Chapter 27
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CLAIRE
Icouldn’t stop crying. Heavy sobs shook my shoulders and tears poured down my cheeks.
My desire to know what it meant to be close to a man had kept me watching Tansy and Devlinn, but somewhere along the way, it became less about my curiosity and more about disbelief.
How? How could a witch blessed with the powers of Diana forsake her people and give herself to a Witch of the Darkness? Willingly and happily. Sighing and gasping with pleasure as he moved inside her.
I was a ruin.
I had no magick.
I was an embarrassment.
But Tansy wasn’t. She had white hair, which meant she had power. If Tansy could be with him without remorse, it made me question everything I knew about the world.
I sank onto the ground, back pressed against the cold glass just to feel something real. Wiping my tears, I wondered if Tansy’s family didn’t have cemeteries filled with the bones of those who died by dark magick? If maybe, they weren’t at war with the darkness like we were.
My thoughts bounced around, flitting between the stories I heard from my family and what I saw at Shreesa’s Inn.
Bastien insisted that they practiced their craft within the bounds of the law, and I’d seen no reason to doubt that.
My back was slick with condensation from the glass and numb with chill, but it wasn’t the cold that made me shiver. No. It was my next question.
What if—I’d been lied to?
Sickness rose in my throat, and I swallowed hard, forcing the sour taste back down. No. No, that couldn’t be true. It couldn’t.
Light flashed across the gilded surface of a floor-length mirror. I forced myself to crawl toward it, unwilling to trust my unsteady legs, just to see the lace choker Mama had fastened around my neck.
Sitting up on my knees, I pulled back my long silver-lilac hair and tilted my head to inspect it—something I hadn’t done since we left the inn.
The scabs beneath the lace were almost healed, but I’d never forget the sickening pain of the barbs as they pierced my skin.
Nor the way the vampire had tried to save me by cutting it off.
His first instinct had been to protect me.
Sniffling, I let my hair fall back around my shoulders and stared at my reflection in the mirror.
I didn’t recognize the girl staring back at me. Dressed in the black and gold of House Allard, sitting in a room that catered to my every need, my femininity awakened by the touch of a vampire.
Who was I? Really? Fresh tears rolled down my cheeks.
The only thing I’d ever known about myself was that I was a witch devoid of magick. I was cursed with hair the color of pale purple orchids, as if to show everyone how different I was—how alone I was.
I knew I wasn’t the eldest daughter Mama had hoped for, not by a long shot, but she wouldn’t have asked me to take on this burden, to make a vow to discover the location of the demonic relics if the circumstances weren’t dire.
I touched the black lace as a question rose to my mind. My lip quivering.
Would she?
I closed my eyes and a memory of the ceremony surfaced.
Of the vow she made me say. Of the way the magick burned on my lips.
At the way the choker sealed itself around my throat.
The way she looked into my eyes and told me that I wouldn’t be able to escape my fate.
That if I tried to take it off, it would kill me.
That if I tried to seek help, or breathed a word of who I really was or who sent me, it would bleed me dry.
It was either fulfill my mission or die.
I opened my eyes, looking at myself, really looking. Where Bastien saw fire, Mama saw a worthless girl. Useless. Could she have sent me on this mission just to rid herself of me?
My breath caught on something painful and sharp, and tears blurred my vision all over again. Heavy sobs flooding out of me until I doubled over, on hands and knees, willing the sick feeling to leave my body.
I was her blood, her daughter. She wanted to see me rise despite my lack of magick.
She wanted to push me to be stronger, better, than I’d been.
And I was doing just that, wasn’t I? Proving at every turn that I could do this.
I wiped my cheeks and forced myself to take a deep breath.
So what if I met a handful of witches along the way who were different?
I couldn’t doubt my loyalty to my family.
If I did my job, Sera could be the first witch who didn’t need to worry about dark magick. That’s the goal I needed to hold in my heart. I couldn’t fall to pieces. I had to act.
There was a knock at the door, and I startled, hoping it wasn’t the vampire.
I didn’t want him to see me like this. Pushing to my feet, I made for the vanity and powdered my nose.
Then, rolling my shoulders back, I strode across the room to the door.
I found an older woman with kind eyes staring back at me. “Can I help you?”
She let out a titter of laughter. “No, my dear. I’m here to help you.” She curtsied, then regarded my puffy eyes with a sympathetic smile. “I know you’re a long way from home, Miss. But hopefully you won’t be sad for long. My name is Lena, and I’m here to bring a bit of cheer your way.”
She turned, revealing a host of people lined up behind her. Two were carrying a long table, others silver trays laden with food. Sweet and savory scents drifted into the room, making my stomach twist with hunger.
Lena slipped inside, fluttering into the room and directing everyone where to place the table and how to arrange the dishes.
I followed after her with slow steps, not knowing what to do as two men with musical instruments hurried past me.
Those who weren’t carrying trays were wearing robes.
Black silk robes. Just like they’d done this morning.
“What’s going on?” I muttered more to myself than anyone in particular.
“We’re having a party!” replied a male voice. Devlinn.
He and Tansy appeared at my side. No longer wearing robes, but beautifully tailored clothes. A dress for her made of gold silk that offset her deep brown skin and white hair, and a smart pair of black trousers and a gold tunic for him that fit his long, muscled frame.
Tansy linked her arm with mine. “His Grace put together a party in your honor! He even tripled our salary!” She squealed with delight then offered me a wicked smile. “You must be quite special to him.”
My mouth fell open. “Really?”
She nodded. “His Grace is most kind, but this is truly extravagant!”
Kind wasn’t the word I would use to describe him, but I was surprised at this turn of events.
Tansy fitted her hand under my jaw and urged me to close my mouth, then rubbed a soothing hand down my back. “Miss Claire, you’re a sanguine partner. You’ve been chosen to be the life source of one of the most powerful vampires in this land. Step into your power.”
Step into my power. The words drifted into my head and settled there.
Musicians began to play. The silver trays were arranged in a beautiful display on a long table.
People filled the room. I might not recognize myself anymore, but I wanted to step into my power.
To be the woman I wanted to be. Confident and poised.
Not someone who swooned at the mention of blood or questioned every move she made. But how did I do that?
Tansy playfully bumped her hip against mine, and I met her gaze, which was gentle and warm. “Come, let me introduce you to my friends.”
By friends, she meant the men and women wearing black robes. Any of which would willingly make love to me the way Devlinn had made love to her.
Everyone’s attention was on me, just as it had been the night of the Sanguination Ball when Bastien had led me onstage and spun me into a dip so low my hair fanned out across the wood floor.
Something inside my stomach tightened, but I rolled my shoulder back and told myself I could do this.
For the next hour, Tansy and Devlinn led me around the room, stopping to chat with each person wearing a black robe.
Some were flirts. Some made my cheeks burn with nervous heat. Some were a little too self-involved for my taste. But they all seemed to have two things in common: great respect for the Duke and a passion for their job as a consort.
I wasn’t sure if any of them would be any help. Except one.
“What do you know about him?” I pointed to the only man they hadn’t introduced me to. The one with the charming smile who’d been sitting alone by the fire. His skin was nearly as dark as Tansy’s, and his eyes were the warm reddish brown of tea. His soft black hair cropped short at the sides.
“He arrived this morning, with His Grace’s party,” Devlinn said. “I thought you’d know him.”
I shook my head. “No. I don’t.”
“Personally, I can’t believe Lena allowed him to come with those scratches on his arm,” Tansy added.
“Scratches?”
“On his left forearm. Deep ones. I thought he needed rest, but he was very insistent on coming.”
I was kept out of many conversations at Prideaux Hill, and as a result, I’d become very good at reading body language and ghosting around the outskirts of whispered conversations. I knew this man was one I wanted to speak more with.
Step into your power.
Excusing myself, I snatched two bite-sized tarts from a silver tray and made my way over to where he sat. I offered him a tart and a smile. He grinned back at me then leaned in, taking the sweet from my fingers with his lips. I had to hide my surprise.
“You honor me with your presence, Mademoiselle.” He lifted my hand to his lips and placed a kiss there. I knew I was blushing, but I pretended like I wasn’t. The woman I wanted to be had her hand kissed all the time and didn’t bat an eye.
“Please, call me Claire,” I instructed him. “Would you care to dance?”
I didn’t really want to dance, I just wanted an excuse to talk closely.
“Again, you honor me.” He offered me his hand, and I allowed him to lead me out to the dance floor. We swayed in time to the music. I had no idea what I was doing. It was my first dance. But I tried not to let it show. Even when I accidentally stepped on his foot.
He laughed it off, and so did I, but as I gazed into his eyes, I saw a hollowness. “I don’t remember seeing you on the journey north.”
“That’s because I joined late.” I waited for him to clarify. He glanced toward the windows, at the mountains, then back to me. “His Grace offered me a place at his court. After hearing my story.”
He twirled me in a circle, and when I was back in his arms, I asked, “What story?”
His smile shrank and he pulled me in close. So close that my body was flush against his and I could feel his breath against my skin.
“One that isn’t fit for parties.” He paused, then said, “Besides, I think the better story is how His Grace asked for volunteers to dye their hair red.” He leveled a look at me, along with a charming grin. “I know I’m no Dark Witch like Devlinn, but I hope you’ll consider me just the same.”
My feet missed a step. Dye their hair?
Bastien hadn’t paraded nine Dark Witches in front of me—only one.
He just wanted me to think they all were.
Why? Why was he intent on treating me this way?
It was almost like he didn’t want anyone else to touch me.
Like… he wanted me to himself. But if that was the case, why not just say it?
Because of the laws? He didn’t seem the kind to follow rules.
Still, he’d told me he didn’t want me, and I certainly didn’t want him. And yet, I couldn’t stop my thoughts from drifting to him, again and again.
During those quiet nights together in the tent, when we’d talked late into the night before he lay me over a pile of furs and sank his teeth into my thigh, licking and tasting my skin like I was the only thing in the world that could satisfy him.
“I’m sorry if I upset you,” Alec whispered.
“There is nothing to apologize for,” I reassured him. “I just was thinking about… something else.”
Alec spun me in another circle, but this time, when we came back together, he wasn’t being the flirt he’d been before. “They told you about my scratches. Didn’t they?”
I stilled. “Tansy mentioned you’d been hurt.”
Slowly, he pulled up his sleeve, revealing a set of angry red scratch marks that had been covered in thin linen bandages. My hand shot to my mouth. “What happened?”
He held my gaze, then said, “I was attacked during the last full moon… by a werewolf.” Disbelief cinched my brows together. A werewolf? “I know it’s a mad story, but I’m not crazy. I know what I saw. I know how I got these scratches.”
“Of course. The good news is that you’re safe now.” I knew without a doubt that Alec was my third. I needed more time with him. Alone. To hear his story. If not to spy on Bastien, then to learn what he knew. Mama would want to know. “I want you as one of my consorts. That is, if you’ll accept.”
“It would be my honor,” he said.
His fingers slid up my spine until they cradled the back of my head, thumb brushing the base of my skull.
His other hand cupped my cheek, thumb ghosting over my lower lip.
And still, maddeningly, Bastien’s face flashed through my mind.
His lips at my throat, his voice in my head.
I drew in a stuttering breath, which made him smile. But it wasn’t for him.
“Thank you for being so kind when others would shun me. I promise to repay each kindness in turn as one of your chosen.”
His comment warmed my cheeks. He was very handsome, that was hard to deny, but I knew this was his job, and he had to say things like that.
I’d never been kissed before, even though the heavy sense that Bastien’s lips had been on mine once before lingered with me, but I had a tingling suspicion that Alec was about to kiss me.
He tilted his head. His lips angling closer. So close. Did I want him to kiss me? A little voice said no. Because my body wanted someone else. Another said yes. Because it would prove Bastien didn’t own me.
The sound of a door slamming sent my heart into a wild flutter.