Carter #2
Spencer and Roman finally reach Nate and me, who are sitting furthest from the door. In unison, they shout, “Broooo! I miss you!”
Spencer blurts, “Your replacement is terrible.”
“You can’t tell the competition that,” jokes Roman.
“But he’s right,” Roman continues. “The guy can’t catch or run. It’s like the team pulled someone off the clearance rack and called it a day.”
We all laugh. I forget for a second that Nate is right next to me, that is, until both guys glance at him, clearly waiting for an intro.
I clear my throat, just a little nervous. “This is Nate. My boyfriend.”
They both stare at me. Spencer speaks first. “Excuse me…boyfriend? Since when? Since when are you gay?”
Roman adds, “We heard rumors, but didn’t really think much of it…guess they are true?”
I look at them, trying to gauge the vibe. They seem relaxed. “We’ve been together for about two or three months now. Only people who know are my family, a few friends…and my team. And yeah, the rumors are true. ” I pause with a grin, “but not the ones about Charlie.”
Everyone laughs at that. Roman shakes his head. “Charlie’s kind of a douche.”
“I gotta agree with that one,” Spencer adds.
Nate pipes up, grinning. “I actually kinda like him. He’s just…bro-y. But he’s cool.”
Then he extends his hand. “I’m Nate, by the way. And you guys are amazing football players, don’t mind me if I fanboy for a second.”
They glance at each other and then at him. Spencer grins. “Fanboy away. I like you already.”
“Isn’t Boston way better than New York anyway?” Roman jokes.
Nate looks at me, then back at them. “I mean, I have to be biased here, but Boston is pretty good. You guys are 5–3, so technically you’re one game ahead of New York.”
They both chuckle. Spencer says, “Well, technically, but literally, we’re also better.”
Then, without even realizing they’re speaking in sync, they ask, “So what do you do? How’d you guys even meet?”
I’m about to answer, but Nate jumps in. “Well, we actually met in college. Very briefly, and I’ll let Carter explain that part. But we reconnected through some mutual friends at a performance my band played at.”
“A performance?” Spencer cuts in. “Are you, like, a famous singer or something?”
Nate laughs. “More like a wannabe famous singer. Right now, I’m just doing random gigs and praying I make enough to survive the next day.”
I see my mom’s ears perk up. “Nate’s an amazing singer! Well, according to Carter.”
She turns to Nate with a smile. “How about you sing for us? Sing anything! I dare you!”
Nate’s brothers belt out, “Do it, you won’t!”
Nate looks at me, a little bashful, but grinning. “How about this, if someone can find just the instrumentals of any Ed Sheeran song, I’ll sing for a full minute.”
Immediately, everyone pulls out their phones, frantically searching. Out of nowhere, Chase holds his up. “Got one!”
The last person I’d expect to find anything useful, but he hits play.
It’s like Nate has a sixth sense for music. He simply clicks into it and starts singing without hesitation. For someone who always talks about being shy and socially awkward, he’s full-on performing in front of my entire family and two friends I haven’t seen in months. And he sounds incredible.
Everyone’s faces shift into pure awe. It’s amazing.
After about a minute, Nate stops. “Okay, that’s a minute, done.”
Everyone gets up, half-joking but fully serious, and starts clapping.
While people chat around us about Nate’s voice, I lean in. “I don’t know how you did that.”
And I mean it. I can be talkative, but the idea of singing in front of this many people? Fuck that shit. But Nate just does it. It’s like it comes naturally to him.
Everyone’s still looking at him like he’s some kind of superstar. My mom pipes up again. “Carter says you were good, but not that good. How are you not famous? You literally have it all; you’re hot, sweet, and your voice is magnificent.”
I glance over at Nate, who smiles and says, “Tell that to the producers and record labels.”
Everyone laughs because we know he’s right.
The music industry is brutal, and a lot of it is really a matter of luck.
I think Nate knows that, too, but I also know he won’t stop trying.
Lately, with the cafe and everything, he just seems more confident, like he is finally starting to feel successful.
Suddenly, my mom claps her hands. “Alright, enough lingering in this tight living room! Let’s head to the backyard.”
She intensely glares at my dad. “Turn on the grill, put on the burgers, dogs, and chicken. Let’s feed these grown boys.”
We head through the kitchen to the backyard, and my dad fires up the grill.
Smoke rises around us, the scent of charcoal and meat already filling the air.
I walk a little further away from the heat and away from the smoke.
That’s when Spencer steps beside me and lightly tugs at my arm, pulling me away from Nate.
“Let’s have a chat,” he says casually. “I think Roman and Nate can handle themselves.”
I glance over and see Roman already chatting Nate up, asking, “How did you actually meet in college? Was it love at first sight?
Caught off guard, Nate answers honestly. I hear bits and pieces with a calm tone, like he’s not afraid to speak his truth, but Spencer’s already leading me away.
Once we’re a few steps away, he turns to me. “Dude, I need to know…how long have you known? And why didn’t you say anything?”
I let out a breath. “Honestly? I was nervous. I thought you, Roman, anyone really might look at me differently. I didn’t want people thinking I couldn’t play football, or I wasn’t a real man, just because I’m gay.”
“So, you’re gay,” he says, “Not bi.”
“Yeah,” I nod. “Gay.”
Spencer studies me for a second, then shakes his head with a crooked smile. “Well, that makes sense. I never saw you with any girls. Or anyone, really. You just kind of kept to yourself when we went out. You always hung around the guys and got wasted.”
I let out a laugh. “You’re not wrong. It was stressful as fuck.”
“You know you could’ve told me,” he says. “But I’m glad I found out now. Still can’t believe your team knew before me. What…are you and Josh Miller, BFFs now?”
I smirk. “No one will replace you, Spenc.”
“But Josh Miller is awesome,” I add. “And, he’s definitely a better quarterback than Roman. But don’t tell him I said that.”
Spencer laughs. “Dude, I will always have your back. And Roman, too, you know that, right? Yeah, some people will have their opinions. Some players, regular people, or whoever. There will always be someone who thinks it’s a choice or who disagrees.
But just know this: me, Roman, and so many others will always be in your corner. ”
Something about the way he says it gets to me.
I feel this emotion swell in my chest, and I have to look away for a second.
It just feels good and relieving. Everyone who's found out, everyone who matters, has shown me such love. Everyone’s been treating me exactly the same. And that’s all I care about.
As Spencer and I keep talking, I hear faint laughter behind us from Roman and Nate. They’re actually getting along, and I can’t help but smile; that is, until I catch part of Roman’s voice saying something that stops me cold.
“Some guys on the Boston team heard the rumors about Carter and Charlie…and were repulsed. I am glad he wasn’t on the team to deal with that shit.”
I keep replaying the word, ‘Repulsed’.
That word hits me like a punch in the face. It’s so harsh and disgusting. I don’t even know if I heard it right, or if I imagined it. But it is starting to trigger panic inside me.
Spencer’s still talking, saying something about how the team isn’t the same without me, but I’m only half-listening. That word continues to circle in my head, ‘Repulsed’.
What kind of person uses that word about someone coming out? What does that even mean?
Spencer must notice something’s off, because he suddenly stops and says, “Dude. I fucking love you. I need to visit New York soon. No more not talking for months at a time. Kay?”
Before I can say anything, he pulls me into a hug. And somehow, that hug snaps me out of the daze.
I hug him back. “I’m just so grateful for you, bro. Seriously. We need to talk more. We’re not even that far from each other.”
He winks. “Damn right we do.” Then he smacks my ass. Hard.
“Hey!” I yelp, laughing as I rub the sting on my left cheek. Everyone turns to look, and the whole group bursts out laughing.
We all gather in a loose line near the table as my dad finishes cooking. Burgers, hot dogs, and chicken land on everyone's plate. The mood lightens again, warm and comfortable. I look over at Nate, who’s already walking over to me. He smiles and I smile back.
And in that moment, I remind myself: Even if some guys in Boston, or anywhere, think of me differently, it doesn’t matter.
Look at who’s here. Look at who knows I’m gay. No one gives a shit.
These people are the ones who matter, and they love me. And that’s all I need.
I look at Nate, then glance down at his plate, then mine, and say, “We are literally pigs.”
We both have two burgers, a hot dog, and a slice of chicken breast.
Nate grins and says, “What? I’ll probably go for seconds.”
I laugh. “Where does it even go? You’re so skinny.”
He just winks at me. “Have you seen how big my ass is?”
I smile with a low chuckle.
I look across the yard and see Roman and Spencer deep in conversation with my parents, barking dogs weaving around their legs. With everyone distracted, I take the opportunity to ask Nate about what I heard Roman say.
I lean in and whisper, “I might be crazy or paranoid, but…was Roman talking about how people on my old team were repulsed when they heard rumors that I was gay?”