Chapter 10 - Sophie
Maybe I'm trying to distract myself, but it seems to be working, giving me a semblance of normalcy after spending the day at the pack clinic.
Even thinking the word “pack” makes me feel like I'm going insane, but there comes a point in one's life when you have to admit that not everything is as it seems.
I had somewhat of another rude awakening when I went to check on Damian's friend, James. He'd been comatose for three months, after a supposed demon attack, and the moment I pressed a finger to his neck, his veins surged with black ink that burned from his lips and disappeared like smoke.
Dianna called it magic, while I'm still trying to wrap my head around the word. She believes it has to do with the “fated mate bond” between her brother and me, and that's something I don't want to accept.
There's no way I could be that important to—
“Hey, Sophie!” Dianna greets me cheerfully outside the clinic, her radiant personality instantly dousing my gloominess, even if it lingers at the back of my mind.
I push it far back, welcoming her company despite my previous resistance, deciding that she's not part of the problem. Besides, I saw the way she looked at James while he was still unconscious, and witnessed the way her eyes lit up like stars when he woke up.
Perhaps I caught a glimpse of what it looks like to be in love, and saw a past version of me that reminded me of the time I was in love.
“Can I walk you home?” she asks, and I make a face.
“You wanna walk me all the way back to Hamilton?”
Dianna giggles as she slips her arm through mine. “You still wanna go back there? After today?”
I purse my lips in contemplation, thinking about the way I spent my day. I'd naturally gravitated to the clinic when I was in search of something to distract myself, and while the patients were initially hostile when they met me, I didn't think too much of it.
Dianna says it's because I'm human, but I'm no stranger to disgruntled patients and having to plaster on a smile for the sake of their well-being.
Besides, nursing patients has always brought me fulfillment, even if it's helping a bunch of were-creatures who have the ability to shapeshift and claw my eyes out if I'm not careful.
Gulp!
“What's wrong?” Dianna asks halfway back to Damian's cabin.
“Nothing,” I lie, mentally frowning at this sudden surge of awareness that has me feeling all sorts of insecure. It's like the more I'm letting go of the tight binds of resentment, the harder it's becoming to accept that I'm here, with Damian, as his—
It was so much easier to just hate the man.
While Dianna goes on listing all the reasons why she'd been missing James while he was comatose, I mentally list all the reasons to hate Damian, reaffirming that I do still hate him. By the time we get to the cabin, my chin tilts with a sort of defiance, my shoulders rigid as we walk up the porch.
“Thank you, Dianna,” I tell her with a curt nod, and she watches me through speculative eyes.
“I know things are still relatively new, but I would really like us to hang out more.” She reaches out and touches my arm gently. “After what you did today, I hope we can be friends.”
My heart squeezes inside my chest, and I instantly throw my arms around her, hugging her because, truthfully, I have no qualms with her. She hasn’t done anything wrong and has instead spent the day by my side, showing me around, explaining everything to me.
Pack laws. Alpha’s duties. A mating ceremony that was left out because Damian didn’t want to scare me.
As if all of this doesn’t already frighten me.
After he showed me around yesterday and made me see that werewolves do exist, while showing that this place in the valley isn’t something to be afraid of, but rather a community of beings who wouldn’t fit in with the humans, I’ve been restless, trying to accept that all of this is true.
Even Dianna spent today answering my questions, and while it’s starting to make sense, I can’t believe that I’ve been so blind all this time.
What’s worse is that I feel manipulated even more now. If I meant anything to Damian, he would have told me while we’d been seeing each other. He could have told me the truth about his identity, and I would have accepted him, because I loved him back then.
Or would I have laughed in his face and told him he was crazy?
That’s also highly possible.
I pull back and offer Dianna a nervous half-smile before turning and saying goodnight to her as she leaves. I pause to take a deep breath outside, pulling myself together and reminding myself that, despite the happenings of the past few days, Damian is still the enemy.
But as soon as I walk in, I’m betrayed by my senses when my airways are hit with the gorgeous aroma of homemade food, and my vision is snatched by the sight of Damian laying out cutlery on the table next to the plates he’s already set out.
There’s a candle burning beside the centerpiece on the table, a range of flowers neatly set out in a vase.
My heart skips a beat the moment he straightens and turns, his eyes meeting mine and lighting up. It’s not the first time I’ve seen that look in his eyes today—it was there when he watched me tend to patients in the clinic this afternoon.
I gulp hard as I stand there dumbfounded for a moment, taking in the sight of him with only a pinch of salt—enough to tingle an open wound, but not immobilizing in a way that prevents me from seeing what’s right in front of me.
He’s wearing a crisp white shirt that’s tucked into his khaki pants, the sleeves rolled up almost to his elbows and exposing his muscular forearms. The way the candle flickers behind him highlights the veins mapping his forearms, and I catch myself gawking and blink, tearing my eyes away.
But when I look up, I’m stunned by the way he smiles softly—that damned charming smile that weakens my knees as I imagine myself tracing a finger across his sharp, structured jawline.
I blow out a frustrated breath—frustrated because I don’t know who I’m fooling by believing that I can resist Damian’s natural charm. Even his blue eyes twinkle as he stares at me, and I find myself falling into the charm they hold.
“You’re right on time,” he says, snapping me out of my daze and pulling me out of the throes of those infinite, hypnotizing blues. He seems to notice the moment my walls of defense come up again, because he turns and disappears into the kitchen without another word.
Something pulls me forward to follow him, perhaps curiosity, or something I can’t quite name, but I walk into the kitchen to find him pulling out a tray from the oven, carrying steaks he prepared, along with roasted baby potatoes and greens prepared so appetizingly.
My tummy rumbles in response, so even when he asks me to take a seat, I don’t protest.
Damian pulls out my chair for me, and there’s a moment, albeit brief, in which I forget all about the past and relish in the quiet comfort of a warm cabin and delicious food once he plates our dinner and pours our wine.
There was a time when I pictured that this would be our life together, growing old in a cabin alongside a river, where our children would fill the quiet with their laughter and play, until they were grown and it was just Damian and me.
My stomach drops, and my appetite dies in a sudden shift that catches me off guard. I look up from my plate, watching the way the flame flickers in the center of the table, casting a luminous glow on Damian’s face as he cuts a piece of steak.
“You understand that none of this is normal, right?” I scoff as I gesture to the table, and even as the words leave my lips, I’m not sure who I’m saying it to, me or him. “Not this dinner, not this marriage, none of it is normal.”
Damian sighs as he sets down his fork and knife, then straightens up like he’s giving me his undivided attention. My heart skips a beat again when his eyes meet mine, a celestial glow illuminating the azure depths.
“I know that none of this is normal, Sophie. But I could never give you normal.”
I flinch when I pick up the sadness laced in his tone, as if his words hurt me as much as they hurt him.
“Is that why you broke up with me?” I ask in a hesitant whisper, and Damian purses his lips, eyes flitting to the candle in a moment’s hesitation before he looks back at me.
“Yes,” he whispers back, eyes solemn pools of sincerity. “And I’m sorry for what I did to hurt you. I should have given you an explanation, trusted you with who I am.”
I scoff bitterly when the apology doesn’t feel like it’s enough, my appetite turning to nausea that compels me to get off my chair. “Yeah, you should have, but you didn’t. I’m not hungry anymore.”
I’m just about to walk past him when he grabs my wrist to stop me, and I turn and glare at him when I snatch my hand away, too aware of his touch and what it does to affect me, but too upset to care.
“I hate you…” I whisper, heaviness lodged in my throat.
“I know,” Damian concedes, and that’s what throws me off the edge.
“Two years, Damian. You disappeared for two years, and then you show up and decide to kidnap me, and—”
“I didn’t decide to kidnap you, Sophie!” he snaps, getting up from his chair. “You were being followed by a demon, and then the attack happened, and you fainted. I had to get you to safety. Do you blame me?”
I huff irritably. “Still, you forced me into marrying you, because that’s what you had to do, right? To appease this council of yours, and to keep your pack safe. I know all about the ritual, about why the valley is dying, and marrying me was the only way you could save them.”
“Do you really believe that’s the only reason I did it?
” Damian runs a hand through his hair, eyes glowering with frustration.
“I planned on coming back and speaking to you, and telling you exactly who I am—what I am—and giving you a choice. But that choice was stripped from both of us the second the demon came after you. And you were so stubborn. Like you’re being now. ”
“I’m not being stubborn, and I don’t believe you!” I snap, throwing my arms up defeatedly. “You left me for two years, Damian! You don’t really believe that you could have waltzed in and made everything right again?”
“You think I’m lying?” he asks, taking a step forward, and I’m suddenly consumed by his presence, his scent, the warmth of his body surrounding me.
“Y-yes, you’re lying,” my voice cracks, and so does my resolve.
And when he does the unthinkable by grabbing my wrist and pressing my hand to his chest, I gasp.
“Look into my eyes and tell me you still think I’m lying,” he says measuredly while his heart races, my palm surging with heat and tingles as I cup his heartbeat, gauging the way the unsteady pace matches my own.
I gulp as I meet his eyes again, and that’s when everything comes crashing down—all the walls I’d built to keep my heart protected, all the anger I’ve been holding on to like it was my armor.
Something inside me shifts, or takes over me, and I’m pulled closer toward him as he leans in. My heart was racing because of anger, but now it’s racing because of how close he is.
“I’m not lying to you, Sophie,” he whispers, his hot breath fanning my face. “Perhaps I was too much of a coward in the past because I thought I was protecting you by leaving, but I never lied to you.”
“I can’t trust you, Damian…”
“Then trust yourself,” he says as he leans in further. “What is the bond telling you? Surely you can feel it.”
I swallow hard, only because I know exactly what he means, and there’s no denying it, even if I try. I’m not even a wolf, and I know that something beyond my comprehension is pulling me closer, like a magnet drawing me toward him, while a knot coils in the pit of my belly, full of awareness.
I don’t know which one of us moves first, but our lips meet with desperation that has me throwing caution out every window of this cabin and losing myself in Damian’s arms. I might regret this later, but for now, his lips feel right against mine, his tongue diving into the cavity of my mouth with authority that commands my body to melt against him.
His hands are in my hair, pulling me closer, strong thighs pressed against my supple frame to keep me steady like an anchor.
Memories of our past come rushing in—all those memories I tried so hard to bury—and a surge of emotion rushes through me, overpowering my desire for him.
I break the kiss abruptly, pushing at his chest, but it’s just in time for his eyes to do that thing where they turn blank, almost as if his vision is turning inward, and he doesn’t move, doesn’t breathe, just stands there for a few moments while I’m still reeling from the kiss.
My lips still tingle by the time he snaps out of it, his eyes returning their focus on me, but with a glint of panic.
“A report just came in about a demon sighting in the south of the valley,” he says with urgency in his voice before he gulps.
Dianna explained what the mind link is and how the werewolves communicate telepathically with each other, so I simply nod.
“You should go.”
Damian nods, pausing only for a few seconds to stare into my eyes before he rushes off, out of the cabin, and into the cold night air that seems to swallow him up, and it leaves a gaping hole in my chest.
A trembling hand comes up to my lips, where I can still taste him from the kiss, and tears fall from my eyes as my heart erupts in turmoil.
I just kissed Damian Hans after two years, and the kiss was everything I dreamed it would be, a reacquaintance with the lips of the man I love.
Except, it was more intense than I could have imagined, and my body physically aches because of his absence.
I hate myself for wanting him so much, even though I hate him, and I never thought that both things could be true at the same time.