she moved here it would be for this wonderful house and all this land in which she was now wandering about, as well as the attraction of the much less stressful environment of Sant’Antonio. The other great attraction of this place was, of course, the big black dog at her side and she knew she would miss him if she returned to her old life in London. But then there was always the question of what she would do if she did settle here.
It appeared that today the Labrador had sensed that something was troubling her and, unusually, instead of disappearing into the vines, he trotted along with her and she soon found herself addressing him directly. He didn’t give her much in the way of answers, but it was good to have somebody to talk to all the same.
‘Look at it this way, Max. If I sell this place, I can buy myself somewhere really nice in London. The sky’s the limit as far as my job’s concerned, too. I know I can make it to the top and the satisfaction of doing that would be immense, wouldn’t it?’
She stopped and looked down at him. He stopped as well and looked up at her while he rubbed his head against her bare leg. It was hard to work out whether he was agreeing or disagreeing.
‘Yes, I know the specialist told me to take life a bit easier, and of course I have to make sure I do that. My health is the most important thing, isn’t it? But I can do that, can’t I? I can take things easy. I’m not stupid, you know.’
He sat down and started scratching one ear with his rear leg. It wasn’t clear whether he thought she was stupid or not, but she decided that in the interests of balance she had better give him the other side of the argument as well.
‘If I give up the day job and move here I’ll have clean air, pretty much guaranteed sunshine, wonderful food and drink, and I’ve already made quite a few friends. Above all, talking of friends, I’ll have you, Max.’
This time it looked as though she had got through to him as he stopped scratching, stood up and started licking her knee. She reached down and tousled his ears.
‘Who needs a man when I’ve got you at my side? I bet if I ask Signora Grande, she’ll let me keep you, and that would be good, wouldn’t it?’
Tired of licking her knee, he sat down again and rested himself against her so heavily that she felt sure that if she moved sideways he would fall over. Taking this as a sign of solidarity, she carried on.
‘The thing is, Max, what the hell would I do with my time if I go for it and decide to settle down over here: do a bit of gardening, go for some long walks with you and probably drink far too much wine? I need a job that gives me more than that. You have to understand that.’
This time when she glanced down at him he was licking his private parts. She decided not to get into whether this indicated how he felt about her predicament.
She spent the morning doing little jobs around the house until there was a knock at the door. She opened it hoping to see Adam and found Signora Grande instead.
‘Thank you so much for looking after Max, Amy. That’s been such a help. My sister’s had a bypass operation and she’s doing much better now, so I can take Max off your hands if you like.’
‘I’m very pleased to hear about your sister, but Max has been no trouble at all. Very much the opposite. Would you like a cup of coffee?’
While Amy made the coffee, she told Signora Grande to feel free to have a wander around the house to see what the builders had done, and by the time the coffee was made, the old lady joined her in the kitchen, nodding approvingly.
‘They’ve done so well. You’ve done so well. It’s a lovely house now – I mean, it always has been a lovely house, but it badly needed modernising.’ She took a seat at the kitchen table and caught Amy’s eye. ‘Does this mean you’re going to come here to live permanently? I do hope so.’
For now, all Amy could answer was, ‘I’m still trying to make up my mind.’
After lunch she called Adam and agreed to drop in at four after taking Max for another walk in the woods. She had told Signora Grande she was happy to hang onto the dog until the weekend and she had distinctly got the impression that the old lady was only too pleased to leave him with her.
This time she remembered to take a basket with her when they went walking in the woods and she was delighted to find no fewer than half a dozen decent porcini mushrooms. She was so proud of these that she took them into Adam’s studio to show off when she went to see him and he looked impressed.
‘You’re really slipping into Tuscan life, aren’t you? Next thing I hear you’ll be down at the bar playing cards with the old men of the village or out in the piazza playing bocce.’ He gave her a smile. ‘So does this mean you’re going to move over here permanently?’
That question again. She took a deep breath. ‘Do you think I should?’
She saw him hesitate. ‘I suppose that depends on you, your job and so on. It’s a big decision.’
She couldn’t miss the fact that he hadn’t asked her to stay. ‘I’m still trying to make up my mind but I haven’t got much time. Today’s Thursday and I need to be back in the office on Monday so that gives me two more days at the most. To be honest, I’ve left it so late I don’t really have much choice. I can’t just give them a call and say, “Sorry I won’t be in next week, I’m quitting,” even if I wanted to.’
‘And do you want to?’
She answered honestly. ‘Part of me wants to. I’ve grown to love Sant’Antonio and I’ve made some good friends here – like you and your brother, for example.’ He showed no reaction so she carried on. ‘I love l’Ospedaletto and I love the relaxed atmosphere here in comparison to the hustle and bustle of London, but…’
‘But…?’
‘But I love my job. You must understand that. You love your job as well, don’t you? Can you imagine giving that up?’
He shook his head decisively. ‘Danny’s been telling me for ages to give it up, or at least to cut right back but, like you, I love what I do.’ He gave her a little smile. ‘Maybe if we finally win an Oscar I’ll think about it.’
That sounded pretty conclusive. He had no intention of giving up what was, without doubt, a dangerous job, and she was scared stiff of hooking up with somebody who could disappear from her life in an instant – just like her first father had done. Well, she told herself, at least that removed Adam as a reason to stay here. When she got home tonight she would book her return flight.
Was she disappointed? Of course she was.
She came and sat next to him at his desk while they scrolled down through the various questions to be answered for the award entry and she enjoyed feeling him near her. It was a struggle to resist the urge to cosy up against him but she managed it. It was now looking as though she was on her way back to London and it made a lot of sense to keep him at arm’s length. Besides, like the previous night, it wasn’t as if he was demonstrating any particular desire for rapprochement.
It took less than an hour to go through everything with him and insert the appropriate answers on the intricate forms. When they had finally finished, she stood up and decided the best thing to do would be to go back to l’Ospedaletto, book her return flight to London, and try not to think about him. She knew it wasn’t going to be easy but he had made his position pretty clear and there was no point flogging a dead horse.
He stood up as well. ‘Thank you so much, Amy. That saved me an awful lot of time and effort. When did you say you’re leaving?’
‘It depends when I can find a seat on an aircraft, but Sunday at the latest.’
‘That only gives us two days, then.’
To do what?She almost felt like screaming it at him but, again, she kept a lid on it and just nodded.
He glanced at his watch. ‘I need to do something to say thank you for all the help. How about dinner tonight or tomorrow?’ He stopped and gave a grunt of annoyance. ‘Dammit, not tonight, I’m tied up with a conference call with the US, but let’s do something tomorrow.’
‘You already bought me that lovely dinner last night. There’s no need to keep rewarding me; I’m not a Labrador who needs treats.’ This came out sounding a bit bitter so she was quick to deflect his attention to where Max was still stretched out on the tiles, half-asleep. ‘Not that I give this one any treats. He just seems quite naturally affectionate.’ She resisted the urge to add, ‘Unlike you’.
‘It’s not just to say thank you. I really enjoy your company.’
She caught his eye. ‘And I enjoy your company as well, but it’s probably best if we don’t get too used to it as we’ll be going our separate ways very soon.’
This time it was his turn to make no reply, just to nod. She reached up and kissed him on one cheek. ‘Time for me to go home and think about how I’m going to cook these mushrooms.’
‘Surely we could meet up tomorrow night? I’d really like that.’ He looked and sounded unusually disheartened and her hard-won resolve crumbled.
‘I tell you what, why don’t you come to my place tomorrow night and I’ll give you a porcini salad followed by fried porcini. You do like mushrooms, don’t you?’
A broad smile appeared on his face. ‘As it happens, I love mushrooms, but even if I hated them I would still say yes, as it’ll give me a chance to spend a few more hours with you. Are you sure you feel like cooking?’
‘I don’t think I’ll be frying too many more porcini mushrooms when I get back to London so, yes, come round to my place.’ A sudden thought occurred to her. ‘And while you’re there you could go down into the cellar and take a look at my father’s wine collection.’
‘It’s a date. Thanks. I’ll look forward to it.’
The fact was that so would she, even though she felt sure she was on a hiding to nothing.