Chapter 23 Lane
The sun is spilling in through the blinds, but I’m already wide awake.
Lois and I got back yesterday afternoon.
Classes start up again in a week, so I should be making the most of this and treating myself to an epic sleep-in—instead, I’m staring at the ceiling, trying to figure out what the hell happened down at the beach back in Florida.
I wish I could forget it ever happened, but I can’t stop reliving the moment.
This whole situation is driving me completely nuts, and the worst thing is, Lois hasn’t even mentioned it.
Not once. I thought she’d say something the next morning—but nope.
Nada. Sure, I sensed she was a little embarrassed over breakfast, but she just shook it off and went back to acting like normal.
When she fell asleep against me on the flight back to Sycamore I nearly jumped out of my seat and activated the damn oxygen masks.
Because yeah, I’m on edge—but seriously, what did I expect?
The whole thing was just to piss Kirk off.
It didn’t mean anything. I have no reason to be mad about it…
but still. I’m so pissed she just ran away, like what we did was shameful or something.
I’m pissed at her dick of an ex and the way he keeps weaseling his way back into her life.
And I’m just so pissed at her. Her and her damn tongue—soft and warm and wet—that I can still feel in my mouth.
“Fucking stop it!” I chastise myself, springing out of bed and heading straight for the shower.
Once I’m dressed, I make a beeline for the coffeepot.
As I’m pouring myself a cup, I look over at Lois.
She’s out cold on the couch, as if nothing ever happened.
Yeah. Because nothing ever did, you moron!
She stirs in her sleep, burying her head in the pillow, the comforter slipping off onto the ground, offering up a flash of skimpy pajamas.
Though they’re a faded gray and scattered with a freaking sheep pattern, I’m starting to get hot all of a sudden.
In fact, they’re making me want to rip them off her and pick up where we left off.
With every sip of coffee, my imagination wanders.
I picture walking over, sliding my hands under her T-shirt, her lips against mine…
Enough!
My boxers feel way too tight right now.
I lean my elbows against the kitchen island and exhale loudly. I glance over at the couch. Lois is stirring again, muttering nonsense in her sleep, turning over onto her side.
Great, now her ass is right there in front of me.
I slam my cup down on the counter. Jesus fucking Christ. There’s no way I’m letting things change between us.
Yeah, I loved the taste of her tongue, how her ass filled my hands, the warmth spreading between her legs—it’s just a human reaction.
It’ll pass. This is Lois, for fuck’s sake!
“Come on! Rise and shine!”
I have no reason to wake her up, but I need to snap out of this. I need her to stop making me feel this way.
“But we’re on break!” she murmurs.
She rolls onto her back and looks at me, squinting. I squint back. She sticks her tongue out at me, and I return the favor. That’s more like it. That I can handle.
She pads over to the kitchen, rubbing her eyes and stealing my coffee mug. She drains it before slinking off to the bathroom, yawning. I pour myself a fresh cup and shake my head. What happened in Fort Myers stays in Fort Myers, and that’s for the best—or so I keep telling myself, anyway.
Lois drifts back into the room. “What time you leaving?”
She’s talking about the New Year’s Eve party tonight. The one she doesn’t want to go to. Half the campus will be there, plus plenty of drink and girls, but I just don’t feel like it this year.
“Late afternoon. Sure you don’t want to come? Becca’s going,” I add.
“I’m sure. I’m exhausted—maybe I’m coming down with something. I just want to chill.”
Why do I get the feeling she’s not being straight with me? I step toward her and lay the back of my hand against her forehead. I want to kiss it so bad, but I hold strong.
“Quit playing nurse with me!” She laughs, brushing me off.
I take a step closer. “I think you’d like it.”
It was supposed to be a joke, but the air between us feels suddenly charged. Lois bats her lashes and bites her lip, and an image flashes into my mind: me, striding across the floor, pinning her to the wall behind her.
It’s official: I’m completely obsessed.
I force myself to meet her eyes. “Why are you staring at my eyebrows?”
“No reason.”
She steps to the side and makes for the fridge, leaving me standing there swaying. It’s like she is the only thing holding me up.
“I’m gonna head down and pick up some groceries,” she says. “Need anything?”
I shake my head. It’s only when the door slams shut behind her that I realize I’ve been holding my breath. Her not coming tonight is a good thing—I could really do with a change of scenery, a reset, with any girl but her. The way I see it, getting laid is the only thing that can fix me.
I’m about to pour myself another coffee when I spot her little yellow coin purse, so I grab it and rush out into the hall, calling after her.
There’s no reply, and I figure she must be outside already.
I race down the five floors, spilling out onto the sidewalk, where I find her—deep in conversation with her ex.
As soon as Kirk spots me, he narrows his eyes.
“What’s up, buddy?”
I try to sound friendly, but I’m as cold as ice, and Kirk knows it.
Every time I see them together, it hits me straight in the gut.
He glares at me as I sidle up to Lois. I slide my hand down her back and leave it to rest on her waist as I pull her into me.
I haven’t touched her since Florida, and the warmth of her skin sets my heart racing as she wriggles against me.
Kirk turns to Lois. “See you at the party tonight?”
“I—”
“We have plans,” I answer for her.
I feel her stomach tighten. She looks up at me, searching my face.
“And groceries to pick up.” I wink at her.
I don’t even say bye to Kirk. I grab Lois’s hand and lead her far away from this guy and his punchable face. I squeeze her fingers and watch as she swings back, waving a quick, awkward goodbye over her shoulder. We get to the corner, and I still haven’t let go of her.
She looks down at our hands. “You didn’t have to do that, you know. We don’t have to do that, I mean. I think he gets the idea—”
“What idea?”
“That you… That I…” She sighs. “Just forget it.”
“Why does that guy live rent-free in your head?”
She stops in her tracks, and my excuse for holding on to her evaporates. I let go.
She stuffs her hands in her pockets and glares at me.
“It’s Kirk. I lo—”
She pauses mid-sentence, and we both swallow hard. Or I’m trying, anyway: My throat is as dry as sand.
She scowls. “I don’t want to talk about it. You always make fun of me.”
“I don’t.” If I sound surprised, it’s because I am.
“You do, Lane. Much less often these days, sure. But…”
I sift back through my memories. I don’t remember ever making fun of her. Okay, I might have teased her a little at the start—but that was ages ago now.
I tilt my head. “So talk me through it. I won’t lecture you, I swear.”
“Okay,” she starts. “Everything I’ve ever experienced has been with him. I guess you could say he was my only benchmark,” she explains. “In my head, it’s like everything leads back to him.”
“I don’t get it.”
And I really don’t. This guy dumped her ass months ago, and she’s still obsessing over him?
“I know you don’t, and that’s okay.”
Is Lois saying that asshole is the only guy she’ll ever want?
“How did it feel when I kissed you?”
The question comes spilling out of me, and it’s too late to take it back. Smooth… If I was hoping to act nonchalant, that was a fail right there.
Lois flushes, standing there in silence staring at me.
“What does that have to do with anything?” She starts chewing on a nail.
I can’t take my eyes off her mouth. I step closer, my gaze locked on her lips, watching as she widens her eyes. A car horn blares out somewhere down the street, shattering the moment into a thousand pieces.
“Seriously, Lois,” I snap. “You need to get out and live a little. You’re being weird about him.”
What I really want is to tell her she should sleep with other guys—screw her way to post-Kirk enlightenment. But I can’t bring myself to say it out loud.
She flashes me a thumb. “Your advice is always so solid, I’ll definitely keep it in mind.” She bats her lashes, plastering a smile on her face. “Anyway, why did you come down?”
“You forgot this.” I pull her coin purse out of my pocket and wave it at her. “Life hack number two: money is useful for buying stuff.”
“Yada yada yada… thanks.” She snatches it away from me. “Hey—why did you tell Kirk you aren’t going to the party?”
Because I wanted to piss him off. But also because deep down inside, I’d rather stay home.
“I changed my mind.”
“In the space of three minutes?”
“Yeah.”
“I was planning on chilling in front of the TV. So if you want to hang out, I’m the remote boss for tonight.”
“Sold.” I smile. “What do you say we go find us some microwave meals?”
“Best New Year’s Eve ever.” She smiles back.
Her cheeks are flushed pink as we head for the grocery store, and I shove down a flicker of disappointment.
When I asked about our kiss, I was hoping she’d say she felt the way I did.
But what would that change, anyway? It’s not like I want to date her, or anything.
It’s more of an ego thing. Plus the fact that I really could do with getting laid as soon as possible.
Back at the apartment, Lois decides to hit the books, and though I try to squeeze in a little study time myself, I can’t focus on anything except what she said about Kirk.
“Okay, Lane.” She slams her folder shut, and I jump. “Spit it out.”
“What?”
“You keep looking at me like you hate me. What have I done to displease his lordship now?”