40. Carter
FORTY
CARTER
Just after daybreak, the birds chirp right outside the window, their way of waking up the world, letting us all catch up as they grab the worm, and although the exhaustion is weighing down my bones, I squirm underneath Tyson’s heavy arms, realizing that the other half of my heart is missing.
Jasper’s side of the bed is empty, the covers pulled up as if he slipped out after I dozed off, but I have an idea where he’s been.
The protective side of him hasn’t taken a second off since I was shot yesterday, and I’ve felt the tension radiating off him, the way he’s been wound up so tightly.
It’s unlike him to be so serious, but with the deck stacked so highly against us, I know he’s doing everything to keep the three of us together.
Quietly, I slip out of bed, letting Tyson catch up on the sleep his body so desperately needs, padding across the floor in nothing but Jasper’s t-shirt, and a pair of panties.
The cabin is dead silent, my tiny footsteps creaking along the hard wood, but Jasper doesn’t seem to notice, his focus aimed out the front window, the butt of the gun resting on the chair between his legs.
He’s so fucking handsome, the dark hair falling just above his eyes, but his energy is what lures me into a trance, like he’d burn down this entire planet to keep Tyson and I safe.
A strange feeling surges through me, one I don’t recognize, but as my heart swells in my chest, and butterflies flutter around my belly, I think I’m able to pinpoint it: happiness.
An emotion so foreign that my body can barely process it, but even as the world is crashing down at my sides, and the things I’m planning are so despicable, for once, I feel happy.
For all the reasons why I’m fucked up morally, this instance of being cheerful when I’m about to murder my father certainly lands on the list, but after everything I’ve been through, I’m choosing to roll with it.
My whole universe is about to be flipped upside down, and if I can smile a little bit before I’m knocked off the axis, I might as well enjoy myself.
“What’re you thinking about?” I ask Jasper, shuffling my feet along the floor, making my presence known just in case his trigger finger is feeling a little antsy.
“The kind of animals we’d be out there in the woods,” he says calmly, his gaze never leaving the front window, and I realize that he’s staring at the birds I heard chirping.
The sky is hazy, light pink hues dancing around the clouds, but I pay no mind to the beauty of Mother Nature, instead sliding right into the center of Jasper’s lap, cupping my hands around his face.
“Jesus Christ, you need some sleep,” I giggle, adjusting my ass until Jasper moves the gun to the floor, giving me his undivided attention, his gaze immediately sending a fire through my belly.
“Every wild animal has their role in society, Carter. You and I are no better than a rabid wolf pack, or a blood thirsty coven of coyotes. We were placed into this world to hunt and kill, raised by predators who consume the weak, except as humans, we’re supposed to know the difference,” he explains, the inner workings of his mind a desolate wasteland, but we’re one in the same, and I know that our connection stems from the fact that we don’t shy away from the darker shit.
“Must’ve missed that memo,” I crack, my wise-ass easing the tension in the moment, and I catch the moment he breaks, a small smile creeping across his face.
“Did you get any sleep, my little nightcrawler?” He changes the subject, pressing kisses along my jaw as he lazily traces the hem of his t-shirt on my body, it hanging off my hips, but leaving my thighs completely exposed.
“A little, but I have to ask you something.” I chew my lower lip, a certain nervousness in myself I almost never feel, so I sit up a little higher, and he reaches out, sweeping the stray curls from my eyes.
“Yes,” he answers, not even letting me get the question off the tip of my tongue, and I roll my eyes, unable to keep the smirk off my face as he proves his devotion to me, once again.
If I wanted to, I could ask him or Tyson for the whole universe, wrapped up with a pretty black bow, and they’d fucking go get it for me. Without question, or judgement, and I’ll admit, I’ve never felt so free being myself around two people.
After everything we’ve been through since they rescued me, I still don’t feel like I’ve absolved myself enough, though, like I need to do more to earn back Jasper’s full trust.
He took my betrayal the hardest, almost fell apart at the seams because of my abrupt disappearance, and although he’s assured me that we’ve overcome that, I don’t feel like I’ve met him on the other side of the mountain of lies I put between us.
Before I can fully thrust the knife into my father’s back, I want to leave no stone unturned, no conversation with question marks, and I fear that if Jasper isn’t honest with me, I won’t be able to channel the connection we once shared.
Being completely open with both of my boys has always been at the top of my priority list, and even when I was lying to them, I did my fucking best to give them as much of the real me as I possibly could have.
“Shush, Jasper, this is serious. And don’t you fucking lie to me,” I warn, pointing my finger into his rock hard chest, but keeping our eye contact intact, ensuring he understands how life or death serious I am.
“I’m sorry, Carter. Go ahead,” he nods, giving me the floor, but the shaky breaths leave my chest in rapid succession, terrified of the truth he’s going to reveal.
“If I confessed my real identity … that first day we kissed in Tyson’s truck, would you have killed me?
I feel like I’m cracking up, wondering exactly when the right time would’ve been to drop that fucking bomb I was carrying in your laps, but I’m spinning in circles, afraid that we can never fully get past all the lies I told,” I ramble, tears streaking down my cheeks, but he places a single finger on my lips, effectively shushing me from furthering spiraling down the rabbit hole.
“I don’t know, Carter. There was a lot going on with the Masseria Family, and at the time, I was still loyal to the crest tattooed on my back, but before you showed us those scars, I was convinced you were a threat, and needed to be eliminated,” he sighs deeply, a pained expression on his face, but down to my core, I have to believe what I think is fact.
“And we wouldn’t have gotten to where we are,” I say, almost daring him to confirm it with a three letter word, but he shakes his head, taking back control of the narrative.
“You did what you had to do to survive, Principessina. That lie saved your life, and gave you to us, meaning we’re exactly where we belong,” he breathes, taking my hands into his, and I release another shaky breath, wondering how to move forward from this.
It confirms everything I thought to be correct, that my lies were necessary, but if I continue to wonder when the right time for a confession would’ve been, I’ll spin myself into circles, never addressing the taller tasks at hand.
“Can you ever forgive me?” I ask, the tears streaming down my face as if I’m waiting for what his answer will be, but deep down, I know we’ve finally moved past this, the last shred of doubt coming from his words of confirmation.
“I forgave you the second I saw you again,” he whispers, drawing short circles on my thigh with one hand, the other brushing the sadness from my cheeks with tenderness, and I lean into his touch, grinding my hips against his leg, wondering if I’m still capable of luring the beast out to play.
“Jasper, I –” I moan, his name leaving my lips in a breathy, desperate plea, but he doesn’t let me finish, wrapping the palm of his hand around my throat, forcing my eyes into his.
“You’re so fucking wet, my perfect little slut.” He teases a finger over my panties, lightly brushing my clit, but not stopping to give me an ounce of friction, instead, latching his hand on my hip.
“Jasper, I need you.” Dropping my lips to his collarbone, I lightly suck on his pulse point, the spot that drives him wild, but he keeps his grip in place, not entertaining my advances in the slightest.
“Make yourself cum. Ride my fucking thigh, Principessina.” He commands, a husky drawl in his voice that I’m not used to, but I’ll be damned if I disobey, the pleasure I’m so desperate for within reach.
Slowly, I grind my hips into his denim-clad leg, the roughness of the material mixing deliciously with my satin panties, and as the moans slip through my lips, I tangle my hands into my own mane of curls, biting my lower lip as I set my own pace.
“Fuck, oh my god,” I groan, feeling the tension as it expands in my belly, the ripple effects causing my arms and hands to go numb, but I arch my back even further, accepting the fact that I’m doing this to myself.
“You’re so fucking pretty when you ride me, Carter. Come on, you’re so close,” he praises, the words raining down on me like a warm summer storm, lighting the fuse until sparks begin to fly, and I’m falling apart in his lap.
Just before my final detonation, he drops one hand to my stomach, the other wrapping around my back, and without breaking my form, he presses down hard, triggering a series of moans from my lips that start low in my chest, and erupt into screams as the orgasm rips through my body like wildfire.
“Oh Jasper, oh my god,” I breathe, but in a split second, he swipes his tongue across my lips, luring me into a kiss that swallows my every breath, whimper, and moan, fusing us into one as I attempt to come down from an unmeasurable high.
“You are the most powerful creature on this planet, my little warrior. Don’t ever doubt how much strength you possess over me, my brother, and this entire world.
” He bites my lower lip, releasing it only when a small pool of blood stings my scraped skin, but he doesn’t skip a beat, delivering the sweetest words possible as I collapse against his chest.
“You are more than I deserve, but I’ve never had a better partner in death, Jasper. I love you.” I fade into the blissful bubble we’ve created, feeling nothing but content as the heaviness of our conversation exits, and the words he planted in my heart begin to blossom like spring flowers.
Finally, I feel like we’ve closed the dark chapters of our story, turning the page to a brand new beginning, but I know that what’s on the horizon is our biggest test, the one battle that could topple everything I’ve worked myself to the bone to deserve.
On my own, I earned this happily ever after, and I’ll be damned if my father is the one to hold me back from the greatness he’s sworn I’d become since I was old enough to speak.
It’s too bad that in order to achieve the feats I was trained to have, I have to take out the one person who built, coached, and nourished the monster that lives within my bones, it begging to be released as we chase the very thing I was born to own: the throne.