Chapter 16
Chapter Sixteen
Layla
I woke to what must have been deep night.
Outside, the lights that should have blazed were dark. The city had fallen asleep.
I sat in the passenger seat, Kayden's suit jacket draped over me. That expensive tailored Armani, now wrinkled beyond recognition, the collar stained with dark red blood—whether from when he'd beaten Lucas or from his own hands, I couldn't tell.
The car reeked of complicated scents.
Cedar. Jasmine. And that unmistakable, blush-inducing... pheromone.
Reminding me of everything that had just happened.
What the hell did you do in the backseat, Layla?
You bit him, kissed him, begged him...
My face ignited instantly, burning from my ears to my neck.
Diana yawned lazily, finally satisfied after craving our mate for so long. Something full and warm pulsed in my chest, steady and sure. I focused on the sensation, felt it gather from scattered threads into one thin, bright bond.
The bond trembled with my suddenly ragged breathing. I followed it like a timid snail peeking from its shell, exploring the other end—
Kayden. Our bond had restored itself completely.
Kayden sat in the driver's seat, one hand draped over the steering wheel, the other propped against his temple as he stared out the window. He'd changed too—into a black T-shirt from god knows where, simple and clean, but it couldn't hide the clear bite mark on his neck.
I'd done that.
I'd bitten down hard enough to break skin, drawing tiny beads of blood.
Goddess. I wanted to crawl into a hole and die.
The silence in the car hung thick as hardened syrup, suffocating. Neither of us spoke.
I didn't know what to say. He probably didn't either.
Another dramatic life experience, Layla. After telling him off, after swearing you'd never see him again, you star in a literal damsel-in-distress rescue, then you sleep with him, and now you're both sitting in the same car.
This was a hundred times more awkward than forgetting your speech mid-presentation.
I snuck a glance at him. Still watching the window, jaw tight, Adam's apple rolling slowly.
Was he awkward, too? Or regretting it? Regretting sleeping with me again...
I yanked my gaze back to my knees.
Say something. Break the silence.
Say what?
"Nice weather"?
Please. It's nighttime.
"Thanks for the jacket?"
That sounds like morning-after small talk.
Though I guess that's basically what this is...
I mentally kicked myself, fingers twisting the jacket hem unconsciously, creasing the expensive fabric into wrinkled lines.
Then I remembered.
Kai! Kai was still home waiting for me!
I shot upright, embarrassment forgotten, scrambling for my bag. Kayden noticed my movement and smoothly retrieved my bag from the console, handing it to me with practiced ease.
My hands froze mid-motion.
I stiffly glanced at him, quickly looking away as I took the bag. My trembling fingertips accidentally brushed his—
A current shot from the point of contact, racing up my arm straight to my brain. I jerked my hand back. The bag dropped onto my lap.
Those hands just...
Traveled over your body, ignited every inch of your skin, made you tremble and moan in his arms...
My face burned again.
Kayden stiffened too, withdrawing his hand back to the wheel, fingers tapping out a rhythm. Tap, tap, tap.
"Th-thanks." I kept my head down, fumbling for my phone in the bag.
The sound of my own voice startled me. Raspy as hell, like wood scraped with sandpaper.
Because you screamed too loud just now.
Diana reminded me mercilessly. My face couldn't get any redder.
"No problem." Kayden's reply was soft. Then silence again.
I stared at my phone screen, fingers shaking, entering the wrong passcode twice. Finally unlocking it to call the nanny—
Kayden held something else out.
A bottle of water. Cap already twisted off.
"Drink." He said. "Your voice..."
He didn't finish, but the intimate atmosphere said everything.
My fingers trembled again as I took the bottle, sipping slowly. The cold water slid down my throat, easing the burning rasp slightly.
"Kai..." I could finally speak somewhat normally, though still hoarse. "I need to pick him up, the nanny..."
"Anna's with him." Kayden cut me off, voice calm but with a careful, probing edge.
I froze.
"What?"
"While you were asleep, I called Anna." He said, fingers still tapping the wheel, one beat at a time, like releasing tension. "Told her you weren't feeling well, that you were resting at my place, asked her to watch... Kai for the night."
He paused distinctly when saying "Kai." The hesitation was brief, maybe only a fraction of a second.
But I caught it.
He'd wanted to say "our son."
But he'd stopped himself.
"She agreed." Kayden continued. "I also let her know you were safe, that you'd... be back later."
I stared at him. At the profile of his face.
"You didn't have to do that." I heard myself say, my voice carrying an indescribable complexity. "You and I... we..."
"You should know this doesn't mean anything—" I took a deep breath, forcing the words out. "What just happened, it was just... the drug, just impulse, we should treat it as..."
"I'm sorry."
Kayden suddenly interrupted. The words stuck in my throat.
"I'm sorry." He repeated, turning to face me, those silver eyes looking straight into mine. "Layla, for so many things."
My heart started beating irregularly.
"I've done so much wrong. Since seven years ago... no, seventeen years ago." Kayden spoke slowly, as if recalling, unfolding a sealed secret.
"For the ten years you silently loved me, I never noticed. After we confirmed we were fated mates, I shouldn't have chosen to run. And Finn's death," he closed his eyes, voice beginning to shake, "I should have believed you."
Every sentence was a needle stabbing into my heart. Those wounds I thought had scabbed over were being torn open all at once.
"I drove you off that cliff," he opened his eyes, reddening, "made you bear everything alone. Pregnant alone. Gave birth to Kai alone. Alone..." His voice broke. "I'm sorry, Layla."
I didn't know what to think.
This was the first time we'd truly sat together facing the past. No interruptions, no pretenses, no desperate "Ella Ross," just Layla Gray and Kayden Blackwood.
Seven years ago seemed so distant, but some pain gets carved into your bones, awakened with double force in midnight dreams and chance reunions. My eyes started stinging again. The burning spread from my eyes to my nose, to my throat, until I could barely speak.
"Too late." I finally squeezed out those words, voice hoarse and powerless. "Kayden, these words... It's too late."
"They don't mean anything anymore." I blinked rapidly, holding back the tears threatening to spill.
"Don't mean anything?" Kayden laughed bitterly, sighing.
"What about the fact that I love you?" His voice was soft, like he was afraid I wouldn't hear, yet afraid I would. "Does that mean nothing?"
I love you?
"What did you say?" My brain went blank, instinct replacing reason as I asked, my voice so timid it could have been blown away by the wind.
"I love you," Kayden repeated, this time clearer, more certain, like a vow. "I'm absolutely sure."
Tears blurred my vision again. I blinked desperately, trying to see his face clearly, but the more I blinked, the more tears came.
"After Anna said you'd disappeared," Kayden said, not touching me, just looking at me like that, "I lost all ability to think."
"Evan pulled every camera feed, checked every record... but Baltimore's huge. You could have been anywhere." His hand clenched into a fist on his thigh.
"Seven years ago, you vanished into that black water. The rescue team dove again and again, but found nothing..."
His voice grew hoarser, until finally tears slid from the corners of his eyes.
"That helpless feeling... tonight, it tore me apart all over again. I didn't know where to find you."
"All I could do..." I heard Kayden's voice choke, "was call out to my wolf, over and over. Begging it to sense our broken bond. Begging it to remember your scent. Begging it... to lead me to you."
My heart clenched painfully, like it might shatter.
"I've been full of regret, Layla," Kayden said. "These seven years. Every day. Every night."
"But I've never regretted anything as much as tonight..." He drew a deep breath, as if reliving that despair through memory, "enough to trade my life with the devil if it meant you were safe."
"Maybe begging actually worked," Kayden said softly. "I followed the direction my heart pointed, and I really did find you. Bit by bit."
He looked at me with something like pleading, hoping I'd believe him, just this once.
"This is love, Layla. I'm absolutely certain. This is love. Not the Moon Goddess's arrangement. Not instinct. It's me. Kayden Blackwood... Hopelessly in love with you."
I clamped my palm over my mouth, but laughter still leaked through my fingers—complete, hysterical, broken laughter.
I didn't know what I was laughing at. Him? Me? This fucked-up fate? I saw Kayden's panicked expression, but I couldn't stop, laughing until my shoulders shook, tears rolling like broken strings of pearls.
"When I was fifteen, you saved me in the forest." My voice came in fragments, like torn paper.
"That was the first time someone got hurt for me. Later, I made you an herbal medicine, wanted to give it to you... But you walked right past me. Didn't even look."
Kayden opened his mouth like he wanted to say something. I didn't let him.
"Eighteen years old. Pack gathering." I continued, each word like licking a wound. "Sophia Bennett poured wine on me, said hybrids didn't belong. You were standing right there. I saw you frown. I thought you'd say something, at least speak up for me. But you just called her away."
"Twenty years old. I started learning to make bouquets. I picked the best flowers and stood outside your door for half an hour." I looked up at him through tears.
"My palms sweated so much the stems got wet, the petals wilted, and I still couldn't knock."
"Twenty-five." I could barely breathe now. This was what I least wanted to remember. "After that night... you threw me away like dirty laundry."
"At the engagement ceremony, you said the Silver Moon Pack's Luna could never be someone like me."
Everyone stared. Everyone laughed at me.
And you stood there, expressionless, like I was a stranger.
"You publicly rejected me as your mate."
That pain... like my soul being ripped in half.
I was just a stain you desperately needed to erase.
"You watched everyone attack me as a murderer. You believed the evidence..."
Those images hadn't blurred with time. They'd only sharpened.
"You watched me despair. Watched me beg."
"Kayden, the wind on that cliff was so strong." Like I'd suddenly lost all strength, finally unable to vent anymore. "The water below was black. The rocks like fangs. But compared to living in that despair, death was mercy. I thought I was finally free."
The car fell silent as death. Kayden's face went deathly pale, lips pressed tight, fingers gripping his palms until his knuckles turned white then blue.
"Seventeen years. You ignored me, hurt me, and humiliated me. Now you tell me you love me?" My tears had dried, leaving only an eerie calm. "Why do you love me?"
Kayden fell silent. For a long time. So long I thought he wouldn't answer.
"You're strong." His voice was tender, like describing a treasure. "And fragile. You barely had anything from the pack's charity, couldn't even feed yourself..."
I watched him, not understanding what he meant.
"But you still bought candy for the pack pups."
My breathing stopped. How did he know?
"You could identify those complicated herbs. Poison hemlock and water hemlock that others couldn't tell apart—you knew at a glance."
That was because I was ostracized, only given the hardest work, sent to the forest to gather herbs.
"Your roasted meat was the best in the entire pack, even though you never joined the gatherings."
I wasn't allowed to join. I could only help in the kitchen, then take leftovers home.
"And now you're a renowned jewelry designer." Kayden's voice carried admiration, praise, and something hidden... pride?
"You had a harder start than any of us. But Layla..."
I held my breath.
"You're braver than all of us."
I'd never expected him to say that.
I was like a porcupine with raised quills, all aggression. I needed to push him away, drive him off. Only when he witnessed my wretchedness and finally left would that voice inside me be satisfied. See? He left after all.
But if he could stay, if he could really look at me, if he could just hold me... I'd surrender completely.
"But that's not why I love you." Kayden pulled a cloth bag from the backseat, placing it on my lap. Trembling, I opened it. Inside was my diary and that jacket I'd treasured for ten years.
"Love only needs a glance, a moment, a trace of scent. Layla, I wasn't drunk that night."
So he meant—
"It wasn't a mistake. It was the best choice of my life. Having you. Facing my love."
Kayden's hand gently covered mine, warm and dry, his thumb slowly stroking the back of my hand.
"I know all of this is too late, but I have to tell you. Layla Gray, or Ella Ross—even though I was once blinded by meaningless reasons... I love you. That's the only thing I'm certain of."
I just sat there. No movement. No words. Seventeen years. Over six thousand days and nights. From the moment I fell for him, I'd fantasized about hearing these words.
Until time stripped away my innocence, until fine lines appeared at the corners of my eyes.
I was no longer that fifteen-year-old girl full of fantasies, but a mother with a six-year-old son.
I'd loved him too long. This love was like breathing.
I was used to Kayden Blackwood living in my heart, used to him effortlessly stirring waves in my life.
I pulled my diary from the cloth bag, fingertips slowly, carefully tracing the cover. Inside lived a girl from a time already passed.
I couldn't forgive him on behalf of the past Layla.
"How can I believe you?"
I handed the bag with the jacket back to him. Kayden stiffened for several seconds, didn't take it. I calmly placed it in the backseat.
"A few words won't change the despair I endured."
Kayden's face went instantly pale, like all blood had been drained from it.
"Kayden, thank you for saving me. But I'm giving those words back to you. Tonight was a mistake." I slung my bag over my shoulder, pulled the jacket tighter, hand on the door handle.
"Lay—"
A shrill ringtone pierced the quiet night.
I frowned, pulling out my phone. The screen showed Anna.
"Hello?" I answered.
"Ella!" Anna's voice came through panicked and terrified. "Quick! Get to the hospital! Kai's having another bloodline surge!"