Chapter 38
The log cabin is the epitome of cozy. The vaulted, dark cherry wood ceiling makes it feel bigger than it looks from the outside, and there’s a subtle scent of cinnamon that washes over me the moment I walked through the door.
Kole darts around, lighting the fireplace and candles while I take in the spacious living room decorated with fur rugs and dark brown furniture, draped with plaid blankets that I’m sure I’ll be wrapping myself up in later.
Before we settle in for the night, Kole gives me a quick tour, telling me that he’ll take the couch so that I can have the bedroom, and for some reason, my heart sinks when I hear that.
I do my best to shake it off and perch myself on one of the barstools, watching him work his magic while he starts to cook up a pot of chili.
“I still can’t believe you built this.” I look around at all the details, completely amazed that he put this entire place together.
“It’s because I’m pretty.” He stops cutting the onions and looks up at me, pretending to toss his hair back.
“Honestly… I think it might be,” I agree with a breath of laughter.
“Well, don’t be fooled by this work of art.” He waves his hand in front of his face. “I still know how to get down and dirty.”
“You say that, but I can’t imagine it.”
“Well, maybe if you’re nice to me, I’ll build you a house of your own someday.” When I don’t say anything, Kole looks back over at me. “Did I say something wrong?”
I shake my head. “No. Not at all. I just…”
He stops cooking and walks over, turning me around on the barstool to face him.
“Talk to me.” He tucks my hair behind my ear before dropping his hand to my knee, awakening every cell in my body.
“It’s nothing,” I say, looking down at my hands in my lap.
Kole tilts my chin up, forcing me to look into his white eyes that seem to hold a thousand unsaid promises.
“It’s not nothing.” His thumb strokes my jaw with the lightest touch. “Show me the girl the rest of the world never gets to see.”
His aura is so comforting that I can feel my walls crumbling beneath his gaze. It’s like he’s my own personal kryptonite, weakening my defenses every time I’m around him.
“You guys keep talking about the future, and it scares me.” He drops his hand, and I look down at my lap again.
“Why does it scare you?” His voice is rough now, like hearing me say that hurts him.
“Because nothing good ever lasts.”
“Sometimes it does, Grey.” He grabs my hands in his, running his thumbs over my knuckles. “Sometimes things work out.”
“Not for me.” A single tear drops from my eye and lands on his hand, giving me away.
“Look at me.” I shake my head, but he doesn’t accept it, cupping my face between his palms. When I finally give in and look at him, he looks like he’s been gut-punched.
“You deserved a better life than the one you were given.” His voice is solemn, and yet firm.
“But I need you to know that that life is over. The foster homes. The streets. The instability. The abandonment. The loneliness. It doesn’t exist for you anymore.
You have a new life now, and I know all of the pain and trauma you’ve endured can’t just be erased.
I know it will take time for you to accept that things are different now, but I want you to know that it’s okay to hope, and dream, and plan for the future. ”
“If I allow myself to do that, then it’ll only hurt more when it all falls apart.”
Kole rests his forehead against mine, exhaling a deep sigh. “It won’t fall apart this time.”
“I wish I could believe that.”
Even though Kole was clearly bothered by my refusal to believe that things might actually work out for once, he didn’t let it ruin our time. Instead, he silenced all of my dark thoughts, guiding me to safety like a lighthouse on the coast.
We fell into effortless conversation, laughing and teasing one another as we played games and sat by the fire.
With Thane, we’re always arguing or baiting one another, but with Kole, it’s as easy as breathing.
I find myself opening up to him in ways I’ve never opened up to anyone, and tonight, I realized just how much of a friendship we’ve built.
The truth is, he’s as much my friend as Sienna is.
I think the only reason I haven’t noticed it until now is because I feel more than just friendship with him.
But if I were to strip away those feelings and really look at the two of us, it’s glaringly obvious.
As Kole cleans up, I check the time to see that it’s already eleven o’clock.
The excitement of the day has been replaced by exhaustion, and I force myself off the couch to go wash my face.
Kole gives me one of his long sleeve shirts to sleep in, and even though it only falls to the middle of my thighs, I find it much more comfortable than the silk nightgowns I’ve been wearing.
He tells me goodnight and makes his way back out to the living room, but when I reach for the door to close it, I decide to leave it open.
The bed is layered with thick blankets that immediately warm me, and I roll over, slipping my hand beneath the pillow as I get a whiff of Kole’s scent.
It’s different than Thane’s, but just as intoxicating.
Where Thane’s scent is masculine and all-consuming, Kole’s is almost familiar.
Like all of my favorite things have somehow been fused together.
As I breathe him in, my heart bursts with happiness and peace.
It feels like bathing in sunlight, and I let the comfort of it ease my mind as I try to fall asleep.
When I open my eyes again, three hours have passed. It feels like I’ve only been lying here for twenty minutes, trying to quiet my thoughts, but no matter how hard I try, I can’t stop thinking about Kole. About how I wish he were next to me instead of on the couch.
Sharing a bed with Thane was a line I refused to cross.
It felt like I needed that with him because of our complicated relationship.
But with Kole, it feels like a punishment.
Like I’m depriving myself of his presence.
I know I should just let it go and throw the covers over my head until the sun comes up, but instead I find myself climbing out of bed.
I hesitate in the doorway, watching the rise and fall of his muscular chest from a distance.
Kole is the kind of beautiful you could get lost in.
The kind that draws you in and puts you in a trance.
I lean against the doorframe as if I plan on staying for a while, but the wood creaks, and Kole’s eyes snap open.
In a heartbeat, he’s standing in front of me, concern swimming behind his glowing irises.
“What’s wrong?”
I shake my head, mentally reprimanding myself for getting out of bed.
“Nothing’s wrong. I just couldn’t sleep.”
“Oh. Do you want me to make you some tea?” he asks, running his hand through his disheveled curls.
I’m about to take him up on his offer, but instead, my mouth seems to have a mind of its own.
“Actually, could you just lie next to me until I fall asleep?”
His brows shoot up to his hairline, and I’m equally surprised by my request. It almost felt involuntary.
“Of course,” he replies, not even trying to hide his smile.
Unlike Thane’s California king, this one is only a queen, leaving little space between us.
Kole positions himself on his side with his arm tucked beneath the pillow, and I mirror him as the two of us look each other over in silence, like we’re both trying to convince ourselves that us being together in a bed is completely harmless.
“What happened to you and Thane growing up?” The question slips out before I could even stop it, and Kole’s face immediately tenses, making my stomach knot. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”
“It’s okay,” he reassures, running his index and middle finger through the rogue piece of hair that has fallen across my face. My eyelids fall shut from the comfort of it. “Maybe knowing would help you understand Thane better.”
My eyes open just as Kole’s hand slips away, leaving me aching for his touch.
“Are you sure? I don’t want you to feel like you have to tell me.”
His left dimple peeks out, making my heart skitter.
“Yes, Grey. I want you to know.” He exhales a weighted breath, mentally preparing to relive the past. “Our mother was mated to my father. It’s basically the human equivalent of marriage.
One day, a few vampires in my mother’s coven had gone rogue and attacked a werewolf pack.
Their Alpha, Thane’s father, sought out vengeance, but when he saw my mother, he didn’t kill her.
Long story short, our mother ended up cheating on my father.
She fell deeply in love with the werewolf Alpha, but when Thane was born and she saw he was a hybrid, she told Thane’s father their affair was a mistake.
She came running back to my father, begging for forgiveness, and he took her back, but my mother wanted a redo, so she and my father got pregnant with me. ”
“She just left Thane?” I ask, not hiding my disdain after being abandoned myself.
“Yes. She went about her life as if he never existed. But Thane’s father wasn’t going to just let her do that.
He watched her and my father live their happy little life with their normal vampire baby.
You see, Thane’s father was said to have always been a twisted kind of man, but my mother’s betrayal turned him into a different kind of beast. One night, when I was still a baby, my mother and father had been asleep.
” He pauses to swallow, and I brace myself for what he’s going to say next.
“My mother woke in the middle of the night to find my father lying next to her, dead. There was blood everywhere, and his head had been severed from his body. My mother ran to the crib to see if I was okay and found my hands wrapped around my father’s bloody heart as if it were a teddy bear. ”