17.
FARRAH
“Hey, sweetie!” I greeted my son as he walked into my office. “How many officers are they going to send for one stolen car?”
As he sat down across the desk from me, Colt smiled at my question, but something was off. I remembered that look from years ago when he’d been unable to hide his disappointment in something I’d done, or not done, whatever the case might have been.
“I’m not here about the car.”
“Shit. I was hoping they’d found it.”
“Did it really get stolen?” Colt asked. The words sounded innocent enough but felt like a slap because I understood the meaning behind them. Before I could answer, he asked, “Have you been using again?”
I took a deep breath and reminded myself that he was only reacting to the mom he knew as a child and not the woman I was today, but it still hurt.
When I didn’t answer quickly enough, he sighed and said, “We can get you help before your PO finds out. Maybe they’ll go easy on you if you voluntarily check into a rehab or something.”
“I didn’t sell the car or loan it to a deadbeat boyfriend. I didn’t wreck it or leave it on the side of the road because I used what little money I had on drugs instead of gas. I’m not hiding it in a friend’s garage because I’ve missed umpteen payments and the bank is trying to repo it. Someone, well, to be specific, we’re 99% sure it is a woman named Margie or another woman named Jill. Hell, they can’t live without each other at this point, so they’re probably in it together. They took the keys out of my mailbox where my friend, Ginger, put them after she drove my car home yesterday evening.”
“Why did she have to drive you home?”
“She didn’t drive me home. I didn’t come home.”
“Where were you?”
“Is this my son butting into my grown business or Officer Seaverson interrogating a junkie he doesn’t trust?”
“Does it help that it’s a little more of the first than the second?” Colt asked.
“Moderately.” There was an uncomfortable silence before I said, “I took a UA and a hair follicle on Thursday, and Zoey has the results in my file. They were clean, by the way.”
“I’m sorry I doubted you.”
“And I’m sorry that I gave you three hundred reasons to doubt me over the years, but I completely understand why you do. A leopard doesn’t change its spots, but in my case, it goes to meetings and works really hard to stay clean.”
“A leopard, huh?” Colt asked with a shy grin.
“I’ve started to think of it as my spirit animal.”
“Have you noticed that when people spout that spirit animal shit it’s never anything normal? You don’t see people saying that their spirit animal is a goldfish or a gerbil. It’s always something fierce or rabid. Never anything blah.”
“Kind of like reincarnation. No one ever thinks they’re Joanna Schmoe from the east side of Boston in the 1940s. It’s always Marilyn Monroe or . . . who was the lady that got her head cut off?”
“How come in former lifetimes, everybody’s somebody famous?”
“Did you just quote Bull Durham to me, Colt Seaverson?” I asked in awe as I relaxed in my chair. Colt’s slow grin was enough of an answer, and I burst out laughing before I leaned forward and rested my arms on the desk again. “You did! Holy shit, I taught you something! It might not have been anything useful, but I’m happy to have passed on my love of movies.”
“It’s a classic. Of course I’ve seen it.”
“It’s a fantastic movie, but it’s not exactly a classic.”
“Mom, that movie is almost forty years old.”
I thought about how old I’d been the first time I saw it and gasped before I said, “You shut your foul mouth, young man.”
It was Colt’s turn to laugh, and he was still laughing when Lynn walked into my office.
He nodded at Colt as he walked around my desk and then leaned down and gave me a kiss before he asked, “You look upset. Any word on your car?”
“No, my son just told me I’m older than dirt and should curl up and die.”
Colt threw his head back and guffawed loudly before he choked out, “I didn’t say anything like that!”
“What did he really say?” Lynn asked.
“He told me that Bull Durham is almost forty years old.”
Lynn blinked a few times in shock before he said, “You don’t need that kind of negativity in your life, babe.”
“Is it horrible that I’m more upset to realize that I’ve been crushing on Kevin Costner for more than thirty freaking years than I am about the clunker that’s out there somewhere?”
“That car really was a beater,” Colt said as he wiped the tears from his eyes. “Did you have decent insurance on it or just liability?”
“I had full coverage since I still have two more payments,” I said sadly.
“That could be a good thing, right? Won’t you get a payout for it?” Colt asked.
“She should.” Lynn winced when he looked at me and said, “It’s not gonna be much, but it’s something, right?”
“It was all I could afford, and I needed to start building my credit.”
“There ya go! A silver lining,” Colt said cheerfully. “The death trap is gone, and you’ll get a payout you can use as a down payment on something that’s not quite as old as Bull Durham.”
I ignored Colt and asked Lynn, “What age is it too late to start practicing child abuse as a hobby?”
“Violence is never the answer, especially when the kid has a badge. I’m pretty sure assaulting an officer, no matter how much he needs it, will not go over well with your parole officer.”
“That’s one thing you never did, Mom. No sense in starting now,” Colt said as he stood up and rested his hands on the desk. “No hard feelings?”
“None, but you should probably drink a big bottle of water after jumping to all those conclusions. I wouldn’t want you to get dehydrated.”
Colt burst out laughing and stuck his hand out to shake Lynn’s before he blew me a kiss and said, “Glad you got to see me.”
“Glad to see you leaving,” I retorted with a grin. “Love you.”
“Love you too,” Colt called out as he walked into the main office.
“What was that about?” Lynn asked as he leaned against the edge of my desk and looked at me with a curious expression.
“Past history jumping up to remind Colt of all the times I fucked up and make me wish that I’d been a better mother to him for the millionth time.”
“What did he say?”
“He was afraid that I was using again and had sold off my car or loaned it to a deadbeat. There were probably at least half a dozen scenarios going through his head because he lived with me through every shitty one of them.”
“Does that ever go away?”
“I guess we’ll see.”
“Let me know if it does. I’d like to know when I’ll be able to get a call from Leanne and not instantly think it’s because she’s in trouble.”
“You may get more insight from talking to Colt about this because he’s lived through it just like you are now.”
“But he’s become a helluva man who loves you anyway.”
“Yeah. I’m lucky like that.”
◆◆◆
“I guess since you’re without wheels, you can drive one of the vans over in the morning,” Zoey said as she wrote something down on her clipboard. She glanced at me and then Moe before she said, “Jill has informed me that she’s available to work all day tomorrow since Margie is in the wind.”
“I think I have Ebola, so I can’t work tomorrow. I’d hate to spread it to the innocent citizens of Rojo.”
Zoey looked at Moe with a bored expression before she said, “Wear a mask.”
I choked back a laugh, but Moe didn’t even try. She asked, “What sort of debilitating illness would I have to have to get out of working with Jill all fucking day?”
“At this point, even if you were three steps from death, I’d prop you up in a chair and have you guard the cashbox.”
“It’s like that, huh?” Moe asked.
“You two trust each other, and I trust both of you. I’m not saying that I don’t trust the other girls, but it’s easier for things to get miscalculated if there are too many hands in the till.”
“Miscalculated?” I asked.
“That’s an awfully big word to use for stolen,” Moe replied sarcastically.
“We’ll set up the entrance at one end of the booth and the checkout at the other so they have to pass you to get out. The others can meander around helping customers and answering questions while they make sure everything stays organized and stocked.”
“Is anyone else nervous, or is it just me?” I asked.
“Why are you nervous?” Zoey asked.
“This is our first foray out in the world together, and all of those people probably already know who we are.”
“Do you expect them to show up with torches and pitchforks to run you out of town, or what?”
“Maybe?” I answered, but it was more of a question than a statement.
“Probably,” Moe chimed in.
“Some people may clutch their pearls when they learn that y’all are all hardened criminals, but those people can fuck off. They don’t deserve any of our plants. They’d probably just kill them with their toxic personalities anyway.”
“You’re so good to us, Zoey.”
“If there are any problems, we’ve got backup. Y’all will be fine,” Zoey explained.
“Backup?” Moe asked.
“Janis will be selling baked goods on one side of us, and Dixie will be on the other side with samples of her most popular catering items. Piper and Frankie’s coffee truck will be directly across from our setup, and Dylan Conner’s food truck will be right next to hers.”
“Oh, God,” Moe moaned. “I can go have some appetizers from Grazie’s, barbecue from Rubb My Butt, then a coffee with some of Janis’ things for dessert. I’m just going to make the circuit over and over again throughout the day. You’ll have to roll me home after we close.”
“And we get to do this every Saturday until fall,” I reminded her.
“Shit. I’m going to have to actually go to the gym to keep myself healthy. Maybe it will make you quit pestering me.”
I laughed before I said, “If not, you’re gonna balloon up like that blueberry girl from your favorite movie.”
Zoey burst out laughing because she’d heard this argument before, and Moe didn’t disappoint when she went on a rant about how creepy that classic film was and how sure she was that Willy Wonka was a serial killer and the grandpa was a deadbeat grifter. We listened to her go on for a few minutes, laughing all the while, until Jill walked into the office with her sour expression and made us want to choke her the second she opened her mouth.
“The other girls swear that Margie is the one that stole your clunker of a car, so I need you to tell them to shut the fuck up before I do it myself.”
“If she doesn’t have my car, then where is she, Jill?” I asked.
“I’m not her keeper!”
“Maybe not, but the two of you are peas in a pod, and she follows you around like a lost puppy. You know where she is, and you know what the fuck she’s doing. What I want to know is why you aren’t with her.”
Jill glared at Moe before she looked at Zoey and said, “I thought we were supposed to be rational and non-judgemental while we helped each other work through our recovery and reintegration into society.”
“Did you manage to make it in for your test today, Jill?” Zoey asked. She looked at her watch and said, “You’ve got two hours before the clinic closes, so I’d get moving if I were you. I’d hate for you to miss it.”
“I’m looking for a different clinic. I don’t trust the one you chose.”
“You’ll go to the one I specified before it closes today, or you’re out of the program,” Zoey threatened.
“Fine!” Jill spat before she spun around and stomped out of the office.
I could hear her muttering under her breath until the front door closed, and we all sat there quietly until Zoey asked, “She’s high right now, isn’t she?”
“No. She’s got the itch right now. That’s why she’s having such a problem regulating her emotions,” I explained.
“She was out there roaming around the cut flower field again during lunch,” Moe said as she watched Jill through the office window. “She’s going out there right now, actually.”
“Why?” Zoey asked. “When I asked her about it, she said she was imagining how beautiful it would be once everything started to bloom, but I don’t believe her.”
“She lost something out there,” I said quietly. “There’s no other reason for her to be wandering around like that.”
“Lost something?”
“She hid something, and she can’t find it. That’s why those holes are there. It’s not groundhogs, it’s a rat named Jill.”
I nodded in agreement with Moe before I said, “I thought the same thing.”
“Do you know anyone with a drug dog?” Moe asked. When Zoey nodded, Moe shrugged and asked, “Think they might wanna come take a tour and check out what a great job we’ve done so far?”
Zoey’s smile was almost blinding when she said, “Moe, you’re a damn genius.”
“I do what I can.”