Chapter 27 Lane
I’m hovering outside my front door, cussing under my breath.
This is my home—so why does it feel like I’m about to break in?
Waking up wrapped around Lois sent my head spinning, and this shitty day has stretched on and on ever since.
The big meeting I just had was a total shit show.
Despite Carter elbowing me under the table, my mind kept wandering off and playing back last night, sifting through a bunch of jumbled feelings.
As he drove me back home, Cart tried to get me to open up—but other than telling him to back off, I didn’t say a word.
What is there to say? I jumped in my car and claimed a few rides to kill time, driving Hope and Prudence to a fabric store, dodging their prying eyes.
I nearly asked for their thoughts on the situation but decided against it, and on my next ride, I nearly gave in to a flirty blonde, just as a way of getting Lois off my mind—even that was too much for me to handle.
Lois is probably home by now, and I don’t fucking know how to deal with her.
Up until yesterday, I could just slip into my usual act.
But that was before we slept together. Before I asked her to stay.
Before I felt her naked body shuddering against mine, and before I fell asleep with her in my arms, waking up to her draped over me.
Did I fuck up? I absolutely did. But it’s too late to turn back now, so I gear myself up and head inside.
I spot her shoes by the entrance, her jacket on the coat hook—but scanning the kitchen and living room, she’s nowhere to be seen.
“Lois?”
“Here!” she trills.
I toss my keys down on the side table and freeze.
Her voice is echoing down the corridor. Much too far away to be the bathroom.
I glance at the space where her bags were earlier.
They’ve vanished. I close my eyes and scratch my jaw.
She must be in my room, making a little space for herself, like I suggested yesterday.
The knot in my stomach tightens—it’s getting hard to breathe.
I’m torn. A part of me regrets asking her to stay, because I’m too scared of what that might mean.
Why the fuck did I do that? Because you slept together and it was the best sex of your life…
Yeah—it was out of this world. Nothing short of unforgettable, really.
But here are the facts: Lois loves Kirk, and I love my life just the way it is, and…
Shit, this girl has been messing with my head since the start, and I’m slowly starting to feel trapped.
Gathering up my courage in both hands, I make my way to the bedroom, breathing in and out, doing my best to look relaxed, but when I push open the door, my face crumples.
Slowly, I turn to the far end of the hallway, tension coiling in the pit of my stomach.
The door to my brother’s bedroom is open, light spilling in to flood the space.
I slam my hand down on the wall. Don’t tell me Lois went in there.
I stride over to the doorway. The first thing I notice is a mountain of clothes piled on the bed.
My brother’s clothes. I take a step closer, the blood pounding in my veins.
Suddenly, I’m back there, all those years ago, when Mike still lived here.
The closet door squeaks, and I jump, half-expecting to see his ghost. All I see is sunny, smiling Lois, and a red mist starts to spark at my edges.
“Have a good day?” she chirps, her smile fading when she sees my expression. “What—”
“What are you doing?” Anger is thickening at the back of my throat, and she flinches.
“Well, I—”
“What the fuck are you doing in here?”
My gaze drifts over to her bags, darting back and forth between the bed and the desk. I clench my jaw. You have got to be fucking kidding me. Don’t tell me she’s—
“I’m tidying my stuff away. You said—”
“Get the hell out of here!”
The words come so harsh, so loud, she takes a step back and stumbles, falling to the ground. Scrambling to her feet, she glances around her, confusion spreading over her face.
“Lane, why—”
“Get out of here!” I yell.
The pain is blinding. I lunge for the desk, raking up the coat hangers, spinning around with my arms full, desperate to make space. I always wondered how it would feel—stepping back into this room. Now I know.
“Move!”
She staggers back, clearing a path for me, and I start hanging my brother’s clothes back up. When I’m done, I slam the closet door shut, making her yelp.
I step closer to her. “I told you to get the fuck out of here!”
Finally she leaves, and I can’t breathe.
My head is spinning around and around. I lean my hands against the closet for balance, pressing the door shut, keeping the memories sealed away.
This is all I have left of him, and I can’t stand the thought of Lois rifling through it all.
Fuck. What the hell was she doing in here?
This, right here: This was my boundary, and she crossed it.
“Fuck!”
I pound the closet with both fists and leave the room to its silence, slamming the door shut behind me and stalking into the living room. Lois spins around and smacks right into the kitchen island.
I keep my distance, my fists clenched, blinded by rage. I can practically see her heart quivering in her chest. She’s breathing hard, her eyes wild and rolling, silently pleading with me to explain. This isn’t the girl I thought I knew—when I look at her now, all I see is red.
She grips the counter with both hands. “What’s your problem?”
“Who do you think you are, Lois?” I snarl. “What the fuck were you doing in there?”
“Are you kidding me?” She laughs in disbelief. “You’re ins—”
“I fucking told you not to go in there.” My throat feels tight.
“What the hell are you talking about? You told me to put my stuff away!”
“There’s no way I ever said that. I told you to put your stuff in my closet, I never said to make yourself at home!”
She does a double take. “ ‘At home’? I never… Listen, you were the one who asked me to stay!”
“I never said you could take over that room!” I roar. “You’re a fucking guest!”
The anger is spreading through me like wildfire, and I can’t even hear myself anymore. Lois can, though—I can tell from her ragged breath that she’s upset, but all I can think is how claustrophobic I’m feeling, how badly she misjudged this. My blood is boiling.
“Wait a minute,” she says, swallowing hard. “Just to make sure I’m getting this. Are you saying the plan was for me to stay on the couch forever?”
“Yes!” I step toward her.
Truth is I thought she would stay in my room, but it feels easier to lie now.
She slaps a hand over her forehead and shuts her eyes. When she opens them again, I recognize the expression flitting across her features, I’ve seen it once before. But I’m too pissed to focus right now. She balls her hand into a fist, jabbing a finger in my face.
“This morning, I went down to the office to tell them I was turning down the room I’ve been waiting months for, because I thought…” She starts to laugh. “You want me to spend the year sleeping on a couch?” she asks flatly.
For a split second, I see her eyes fill with hurt, and it’s nearly enough to break me. Nearly.
“That a problem?” I snipe.
“You made me give up a room for that fucking couch?”
“That ‘fucking couch’ didn’t seem too shabby when your ex threw you out like a pile of shit, did it? And it wasn’t too bad yesterday, was it?”
I send the words slicing through the air. And they land perfectly. She freezes, her eyes widening. Alarm bells are ringing somewhere at the back of my mind, but all I can focus on right now is my rage.
“What’s the big deal with that room, anyway? It’s empty—so why can’t I have it?”
“It’s not… You’re the big deal! You’re the problem here, do you get that?” I shake my head. “I gave you everything you wanted—and now that’s not enough?”
She frowns, and I watch as something like understanding dawns on her face. She blinks. I can hear her breathing from here.
“So basically—nothing’s changed?” she murmurs. “Just so we’re clear, Lane: I’m just stupid little Heartbreak, a girl you randomly fuck on the couch whenever you feel like it?” Her voice is louder now, her lip curled with disgust. “Like a kind of sex snack?”
Deep down, I want to tell her she’s wrong—but my mouth has other ideas.
“What did you expect?” I narrow my eyes at her. “We slept together, Lois. Get over it. It doesn’t mean you get to do whatever the hell you want—that was never part of the deal.”
I’m a black belt in the art of self-defense, and I deliver the words like a blow, without so much as a flinch. In a sick way, she’s making things easier for me. At least this way I don’t have to deal with any complicated feelings.
“Why?” she whispers.
“Why what?”
“New Year’s Eve, the week after that, last night—what did it all mean?”
“Nothing!” I yell. “It meant fucking nothing!” I’ve gone too far, but I’m on a roll, and I can’t hold back. “Don’t go anywhere near that room again. Got it?”
“Got it.”
Her eyes darken, and the air between us chills. I can’t breathe. I need to get out of here, and fast. Without a word, I turn on my heel and hit the stairs, too out of control to realize what just happened, too caught up in the moment to understand what I’ve just done.
In the safety of my car, I pummel the steering wheel with my fists.
I need to blow off some steam. I hit the gas and go flying down the road, heading nowhere.
I decide to call Juliet and let her know I plan on spending the weekend at her place.
Juliet is my safe space—never any drama, never too many questions.
She’s like a sister to me, and between her shifts at the bar and her one-night stands, she’s more like me than Carter.
I’m guessing she won’t even be home, and if she is, she’ll be hopping in the shower, having a quick nap, and heading back out, leaving me with the perfect hideaway for a weekend alone.