Chapter 21
21
KATERINA
T he three Shadow-and-Dimi pairs rode out that afternoon, at Andrei’s back. The rest of them trained all the rest of that day and into the night. After that, Baba bade Niko and Elena to come to her cottage, to discuss details of their impending nuptials. Pretending like this didn’t tear her apart, Katerina walked home with Ana and Alexei. They spoke of Niko’s fight with Andrei, the way Katerina had thrown the man into the grove, whether Nadia and Oriel were well on their way to the Magiya and what they might learn there. By the time the three of them reached Katerina’s doorstep, she ached with the effort of acting as if nothing was wrong.
She didn’t do a very good job of it. But so much was already wrong that perhaps her glum demeanor aroused little suspicion, because Ana, usually quick to call Katerina out, didn’t say a word.
Katerina had changed out of her leather training gear, swept the floor of the cottage, and taken a bath by the time Niko came home at last. She was sitting in front of the fire in a midnight-black gown that matched her mood, staring into the flames, when his step echoed on the walk. A moment later, he’d unlocked the door. It creaked on its hinges as it swung inward, the wind stirring Katerina’s hair and making the flames flare higher.
She should have turned to greet him. It was petty to do otherwise. But she wasn’t ready to see his face. She didn’t trust what she might say, what she might do.
There was silence as he paused behind her, assessing her mood. Metal clinked as he set his blades down on the table. Then he came on, the floorboards protesting as they took his weight. He knelt in front of her, peering into her face.
“Katya,” he said. “Forgive me.”
She had to clear her throat before she spoke. When her voice came, it was harsh-edged. “There is nothing to forgive.”
“No?” His lips quirked. “Then why are you glaring at me like you’d like nothing more than to burn me down to ashes?”
“I don’t wish to incinerate you,” Katerina said haughtily. “Who would fight by my side then?”
Niko gave a rough sound that, under other circumstances, might have been a laugh. “I had to go to her, my Dimi. Baba insisted.”
She didn’t bother to ask him to clarify who her was. They both knew. “She’s your betrothed. Of course you did. I have no right to protest.”
“And yet,” he said wryly, scanning her—arms wrapped tightly around her bent knees, defiant gaze meeting his—“clearly you do.”
Anger welled up in Katerina. “What do you want me to say, Niko? That I begrudge every word you speak to her, every second you spend by her side? That the thought of you touching her makes me wish to vomit? That I’d rather face a thousand Grigori than imagine the night when you take her to your bed?”
Her Shadow’s eyes narrowed. The firelight played on the long line of his throat as he swallowed. “That depends,” he said slowly. “Is it true?”
Katerina looked away. “Does it matter ?”
“Of course it matters. I thought you didn’t want this.” He gestured between them. “That it was to be once and once only. To satisfy your curiosity, as it were.”
Katerina’s eyes sprang wide. She shot to her feet, infuriated. “You think being with you was some sort of experiment ? That I wanted to…to try you out and then cast you aside?”
He gave the one-shouldered shrug that meant something was truly troubling him. “What was I meant to think?”
“You were meant to think that you’re betrothed to another! That there are demons afoot, and Iriska is crumbling! That there’s a prophecy that forbids us to be together, lest we bring about the end of everything we hold dear and the death of everyone we know!”
A faint smile lifted Niko’s lips before they fell back into a grim line. “I told you, Katerina. I believe the prophecy to be superstition. As for Elena, I’m not wed to her yet, am I?”
“But you will be.” Katerina couldn’t keep the distress from her voice. “And soon. What kind of people would that make us, if we…”
Her voice trailed off. She closed her eyes, not wanting to look at him anymore. He was too much—too immediate, too beautiful, with his black hair tumbling loose from its tie. Too wild, with the firelight streaking his body, dark as demon blood. But a small current of air caressed her face, and when she opened her eyes again, he’d moved closer. “You are my Dimi,” he said, his voice husky. “I am your Shadow. Only claim me again, if that’s what you want, and I will be yours.”
“We can’t, ” Katerina protested. “It doesn’t matter what I want.”
One of his dark eyebrows rose. “Come now, Katerina. When have you not taken what you wished, and damn the consequences? Am I meant to believe that you don’t truly want me, then? Is this a game for you?”
“A game?” Rage heated her cheeks. “I toppled a bridge for you, because I couldn’t stand to watch you claim Elena’s silly little boat for your own!”
Her Shadow’s jaw dropped. “But you said?—”
Katerina ignored him, barreling onward. “In a month, we’ll leave for the Kniaz’s estate. Sooner than that, you’ll be married to a woman who idolizes you and has been waiting all her life for this moment. What is the point of starting something that can come to no good end?”
She glared at him. “Or is it that you fought with that fool Andrei today? Everyone knows Shadows seek solace in a bottle or a woman’s bed after a fight. Are you simply using me, then, to get out your?—”
Before she could finish her sentence, his mouth was on hers, hungry, devouring. His hands wound tight into her hair, the scent of him all around her, his tongue licking along hers. When he pulled back, they were both panting.
“I want you, Katerina,” he growled. “Not some nameless, faceless woman. Not Elena. You , who challenge me at every turn . I nearly slaughtered that idiot in front of the entire village for speaking of the Kniaz taking you to his bed, yet you were the one who had to stand up for my betrothed. Soon to be my wife. I didn’t even notice the way he was looking at her. Is that not proof enough for you?”
Katerina’s hands shook. When she finally found her voice, it shook as well. “We can’t, Niko. You know we can’t.”
His face darkened. “Tell me what you want, Katya.”
This time, she was the one who reached for him. He came eagerly, the leather of his gear rough against the thin material of her gown, his body holding the heat of the fire and the leashed strength of a Shadow. She could feel him tremble with the effort it took to hold back when they kissed. To let her lead. But he did it, as he was sworn to do, and inside her, the wall she’d built between them began to crumble.
He pulled back once more, lips slightly parted, breath coming hard. Gently, he brushed the crimson waves from her face. “Perhaps you’re wise to fear the prophecy,” he said, his voice breaking. “To regret Elena. But for me, the damage has already been done. For wherever I go, whoever I wed, I will always belong to you.”
Katerina stared at him, eyes wide. Was she dreaming, to have Niko say the words she’d only imagined for so long?
She was sure she hadn’t spoken aloud. But perhaps she had, because Niko’s raven-black brows rose. “No dream, Katerina,” he said. “This is real, Saints help us both. I’ve wanted to say this to you for so long, and held back. But I fear this may be my last chance. If the Darkness takes us tomorrow, I don’t want to die knowing I didn’t have the courage to speak what’s in my heart.”
Katerina’s mouth had gone bone-dry. She regarded Niko, and he looked back, his face calm, expectant. Braver than she could ever hope to be.
She should have backed away. Disentangled herself from his arms and fled the way she’d done the first night they kissed. He would have let her go.
But she didn’t move.
Niko didn’t, either. His arms around her, his lips an inch from hers…they were a question, asked over and over again. And Katerina had only one answer.
She stood on her tiptoes, giving him every chance to pull away. Her lips pressed against his, taking his breath for her own, giving it back again. Still he remained motionless, a statue above her. She traced his lips with her tongue, tasting him: blood and fire. A growl rose in his chest, but he stayed perfectly still, letting her use him as she would. Letting her decide.
When she pulled back, it was only to unbutton his shirt and toss it to the floor. His gaze grew darker, his eyelids sinking to half-mast.
“On your knees, my Shadow,” she said softly, curious to see what he would do.
Niko obeyed at once, his hands falling open at his sides. It was a posture of supplication, of submission. But he did it, without hesitation or question.
I’m yours, it said. And if you want me, then…
“You kneel for no one,” she said in wonder, gazing down at him.
His throat worked. “I think we both know, my Dimi, that I kneel for you.”
Another time, Katerina would have teased him with the promise of pleasure, made him wait until neither of them could stand it, made him beg. But not now, when every cell of her body craved his. Instead she knelt in front of him, skating her teeth along his jawline. She nipped his collarbone, then pressed her palm against his Mark.
At that, Niko’s control broke. His hands came up and he dug his fingers into her hips, yanking her hard against him. Somehow she was on the floor on the hearth rug, and he was looming over her, murmuring her name, his hands roving the length of her body. Her magic surged out to meet him, caressing his skin, and he moaned above her, his eyes darkening as he undid the ribbon at the neckline of her gown and tugged it over her head. He knelt before her and worshiped her and when they merged into one single, burning being, their shadows coupling on the wall beside them, there was no point in pretending that this would be the last time.