Chapter 19 Lane #2
She gives me one last wave, and I watch as she glides through the security checks before strolling past the departure gates’ long glass walls.
I LEAN ON THE KITCHEN island, hunched over my phone, tapping the ground with my foot.
I messaged Lois to check she got home okay, and I’ve been waiting for her to reply for ten minutes now.
I scroll through socials, looking for news of a plane crash or something. It’s official: I’m fucking losing it.
LOIS: Made it safe and sound!
Finally, the message lands in my inbox and my chest unclenches.
LOIS: My dad drives like a grandpa. It’s definitely gotten worse since summer…
LANE: Driving is a skill, you know
LOIS:
LANE: Did you ditch the coat yet?
LOIS: Not yet, I literally just got in. My mom and brothers are waiting for me in the living room. #ambush
LANE: Good luck with that.
LOIS: If you don’t hear from me tomorrow morning…
LANE: Kirk’s the bad guy, here!
LOIS: I know, but they don’t know the whole story yet. Plus I’ve been living with a stranger the past four months! #RedFlag
LANE: #Triggered
LOIS: #OverAndOut
I hate how my footsteps echo in the empty apartment, though I’m feeling a little better now. I settle down on my bed with a book, but none of the words are sticking. I give it two hours before blasting off another message.
LANE: So?
I can see she’s typing, but a minute later, I’m still hanging, when suddenly my phone starts to ring.
“Well, this is a first. I was so shook I almost didn’t pick up.”
“It’s taking too long to write it all out.” She laughs.
I don’t tell her, but I’m so happy to hear her voice.
“How’d it go?”
She sighs. “So, obviously, they already knew.”
“They did? The whole story?”
“Kirk’s parents spilled. Guess that makes it easier for me, in a way. But something tells me their golden boy didn’t tell them everything.”
“Why didn’t your parents ever ask about it? Weren’t they worried about where you were living?”
“I’m the eldest, Lane. They trust me to just figure my shit out. I gotta say, my dad did flinch a little when I told him about you, though.”
“That’s on you. You should never have told them I’m hot.”
She bursts out laughing, and I grin, pleased with myself. On the other end of the line, I hear a door creak open, and I picture her throwing herself down on the bed.
She yawns. “What are you doing?”
“I’m in bed.”
“Oh, really? I thought you’d be desperate to hit the couch.”
“That’s the plan for tomorrow.” I prop a pillow behind my head.
We spend a while chatting back and forth, until I hear soft snores over the line.
“You asleep?” I whisper.
Silence. I smile.
“Night,” I say to nobody in particular.
I shoot her a message to read tomorrow morning.
LANE: Just a heads-up: your snoring is worse than Lewis and Don combined!
The next night, we have another call. And the night after. And the evening after that. Every night, Lois falls asleep first, and I catch myself hanging on the other end, listening to her breathing. Slowly but surely, our bedtime calls become the one part of the day I actually look forward to.
CARTER: Just passing through—figured I’d swing by!
I’m tempted to say no, but that’s all I’ve been doing this entire break. Days have drifted by, and I’ve stayed holed up at home, alone on my couch.
The buzzer goes off, and I drag myself across the room to fling open the door. Carter’s standing there staring at me like I’m some exotic animal. I run a hand over my beard. It’s been a while since I shaved.
“Sorry to bother you, sir. It’s just—I could’ve sworn my best friend used to live here.”
“You coming in, or what?” I turn back to the couch.
“Lane?” he yells as he follows, looking from left to right. “Lane? Where are you, buddy?”
“What is wrong with you?” I collapse onto the cushions.
“What is wrong with you? Dude, have you looked at yourself lately?”
I throw an arm over the backrest and stare at him, one eyebrow raised. “It’s not the first time I’ve leaned into the rugged look, Cart.”
He lifts up a pizza box. “Where’s the coffee table?” He glances around the room. “Coffee table, come out, come out, wherever you are!”
“Cut it out!”
I toss a dirty sock at his face, and he catches it, holding it at arm’s length as he perches on a barstool, lip curled.
“Why don’t you tell Dr. Carter what’s been going on with you lately?” He reaches for the notepad on the counter.
“I’m not depressed, man. Just on break.”
“I see.” He scribbles something down, gesturing with his pen for me to continue, deepening his voice into a pseudo-professional baritone. “Tell me about your childhood.”
“Can I catch a break, here?”
When my phone starts buzzing on the armrest, I lunge for it.
LOIS: My dad’s latest obsession? Waffles.
I’m gonna gain back all the weight I lost… #NoHope
My fingers dart frantically across the screen as we fire off messages, and I’m so absorbed in our conversation, I forget Carter is even there.
LOIS: My mom wants help to glue beads onto her fugly lampshade. #KillMeNow. Talk later
I dispatch two smileys and set my phone aside with a sigh.
“How’s our Lois?” Cart smiles knowingly.
“Soaking up the sun.” I cross my arms behind my head.
“Must be nice, getting the place back to yourself, huh?”
I can hear the jokiness in his voice, and I think I know where he’s going with this.
“Quit looking at me like that.” I groan.
“Say it.”
“Say what?”
He smiles. “Just say it.”
He’s pissing me off, and he knows it.
“I know you better than you know yourself, my boy. Now—lemme hear you say it…”
He’s not going to drop it until I give him what he wants to hear.
“Fine!” My patience is wearing thin. “I kind of miss her, okay?!”
“Amen to that!” He slaps his hands down on his knees.
“She’s been up in my business for months now, Cart. Of course I’m gonna miss her a little!”
“Of course you are.” He opens his mouth to speak, but his phone rings, cutting him off.
Saved by the bell!
He slips away into my room, and I reach for the remote, absent-mindedly channel surfing as my mind starts wandering back to Lois, picturing her chowing down on waffles with her parents, laughing. It feels like she’s been away forever. Oh, fuck me. This is getting ridiculous.
Carter looks pissed when he gets back.
“What’s up?”
“Becca,” he says, massaging his temples.
“You guys fight?”
“No…”
“So what’s the problem?” I ask.
“She asked me to spend Christmas with her.”
“For real? Wow. Things are getting serious with you guys.”
“Yeah. I think I love her—crazy, right?”
“Mike would be proud of you, buddy.” I twist open a jar of peanut butter. “He was always the sensitive one.”
“Facts.”
I dig my spoon into the tub. “So when are you leaving?”
“I’m not.”
“How come?”
“There’s no way I’m leaving you all alone for Christmas, man.”
I roll my eyes. “Don’t fuck around, Cart. It’s just another day—I’ll survive. You don’t need to worry about me.”
“No way.” He shakes his head. “I’ve always done Christmas with you and Mike, and then just you—”
“And now just Becca. I’m serious, dude. I order you to accept.”
“Lane, I—”
“Life’s too short,” I say, my tongue thick with peanut butter.
“Deep, man.”
I shake my spoon at him. “Call Becca back.”
He twirls his phone around in his fingers, glancing at me, hesitant. I jump up and snatch it from him, hitting dial on her number. When she picks up, I get straight to the point.
“Becca, it’s Lane.”
“Bad Lane!” Carter lunges for his phone.
Becca sounds wary. “Everything okay?”
“Yup! Just wanted to let you know that Carter’s down for Christmas. I promised to be good while he’s away and not open the door to any strangers. I even swore to take a shower every day!”
She thanks me as I hand the phone back to Carter, and though his jaw is clenched, I can tell he’s happy.
Once he hangs up, he stares at me in silence for a moment, gnawing on a nail.
“Stop overthinking.”
He’s about to reply when my phone starts ringing. It’s Lois—which is weird for this time of day. My fingers are sticky with peanut butter, so I hit loudspeaker.
“Yup?”
“Are you okay?” Her voice sounds funny.
“Fine, yeah. Why?”
“Just checking. What are you up to?”
“I’m with Carter. Are you okay? You sound weird.”
“Did you guys get the microwave meals in for tomorrow night?”
“We’re going to the store later,” I lie, and Carter raises his eyebrows at me.
“Oh, really?”
Carter opens his mouth, but I hush him with a hand. He feels guilty enough as it is—I don’t need Lois feeling bad, too.
“Is he sleeping at your place?” she presses.
“Yeah.”
“On my couch?”
“Yeah.” I frown. I have no idea where this conversation is going.
She sighs heavily. “Okay, then.”
Silence settles between us.
“That all?”
“I am going to kick your ass to hell and back, you pathetic little liar!” she yells. “Becca just messaged me—and guess what? She’s super excited that Cart’s spending Christmas with her. Which means you’ll be spending it alone!”
“Fucking girls,” I sigh.
I glance at Carter, taking in how hard he’s grinning right now. I look away.
“So you weren’t planning on telling me, then?”
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because who the fuck cares?!”
She’s holding the phone away from her mouth, I can tell—I can make out muffled cussing.
“I’ll call you back in five,” she says.
I stare down at my phone, shell-shocked.
“You just got scolded like a little kid.” Carter laughs.
“Yeah—because of you!”
My phone is ringing again, but this time, I’m too scared to pick up.
“Answer it before you get a real spanking.”
I flip him off, but the bastard grabs the phone off me, sliding it back onto loudspeaker.
“You done yelling?” I grumble.
Lois clears her throat. “Your birthday is August twenty-eighth, right?”
“Why?”
“Just answer,” she says coolly.
“Yeah…”
I hear her whisper, a man’s voice murmuring somewhere behind her.
“You listen to me, you stubborn little shit—” she starts up again.
“You—”
“Zip it! Go to your room, pack a bag, and order yourself a cab for tomorrow morning.”
I stare at the phone in disbelief. “Excuse me?”
“Make it an early night. Oh, and insider tip: Set your alarm for six.”
“What the hell are you talking about?”
“Your flight leaves at nine forty-five tomorrow,” she says. “And I swear, if you miss it—”
“My flight? Lois, I don’t get it…”
Carter is practically on the floor laughing. I shoot him a dirty look. I’m so lost right now.
“My flight?” I repeat, and that’s when it dawns on me. “Wait a minute—are you seriously saying I should come spend Christmas with you?”
“Oh, there’s no should about it, Lane. My dad bought you a ticket. And it’s nonrefundable.”
“You’ve gotta be kidding me. There’s no way I’m crashing your parents’ place for Christmas!”
“See you tomorrow, Laney!” she singsongs like a maniac.
“No, Lois! I—”
“Oh, and pack a nice shirt. Hard pass on the denim.”
“Lois!”
“Safe travels!”
The little bitch hung up on me!
“This… this has got to be a joke, right?” I stammer.
Carter is clutching his stomach. “I don’t think it gets much more serious than this.”
“Fuck! There’s no way I’m heading down there!”
My phone beeps. An email from Lois.
“She actually fucking did it.” I jump to my feet. “She got me a fucking plane ticket!”
“Don’t worry about the cab—I’ll drop you on my way to Becca.”
“No way. There’s no way I’m doing this, Cart.”
“Why?”
“I can’t go and spend Christmas with a family I don’t know.”
“But you know Lois.”
“So what? It’s just too weird. And lame,” I add.
“Bullshit. You talked me into spending it with Becca, didn’t you?”
“Yeah, but she’s your girlfriend.”
“And this is Lois.”
“Who isn’t my girlfriend,” I snap.
He snickers. I feel like punching him in the face.
“Anyway, it’s too late. It would be rude to say no, now that your flight is booked and all. I brought you up to be a nice, polite young man.”
“Why does life hate me? This is a conspiracy.” I close my eyes. “Let me call her back.”
I dial her number, and the phone rings and rings. Just when I think I’m about to hit voicemail, a deep voice greets me.
“Lane, I take it?”
The man sounds friendly.
“Yeah,” I start.
“Did you get your ticket?”
“Yes, but—”
“Excellent! Lois will be there when you land. We can’t wait to meet her new friend.”
“Listen, sir, it’s really kind of you, and I appreciate it and all, but I can’t accept. Let me pay you back—”
“My daughter doesn’t take no for an answer, does she?” he interrupts.
“No, sir.”
“And I’m her father.” He pauses for effect. “See where I’m going with this?”
“The apple doesn’t fall far, huh?”
“You’re a fast learner, son. I like that. Your flight leaves at nine forty-five. If you miss it, my daughter will spend the rest of the break sulking—and that’s a price I’m not willing to pay. Did she tell you I’m a retired cop?” he adds. “I can arrest you for crimes against Christmas.”
I burst out laughing. He’s joking, right?
“Don’t make me get my Grinch on,” he shoots back in a gravelly voice.
Fuck! I hold the phone away from my ear and breathe out slowly, trying to rearrange my thoughts. I’m caught between curiosity and an instinctive urge to run for my life.
“We can’t wait to welcome you into our home.
” His voice now is gentle, sincere. “Don’t overthink it, kid.
I know my daughter hasn’t told me everything about her breakup, but one thing I do know is that you were there for her.
It makes no sense for you to be sitting there, all alone in Ohio. Ohio, for Christ’s sake!”
I don’t know what to say to that.
“And anyway—if you don’t come, she’ll make you pay.” He laughs.
“That much is for sure.”
“Finally, something we agree on. See you tomorrow?”
I close my eyes and shake my head. Somewhere, somehow, a reply makes its way to the surface.
“See you tomorrow,” I say.