Chapter 52
I moved before any of them could stop me. I didn’t want to hear their arguments or far-fetched plans to find a way around the mountain that stood in our way. I just needed out.
I bolted for the door and down the hall. My name echoed behind me, but I didn’t stop. I ran for the stairs, heading to my bedroom, but pulled up short. This was the first place they’d come looking.
Footsteps sounded on the stairs, and I knew I was out of time. I dashed down the hallway, turning onto a corridor I’d never been down. There was a back staircase, but next to it was a skinny door. I hauled it open without thinking, hoping the guys would assume I’d gone for the stairs.
Closing it softly behind me, I blinked, trying to get my eyes to adjust to the light. A narrow, worn wooden staircase stood in front of me. The scents of must and dust filled my nose. I took the stairs slowly, careful not to make a sound.
When I reached the top, moonlight streamed in through various windows, illuminating the space. The attic was full of forgotten things, the perfect place for me. There were wooden chests and random furniture pieces lying around.
I crossed to a bed under a window that was covered in a sheet. Tugging the cover off, I climbed onto the mattress and hugged my knees to my chest. Pressure pulsed behind my eyes as I stared out the window at the black sea.
My mind was on overload. Too much information in too little time. But it wasn’t the existence of shifters or casters or demons that was getting to me. It was that I belonged somewhere, and that had been stolen from me. The knowledge that I would likely never fit anywhere.
That was when the first tear fell. I let them come, silent daggers streaking down my skin.
I let everything free. I cried for everything I’d lost and everything that would be ripped away from me in the coming days and months and years. And when I was all cried out, I let sleep claim me.
I woke to two sensations. Heat at my back, cocooning me, and a finger ghosting over my cheek as if tracing the tracks my tears had left behind.
My eyelids fluttered, and snapshots of Dash filled my vision.
“There she is.” Dash’s voice was rougher than I’d ever heard it. Full of emotion and pain.
“How’d you find me?” My own voice was raspy, as if someone had taken sandpaper to my vocal cords.
Colt’s nose skimmed along my neck. “I’m a shifter. My sense of scent will lead me to you every time.”
I let loose a curse in my mind. I’d have to remember that little trick.
“You shouldn’t be here.”
“You’re here, so this is exactly where we should be,” Dash said, his fingers still skimming my cheeks.
I shook my head. “It’s only going to make it harder.”
It was already agony, knowing their touches and caresses, their care. Having that ripped away was going to throw acid on the already brutal wound. If I let myself really have them, it would kill me.
Dash brought his forehead to mine. “We’re going to find a way through this. We won’t stop until we do.”
That pressure began to build behind my eyes again. “This world has existed for centuries, right?” I knew that much from my research and seeing the founding families.
“Yes,” he agreed.
“Don’t you think someone would’ve found another way by now if it were out there?”
Colt’s hand slipped under my tank top, his thumb drawing circles on my lower belly. “They weren’t properly motivated. We are.”
“You don’t think there were people who wanted freedom? Who cared for someone outside their bond?” I pressed.
Colt shook his head, his lips brushing against my neck. “Of course, there were. But there are no records of anyone knowing their mate and not being able to bond with her. The fates will reveal a way.”
My throat tightened. “I can’t risk you. I can’t let myself have you just because that’s what I want, knowing that it could mean your death. I’m not that selfish.”
Dash cupped my face, breathing me in. “Darius didn’t tell you the whole story.
Losing your mate kills a part of your soul.
You might be able to go on living but not as a whole person.
We wouldn’t be good leaders because we’d have to harden our hearts to go on living.
We’d lose our empathy and understanding. That is not who I’d want to be. Ever.”
Icy claws of dread dug into my chest. “What about Chloe? Doesn’t she have other supernaturals she was meant to anchor? Ones she might be mated to?”
Colt snorted. “She doesn’t know who they are but deserted them the moment The Assembly offered her a shot at us.”
My stomach clenched. Her poor mates. They didn’t even know they’d been all but abandoned.
Dash brushed his lips against mine. “I am fully me, the best version of myself, when I’m in union with you. I’m not willing to lose that, to lose a chance at a life with you, for the guarantee of power and a long life. I’d rather a day with you than a lifetime without you.”
My nose stung. “Dash…”
Colt’s lips skated along my skin. “He’s right. I can live a lifetime in just a few stolen moments with you.”
Dash’s finger traced along my lower lip. “Without you, I could become a monster. With you, I’m just who I was meant to be.”
My heart hammered against my ribs as my nerve endings came alive under their touch.
“Don’t take yourself away from us, Leighton. Please.”
There was a desperation in Dash’s voice that broke me. I met his blue eyes as he pulled back. “I’m not going anywhere.”