Chapter 27
Ian
On the Monday of Thanksgiving week, the waiting room at Dr. MacDougal’s office is packed with expectant families, and Julia and I barely snag the last two seats in the corner.
A wulver couple across from us is wrangling twin toddlers while the dam’s belly strains against her maternity sweater.
The dad catches my eye and gives me a look of exhausted solidarity.
You’ll see, his expression says. This is your future.
I can’t wait.
Julia’s leg bounces nervously beside me. She’s been anxious all morning, even though her previous appointments have gone smoothly. I rest my hand on her knee, stilling it.
“You okay?”
“Fine. Just antsy, I guess.” She adjusts her glasses that have slipped down her nose and rubs her stomach fondly. “The babies were doing gymnastics all night.”
I grin, thinking of our litter doing cartwheels in there. “That’s a good sign, isn’t it? Active pups are healthy pups.”
“Easy for you to say. You’re not the one getting kicked in the bladder.”
I grin at her delighted, grumpy tone. Pregnant Julia is my favorite Julia. She’s lost some of that careful politeness she wears like armor, and underneath is this sharp, funny woman who says exactly what she’s thinking. I hope she stays this way after the birth.
“Mr. and Mrs. Lyall?” a nurse calls, and I love that Julia doesn’t correct her.
She just hauls herself out of the chair with a little grunt and follows the nurse to the exam room, where she endures the usual checks.
While she gets weighed and measured and questioned about everything, I try not to stare at the way her belly curves or think about how badly I want to kiss it.
We’re both clear on why that’s a bad idea.
I’ll kiss the pups when they come out, and that’ll have to be enough.
Helena enters just as the nurse is finishing up, her silver-masked face bright with a professional smile. “Hi, you two! How are we feeling?”
“Fat,” Julia says cheerfully. “Tired. Hungry. The usual.”
“All normal, and we doctors like to see normal.” Helena pulls up Julia’s chart on her computer. “Weight gain is right on track. Blood pressure looks great. Any concerns about new symptoms since your last visit?”
For some reason, Julia blushes. “No.”
“Great! Let’s take a look at those active little ones, shall we?”
I take Julia’s hand as Helena prepares the ultrasound equipment and squirts gel on Julia’s belly. She presses the wand to her skin. The screen flickers to life, and there they are.
Three distinct shapes now, curled together like puzzle pieces. They’ve grown so much since the last scan. I can make out the curves of their spines, the roundness of their heads. One of them looks like he has a thumb in his mouth.
“Of course, they’re sleeping now,” Julia laughs.
“Looking beautiful,” Helena murmurs, moving the wand to get different angles. “Pup A is head-down already, which is great. Pup B is transverse, and Pup C is breech, but there’s still time for them to shift around.”
“Is that typical?” I ask, squeezing Julia’s hand.
“Completely. With litters, it’s a bit of a challenge fitting everyone in there, so their positions shift a lot, especially while they’re still relatively small. As they grow, there will be less room for them to twirl like squirrels, we like to say.”
Julia’s eyes are fixed on the screen, her eyes a little shiny. I know that look. It’s the same one she had when she held Conall’s pups for the first time. Pure, unguarded love.
“Can you tell if they’re boys or girls?” she whispers.
Helena adjusts the wand, frowning in concentration. “Let’s see. Pup A is being shy, but Pup B is showing off. That one’s a boy.” She moves again, trying another angle. “Pup C, definite girl.”
A boy and a girl and a mystery. I can already imagine them. “Perfect,” I say, my voice rough.
“They really are.” Helena prints out some images and hands them to Julia, who clutches them to her chest like they’re made of gold.
“Now, before you go, I wanted to mention a few things. We offer birth preparation classes. I know you’re an experienced mom already, Julia, but given that this is an interspecies pregnancy with multiples, I’d strongly recommend attending.
We also have a class on raising a litter that covers feeding schedules, sleep training, and general logistics.
You can sign up through the online portal. ”
“We will,” I say immediately.
Julia nods. “And what about breastfeeding? I nursed my girls, but obviously that was only one baby at a time. I don’t have as many, um…feeding stations as a typical wulver mom.”
Helena chuckles. “Excellent question. I’ll have the front desk give you our packet on feeding multiples as a non-wulver.
It covers positioning, pumping schedules, and supplementation if needed.
I’ll make a note in your chart to have a lactation specialist get you started off on the right foot at the hospital, too.
Now, Julia, I need to speak with you privately for a few minutes.
Ian, if you wouldn’t mind stepping out?”
I hesitate, looking at Julia. She gives me a small nod, so I release her hand and head for the door.
The hallway is quiet except for the distant sounds of the waiting room.
I lean against the wall, pulling out my phone to distract myself from wondering what they’re discussing in there.
Probably just routine stuff. Personal questions about symptoms she might not want to talk about in front of me.
A few minutes later, the door opens and Julia emerges, looking thoughtful but not upset. I straighten up, searching her face for clues.
“Everything okay?”
“Yep. And I asked her for another set of the ultrasounds so we both can have one.” She gives me a set of the slippery print-outs and tucks the others into her purse. “I’m starving. Can we get food?”
“Anything you want.”
“I’m not in the mood to be around people right now,” she admits as we climb into the Jeep. “Is that okay?”
“Of course. Let’s hit a drive-through and eat in the car.”
We get Greek food. I crank up the heater and we sit in the parking lot, fragrant steam fogging the windows as we open the containers spread across the center console. Julia digs into the dolmades with single-minded focus while I work on the lamb skewers.
“So,” I say after a few minutes, because the question is still gnawing at me. “Can I ask what Helena wanted to talk about?”
Julia pauses mid-bite. “Oh. It was a domestic violence screening.”
My hackles rise. “Did she have a reason to suspect?”
She shakes her head. “It’s routine. They want to make sure the pregnant person feels safe in their home. That their partner isn’t controlling or abusive. Of course, I told her I feel completely safe with you.”
“Good. Because you are.” The tension in my shoulders doesn’t ease, though, because she doesn’t live with me. She lives with him. “What about Richard? Is he a safe person?”
Julia shrugs, picking up a pita bread. She rips off a piece and stabs it into the tzatziki. “He’s never around anyway. He’s been in Pittsburgh for most of November. I’ve barely seen him.”
“But when he is around...”
“He’s not violent, if that’s what you’re asking. He’s never hit me. He’s just...” She trails off, searching for the right word. “Cold. Dismissive. But that’s not dangerous.”
No, it’s not. But it’s still not okay. I grip the steering wheel, trying to figure out how to say what I need to say without sounding like I’m attacking her.
“Julia. I need to ask you something, and I need you to really think about it before you answer.”
She glances up, expression wary. “Okay.”
“After the pups are born, if you’re going to be in their lives, that means Richard could potentially have access to them, too. Even indirectly, by influencing your presence.” I force myself to meet her gaze. “Are you comfortable with that?”
“Richard doesn’t want anything to do with them. That was the whole point of the contract. He just wants them kept off his doorstep.”
“I know that’s what he said. But things change. People change. And I need to know that my pups will be safe.”
“They will be,” she snaps, but then her irritation immediately softens.
“I mean, I would never let anyone hurt our babies. Anyway, other than his reputation, Richard only cares about two things: his business and his kids. As long as Molly and Samantha are doing well, he’s satisfied. He won’t bother with ours.”
I stare at the fogged windshield, my gut churning. I’ve been carrying this weight for weeks now, ever since Ben handed me that envelope. I told myself I wouldn’t use it unless I had to. That it wasn’t my place to poison Julia against her husband.
But now she’s planning to be in our pups’ lives after the birth. That changes everything.
“There’s something I need to show you,” I say quietly. “And I’m sorry, I should have done this sooner.”
I reach over our lunch into the back seat and grab the manila envelope that I tossed in there the day that Ben gave it to me. I don’t know why I didn’t take it inside. Maybe I was hoping I’d never need to use it. I hand it to her.
“What is this?”
“You know how my older brothers own a security firm? When Ben found out about our unique situation, he used his work connections and ran some background checks on you and your family. To be clear, I didn’t know he was doing it and he shouldn’t have done it. But this is what he found on Richard.”
Julia’s face goes slightly pale. She doesn’t open the envelope right away, just holds it gingerly, like it might bite her.
“I’m not trying to hurt you, and I’m not trying to turn you against him,” I say quickly. “But you need to know the truth about who he is and what he’s involved in. Because if there’s even a chance that it could affect our pups...”
She opens the envelope. I watch her face as she scans through the material. What begins as confusion gives way to disbelief. The disbelief then hardens into something fearful. She flips through page after page, hands trembling.
“This can’t be right,” she whispers. “I mean, I knew he had another life in Pittsburgh. An apartment. A woman.” Her voice is hollow.
“I knew about the affairs. I’m not stupid.
But this says he’s been laundering money through his company.
That he has connections to organized crime and bribes government officials so he can break the law. Is this true?”
“Ben is good at his job. He wouldn’t put anything in the file that he didn’t verify himself.
I’m sorry,” I say, and I mean it. Whatever I think of Richard, whatever he’s done, he’s still her husband of twenty-plus years.
The father of her children. Finding out the full scope of his bad behavior has to be devastating.
But when she finally looks up at me, she doesn’t look devastated. She looks furious.
“I didn’t know,” she says, her voice shaking. “I swear to god, Ian, I had no idea he was involved with people like this. I thought he was just a selfish asshole, not an actual criminal. If I had known, I never would have dragged you into my mess. I never would have put you at risk. Or our babies.”
“Hey.” I reach for her hand. “This isn’t your fault.”
“Isn’t it? I married him. I stood by him. I made excuses for him for twenty years.” She laughs bitterly. “God, I’m such an idiot.”
I hate hearing her talk about herself like that. “You’re not an idiot. You’re someone who kept her promises. Who tried to make things work for her family.” I squeeze her fingers and let her hand drop. “I’m only showing you this because I want to protect you… all of you.”
She stares at the file for a long moment, then shakes her head and shoves it back into the envelope like she can’t stand to look at it anymore.
“I’m going to tell him when he comes home for Thanksgiving.”
“Tell him what?” I can hardly process what she’s saying.
“That I want a divorce. I was going to wait until the babies were born to even think about it, but I need to do it now. It’s been hard enough coping with his coldness now that I know what it’s like to be...” She trails off, searching for the right word. “Cared for.”
Loved. Loved is what she was going to say. What she’s scared to acknowledge.
“I’ll get your room ready,” I say instantly. “My brothers and I can have you moved out in a day.”
She gives a watery little laugh. “I’m not telling you this because I want you to rescue me, Ian. It’s not fair of me to expect you to solve my problems.”
“Fuck fairness.” I lean over the console to bury my snout in her hair, sucking in deep breaths of her scent. “It solves my problems, too. You know I want you with me.”
She draws back a little so I have to let her go.
“If it’s okay with you, I’m going to stay with Heidi and Nicole, at least at first. I think I need a little time to sort myself out.
Figure out what I want and not just what someone else wants.
” She sounds tentative. Maybe even fearful.
I really don’t like that she’s scared of my reaction.
“Whatever you need, I’ll be there.”
A smile tugs at the corner of her mouth. “Why did I know that you were going to say that?”
I pick up her hand, bringing it to my mouth so I can kiss her knuckles before I answer her rhetorical question. “Because you know my heart.”
She blushes, my sweet little peach. “I’m starting to.”
“You can learn more about it if you let me take you out to dinner after work tonight.” I’m begging. I don’t even care. I just want to be near her.
We’re so close to being together now, something I’ve barely hoped for. Barely dreamed of. But she’s said it out loud: she’s going to divorce her husband. That means there will be room in her life for more than just the pups. There will be room for me, too.
“I need some time to think,” she says, shooting me down with her sweet, hesitant voice. My heart, which has been floating higher and higher over the course of our conversation, sinks a little. “I have to figure out my approach.”
It’s still very possible that she won’t leave her husband. Maybe she’ll lose courage, or maybe he’ll blow up if she pushes too hard, too fast. Things are still delicate, and I need to let her set the pace.
“I understand,” I say, nodding. “It’s okay. Take all the time you need. We’ve got the rest of our lives.”