Chapter 25
Twenty-Five
T he next morning, I walked to the nearby stream to rinse off from our nightly activities.
I found a small pool where the water went deep.
A waterfall rolled off some rocks nearby pouring into it.
I stepped into the cold, still water and shivered, but enjoyed how it rinsed the blood and grime away as I crouched deeper into its depths.
Today was day ten. Vaelor had to return to the Spiritu Malignos army today as Throk had ordered.
I needed to convince him to take me with him. And to participate in the second part of the Final Proving—the fight for command within the army. It was the only way to protect my family.
When I turned, I found Vaelor with his shirt off, standing at the pool’s edge, gazing into the water. “I may not be able to look in a mirror again.”
I wish things could have gone differently, I thought to him through our new connection.
He glanced at me, his gaze softening. They went how they went, and I don’t regret my decision. It’s just difficult to see him staring back at me.
I can’t imagine. All the pain, anger, sorrow, and perhaps love for his brother were mixed up inside Vaelor and reflected every time he saw his own face or looked at his body with the black lines. Cracks in a finished veneer. Showing the hurt and anguish that would never fully heal.
“It would almost be preferable if I hadn’t found out he was such a bastard,” Vaelor said aloud. “Then again, if not, I’m unsure if I would have been able to do what I did. That would have meant losing you and losing myself in the process.” He sighed and straightened.
Gods, look what I had done to him. “Vaelor, I wish I hadn’t?—”
“No. Don’t blame yourself, Denara. This is my punishment. To cause the death of both my siblings and all I love. If I can protect you from that, I will a hundred times over.”
“But still, to lose your siblings.”
“Lanzin dug his own grave. But Pixa. I threw her to the wolves. I didn’t mean to.
At first, I believed I could support her, and that got her hopes up,” he admitted, shaking his head.
“And then I realized I was being naive and foolish. I locked Pixa up and demanded she see through her agreement to marry Creedan. And she hated me. She broke out and married the vampire—then the system exacted its retribution. But I didn’t realize how much it would take.
And when the hedge witch arrived with the devastating news that they had perished…
all I saw was how my foolishness in playing to her whims led to her demise. ”
“You didn’t kill her, Vaelor. She took a risk. Others killed her for it, not your desire to be a supportive brother.”
“But I wasn’t a supportive brother.”
“You knew Creedan would turn on her, on all of you. And he did.”
“Then I shouldn’t have encouraged her in the first place.” He groaned, his hands moving through his hair. “I don’t know, Denara. Even now, I don’t know the answer. I might have protected her—her and her vampire lover. If I’d hidden them maybe, maybe they’d all be alive.”
“Do you believe that would have prevented Creedan’s actions?”
“Did Creedan’s actions stem from a curse or from retribution? Is it possible I might have averted it all had I not been cursed?”
“You can’t beat yourself up over this. You loved your sister. I don’t know if there was a right choice.”
Perhaps that was the answer for both of us. I thought I’d failed—I’d thought I’d caused people to leave me, and yet, that wasn’t it. It was easier to blame myself than to admit I had no control at all. That neither of us had any control.
“Ever since, I’ve been trying to save my people by regaining my power in the court, and it turns out all of that was foolishness as well.” He shook his head. “I believed if I played by the rules, made up for what I did for entertaining Pixa’s recklessness, then perhaps I might save someone.”
You have saved someone , I thought to him.
And she was worth it all. He dove into the water and came up dripping. The wetness rolled over his broad chest and slid over his toned abs. It dripped from his horns, off the tips of his majestic wings. My teeth sank into my lip. Damn.
I looked up into his face, Lanzin’s face, but also Vaelor’s face, wanting to melt into his arms. “We need to protect the town that my mother and brother are in and all the other towns in Misophae that are like it. They are worth protecting.”
I wanted to believe I had control over my life because admitting I didn't made me feel helpless.
But accepting that I didn't have total control was strangely freeing. Once failure lost its sting, I was free to act without being paralyzed by the outcome. Yes, we might fail. Yes, we might die. But fighting for the people I cared about was worth the risk every single time.
“Demons attack. Demons destroy,” Vaelor said, his dark red hair appearing black from the water. Streams still ran down his chest from the soaked strands. “But have you seen what happens when a demon tries to protect?”
His proximity proved greatly distracting, and I inhaled unevenly, compelling myself to concentrate. “We broke the curse. Don’t you trust my powers?”
He tenderly brushed my hair behind my ear. “I trust you.”
“And you told me that I’d guide you on your path.”
“You would guide me toward life or death.”
“Raxus has knowledge of the plans your brother tried to establish and will use them to gain favor within the Spiritu Malignos ranks. We are both aware that Spiritu Malignos will not reject the prospect of a land grab. Not to mention Raxus knows where Derand is. My mother is powerful, but I’m sure Spiritu Malignos and Aeria both possess ways of breaking through protective enchantments. ”
Vaelor frowned. “They do.”
“So we must do something.”
“Denara, there are so many obstacles.” He stepped back, cooling the heat between us and leaving me disappointed. But as much as I wanted him to make love to me right there, our conversation was too important to let go.
“First,” he said. “I’d need to be declared as the next in line of command to possess any influence.”
“That’s the second part of the Final Proving, right? The fight for command. You could do it. Fight to the top.” He now had his brother’s powerful body, not my weak human one. With Lanzin’s form under his control, he could make it.
“Even if I did, I’m locked in the chain of command.”
I thought about this. “Now that you’re bodied, if you disobey a command from Throk what happens?”
“I’m still bound to obey all his orders.
If I disobey, my spirit will end in painful agony and this body will simply become an empty corpse.
” He shook his head and sighed. “If Raxus tells the leaders about the idea of splitting Misophae, which he will, and Spiritu Malignos decides to contact Aeria, there’ll be nothing I can do to stop them. ”
I stepped toward him, my chin squaring with determination. “You worry about becoming the leader of the new recruits and leave that part to me.”
He gave out a short laugh of disbelief. “You want me to bring you into a camp where all the demons wish to impose upon you a horrible death?”
“We must be careful, but with my powers, I can do so much more than I ever believed possible.” Succeed or fail, protecting my mother’s town was worth fighting for. I wouldn’t allow the fear of a curse or past failures to hold me back. Not anymore.
A small smile crossed his face. “You certainly are a fierce one. Once you get an idea in your head, you don’t let go.”
“I’ll never give up on those I love.”
And I won’t ever give up on you. He stepped close and pulled me into his arms, brushing a kiss over my lips that made my entire body light up with the sensation of him. “I’ll do whatever you say.”