Chapter Eight #4
Kaelyn waggled her brows. “Sounds like that’s just what he needs.
Plus, those feelings don’t go away completely.
You’re not working from scratch. You may be building on top of some rubble, and around a burned-out skeleton of a house, but it’s not from scratch.
And you seem super smart. You should know he’s still in love with you too. ”
Her eyes went wide and a cold sweat raced down the back of her legs. “You think so?”
“Totally. The way you talk about all the little things he remembers is a big green flag. Any guy who didn’t really care or was willing to move on wouldn’t make a point of keeping all those Kimberly-related facts in his head.
Shane so loves you.” Kaelyn cringed. “Oh … Shane loves you. This may get complicated.”
Kimberly nodded. “Now you’re catching on.”
“He’s supposed to leave with his pack, right?”
“Yeah.” Her gaze drifted. “I know anything we do, and no matter how far it goes, it won’t matter because he would have to leave.” Her voice unexpectedly broke at that last part.
She knew it was true, that it was an immovable fact, but to hear the words come out of her mouth, she wondered if Kaelyn was right.
Maybe she was in love. The thought of Shane leaving broke her heart, right along that same scar that was made when they were torn apart in Kansas.
The fact that he ghosted her didn’t seem to faze that part of her that still wanted to be with him all these years.
“What am I going to do?” Kimberly whispered.
The question was more to herself, and Kaelyn’s presence became a secondary thought.
“First, you should tell him what happened. It would fill in a lot of gaps. You need to be on the same page. If he loves you, the truth won’t change anything.”
She knew Kaelyn was right, but doubt told her otherwise.
Shane already knew about her lack of dominance but didn’t know it wasn’t just her genetics that was screwed up, but her head was too.
She didn’t want him to think of her as more broken than she was before.
She couldn’t tell him about how she couldn’t shift. Not yet.
Besides, there was no way that Shane could be in love with her.
A night of pizza and one passionate kiss wasn’t enough to rekindle teenage love into something more mature.
They never confessed anything deeper than attraction and pure friendship when they were younger.
There was no way that Shane loved her now.
Even if he had loved her then, he sure didn’t show it.
He had given all the reasons why he didn’t reach out to her during high school and immediately after she left, but that didn’t make up for ten years of pure silence.
It didn’t make up for the total lack of effort to reconnect.
If Shane loved her, even a little, he would have pursued her.
He wouldn’t have stopped until he found her.
Love should have been stronger than any fear he had about what his dad or pack would have thought of him.
Now that Kimberly was back on his radar, sure, Shane acted like he wanted something more than friendship.
That kiss made everything more complicated.
Did that old flame come back to life, or was it just convenient that she suddenly showed back up?
Did running into one another just remind him, Oh, yeah, I like this girl and want to be with her.
I forgot. That felt lame. Felt cheap. And it couldn’t erase the ten years Kimberly spent believing that Shane ditched her because she wasn’t worth chasing.
Yet, despite it all, Kimberly felt the stirrings of feelings for Shane.
Maybe they had never gone away. In the years after their separation, she had come up with every excuse under the sun for his silence.
His father got to his head and convinced him that she was a worthless shifter and unworthy mate.
Maybe he started dating her just to piss off his dad.
Even the worst-case scenario came to mind that Shane had tried to come after her, but his dad used his usual brutal ways to stop him.
Or, in true Romeo and Juliet style, he committed suicide since they couldn’t be together.
The last two reasons were tragically romantic, if a little dramatic.
They would have been better reasons than Shane not wanting her in the end.
And yet, no matter what story she told herself, Kimberly wanted Shane back more than anything.
To admit she still loved him would be a stretch, but she couldn’t deny that there was something on her end keeping her interested, even if it was foolish at this stage in the game.
Regardless of whether Shane loved or didn’t love her, back then or now, Kaelyn was right about something.
Perhaps Kimberly needed this outside perspective to show her it wouldn’t be the end of the world to tell Shane what happened.
Possibly, she could trust him to see her for who she really was, and not what the circumstances turned her into.
She wasn’t a victim. She wasn’t weak. She needed her wolf to believe it, but almost equally so, she wanted Shane to believe it too.