Chapter 23
Chapter Twenty-Three
Maybe I should have been pleased that he met two of my three demands, but I was still furious about my journal.
Could I work on his map without it? Yes.
Could I decipher it? Also, yes. But I still wanted my godsdamned life’s work safely in my own hands.
What was it about my journal that had him so intrigued?
Did he think I had detailed plans for a mutiny scribbled in the margins?
I sighed and picked my fork back up to eat more slowly this time, mindful of my shredded but still intact dignity.
“Fine. If we’re going to be spending time together, we might as well be cordial. Tell me, Captain Draven,” I drawled, calling him by title rather than name just as he had me. “What do you do for fun?”
“The usual,” he answered. “Decapitate innocent men, feed them to the depths, and then enjoy a warm woman and meal.”
“Jolly,” I deadpanned. “You’ll make some lady very lucky one day.”
It slipped out before I could stop it. I shouldn’t care about the women in his life. He smiled, obviously taking note of my error.
“What about you, Miss Godwin? What occupies your time other than the stars?”
“I don’t have any other past times. I’m a scholar.”
Silas picked up a mango tart and took a sizable bite, considering me as he chewed. I mimicked the gesture, but with a pineapple tart instead.
“Do you always have to do the opposite of me?” he asked around a mouthful of food. “Or are you just naturally contrary?”
“I don’t like mangoes,” I said stupidly, taken aback. I hadn’t meant to do the opposite of him… this time.
“Mmm,” he hummed before lifting the goblet of tropical wine to his lips and taking a sip. “Why do the stars call to you?”
For the second time in a span of seconds, he’d caught me off guard.
Why did they call to me?
I thought about my answer, finding that I wanted to give a genuine one rather than something that danced around the topic.
I pointed to the orb that burned brighter than any other in its realm.
“Fomalhaut is the brightest star in Piscis Austrinus. She stands lonely in the southern autumn sky, surrounded by those who wish to outshine her but don’t possess the magnitude to do so.
” I paused and swallowed. “I always found her to be comforting.”
“How so?”
“Because no matter how empty the space around her, or how many want to stifle her fire, she stands in solitude, refusing to fade away.” I dropped my gaze from the stars and found him watching me.
His eyes held a knowing glint. “Stubborn, then,” he murmured, a low rumble in his chest. The wind whipped strands of hair across my face, the small beads of glass clinking against one another, and I didn't bother to push them back.
“Perhaps,” I allowed, a faint smile touching my lips as I tried to keep the despair from showing on my face.
So lonely. No one understands her.
“And because,” I whispered, “they are a witness to all that I am. My tears, my victories and losses, and my very existence. They are something I can love whole-heartedly and not be terrified to lose. The stars, unlike people, do not lie, and they do not leave. You may lose the shore, the ship, even yourself, but those stars will always be waiting.”
“You sound like you’ve been let down before, Beastie.”
The pet name drew my attention away from the night sky, and to the man staring at me with blazing intensity. His soft tone made me swallow back the lump forming in my throat.
“I was an orphan,” I admitted. “I had no caretakers who cared to keep me safe and, in a world run by powerful men, no life that I can call my own. I’m naught but a pawn in everyone else’s game. Including yours.”
“It seems a tragedy,” he whispered.
“It is. But I’m removing myself from the game board. Once I find the Stella Mortis they will have to take me seriously and admit me to the universities in my own right rather than having me study off to the side and stealing my findings for their own.”
“Once we find the Stella Mortis,” he corrected.
Of everything I’d said, that’s what he latched on to?
“Indeed,” I agreed and took another bite. “So, this map of yours. It doesn’t change unless you take a man’s life, is that correct?”
He harrumphed an assent.
I thinned my lips. “Does that mean that if I can’t figure out where it’s taking us with what we have now, you would kill someone else to unlock another clue?”
“Without hesitation.”
“That wasn’t the answer I was seeking.”
“It’s honest.”
Silas took another sip of wine, and it tinted his lips a darker shade of purple until he licked them clean.
He’d stopped eating, choosing to watch me pick at the food on my plate as I contemplated this dinner.
Was it a disaster? Or was it going well?
I couldn’t tell. On one hand, we’d only half heartedly argued, and he had followed through with that doctor.
I was feeling better already. Not anywhere close to par, but father away from death.
Should I thank him for that? Likely not since he was the reason I was in the situation. On the other hand—
A chair scraped across the deck. The burly pirate suddenly stood and stalked around the table. He approached me slowly, as if I were a skittish rabbit. The way my nerves crawled over my skin, I could be.
He held out his hand and I took it tentatively, his skin warm and calloused against my own. Silas led me to the edge of the ship and dropped my hand as he leaned against the side. Heat simmered low in my belly. I had no way of knowing his next move, which sent a thrill through my veins.
He gently lifted one of the braids I’d woven the sea glass through. “Where did you get these?”
“I, uh, stole a coin purse from your desk and bought them when we docked.” The honesty surprised even me.
What the fuck, Corynne?
“Do you mean to tell me that you berate me for being a filthy, thieving pirate, yet you turn around and steal a purse that was locked away with my personal belongings?”
“Well, is it really stealing when you’re taking something that was already stolen?”
“Who said I stole it?” Silas twisted the glass between his fingertips. It took every ounce of my willpower to focus on the conversation rather than his touch.
“You’re going to have a hard time convincing me you worked for it.”
“I worked for it like any man.” His crooked smile told me all I needed to know about how Silas Draven had come across such coin. A retort bubbled up, but it never made it past my lips, because his next words stole the breath from my lungs. “I like them,” he whispered.
“You…you like them.” It wasn’t a question so much as my disbelief given a voice.
“I do. They’re quite stunning.”
“You like them in general, or…” The next part didn’t come easily, but I wanted to know. Needed to know. “Or you like them on me?”
His fingers stilled. He dropped the lock he’d been playing with and clasped his hands in front of him. “That is a mystery that will have to remain unsolved, Beastie.”
“If there’s one thing you should know by now, it’s that no mystery is unsolvable to me. I’m quite adamant about uncovering the unknown.” Even when the unknown was what was buried deep inside this ghost story of a man.
He sighed and turned his gaze to the stars. Under his breath, so low I almost missed it, he whispered, “That’s what I’m afraid of.”