Chapter Twenty-Six
Alayah stood outside the hospital as the sun rose over Lake Superior.
It held a whole new meaning this morning as she replayed the events of the last few hours through her mind.
By the time the ambulances arrived, Selina had stabilized Declan, one of her Secure One colleagues, who had been shot in the leg by one of Salma’s wayward bullets.
Derek had taken a bullet to his chest, and while it looked bad, the doctors had assured her it wasn’t life-threatening.
Unfortunately, it had to be removed to prevent it from migrating into his lung.
I’ve fallen head over heels in love with you, Alayah.
Derek’s proclamation had been playing repeatedly in her head since they’d wheeled him away from her.
She was too small to keep up with the stretcher, and Selina had held her back so she wouldn’t get hurt trying to.
It wouldn’t be long, and she’d be allowed to see him, but she was still no closer to knowing what to say than she’d been in that convention hall.
Did she feel the same way? Absolutely. Could she ask him to adjust his lifestyle to meet her needs?
She hoped there was a compromise in there somewhere, but she also knew that was a lot to ask of anyone who suddenly had too many unexpected decisions to make about his own life.
She inhaled deeply again and watched as the sun warmed the lake, raising clouds of smoky fog into the air. There was always something magical about early mornings over the lake that let your soul rest.
“You don’t have to have all the answers right now,” Selina said, and Alayah started in surprise.
“How long have you been there?”
“Long enough. I remember being where you are and wondering if the man I’d fallen in love with, against my battered resolve, I might add, would want to live the kind of life I now had to live. It’s heavy.”
“Truer words,” she agreed. “I’m not sure I’m strong enough to carry it, and that’s really the crux of the problem.”
“Is it a problem for Derek, though?”
“That’s my exact conundrum.”
Selina shrugged. “It didn’t look like a problem to me when he was refusing to let go of your hand despite the EMTs trying to keep him alive.”
“That’s different. That’s trauma,” she said, leaning on her walker that Selina had insisted she bring to the hospital. In fairness, it was a lot of walking, and she was exhausted. “Asking someone to sign up for life is entirely different.”
“That’s valid, but not allowing them to make their own decisions isn’t fair.”
“What if he doesn’t choose me?” She’d finally voiced the question that had run repeatedly through her head for days.
“What if he does?” Selina asked, patting her back. “Do you want to miss out on a love story because of the unfounded fear of getting your heart broken? Only you can answer that question, but Derek should get a say in it when he’s so obviously falling hard for you.”
She shook her head as she gazed at the lake smoke. “Life isn’t normal for him right now. He might cling to whatever safety net he found, mistaking it for love when, really, I was grounding him in the tornado that had become his life.”
“I recommend you open your eyes before walking into his room, Alayah. Open your eyes and see what the rest of us see. Did you ground him? Absolutely. Your giant heart grounded him and showed him that sometimes love happens at the most unexpected time and place. The only emotions you can control are your own. You can’t tell him how to feel.
All you can do is listen and decide if his emotions echo your own. Only then can you move forward.”
Alayah nodded, her shoulders drooping as she turned away from the sunrise to face the hospital again. “How’s Declan?” she asked to change the subject as they walked back inside.
“The doctor is ready to talk with us about his surgery.”
They hurried down the corridor to the family room and entered to see Cal, Efren and Roman pacing the room while Zac sat in the corner, shell-shocked. His elbows were propped on his thighs, and his hands were buried in his hair. Alayah wasn’t sure he was even breathing.
She walked to him, jumped up on the chair beside him, and rubbed his shoulder. “He’s going to be okay,” she promised, but it didn’t seem to filter as he stared at the wall, unmoving.
A man in surgical scrubs walked through the door and closed it behind him, drawing everyone’s attention.
“I’m Doctor Jokela, an orthopedic surgeon who cared for Declan.
He gave me permission to speak freely with everyone.
After consulting with a vascular surgeon, we were able to stop the bleeding and repair the vessels damaged by the bullet. ”
“That’s good news,” Cal said with a nod. “Is there a but coming?”
“Unfortunately, there is,” the doctor said. “As with most injuries that we see from a hollow-point bullet, the damage to his leg was catastrophic. It obliterated his hip joint and shattered his pelvis. We had no choice but to perform a hip disarticulation with repair of the pelvis.”
Alayah felt Zac’s sharp breath under her hand, but otherwise, he never moved.
“You’re standing in a room full of amputees,” Cal said with a nod. “We’ll take care of him. What are the next steps?”
“He’ll need time for the pelvis to heal before anything can be done regarding a prosthesis, if he chooses to go that route.
As you know, some hip disarticulation amputees find value in a prosthesis, and others prefer a wheelchair or crutches.
For several months, it’s my recommendation that he use a wheelchair to protect his pelvis from reinjury.
Physical Therapy will recommend a plan to maintain his strength, and Prosthetics will begin discussing options with him.
The most important part for now is healing the pelvis fracture and giving his vasculature time to recover. ”
Cal nodded once. “Anything he needs, he gets.”
“He’s out of surgery and in his room, but still relatively out of it. It’s my understanding you’ve had a long night, so please feel free to go home and rest. He’ll be in good hands here. You can call and check on him at any time. Mr. Newfellow, we have your number for emergencies.”
Cal nodded, but Zac stood, stalking toward the doctor. “I want to see him.”
“As I said, he’s still sleeping off the anesthesia and may not know you’re there.”
“As I said, I want to see him,” Zac repeated, his teeth clenched as Cal gripped his shoulder to hold him back.
“Zac—”
“I’m the reason he’s in that bed,” Zac said, cutting him off. “I failed him last night. He will not go through this alone.”
The doctor, obviously confused and uncomfortable, opened the door. “I’ll let the nurse know you’d like to see him. She’ll notify you when he’s settled.”
“Thank you, Doctor Jokela,” Selina said with a nod. “And thanks for taking good care of our friend.”
“From what I’m told, you’re the reason he made it to the hospital without bleeding out, so I can say the same to you. I’ll be checking on him over the course of his stay here, but I trust that you’ll take the lead on his outpatient requirements?”
“Absolutely,” she assured him. With a nod and a wave, he disappeared down the hallway.
Everyone in the room turned to Cal and Zac, still locked together in the center of the room.
Cal had both of Zac’s shoulders now as Roman walked over and put his hands over Cal’s from behind Zac.
Efren stood on his left side and Selina on his right.
Alayah had seen them do it multiple times while working at Secure Inc.
Selina had explained that it was their “no one left behind” box.
It was meant to remind the person struggling that they had their back and every side.
“The only person responsible for Declan being in that bed is sitting in a jail cell,” Cal said, his voice stern but kind at the same time.
“It was my job to watch his six, but I failed, Cal. You should fire me on the spot. What good am I if I can’t keep my brothers safe?”
“Zac, we all understand what you’re feeling right now.
We’ve all been in your position where we felt our failures were the reason for someone’s injury or death.
It will take time for you to see what happened in that hall with emotional detachment, but it will come.
When it does, you’ll see that you didn’t fail Declan.
You read the situation and followed your instincts when you pulled him down.
Had you not done that, he’d be dead. That bullet would have hit center mass and we’d be in a morgue instead of a hospital.
Everyone in this room knows that. I promise that when the drugs wear off, Declan will say the same thing.
Your feelings are valid, and we’re here to support you as you work through this.
Every person in this room loves you, and we all know you’d step in front of a bullet for any of us.
That’s the reason you’re on and will remain on my team. Hooah?”
“Hooah,” Zac whispered, his face crumbling as he dropped his forehead to Cal’s shoulder while the rest closed rank around him.
“Hooah,” Alayah whispered, suddenly knowing what she had to do.