Chapter Thirteen #4
A mind as bright, such wit and mirth stoke my desire.
Six weeks I woo’ed, yet deceived – such a fool,
Afraid to bear my heart and truth, my pride
Has rendered me unworthy of this jewel.
What sorrow haunts me, bereft of my bride.
Forsaken lady fair, I beg of you,
Fidelity I promise, as I live,
My oath to worship, always speak true,
And to deserve your love, if you forgive.
I humbly seek to make amends somehow,
And celebrate exchanging lovers’ vows.”
Mr. Bingley ceased playing the instrument and reached into a little basket at his side. He threw a handful of scraps of colored ribbon into the air, and then another. “You must imagine this to be fireworks,” he said, repeating the gesture several more times.
Mr. Worthing leapt off the piano and landed gracefully on the gravel path before her, swept into a low bow, and then reached for her hands. “Elizabeth, I know I must explain my actions more fully, but I hope this has persuaded you that my regard was no falsehood.”
From the periphery of her vision, Elizabeth saw Kitty bounce up on her toes and bring her hands to her mouth as she called, “Say yes!”
Elizabeth laughed softly, raking her eyes over the ludicrous but very dear sight of the man she had fallen in love with.
He had made quite an ass of himself in an effort to regain her affection, and she was every bit as impressed by it as he seemed to hope.
Even so, she could not countenance being so easily won.
“You must atone a little further, sir.” She went behind the makeshift Cascade and collected a bucket of water, and then gleefully dumped it over Mr. Worthing’s head.
He closed his eyes but made no effort to escape this punishment; Kitty and Mr. Bingley applauded.
“But, yes, Mr. Dar Mr. Worthing, I will allow you to explain your wickedness.”
He clasped her hand in his with a look of gratitude and relief. He was rather dashing with his tunic so drenched, and Elizabeth blushed when he noticed how she looked at him. “Will you walk with me? Do you like the lanterns?”
“Yes, and yes.” Elizabeth happily took his arm, and he gave their companions a look over his shoulder that sent them scattering, before leading Elizabeth through the cheerfully lit garden.
When they had strayed far enough from the house for her to feel the tranquility of being alone with him, she looked expectantly at Mr. Worthing.
His damp tunic still clung to him, and she averted her gaze, determined to hear him without being swayed by his absurd yet attractive appearance.
Mr. Worthing cleared his throat. “I am excruciatingly sorry for deceiving you, Elizabeth. It is inexcusable, but I do have an explanation for my actions, if you will permit me to give you an account of how I came to use the name Darcy.”
“I have realized that you must have done so long before we met; it could not be any ruse to gain my affections dishonorably.”
“And yet I fear I rather have.” He sighed and raked a hand through his hair, then tugged off his ruff and tossed it aside.
“When I left university, I was loath to part with my friends. They would all go on to join London society with their families – they all had living parents, and beyond their endeavors on the marriage mart, they would largely be idle, as well as merry. I was meant to return to the responsibilities of my estate, alone but for a ten year old girl, of no relation to me, who had lately been left to my care. I had not the luxury of my wealthier peers, in taking a grand tour, but my friends and I decided to tour the north of England, the peaks and the Lake District.”
Mr. Worthing took a deep breath, looking a little nervous as he made his uncommonly long speech.
“It was then that I first used the alias of Will Darcy. A stupid bet with Finneas Culpepper, who bested us all at fencing – our forfeit was that the rest of us must give absurd false names throughout our travels together. When I met your cousin Richard, we had all just toured Pemberley, and the name Darcy was the first thing that came to mind. I was greatly affected by the story of the family, and I had not my friends’ sense of humor in selecting something as outlandish as the false names they gave you that day in the park. ”
“Perceval Ramsbottom, indeed,” Elizabeth laughed. “But you told Richard you name was Darcy? He must have been quite curious.”
“He was, a little, but my friends talked us out of any suspicion – I could hardly have known Richard had just taken over the management of Pemberley, on behalf of the remaining Darcys.”
Elizabeth let out a ponderous hum. “How curious that you should be as struck by my aunt’s sad history as I have always been. It seems we have the same reason for being drawn to the name Darcy. You know how I adore Lady Anne, after all she has suffered.”
“I am sorry if it has given her any distress, the name I have chosen. She must not like to hear it. I never meant any claim on being her Fitzwilliam Darcy. Just carefree Will Darcy, a cheerful fellow unburdened by the many duties of William Worthing. Once my friendship with Richard continued beyond my journey north, I was obliged to continue on, as he knew me. He even introduced me to others as Darcy. Perhaps I might have told him the truth – I hardly know why I let it go on so long, save for perhaps a wish to be someone else, and lead a different life. Wildewood holds many unpleasant recollections of my youth, for my guardian’s wife was not a kind woman, certainly not a mother. ”
Elizabeth squeezed his arm, offering him a look of compassion. She had perhaps been more fortunate in her own guardian, for though Lady Catherine could be severe, Elizabeth’s childhood was not without many years of happy memories.
He let out a great, heavy sigh and shook his head, his hand resting atop hers. She allowed it, still listening attentively.
“I believe that the man you came to know in London is as much William Worthing as Will Darcy, for I never spoke any falsehoods beyond my name, Elizabeth. In my time with you, I was perhaps more myself than I have ever felt, something beyond the man I am at home, or in town. Despite the great wrong of my deception, it felt utterly and perfectly right. I believe I do not presume too much in supposing that your feelings are as strong as my own – strong enough to overcome the deficiency of my name not truly being Darcy. If that is what first drew you to me, I shall not repine, but I hope that since coming to know me, such as I am, that your own impressions of me have not altered – that you can love me, still.”
Elizabeth stroked his cheek. “You poor, stupid man. Before you met me, you thought you needed to be someone else to enjoy your life? That will never do – we are going to have an incandescently joyful life together, whatever your name, though it is a pity I shall not have the pleasure of calling you Darcy.”
“I could never be content as William Worthing, unless you are Mrs. Worthing,” he said, turning his face to kiss her wrist.
“Elizabeth Worthing, how droll that sounds!”
“Then perhaps I shall call you Lizzy, as you permit everyone else to do, and you may call me William.”
“William, I think we shall be happier than we have any right to be – we shall make our own memories at Wildewood, and banish all the painful ones.”
He encircled his arms around her and drew her into a tender embrace. “You have already made me the happiest of men.”
“You have done the same for me, more than I can say. The pair of us will – oh! The three of us, I should say, with dear Kitty here….”
“If sodding Bingley does not carry her off,” William grumbled.
Elizabeth laughed. “Oh, dear. She will be very cross with me for forging you so swiftly! But I hope she will allow Mr. Bingley to make amends for his share in this mischief. But why did he do it?”
“To vex me, probably. He overheard me telling you where Wildewood is, and decided to sabotage my carriage while I was staying with him at his sister’s house. He got here two days before me and began wooing my ward, because none of the ladies in London fancied him.”
“How very like him! But it is just the sort of thing to inspire my sister’s fancy! I think them very well suited.”
“I think them both mad! Though, I am pleased that you like my ward – I knew you would, but I had not imagined you would grow quite so intimate so quickly.”
“You are prodigiously ill-informed, William. You really do not know?”
He tensed. “What is it, Lizzy?”
She gave a hum of contentment at the gentle way he spoke her name. “When I call Kitty my sister, I am speaking literally. She is my half-sister. Oh, tell me you did not know, and withhold the truth.”
“What? Why would I have? It must only have been inducement for you to… but how?”
Elizabeth told William more of her own tragic history than she had ever done before, explaining the death of her mother just a year after marrying the late Mr. Cardew, and how his fractious parting with Lady Catherine had ever been a barrier to any knowledge of her half-sister.
“But that is astonishing, he cried. “I never knew anything of Kitty’s mother; I am sorry to say it, but I do not even remember her name. His wife, my late guardian’s widow, did not like her new husband to mention her predecessor.
And you never spoke of having another sister, when we were in London. ”
“It is not the sort of thing one blurts out. Besides, I think sometimes it comforts Lady Catherine to speak of Jane and I as if we are quite her own. She has a great love for my mother’s memory, but since she lost her own daughter, she has kept us rather closer.”
“What a sensational twist of fate – perhaps if my name could not be some token of destiny between us, this marvelous coincidence must be proof enough that we were fated to meet, to love one another.”
“I believe it is, and I might selfishly wish to keep Kitty here with us always, but can you not approve of her love of Mr. Bingley, if it endures his trickery? You might be brothers.”