Chapter 7 Kael
It was working.
Barely.
But it was working.
As long as I stayed away from Seranni, there was no chance my dragon would overpower me. No chance my instincts would betray her trust. No chance I’d ruin the fragile peace we’d found in this tower.
The longer I stayed away, the less chance there was for my magic to affect her against her will. And as soon as she found what she was looking for, she would leave the tower and be safe.
Far away from me.
It seemed she had understood it as well, for I felt her pulling away from me.
My walks through the forest had grown longer. My patrols stretched into the evening as I trudged through snow-covered paths, the cold biting at my exposed skin. It didn’t bother me—not really. The frozen air was a welcome distraction, a salve against the fire that burned whenever I thought of her.
Seranni.
She hadn’t protested my absence. In fact, I could feel her pulling away, retreating into her work the way I had retreated into the woods. We still shared meals together, but there was no more sitting before the fire and no more long, peaceful afternoons spent poring over the mage’s books together, looking for the answers to our problems within the pages. She spent most of her time holed up in her room, avoiding me whenever she could.
I missed her laughter. The way her voice softened when she spoke to me. The way her dark curls caught the firelight, turning them to liquid gold.
It was a small price to pay to keep her safe, even if the dragon within me roared to stay by her side, to cuddle into her warmth, to rub its snout all over her and scent her with himself.
I had to keep Seranni safe. Even from myself.
After every meal, I escaped into the woods. I walked for miles, hunting for game, collecting firewood, and checking on the town, making sure that no one else was ready to make an expedition to the tower. The biting winter cold had taken care of most curiosity seekers, everyone was inside, bundled up against the cold.
Except for me.
Even if my dragon blood wasn’t keeping me warm in the snow, I would still be stalking the woods, drifting through the shadowy woods as I waited until I could be sure that Seranni was asleep before I returned.
If I wanted to keep Seranni safe from the beast within me, I had to stay away.
My dreams, however, were another matter entirely.
In them, she was wrapped around me, warm and willing and wet . Sometimes, she came to me, while in others she called me to her, enticing me with a slow seduction until we tumbled into bed together.
In all of my dreams though, she was as desperate for me as I was for her—her hair open and spread out on my pillow, her lips red and slick from my kisses, her skin marked by my love bites, and her eyes closed in bliss as she whispered her pleas in my ears for more, Kael—faster, please, harder —
I clenched my fists against the memory of those dreams, the ones that left me sweating and restless. My hands shook and my spoon dropped with a clatter. Seranni turned to look at me and I shook my head, forcing words past my dry throat.
“Sorry, feeling clumsy today.”
“Kael, are you sure you’re feeling alright?” She hesitated a moment before she pushed her chair back and stood up, coming toward me to lay a hand on my forehead. and it was all I could do not to flinch away from her. My dragon liked the feeling of her hands on my skin a little too much.
Take her , my dragon roared. She is yours .
My dragon was very clear. It was what I had taken to calling the beast within me, the sly voice that urged me to live by my instincts and take what I wanted. And what he wanted right now was Seranni , spread out on the kitchen table before us.
It would be so easy, just a single step forward and then I could slide my hands up her skirts and lift her onto the table—
“I’m fine,” I babbled, looking over Seranni’s shoulder and trying to avoid seeing down her shirt. “Just feeling a little tired. Didn’t sleep very well last night, you know.”
“I see.”
“Are we out of firewood? I think we’re out of firewood. I’ll go get some more.”
Ignoring her protests, I nearly ran for the door and slipped into the chilly night. Outside, the cold hit me like a slap, sharp and bracing. Snow crunched beneath my boots as I stalked through the woods, each breath puffing in white clouds. My heart hammered in my chest, the dragon’s growl still echoing in my mind.
If I continued to avoid Seranni , eventually, the beast within would calm down.
Right?
Oh, my dragon still clawed at the restraints I’d placed on him, but if I stayed away from Seranni, eventually he would understand that she was off limits. She was too good , too kind to be defiled by a dragon.
And things would have continued to go perfectly, if it hadn’t been for the storm.
It blew in out of nowhere. One day, the skies were clear—foggy and grey, but clear—and the tower was enough to keep out the worst of the wind.
Then, the storm arrived without warning, its fury unleashed in the dead of night.
The wind howled through the trees, rattling the shutters and slamming against the tower walls. Rain lashed against the windows, mingled with ice that glittered like shards of glass under the faint moonlight. I was already on edge, pacing my room as the storm grew worse. The dragon stirred uneasily, its instincts sharp and restless. Something was coming.
The crash of splintering wood brought me to the window in an instant. A massive branch, torn from the towering pine outside, smashed through the wall. The cold hit me first, followed by the rain, soaking everything in seconds. The weight of the branch crushed part of my bed and scattered shards of stone across the room.
Suddenly, my bedroom was open to the pouring rain.
“Kael!” Seranni’s voice carried through the storm, panicked and breathless.
I turned to see her standing in the doorway, clutching her shawl tightly around her shoulders. Her eyes widened as she took in the destruction, darting from the ruined bed to the rain-soaked books on my desk.
“We need to move everything,” she said, her voice firm. “Before the rain ruins it all.”
I hesitated, torn between protecting her from the storm and shielding her from my own turmoil. But the determination in her gaze left no room for argument.
There was no help for it, I had to put aside my reticence to be in the same room as her.
Together, we worked in silence, moving books, clothes, and anything salvageable out of the wreckage. The rain poured through the jagged hole in the wall, drenching us both as we scrambled to save what we could. By the time we finished, my hands were numb, and Seranni’s cheeks were pale with exhaustion.
“Well,” she said finally, brushing a strand of wet hair from her face. “We’ll sort out the rest tomorrow.”
She looked around, frowning. “Where will you sleep?”
“It doesn’t matter,” I said gruffly, grabbing a towel to dry myself off.
“Don’t be ridiculous,” she replied, planting her hands on her hips. “You can share my room tonight.”
I stared at her, stunned.
“It’s the only option,” she insisted, her voice softening. “I trust you, Kael.”
Her words hit me like a blow. I wanted to refuse, to push her away again. But the look in her eyes—so warm, so steady—left me defenseless.
“Alright,” I murmured.
Her room was smaller than mine, the walls lined with shelves of books and potion bottles. The bed was modest but inviting, draped in a thick woolen blanket.
“I’m sorry, I don’t have any extra bed clothes you can use, you’ll have to make do with these,” Seranni said, waving at the rumpled bed clothes.
“I’m sorry for disturbing your rest,” I said, walking over to the chair that was placed before her fireplace. It would be cramped, but it would only be for the night. Tomorrow, I would repair the roof or sleep in the kitchen.
Seranni lay down, cocooning herself in the woolen blankets. Her eyes were already heavy with sleep, and she looked at me as I stood stock still in the middle of the room.
“Well, get in, Kael.”
I stared at her, unable to believe my ears. When I said nothing in response, Seranni clicked her teeth in exasperation.
“There’s nowhere else to sleep, Kael. Half the tower’s fallen down around our ears. Just bunk up for tonight and we can sort it all out tomorrow.”
I shook my head, still unable to say a word.
She raised her head to look at me, and her eyes softened. “It’s alright, really. I don’t mind.” Suddenly, she grinned, and plonked a pillow in the middle of the bed. “See, I’ll even put this pillow in between us so you can preserve your modesty.”
Despite myself, I chuckled. Then I sighed, taking a step closer. “I just don’t want…”
To inconvenience you. To hurt you. To let my dragon get the better of me and maul you in your sleep.
I shrugged, and finally, Seranni sat up in bed to look at me seriously. “Look, Kael, you’re going to make me feel bad if you stand there all night. I trust you. I know you won’t hurt me. And I promise I won’t hurt you. We both need to sleep. So,” she patted the bed again, “come on.”
Reluctantly, I made my way over to the bed. Gingerly, I got under the blankets, lying on my side and keeping Seranni’s pillow between us like a makeshift modesty wall. Seranni turned toward the wall with a mumbled goodnight, keeping her back to me.
I thought I wouldn’t be able to sleep, but before I knew it, I succumbed to slumber.
I woke up to a puff of warm air against my neck, and a slim hand on my chest. I had turned away from Seranni last night to give her privacy, but this morning, she was wrapped around me. The pillow that had been a wall between us lay forgotten in a lump at our feet. Looking for warmth in the night, Seranni had twined her legs between mine, and her skirts had ridden up with the motion, exposing her slender, strong legs.
The sight of that smooth expanse of skin was nearly too much for the dragon within me, who wanted to know if it would as velvety soft to the touch as it seemed. With an effort, I dragged my gaze away, only to realize that I had fallen into more perilous danger.
Seranni’s dress had shifted in her sleep, and her bodice hung dangerously low on her breasts. My throat went dry at the shadow of darker skin I could just glimpse near the edge of her bodice. Were those her nipples, just peeking out of the top—?
I wouldn’t touch—I would just pull her top up so I couldn’t see anymore, that was all—I wouldn’t touch —
The sight of one claw against the creamy skin of her breasts was enough to jolt me from my all-consuming hunger. I had lost control of myself—the fact that I had partly transformed without even realizing it was proof of that. I wouldn’t hurt Seranni this way.
I’m a man , not a beast.
So, despite the beast that wanted to take and consume and ravish—I shuffled out of bed, and fled into the snowy morning.
When I returned to the tower with an armful of firewood, the weight of the day already heavy on my shoulders, I saw her sitting at the kitchen table. The soft glow of candlelight reflected in her dark eyes, which looked pensive as she cradled a steaming cup of tea. Her curls fell in disarray around her face, and her slender fingers tightened around the mug when she noticed me step inside.
“Your whole bedroom is gone,” she said by way of greeting, her voice carrying a note of melancholy as if she bore the blame for the storm. “I tried to save what I could, but…” She trailed off with a shake of her head. “I guess we’ll be sharing a bedroom until summer.”
I stood there for a moment, holding the firewood, unsure of what to say. Sharing her space again—after last night—felt like an exquisite form of torture. “Thank you for saving what you could,” I muttered, setting the wood by the hearth.
After a meal of bread and cheese that felt more like a chore than sustenance, Seranni and I trudged through the tower, inspecting the extent of the storm’s damage. Snow seeped into the crevices where the stone had been torn apart. The east-facing wall was nearly gone, exposing parts of the tower to the town’s view.
If anyone in Vilusia looked closely, they’d see lights flickering through the open gaps in the stone. We’d have to keep the candles low at night and hope the snow masked the tower’s vulnerability.
Rubble, stones, and mortar covered what was left of my room, and we spent most of the morning and afternoon salvaging what we could of my belongings.
“It’s worse than I thought,” Seranni murmured, her breath misting in the frigid air. Her boots crunched on the scattered rubble as she bent to inspect a fallen beam. She brushed her gloved hand over it, her brows furrowed.
“It is,” I agreed grimly, hefting a piece of broken mortar and tossing it into a growing pile. The sharp edge cut into my palm, but I barely noticed. My thoughts were already racing. “We’ll need to move some stones to reinforce the foundation before the rest of the structure collapses.”
Seranni nodded but said nothing, her gaze fixed on the jagged remains of what had once been my room.
By the time the sun began to set, we had salvaged what little we could. Books with soaked pages were laid out to dry by the fire; clothing that hadn’t been torn or soaked was folded neatly in the corner. The rest—pieces of the bedframe, shards of shattered glass—lay in a pile outside, destined to be buried in snow.
Luckily, Seranni’s room was untouched by the storm damage. All her supplies and her belongings, all the things she had smuggled into the tower at great cost were dry and safe.
After supper, when I had stoked the fire in Seranni’s room, I moved some of the furniture around to see where I could sleep for the night.
I’d taken the desk from her corner and pushed it closer to the wall, hoping to carve out enough space for a makeshift sleeping area.
It would be getting dark soon, and I had to find some place else to spend the night. Other than Seranni’s bed.
I couldn’t spend another night with Seranni in my arms, her long legs wrapped around me…
“Kael!”
I looked up to see a steaming cup thrust in my direction. Startled, I grabbed it and took a sip, enjoying the fragrant tea.
“You were miles away,” Seranni said, shaking her head. She looked back at me uncertainly. I hadn’t even heard her come in.
I gripped the steaming mug of tea in my hands, trying to ignore the way my heart raced as Seranni’s shy smile sent a familiar flutter through my chest, one I'd been battling for weeks now. I had to get out of this room before I did something I’d regret.
“Thank you,” I murmured, forcing myself to meet her gaze. “I think I’ll take this and go for a walk.” I said abruptly. The words tasted bitter in my mouth, but I couldn’t stay. Not when the air between us felt like it might catch fire at any moment. “You know, clear my head a bit.”
Seranni’s brow furrowed in concern. “In this snow?” Her eyes widened. “Is everything alright, Kael? You seem a bit...on edge.”
If only you knew the truth, I thought, my jaw tightening. “I'm fine, really. Just need some air.”
Before she could protest, I rose from the table, the wooden chair scraping against the floor. I couldn’t bear to see the hurt in her eyes as I made my hasty retreat. With a mumbled excuse, I strode towards the door, my long cloak swishing behind me.
The moment I stepped outside, the crisp, winter air hit my face, and I felt an instant wave of relief. Snowflakes drifted lazily from the sky, dusting the forest in an ethereal glow. The trees loomed tall and silent, their bare branches creaking in the wind. The snow crunched beneath my boots as I trudged through the woods, my breath billowing in white puffs.
My thoughts turned to Seranni. To the way her eyes had softened when she handed me that cup of tea, to the way her voice quavered with concern.
She deserved better than this. Better than me.
I needed to put some distance between us—for her own safety.
My dragon constantly struggled against my restraint, desperate to stake his claim on Seranni.
Why can’t you just leave her alone? I asked myself, almost wishing I could talk to my dragon nature. She’s too good for a dragon, a beast.
Something about her called to me—both my human and beastly sides. Her unwavering kindness, her fierce intellect, her radiant beauty, all of it attracted me. When I was with her, I felt...whole. Like I had finally found the missing piece to a puzzle I’d been trying to solve my entire life.
Mate , my dragon whispered, and I stopped, thunderstruck.
Was this true? Did my dragon truly think Seranni was his mate?
My thoughts whirled as I examined my heart.
It explained the undeniable draw I felt for her. Had my dragon realized a truth that I had kept hidden from myself?
Yes, my instincts told me.
But now that I knew the truth, I could never be with her. I was a wild, untamed creature, destined to die when I couldn’t hold my beastly nature back anymore.
Seranni deserved more than that. She deserved someone who could give her the world, not someone who would burn it to the ground.
As I trudged through the snow, I could feel the familiar ache of my dragon, begging to be released, my instincts screaming at me to go back to my mate.
My muscles tensed and I clenched my jaw, forcing the transformation back down.
Not now, I silently pleaded. Not when she's so close.
I had to keep Seranni safe. Even if it meant sacrificing my own happiness.
Reaching the edge of the forest, I paused, gazing up at the inky sky. The stars twinkled like diamonds, a stark contrast to the blanket of white that covered the ground. It was a breathtaking sight, one that normally filled me with a sense of wonder.
But tonight, all I felt was an overwhelming sense of loneliness.
With a heavy sigh, I turned and looked back at the tower. I could just make out the soft glow of the firelight through the window, and I knew Seranni was still inside, waiting for me.
Forgive me, my love, I thought, closing my eyes. I only wish I could be the man you deserve.
Steeling my resolve, I turned away from the light and moved deeper into the trees, no matter how much it tore me apart. For her sake, I would endure the agony of watching her from afar, never daring to reach out and claim what my heart so desperately craved.
Because in the end, a beast like me could never truly belong in her world. And I would do whatever it took to protect her from the darkness that lurked within me.