Chapter 32
It feels like my skin is being bitten by a thousand fire ants, and I want to swipe them away, but I can’t move. I’m paralyzed, consumed by darkness.
“Come on! Wake up!” a voice in the distance calls.
“What happened?” another voice seems to say.
“I-I don’t know. I just found her like this.”
There’s so much fear and panic coating the words being said, but they sound far away. Almost like they’re being said through a funnel.
“I’ll go get Leo!”
“He’s not here. He’s in Seattle. Go wake Sophia! She’ll know what to do.”
I realize now it’s Thane and Kole talking, but I can’t see them. All I can see is an endless void.
“Shit! She’s freezing.” Sophia’s voice fills the darkness now, quietly making its way through the invisible funnel. “I have to get her out of these wet clothes. Thane, go get me a bunch of blankets to wrap her in. Kole, move her to the couch. We can’t warm her too fast.”
Everything she’s saying seems to swim around me like drifting thoughts. I’m trying to make sense of it, but all I can focus on is the growing ache I feel.
As time goes on, their voices begin to fade. Floating away like the seeds of a dandelion caught in the wind. The biting pain that had been crawling beneath my skin has been replaced with a soothing warmth, the dark void all but a memory as golden light fills the space around me.
A wave of color and sound comes flooding in, pulling me like an undertow.
“She’s awake!”
Thane’s blurry face comes into focus as his golden-white irises bore into me.
“You’re okay,” he says, stroking his fingers down my face. He pauses and presses his forehead to mine, drawing in a shaky breath.
“What’s going on?” I manage with a croak.
Thane lifts me, still keeping me wrapped in a bundle of blankets, and takes a seat on the couch where I had been lying.
He presses me into him, cradling me in his lap, and it feels so unbelievably comforting that I don’t even fight him on it.
No one has ever held me like this before, and as he wraps his arms around me, there’s a quiet voice inside my heart, pleading for him to never let go.
“I woke up with this pit in my stomach. I just knew something was wrong.” His index finger runs down the side of my face and jaw as he watches the movement like he’s trying to memorize each of my features, though after seeing the painting, I think he’s already done that.
“You were outside, half buried in the snow. What were you doing out there?”
My brows pinch, and he immediately runs his thumb over them until they relax.
“I don’t know. I don’t even remember waking up.”
“Maybe she was sleepwalking,” Sophia chimes in.
“I used to do that as a kid,” I tell him, recalling the times I had woken up in odd places, not remembering how I got there. “It’s been so long since I’ve done it, though.”
“You were surrounded by images of that necklace you recognized in my paintings. It was like you had gone out there to draw them in the snow.” Half of Thane’s face is darkened by the shadows, but I can see his concern.
“What necklace?” Kole interrupts. “And what paintings?”
Thane tells Kole about the woman he’s been seeing in his dreams without ever taking his eyes off me.
“Well, what does it mean?” Sophia asks. “Clearly you’re trying to work something out if you’re drawing it in your sleep.”
“I don’t know,” I answer honestly. “It’s probably just my stupid subconscious hanging onto the one thing my mother left for me.”
“Maybe,” she says with a bit of a sigh, like my answer wasn’t satisfying enough.
“You should get some rest,” Thane says, combing his fingers through my hair.
“I’ll stay with her tonight—”
“No!” Thane cuts Kole off with a snarl. “I’ll stay with her.”
“Fine,” Kole agrees, though judging by the disdain seeping from his tone, he’s not too happy about Thane’s not-so-subtle order.
“Make sure she drinks some water,” Sophia tells Thane, as he scoops me into his arms.
I want to tell him I’m fine and that I can take care of myself, but I don’t. Not because I need this, but because he does. Just like when he needed to wipe the blood from my forehead after Troy bashed my head into the desk. Or how he needed to wash me after the incident with the dunk tank.
Before, I hadn’t let him act on the mark’s impulse, but things are different now.
Even if it’s only because of the growing strength of the bond, I can see that he doesn’t want to hurt me anymore.
Maybe it’s time that I learn to accept the two of us are forever linked.
Slaves to this bond that we both have to feed.
“Here.” Thane hands me a nightgown from my dresser. “Sophia had to remove your other one so that we could warm you.”
“Oh, thanks.” Thane turns around to offer me some privacy as I slip it on and climb into bed.
“I’ll be in my wolf form,” he says, turning around to face me. “If you need anything at all, you tell me.” It’s more of an order than a suggestion, and I nod my agreement.
“Thank you,” I whisper, before rolling over so that he can strip down to shift.
“I’ll always be there for you.”
His words hang in the air. The truth of them lingering like a silent promise. Just as I’m about to close my eyes, Thane jumps onto the bed. He spins around in a circle a few times before eventually curling up next to me.
His enormous wolf body takes up two-thirds of the king-sized bed, and yet there’s still too much space between us.
I might regret it in the morning, but I scoot over until I feel the curve of his body pressed up against mine.
The similar sound of a purr emanates from him as if to tell me he needed to feel me too, and I pull my left hand from beneath the covers to stroke his soft fur.
Everything about this interaction should feel weird, but it doesn’t.
Instead, it feels like the most natural thing in the world.
In this moment, it doesn’t matter that he’s a hybrid and I’m a human. It doesn’t matter that his people killed mine. It doesn’t matter that he hurt me or that there’s a bond forcing us together.
In this moment, all that matters is that we’re together.
When I wake, Thane is already gone. I wouldn’t expect him to still be here, but there’s a pang of longing as I run my hand over the space he had taken up.
Last night was like a fever dream. Up until now, we had been toeing this line between hating one another and tolerating one another.
But last night, when he held me in his arms and curled up next to me, something changed between us.
I had thought that waking up would bring clarity.
That everything I felt last night would be washed away by the morning light.
But as I lay in bed, staring at the ceiling, I can’t shake the feeling that last night marked the start of a new beginning with us.
What that beginning is, I’m not sure, but I’m guessing I’ll find out soon enough.
“Come in!” I shout when I hear a knock at the door.
Kole comes waltzing in with a tray full of giant cinnamon rolls and other pastries.
“After last night, I thought you could use some breakfast in bed.” He sets the tray down in the middle of the bed before stretching out next to me with his arm behind his head. “How are you feeling?”
“I feel okay,” I tell him, picking up one of the thick cinnamon rolls. I begin unraveling it and take a bite, unable to hold back the moan as the delicious taste of cream cheese frosting kisses my taste buds. “I can’t even remember the last time I had one of these.”
“Have you ever tried the ones with orange icing?” Kole asks, swiping his finger over the top of one. I watch as he runs his tongue along his finger, licking up the sweet icing. “Those are my favorite.”
“Can’t say I have.”
“Well, I’ll have to make them for you some time, because you’re missing out.”
“Deal.”
He sits up, turning to me with a serious expression. “I know you said you feel okay, but I still think you should take it easy today.” I laugh, and his face tenses. “What’s so funny?”
“I mean, what did you think I’d be doing today? It’s not like I have to go out hunting and gathering anymore.”
He drops back onto the pillow with a huff of laughter. “I suppose you have a point.”
“There’s a book in Thane’s library I kind of want to check out.
I saw it the night of the garden party when I snuck in there, and I’ve been dying to get my hands on it.
” I slump back down into the bed and turn on my side to face Kole.
“Maybe he’ll take pity on me and let me go into the forbidden east wing. ”
“I’ll put in a good word for you,” he offers with a smile.
His gaze drifts off somewhere past me, and his smile falls away.
“What’s wrong?” I ask, propping myself up on my elbow.
“His scent is all over your bed.”
“Whose? Thane’s?” I ask, trying to figure out what he’s thinking.
Kole’s jaw ticks while the rest of his features go rigid. He abruptly stands and heads for the door, but I chase after him.
“What’s wrong?” I press my palm against the door to keep him from leaving, and I’m not even sure why. It just feels like he’s hurting, and something about that makes me feel awful.
“Nothing,” he dismisses in a low voice.
“Clearly, something is wrong. Just talk to me.” It comes out as almost a plea, and his head snaps up.
Kole glances over his shoulder at the bed and then back at me.
“It’s not important. I’ll see you later.”
Before I can reply, he bolts out of the room, this time using his vamp speed.
By now, a giant pit has formed in my stomach.
One second everything was fine, and the next, it was like some part of him was breaking.
Even with him trying to mask his feelings, I could see the pain behind his eyes.
What could Thane’s scent have triggered for him?
Maybe a childhood memory? Whatever it was, he clearly didn’t want to share it with me, and that shouldn’t bother me, but it does.
I’m usually the one who is closed off and runs when things get hard.
I’m not used to being on the receiving end, and I’ve got to say, I don’t like it.
In an effort to distract myself, I grab my phone and text Sienna, telling her all about the events of last night. Knowing her, I’m sure she’ll enjoy the part where Thane slept next to me all night.
When she doesn’t immediately reply, I head for the bathroom to get ready.
She’s probably busy with werewolf business, and a small part of me is envious.
I’ve spent my whole life fighting to survive, and now there’s just nothing.
No job, no school, no hunting. Not that I’m complaining, but for once, it feels like I’m just existing with no purpose at all.
A knock on my bedroom door pulls me from the thought before it has a chance to blossom into a full-blown spiral.
“Thane,” I breathe, as I come face to face with his broad chest.
“Kole mentioned there’s a book in my library you want to read.” He holds out a key. “The rest of the east wing is off limits.”
I take the key from him, and for a split second, our fingertips brush. Just like when he handed me his pen to sign the contract, my whole body is set ablaze by the smallest touch.
“Thanks,” I say in a voice so small he probably only heard it with his vampire hearing.
“I’ll be in the dungeon if you need anything.”
I watch as he turns and heads down the stairs.
It’s the first time I’ve seen him since he spent last night curled up beside me, and that’s all he had to say?
Even Kole had the decency to ask how I was doing.
After Thane’s reaction last night, I thought he might at least say something about it, but I guess he’s moved on.
He stayed with me, satisfying the bond’s need for him to protect me, and that’s that.
The way he looked at me, the way he cradled me in his arms—it was all just to feed the bond.
Last night didn’t change anything. There’s no new beginning.
He’s a hybrid Alpha, and I’m just the human he marked.