Chapter 46 Lucien
FORTY-SIX
Lucien
It took the rest of the day and half the night to figure out how to get out of the temple. Partly because it was a fuck ton of stairs, and even werewolf muscles were burning by the time we made it back to solid ground, but more than that, the inside of the temple was one big maze.
When we finally stumbled out into the desert night air to our waiting pack mates, we were all exhausted.
We spent another night in the sanctuary, where it was cooler and there was water, grateful to be aboveground, no matter how beautiful the underground sanctuary had been.
The next morning, we stepped back into the waiting desert sands, and our phones magically began working again by the time we’d hiked for two hours. As soon as we had a signal, I called Kane.
“Speak.”
“Alpha, it’s us. We found the shard.”
“Lucien. Everyone is safe?”
“Yes, we’re all fine. A few bumps and bruises, but those have mostly healed.” I rubbed idly at the knot that had shrunk significantly but still lingered on the back of my head. My healing still wasn’t back to full speed, probably another effect of my damaged bond.
“Excellent. Reed and his party retrieved the goblin piece as well. We’re all on the jet, flying back toward the enclave. Priestess Marciana confirmed it was still clear, and we all agreed that the enclave was the best place to try to reassemble the stone.”
I nodded, glancing around at everyone. “Do you want us to meet you there?”
“Yes. Meet us at the airstrip, and we’ll make a plan of approach. I want to be cautious, just in case Varga’s watchers are still in the area.”
“Will do.”
We disconnected the call, and I filled everyone in on what Kane had shared.
“So, back to Romania. Can’t say I’ll miss the sand,” Dirge said, his sarcasm thick enough to survive a chain saw as he lifted a booted foot and sand rained down from it like a miniature waterfall.
“Me either,” Olivia agreed, though she hadn’t voiced a word of complaint this entire trip. She was tougher than I’d given her credit for early on. She didn’t let fear stop her, and she loved deeply, no matter the cost to herself.
She was a worthy mate. And I was damn lucky to have her.
I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and kissed her on the head. She looked up at me quizzically but didn’t comment.
“All right. Who’s ready to go now?”
I repressed a groan. Flashing sucked, but hiking all day through the desert wasn’t exactly fun either. “Let’s get it over with.”
Shay grinned, sticking out her arm for everyone to hold on.
“Three… two… one.”
The desert warped around us, bleeding out of existence.
The landing in Romania was a little easier than the first time. Olivia was green around the gills but didn’t get sick, at least.
We had the better part of a day to waste, so we spent it quietly at an inn in the little town nearby, keeping our eyes open but not seeing any of Petró’s pack or anyone wearing an ODL uniform.
It was after dark when the others landed, so they joined us at the inn.
We all slept, and just before dawn, it was time to make our way back to the enclave.
The plan we’d established last night was simple.
Gael, Leigh, and Galyna would leave an hour after us and drive right up to the front gates.
They were our cover, since Gael was a prince and Leigh was pregnant.
Kane and Brielle would hide in the back of the SUV, out of sight, until we could race them straight through the front gates.
Meanwhile, the rest of us would take the longer, bumpier back way, splitting off on foot once we were about thirty minutes out, to sound the alarm in case of danger.
I didn’t like that Olivia was going to be out in the woods, possibly in danger, but she’d insisted on sticking with me. I drove our SUV, Olivia in the front passenger seat. By the time we’d made it onto the interstate, the rest of our team was asleep in the back seats, snoring softly.
Olivia was chipper, though, happy to be awake and sipping coffee as the sun made its appearance over the mountains.
“I’ve been meaning to ask you something,” I said softly, not wanting to wake the others.
“Oh yeah? What’s that?” She was still looking out the window, enjoying the view, and it made me second-guess interrupting her happiness with what seemed to be a sore subject, but it had been lurking in the back of my mind ever since she’d mentioned it, and we still had several hours of driving ahead of us.
“What happened with your mom?”
She went still, then slowly set her coffee cup down in the cup holder. “Oh.”
“Yeah, you mentioned something about her, but that wasn’t a good time to discuss it.
And it made me realize that I still don’t know anything about your family or your home pack.
But I’d like to, before we bond. I’d like to know everything about you eventually.
” I smiled over at her, and she returned it, but it didn’t reach her eyes.
As I’d suspected, something was very wrong in Olivia’s past to make her react that way.
“It’s not a happy story, but you’re right, you should know.”
I hated how unhappy she sounded, but I didn’t want to interrupt her. I needed to give her the space to share.
“I’m originally from Arizona. My parents weren’t fated mates.
My mom is an alpha—not the Canyon pack Alpha, but she was the pack’s third—and my father is a nu, like me.
Their pairing was… unusual, by a long stretch.
But he’s a kind man, and he worked for the pack Alpha, so they saw each other often.
From what he told me, one thing led to another, and when she went into heat without a mate, for some reason, she picked him to spend it with.
I was born a few months later, and they tried to make the relationship work for my sake.
But my mother was unhappy. Her wolf wouldn’t accept a weaker male, and she always had one foot out the door. ”
Olivia’s voice grew distant as she told the story, as if she had left me and was back there in Arizona. “I was five when she found her fated mate. Another alpha, from a pack in Oklahoma.”
She paused, and I tried to brace myself for what was coming. Whatever it was, it had clearly hurt her, but I had to listen and keep my feelings about it to myself, no matter how much I wanted to fly to Oklahoma and skin her mother for hurting my hellcat.
“It’s okay. Take your time.”
“Thanks, but there’s not much left to the story, honestly.
She fell madly in love with him and his power.
He took one look at me and wanted nothing to do with a weak shifter pup from another male.
So, she packed her things and left me with my father.
Never looked back, or called, or wrote. It was just me and Dad for a very long time.
He did his best to be mom and dad, but it was hard on him. ”
“I bet. I can’t imagine raising a daughter completely alone. Did your pack mates help?”
She drummed her fingers on the windowsill, then caught herself and dropped her hand back into her lap.
“Here and there. But when my gifts started appearing in my late teens… they wanted me gone. My dad was the only reason I stayed. It might not have been perfect, but he loved me more than anything.”
“Loved?” My heart sank, and I braced myself for the news of his death.
“He still loves me. I shouldn’t have said it that way.
But after he met Tanya… well, I came second.
That’s how it is with fated mates. She wasn’t thrilled he already had a child either, but she tried to hide it for both of our sakes.
But it wasn’t easy. Tanya was my mom’s younger sister.
And every time she looked at me, it reminded her that my father had been with her sister first.”
“Holy shit.” I bit my tongue, not having meant to let the expletive slip out. “Sorry, go on.”
“It’s okay. It’s… shocking. The pack had a field day with it when the news first got out.
Anyway, I was seventeen when they bonded, and as soon as I turned eighteen, I started studying herbalism.
I knew that it was a useful skill that could get me into almost any pack, and the second I finished my course, I started looking for new packs.
Johnson City needed a healer after Brielle left, and…
well, you know what happened, after that. ” She shrugged like it was nothing.
But it wasn’t nothing. It was a lifetime of pain and rejection from the people who were supposed to love you the most.
Suddenly, the fact that she was even still willing to be in the same vehicle as me after the way I’d treated her at first felt like a real, Goddess-blessed miracle.
“Did you ever talk to your father about how you felt?”
She shook her head, looking away again. “I couldn’t bear to bring him more pain after how happy she made him. It was just… better for everyone, this way.”
Selfless to a fault. It made me even more determined to protect her from those she couldn’t protect herself from.
“I’m sorry you went through all of that.
But I can promise you one thing. I’m never going to send you away.
You’re mine. I meant it before when I said that once an alpha latches on to something he wants, he never lets go.
And I want you, Olivia. With every fiber of my being.
I choose you.” I twined our fingers together on the console, lifting her knuckles to my lips and pressing a tender kiss there.
Her lower lip trembled, and I was tempted to pull the damn SUV over and drag her into my lap.
“But do you love me?”
The question floored me. Did I love her?
As crazy as it sounded, I was scared to even think yes, let alone say it. The last person I’d let myself love unequivocally had been brutally murdered and taken from me. Loving Olivia felt more terrifying than anything else I’d ever done in my life.
“It’s okay. You don’t have to say it,” she whispered, turning her face away. Her sorrow filled the car, her scent turning dark and deep, a veritable ocean of pain.
And still, I said nothing.
It was like I couldn’t get the words out, even as her silent tears carved the heart right out of my chest. I had to say something, do something, but how?
Admitting I loved her was like a giant, blinking sign to the universe to come and steal her out of my life.
“Olivia, I care about you more than anyone else in my life. It’s not that I don’t. You know I do.”
“Please, don’t. I don’t want you to try to fix it, okay? It’s all still new. I get that. I’m a grown-ass woman. I can handle the truth.” She scrubbed at her cheeks, trying to erase the evidence of her pain, but even when her skin was once more dry and her eyes no longer glassy, I knew.
I knew I’d hurt her.
Knew it wasn’t good enough. But if I tried to argue now, she wouldn’t believe me.
Fucking hell.
We hit the dirt road a few minutes later, and our back seat passengers woke. They were quiet, probably sensing the tension in the front seat, and too polite to call us on it.
I wished one of them would call me on it. Help me work my way through the messed-up shit rattling around in my brain. Or maybe I just needed another big, angry alpha to spar with until I was so exhausted, I couldn’t stand. So the walls could finally come down.
Gael was always down for a good session of torture by sparring ring, but unfortunately, he was a bit occupied at the moment.
And I had to get my head in the game. I tried to clear my thoughts, but by the time we reached the designated stopping point, I was no better off. It was an endless circle in my head of can’t hurt her, have to keep her safe. And loving her wasn’t safe.
We all piled out of the SUV, quiet as we hit the ground, already scenting the air and looking for enemies.
The breeze was untainted by strangers’ scents, but that didn’t mean all was clear just yet. We fanned out in pairs, and Olivia and I went straight up the mountain toward the enclave. It was the most direct path, so if shit hit the fan, I could get her to safety more quickly.
Not that she wanted to be alone with me. And because we were scouting, we had to stay silent. Though it was probably for the best; I didn’t have anything intelligent to say right now. I needed to explain why I’d hesitated. I knew that. But was giving her time to process considerate or cowardly?
The longer we walked, the more I leaned toward cowardly.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, not willing to risk more than that. She cut her eyes the other direction, clearly not even willing to look at me at the moment.
Frustration filled me. “Hellcat—”
She waved her hand down low, cutting me off, and my wolf went on high alert as she focused off into the distance, uphill from where we stood and a little to the right.
Movement. We’re not alone.