Chapter 12 - Sophie
I don’t know what I’m thinking, kissing Damian with such fervor and vigor, as if my life depends on it, as if his breath is my sustenance, but I can’t stop myself.
Perhaps this comes from seeing him out there tonight in the valley, passed out in a pool of blood, realizing that he could have died.
He could have died tonight, and I would have had to live with the regret of not exploring whether my hatred could ever turn around again, if there was a chance—
No.
I’m thinking too much, and it’s as if there’s a tiny voice inside my head that nudges me, reminding me to stop living in the past, stop worrying about the future, and just live in the moment.
A few hours ago, I saw Damian bleeding out, felt his pain inside me as if it was my own, and now, he’s a warm body underneath me, draping my thighs over his waist as he settles a hand at the small of my back.
Correction.
He’s a hot body, hard and solid beneath me, holding my weight as if I’m as light as a feather, kissing me with intense passion that makes me quickly forget about everything and just focus on the taste of his lips.
He tastes like earth and authority as his tongue dips into the cavity of my mouth, and he drinks in my breath as if they belong to him.
And just now, he stood up for me when his friend was being cruel, and the way he had that man by the neck, speaking authoritatively to shut him up…
That was hot, and my body burns for him.
Every inch of my body tingles, from the crown of my head to the tips of my toes, a fire raging beneath my skin when he slips a hand under my blouse before sliding it beneath the waistband of my shorts.
He cups the mound of my rear with his large hand, kneading the soft curve and pressing me against the prominent, rigid bulge of his erection in his trousers.
I’m about to implode, it feels like, and I break the kiss just to catch my breath, meeting his eyes as if I’m searching for a metaphorical pinch to my skin to tell me this is all a dream.
God knows I spent countless nights dreaming about this exact moment, when the fire crackles to match the thumping of my racing heart, and when I can see his flushed face and swollen lips from our kisses, and feel his strength in his chest muscles beneath my palm.
But my dreams could never do justice to his real eyes, ablaze with desire, and dark with hunger.
He’s watching me, too, sizing up my face as if he’s etching every fine detail into memory before he moves. He doesn’t say a word, he just moves swiftly, carrying me effortlessly with one hand as he gets to his feet, dragging the throw blanket from the backrest of the couch with his free hand.
His lips find mine for a sloppy kiss as he carries me toward the fireplace, my arms curled around his neck, our chests pressed together as our heartbeats align. I hear the whisper of the blanket falling to the floorboards before Damian sets me down on my feet.
His movements are tender, even though his eyes are wild with hunger as he licks his kiss-swollen lips, savoring the taste of our kiss as he stares deeply into my soul.
He’s undressing my being long before he undresses my body, and my heart hammers with maddening speed as he reaches for the first button on my blouse.
His knuckles lightly brush my collarbones—a deliberate touch that promises the sensations he’ll administer with his hands.
I can’t believe I ever thought this would be a bad idea when there’s nothing bad about becoming undone at Damian’s hands.
And he does it so well, skilled fingers deftly undoing my buttons before he scissors the fabric between his forefingers and middle fingers, holding my gaze as he slowly peels the blouse away.
My breasts become exposed, and Damian’s eyes flit to the luscious mounds as he sucks in a breath, his tongue skimming his lips with anticipation, eyes dark and glowing with eagerness and hunger.
He dips his head while he slides the sleeves off my arms, meeting one nipple with puckered lips that latch on the nub as he pulls me closer with one hand on my back.
I gasp, arching into his touch, my fingers carding through the soft tresses of blonde hair as he sucks on my breast.
“Oh, Damian…” I moan, my head falling back as he hooks my thigh onto one hip, grinding his clothed manhood on my core.
The sensations rolling through me feel exquisite, heat pooling between my thighs.
Arousal moistens the crotch of my panties, overflowing and seeping through the silk fabric of my shorts.
Damian’s hands are in all the right spots, touching me, caressing my body in places that elicit more moans until he’s kissing my lips, drinking in the sounds he creates with every touch.
When he breaks the kiss again, it’s only to take a step back to appreciate my body, eyes raking over my curves while he undresses.
He’s watching me, and I’m watching him undress, biting my bottom lip as he removes his pants, his heavy, hard cock springing free, powerful thighs exposed.
Completely naked, he looks like one of those marble sculptures of Greek gods, except he’s very much alive, breathing and hot as he pulls me into his arms and guides me to my knees on the blanket.
Our kisses are more passionate now, ravenous, desperate as our bodies make skin-to-skin contact, and every nerve ending ignites with red-hot fire that burns for him to be inside me.
My hands wrap around his neck as he lays me on my back, my thighs parting as he settles between them, and his lips don’t leave mine even as he reaches between us and strokes my drenched folds with his fingers like he’s playing his favorite instrument.
He pulls back, just to stare deeply into my eyes, undressing my soul as he takes his cock in his hand and strokes the tip over my folds, gathering my slick like lubrication before he enters me.
The delicious stretch has my body awakening from what feels like eternal slumber, and I come alive once he’s inside me.
I crush my lips to his, desperate to feel everything as he begins to thrust, my thighs wrapped around his waist as he hits the depths of my core, his cock filling me perfectly, the crown grinding on my G-spot.
With every stroke, Damian leads me toward the peak of my existence, where nothing else matters but our bodies united in this sacred dance.
It feels like my body is finally relaxing, my nervous system soothed after a lifetime of fight or flight mode, and all I want is to be right here, right now, as he makes me feel like the most irresistible creature in the world.
And he does it so well, peppering my jaw and neck with passionate, open-mouthed kisses while the fire crackles beside us, showering us in warmth and coziness that makes this moment feel like it’ll last forever.
I turn my face toward the fireplace, watching the flames dance as if following the rhythm of our bodies, until I can’t stay here anymore.
I’m about to leap, and so is Damian, and he holds my hand when we both leap off the cliff into bliss together.
I can’t make sense of where I end or begin, so I cling to his kisses, drinking in his breath as if I can’t breathe on my own. We ride the high together, our bodies trembling in tandem, until we’re both spent, and Damian drops his weight onto me.
It’s only when we catch our breaths that Damian rolls onto his shoulder, scooping me into his side and cuddling me close, one arm cushioning my head as we face the fire.
As the flames simmer down as if climbing down from the high with us, a gentle fire remains, burning through the illusion I just allowed myself to be swept in.
While Damian presses a kiss to my temple, I feel my walls of defense coming up again, and I don’t move, feigning sleep with a sigh so he buys it.
I’m holding my breath until I’m sure he’s fallen asleep, my heart pounding, but for all the wrong reasons. Realization bursts the bubble we created tonight, and I can’t accept that everything is fine.
It’s not.
Nothing will ever be the same, yet things will never go back to the way they were before I knew about the existence of werewolves, witches, and demons. There’s no bubble that can protect me from those things, and that means I’m forced to face the unforgivable.
I thought I could, but I can’t forget. When all is said and done, I can’t put the past behind me.
Only I know the torture I faced in those two years, hating Damian, hating myself for simply existing, wracking my brain trying to figure out if I did something wrong.
I know that all it would take is one decision to put it to rest, but my mind isn’t strong enough, too broken by the past hurt to courageously act as I move forward.
What happened tonight was a mistake. It never should have happened. I never should have slept with Damian again, and risk losing the semblance of sanity I'd spent so much time building.
I was doing fine before all of this—before mate bonds and werewolves and supernatural creatures. But there's a pull deep inside me, a tug of my heartstrings, that stops me from leaving this place altogether.
Being at their clinic, helping the patients, fighting beside them earlier tonight.
I know I said I didn't care about destiny, and I didn't care about fate. But then why does it feel like I'm meant to be here, in the valley, amongst these people who need me?
It feels like I belong; this place feels like home, while the only intruder is the man with his arm around me, holding me close as if I'm the most important thing in the world to him.
There's a part of me that will always be insecure, a part of me that won't forget the past, a part of me that will always be unsure about the future.
And one night of weakness can't take away all the pain I felt.
I need to get away from Damian before my heart breaks again. I can't go through what I went through in the past for a second time.
I don't think I'd survive it.