Chapter 11 – Sera
Chapter Eleven
SERA
Today is the day. The day I let go of my fears and accept his proposal. The darkness to my light, he is worth the pain of loss. He is worth the numbered years. I might only hold him in my arms for a few decades, but I’ll hold him in my heart for an eternity.
Being the only fae in a realm full of humans means saying goodbye to those I love.
I didn’t mean to fall for him, but I did.
As a young girl, I always dreamed of finding my mate someday, but being stuck in the forsaken realm with no other fae in sight?
That was a dream I let go of. Lukai has shown me more love than I could have ever hoped for, always showering me with gifts and affection. I’ve never been happier.
I put on my prettiest dress, curl my hair in the way I know he likes, and head over to his home.
I’ve spent the last decade in Altaenia, working for a wealthy family. If the stars align, I can stay here for the next few decades before anyone notices my lack of aging.
My heart pounds with excitement as I walk up to his small cottage, the cottage that will hopefully become mine too. Will we be able to have children? Perhaps we can try? Then maybe I won’t be so alone in this realm when he’s gone.
I push the door open, calling out, “Lukai, I’m here!”
I freeze in my steps when I catch him standing with his arms around a half-dressed woman, his hair clearly mussed and lips swollen from kissing.
“Fina, shit, I wasn’t expecting you today,” Lukai grumbles.
My mouth hangs open, and words completely fail me.
When I finally gain my composure, the girl adjusts her skirts and turns around, looking at me sheepishly. “I don’t know what’s going on here, but I’m going to see my way out,” she simpers.
“Lorelle, you don’t need to leave,” Lukai whines, cupping her cheek before sliding his hand down her arm possessively.
I’m going to be sick. My arms wrap around my middle to keep my insides from falling out.
I can’t breathe. I can’t think. My vision is unfocused.
The betrayal cuts deeper than a knife, and I’m bleeding out.
Surely I’m dying because nothing else could explain this pain, nothing else could inflict this kind of emotional damage.
Eyes of sapphire I’ve spent so many hours drowning in.
Jet-black hair I love to tangle my hands in.
Strong hands that have held, caressed, loved, now inflicting the deepest pain without even laying a finger on me. No, they’re on her.
“No, you’re right. You need to leave right now,” I say, my voice clipped. “I need to talk to my betrothed.” I seethe, and the girl looks downright embarrassed. She grabs a cloak and practically runs out the door.
When we’re finally alone, I roll my shoulders back, keeping my spine straight.
“Who in the hells was that, Lukai?” I demand.
“Did you not ask me to bind with you only last week?” Tears well up in my eyes, but I do everything I can to hold them in.
I don’t want him to see me break, but I fear it’s too late.
I’m shaking. A pit has formed in the depths of my stomach that makes me want to die. How could he betray me like this?
“Fina, my sweet,” Lukai croons, stepping in front of me, smoothing his hair back with a hand. “You made your feelings quite clear.”
I frown, shaking my head. “No, I told you I needed time to think. I told you it could be hard with my secret, but I thought you wanted to make it work.”
He sighs. “While the idea of an eternally beautiful wife is definitely appealing, you were right. There is no future for us. I don’t want to leave my home to continue hiding your secret.
I want a family, children, and definitely not the little half-breed babes you’d produce.
It’s been fun. You’re a perfectly lovely fuck.
” I stiffen. He slides a hand behind my neck, tilting my head back so I look up at him.
His thumb rubs along my throat, and I hate how my body responds to him, how there’s a part of me that wants him to beg for my forgiveness.
To tell me Lorelle was a mistake. I want him to want me.
To fight for me. “You’ll just never be enough,” he continues.
“It’s time to move on. I’m sorry. I never should have proposed we be bound.
I was too caught up by your pretty little cu—”
I slap him across the face, the crack reverberating through the small cottage, but all he does is grin. It’s a dark thing that sends a chill down my spine.
“Considering you interrupted my afternoon plans, how about one last romp for old times’ sake?”
“I don’t know how I could have ever thought I loved you . . . that you loved me,” I spit out, backing away. “You’re the worst kind of man. A liar, a cheat . . . You’re not who I thought you were.”
A harsh laugh comes out of him. “You think any man would ever want you? You’re a filthy fae. You’re different. You should count yourself lucky I showed you any attention at all.”
I continue to back away from him, disgust and bitter anger coating my tongue.
I am the biggest fool for allowing myself to fall for him, for allowing myself to care, to even dare to hope for a happily ever after.
I don’t belong here. A happy ending will never be within my grasp.
Even if I were home, it never could have been my choice.
My future was determined before my birth.
It is our way, unless one is lucky enough to find their mate.
It is one of the reasons I dreamed of other worlds and spent so many hours at the side of that pool, the portal that stole me from my home.
“Goodbye, Lukai,” I say, leaving the cottage.
For just a moment, heat prickles in my fingertips.
I reach for it, enjoying the sensation. Why it’s responding to me now after all this time, I’m not sure, but perhaps it’s a small gift from the Mother, a small reminder that I’m not completely alone.
My fingers brush along the doorframe, and a spark leaves them, but I’m too numb to care.
I’m too angry and broken . . . too betrayed.
I walk away, my back ramrod straight, chin lifted high. I won’t give him the satisfaction of seeing me break anymore. No. He can burn with all his possessions for all I care.
Shouts ring out along with the crackling of burning wood as I leave behind the man I’ve given far more than he ever deserved.
Present
The all too familiar pang of betrayal cuts through me, the fire of my anger raging in my veins, but no.
That’s not fair. I left Alex. I told him nothing could ever happen between us, and I meant it.
This cursed swan is taking over; what kind of life could I even offer?
Alex knows nothing of mates. He couldn’t even begin to understand how painful it was for me to see him with someone else. I left him. So why do I feel like this?
The flashes of memory keep blurring the past with the present. It’s not Lukai I see, but Alex with his arms around someone else. I blink, trying to scrub the sight from my memory.
I’m the fool who ran straight to his rooms, even knowing he would be returning from Maardune betrothed .
. . though he claims not to be. I curse the flicker of hope at that revelation.
These past months have been a whirlwind of emotions, with so many highs and so many lows.
My mind drifts to that first morning four months ago when I woke up where I didn’t belong.
My breath comes out in a puff of white, and my toes are completely numb from the cold.
Where in the hells am I? I take in the unfamiliar canopy of trees along with the full-body ache from sleeping on the hard, frozen ground.
These aren’t the palace gardens. I roll into a seated position, wrapping my arms around my bare legs.
If not for the power lying dormant beneath my skin, I surely would have lost toes or fingers to frostbite by now.
There’s no pile of blankets or clothes. I’m naked and alone in the forest with no clue where I am.
Get up, Seraphine, I command myself despite wanting to curl up into a ball and go back to sleep.
Blowing out another frosty breath, I force myself to stand.
I reach behind my head and work at untangling the mess of braids my hair is in, hoping it will provide me with the tiniest bit of warmth and modesty in case I run into someone out here.
I tug on the ends that barely hang past my breasts, wishing I hadn’t sheared off the extra inches only days ago.
My bare feet crunch through dead leaves as I make my way through the trees, hoping to find a road or landmark to let me know where I am.
As the sun rises, the temperature climbs, and I enjoy the warmth that radiates through me.
I must be farther south because it hasn’t been this warm in Elsmont in at least a month.
Why in the hells did the swan fly so far from home?
Anxiety pulses, and I start to run as realization crashes over me.
How could I be so dumb? Swans migrate south in the winter.
If I make it home, perhaps I can ask Prince Kian to lock me up to keep me from leaving.
Who will look after Papa Johnny if I’m gone for months?
What if the swan never lets me return at all?
Panic starts to override all sense as my swift fae feet crash through the underbrush and I run north, guided by the sun’s position.
Gods only know what I look like, a blur of pale skin and silver-blonde hair streaming behind me, some forest sprite come to life.