Chapter 35 – Sera
Chapter Thirty-Five
SERA
It’s been days and Jade hasn’t returned, with or without Alex. Did something go terribly wrong? Was she caught and locked up in the dungeons? If only I had a way of knowing what was going on, I could perhaps have a damned moment of peace. Do I need to turn myself in or try to rescue them on my own?
Every night, I’ve begged, pleaded, and fought the swan, trying to find common ground or any sense of acceptance, but it feels utterly impossible.
This is not the same as being born a shifter; it’s a curse far beyond my control.
Even now, the swan stirs beneath my skin although there are hours of daylight left.
What if I start losing more time? What if I shift and never come back?
If I’m not obsessing over the swan, I’m replaying every interaction with Alex in my mind.
I can’t say when exactly, but he’s burrowed his way right into my heart, and I couldn’t get him out if I tried.
It’s not just the mate bond, it’s him. I think about his lazy smiles, his sense of humor, and how he’s always so conscientious of what I need.
I’ve watched him fight for his sobriety and come out stronger.
How selfish of me to hold myself back from him, to not even give him the chance to choose our bond for himself.
After pacing back and forth in the living area, Roman kicked me out of the house. I was stressing him out, and goddess knows pastries will crumble if the atmosphere in the room is wrong.
Thunder rumbles in the distance, and I look to the sky. While the suns are still out, ominous dark clouds are moving in from the east. A chill trails down my spine, but I shake it off as I continue walking around the idyllic pond.
Roman is the only one home, as Gianni and the rest of their brothers are out working the fields beyond the wards.
I wish I had someone other than Roman to talk to, but for now, I’m stuck outside, even with the potential for rain.
A little water never hurt anyone. Perhaps the rain will bring the brothers back sooner and we can play a round of cards or Simon can play the fiddle again and we can dance.
I need something, anything, to distract me from this never-ending wait.
Gods, Jade better get her ass back here soon, or at least find a way to send word before I lose my damned mind.
There’s a rustling in the trees across the pond, and I perk up. Is it Atley? Another crack of thunder, and a strong gust whips my hair around my face. Perhaps it’s no one. Just the wind.
A fat raindrop lands on my cheek, and unease fills me as the clouds move and completely block the suns. My fae hearing detects the faintest crunch of footsteps behind the shimmer of the wards, and I tilt my head. Perhaps someone is coming.
My heart leaps when Alex breaks through the trees, but all too quickly, it falters. His stride is purposeful. Why is he looking at me like that? I take a step toward him, but a sense of wrongness holds me back.
“Alex!” I cry out. “Are you all right?”
He’s ten paces away and not slowing. There’s darkness behind his eyes, and I find myself taking a step back as he circles around the pond that ripples as the raindrops start to fall.
“Alex?” I ask again. Why won’t he talk to me?
Five paces.
“Say something!”
Two.
Terror twists my stomach into knots when he reaches over his shoulder and pulls a giant axe. This isn’t him. This can’t be him. Something is horribly wrong.
I stumble backward, putting distance between us as something inside screams at me to run.
“Alex, are you in there?” Lightning forks through the sky, casting an ominous glow over the man I’ve fallen for. The man who looks like he wants to kill me.
“R-r-run,” he nearly growls. Pain wracks his features, and I know this isn’t him. This is her, the evil queen. What did she do to my mate?
Rain cascades from the heavens, and I turn and race into the woods, Alex’s heavy steps crashing after me. I don’t want to hurt him, but I can’t let him hurt me either. What do I do?
Mud forms beneath my feet, and I slip. Could this be any worse? I look behind me, and Alex is only a few breaths away. The glance costs me as I trip over a giant tree root, hitting the ground hard.
Alex’s axe sings as it slices through the air and lands with a thud right next to my leg. I can’t believe he actually swung.
“Alex, please,” I cry. “Please come back to me.” I scramble up and away as quickly as I can, but he’s gaining on me again.
My fae swiftness is not enough. The rain is making everything worse.
I can’t believe it’s going to end like this.
Death at the hands of my mate is not how I thought I would go, nor should it even be possible.
It must be incredibly painful for Alex to do this.
Fuck the queen. The mate bond must be tearing him apart inside.
“Pl-pl-please, run!” Alex breathes, and I sob. This is so unfair.
I keep running. Running. Running. My legs are wobbling, my feet are screaming, yet he doesn’t falter, doesn’t waver as he stalks after his prey. Me.
I can’t hurt him. I won’t hurt him.
My hands fill with flames, but they sizzle with each drop of rain that falls. I pick up two large branches, turning back to face him, lighting them with my fire. “Stay away. I don’t want to hurt you.”
His hazel eyes are full of pain and anger. “I can’t stop. She won’t let me.”
We’re both panting, exhaustion from this chase through the woods getting the best of both of us.
I throw the branches onto the ground to create a barrier between us, willing my fire to burn and hold despite the rain, then I turn and run again.
Trees pass by in a blur, my vision clouded by my tears and the heavy downpour.
I have no idea where I am or where I’m going, but Alex is never far behind.
My heart is going to give out. I can’t take this anymore.
With a ragged breath, I fall to my knees, waiting for the inevitable axe to fall. Waiting for death. Perhaps it will be a mercy. The swan is winning the battle for control, and if Alex is lost to me, what else do I have?
Footsteps crunch in the debris, and I curl into myself, letting the rain chill me to the bone.
“I can’t run anymore,” I whisper. “Do what you must.”
Alex roars in pain, and I gasp at the agony he radiates through the bond.
When I dare a look over my shoulder, he’s there, standing over me, looking like a dark, vengeful god fighting against the axe in his hand. Sweat beads his brow, and his face is contorted as he fights an invisible force.
“Sera,” he whispers. “Pl-please. I-I need you to run. I c-can’t . . .” Another howl leaves his lips, and my body trembles, but I’m so tired. So godsdamned tired.
“I love you, Alex,” I whisper, tears streaming down my face, blending with the rain. “I understand. I know this isn’t you.”
Alex’s knees buckle, and he crashes to the muddy ground in front of me, still holding the axe back, fighting the pull.
“I’m not running anymore,” I say a little more forcefully, and I crawl to him.
“Stay back,” he groans. “I’m not in control.”
“It’s okay,” I say, closing the distance between us.
“No, it’s not,” Alex grits out. “You need to run. She wants your heart.”
I grab his face between my hands, and he shudders beneath my touch. The whisper of the blade near me is so close, too close, but I feel the tension in his body as he fights the compulsion.
“Alex, look at me,” I beg. His usually warm hazel eyes meet mine, but the darkness within is so cold.
“I will kill you,” he breathes, pain etched in each word. “Gods, I don’t want to, but I can’t hold back much longer.”
“I’m done running from you,” I breathe. “I’m sorry. So incredibly sorry for running from you, from this bond between us . . . for not telling you. Please forgive me,” I beg. “I’ve fallen for you, Alex, and if this is my last act in this realm, it’s okay. I just need you to know I love you.”
A tear slides down his cheek, and I hate how much pain he’s in. I would burn that bitch to the ground for this if I could.
Before I can second-guess, I close the distance between us and press my lips to his.
One final kiss. A kiss goodbye. A groan comes out of Alex as our mouths touch, and I cry at the taste of him, at how he still feels like home despite him trying to kill me.
Hells, I’m a mess. I run my hands up into his hair, it’s a little longer than the last time, and I dig my fingers into the wet locks.
“Sera—” he breathes into my mouth as I deepen the kiss, my tongue dancing over his.
With a thud, the axe hits the ground and Alex wraps his arms around me, holding me tight.
His kiss is insistent and demanding, his fingers digging into my flesh almost painfully.
Something snaps between us, and I sense it; the bond I’ve been fighting begins to solidify.
Alex nips at my neck, and I moan at the sensation. I need him. I’ve missed him. Oh gods, how I need him.
“Sera—” He gasps again, squeezing tightly, his entire body stiffening. “You n-need to go. I don’t think I can stop myself from hurting you. I’m losing control again.”
“I’m not going to leave you.” I pepper kisses on his face, the tension still straining his body.
“I’m going to hurt you,” he pants. “Please. I’ll never forgive myself. Put me out of my damned misery, Spitfire. End me before I end you.”
“I’m not going to let her win,” I cry, squeezing him closer.
“I can’t hold back much longer,” he whispers, his hand cupping my cheek. “You have to take me out.”
Before I can reply, Alex sucks in a breath, surprise then panic lacing his features before his body goes limp.