Chapter 34
Explorer
CLAIRE
Arm in arm, Tansy led me around Chateau Rose, showing me the grander parts of the castle while explaining what she knew about each room and introducing me to members of the household staff. I soaked in every detail, trying to learn all I could about this place.
“Do you like living here?” I asked her.
“The weather is shit, but you get used to it.”
“But do you like it? Are you happy?”
“Truthfully?” She gave me an affectionate look. “As happy as I’ve ever been. Mostly because of the people. His Grace demands acceptance and respect of all who come here. They’re values I’ve come to cherish.”
Acceptance and respect.
I swallowed hard. Acceptance wasn’t a value I was raised with. In fact, I’d been taught the opposite. “You know,” she said, setting her hand on mine, “I think it must be one of the reasons why His Grace likes you so much.”
“Oh, I don’t know that he likes me—”
“He is very protective of you. I think it’s because you’re not just here for the money. You’re running from something too. Aren’t you?”
I stilled, my breath catching in my throat; the lies I was trained to recite about the convent refused to come.
Instead, the night Mama sealed my life to the choker and my mission came screaming back.
She’d packed me and Sera into a coach and sent us off to the capital like I was nothing more than a lamb to be sacrificed.
It was only by chance that I was still alive. Chance… and my mate bond with Bastien.
“I’m sorry,” Tansy said. “I didn’t mean to assume.”
I shook my head. “No, don’t be sorry.”
What I couldn’t say was that I couldn’t run away. I tried to put on a reassuring smile as we continued the tour, but the knot in my throat refused to loosen. I needed to know the truth.
Tansy squeezed my hand. “I think it’s time for my little surprise.”
I eyed her suspiciously. “I don’t really like surprises,” I admitted, not quite sure what she had planned.
“Well, if it will put your mind at ease, I’m taking you to the ballroom so we can dance like real ladies.”
I stopped walking, my eyes widening. “Oh, I don’t think that’s a very good idea. I don’t know how to dance.”
“Neither do I!” she said, tugging on my arm to restart my feet. “But after a few sips of wine, it doesn’t matter what you know and don’t know. Besides, Devlinn and Alec are waiting for us, and I told them to bring lunch.”
I let her lead me to the ballroom even though nerves twisted inside my stomach.
Wine. Dancing. A huge room all to ourselves.
Alec. The combination would surely draw Bastien, who seemed unable to spend time with me unless it was to intervene on behalf of my virtue.
Well, if he showed up just to lecture me, I resolved to ignore him or send him away when he inevitably appeared.
He could accept and respect that.
After what felt like a mile of walking, we arrived at a set of massive double doors stained black and inlaid with gold roses.
“Welcome to the ballroom,” Tansy said, throwing open the doors and revealing an awe-inspiring expanse of a room.
The walls were black. The floors were maple. The chandeliers were crystal. The windows shaped like arches that stretched all the way to the ceiling. A smile pressed itself onto my lips as I marveled at it all. I didn’t know how to dance, but this room made me feel like anything was possible.
I spied Alec and Devlinn standing beside a small table in the corner of the room, laden with candles and desserts.
Neither of them wore shirts beneath their gold-and-white–trimmed jackets, exposing well-honed musculature.
I accepted the wine glass Alec offered me, and we all rang the crystal together in a toast, silently sipping the smooth vintage.
One glass. I could have one glass and keep my head.
Once I drank my fill, and I was feeling less self-conscious, I let Alec lead me out to the dance floor while Devlinn put on a record that began playing a slow waltz. I laughed harder than I had in years as he tried to teach me the steps. However, I mostly stepped on his feet
“You’re too stiff!” Tansy shouted, prancing over to me and taking my hips in her hands, working them back and forth as I giggled.
“There’s no such thing as being too stiff,” Devlinn remarked, which caused everyone to explode with laughter.
I quit dance lessons not long after, drawn to the table by my growling stomach. I knew they had been trained in the art of lovemaking, but I enjoyed just spending time with them. Even Devlinn. I might not know about his wicked tongue, but he was funny.
I knew my consorts were paid handsomely to spend time with me.
For them, this was employment. But all the same, as I sat with this impossible little quartet, I wondered why there was fighting between Light and Dark.
If we could all get along, enjoying ourselves, sipping chilled herbal tea with lemon and honey and snack-sized sandwiches, why couldn’t everyone else?
What made us special?
“What brought you all here?” I asked, taking another sip of tea to help dilute the glass of wine.
The energy around the table shifted as I watched their expressions change, and a pit of guilt opened in my stomach. Devlinn and Tansy glanced at each other while Alec focused on his glass.
“You’ve already heard my story,” he said. “I tried to help a girl who was being attacked by strangers, only to earn this scratch when she turned into a wolf.” He took a slow drink. “I’d still be working at the inn if the Duke’s scout hadn’t found me and insisted I accompany him back to Roselyn.”
The Duke’s scout? I hadn’t heard that part of the tale. “What do you mean, his scout?”
He shrugged. “I think he must’ve been following someone who was staying at the Veraleese Inn, but he found my story worth bringing to His Grace. So we left Nightfall and now I’m here.”
I bit my lip, wondering if the person the scout had been following was Sera. I wouldn’t put it past Natalia to give the order. Or Bastien for that matter. Either way, his story raised more questions.
“You said she was a Witch of the Light. The girl who scratched you,” Tansy said.
Alec nodded. “That’s right. White hair and all. I saw her transform into a wolf right in front of me. It looked painful, the way the claws shot out of her hands, and when I asked if she needed any help, she scratched me and ran.”
Tansy shook her head. “My mother prayed all the time for such gifts. I wonder if it was a girl from my coven.”
My breath was caged in my throat. I wanted to ask her for more details, but I found I couldn’t speak. Had he really seen a werewolf?
“It sounds like it’s only getting worse out there. I’m glad we left when we did,” Devlinn said.
Silence passed between us. I couldn’t stop myself from leaning in and asking, “What do you mean?”
Devlinn rumpled his red hair, then reclined back in his seat, taking Tansy’s hand and setting it on his thigh, their fingers twisted together.
“All I’ll say is that magick ruined our lives.” My brows cinched in confusion. Magick was a gift. “Neither of us charge our powers anymore. At this point, we’re as magickal as you and him.”
My mouth fell open. Witches, regardless of where they drew their power, had to charge their magick. Witches of the Light performed sacred rituals when the moon was full. Witches of the Darkness had their own rituals with demonic relics.
But… I couldn’t imagine why they’d choose to be… normal. I’d give anything to have their power. I waited for him to say more, but that seemed all he was willing to offer.
“I heard a rumor that His Grace keeps a mermaid locked below the castle,” Alec said abruptly. With a charming grin, he added, “Is that true?”
Tansy snorted out a laugh. “Oh yes. She tends to the dragon, who heats the hot springs with his fiery breath.”
Laughs went around the table, the mood lifting, but I couldn’t work free the knot of tension I was still carrying.
“There’s probably not a mermaid or a dragon,” Alec admitted, “but what about the greenhouses? Are those magick? I mean, how can they grow things in the winter?”
“It’s not magick. It’s science,” Devlinn answered. “The sun warms the glass, and the heat gets trapped inside.”
“Be nice, my love. Science is magick by another name,” Tansy said, reciting one of Mama’s favorite phrases.
“My mother says the same thing,” I admitted. My stomach dropped at the slip. “Said the same thing. Before she died. May the goddess bless her soul.”
Tansy’s eyes met mine, I could see the curiosity sparkling. “Where did you say you were from?”
Swallowing hard, I realized I’d offered too much. I was just as foolish as Mama said. Her voice echoed inside my head, scolding me for being so stupid.
“These people aren’t your friends. One is a Dark Witch. The other is a traitor. And that one is an imbecile who thinks he can smile his way through the world. You’re supposed to be spying.”
The hate I’d grown up on was like venom in my veins. I fell back on the lie I was supposed to tell them. “Nightfall Convent.”
She gave me a sympathetic smile. “Looks like we both escaped Diana.”
I nodded, knowing I hadn’t escaped Diana. Not by a long shot. My hand floated to the lace choker around my neck, reminding myself of the spell I was bound to.
“Us misfits should stick together,” Tansy said, rising from her chair and sauntering around the table toward me. Her hand grazing Devlinn’s shoulder as she passed by. “We should celebrate our liberation.”
“Here, here!” Devlinn cheered, raising his glass.
She came to stand behind me, her hands finding the slope of my shoulders, her fingertips trailing up my neck to cradle my face.
“We brought pillows. And blankets,” she said.
“Enough to make a cozy little pile on the floor.” Her voice was a coo in my ear.
“Can we please you? I promise we’ll be gentle. ”
Nerves and uncertainty curled in my stomach as my gaze trailed the table. There were three of them. Three very skilled pillow whisperers. I didn’t doubt their skill. But the truth was simple: I didn’t desire them in the deep, needy way I craved Bastien.
“I am grateful to you all, truly I am, but I only want your friendship. Nothing more.”
I stared at the ballroom doors, wishing I could see Bastien. To—what? Ask him questions about the wolf? My sister? Kiss him? I didn’t know. My head was pounding with the evil words I was raised on and this new, quieter, darker part of me that didn’t care if I was a ruin so long as I was his.
In that inner war, I heard whispering in my ear. Murmuring I couldn’t quite understand but that I knew no one else could hear. Little words spoken just for me.
“If you’ll excuse me, I need to use the restroom,” I told Tansy. I didn’t know where I was going, but I knew I would find him if I went looking.
“Nearest one is back through the doors and to the right. Do you want me to come with you?”
“No, thank you.”
As I left the table and began walking to the door, I felt like I was underwater once again. It was as if our connection had reopened, and he was whispering to me inside my head.
“Claire. Claire.”
Beckoning me toward the door. When I lifted my hand to the handle, I heard his ragged breath like he was standing directly behind me. I wanted to see him. Despite everything.
The door cracked open before I could touch the handle, and when I pushed it open an inch, I didn’t find the hallway behind. No. What I found had me gasping and scurrying through the opening as fast as I could.