Chapter Four #2
I set my jaw and made my way over, sliding in across from him. For a moment, neither of us spoke.
“Hey.” His voice was soft, and he gave me a shaky smile. “Thanks for meeting me.”
I nodded, unsure of what to say. Part of me wanted to lash out, demand to know why he’d reached out after weeks of nothing. But I held my tongue, waiting for him to make the first move.
Hugh sighed, rubbing his forehead. “Look, Cal, I know things ended badly between us. And I’m sorry for that. I’ve been doing a lot of thinking, and I realize I made a mistake letting you go.”
I swallowed around the painful lump in my throat.
How many times had I wanted him to fight for our relationship?
To show me the kind of passion and affection that I only read about in books.
But now, sitting across from him, I felt.
..nothing. No spark, no flutter in my chest. Just a dull ache for what we once had.
“Hugh,” I said gently, reaching across the table to touch his hand. “I appreciate you saying that. But I don’t know if going back is the answer.”
He looked at me for a moment, his expression unreadable. Then he took a deep breath and nodded. “You’re right. I guess I just...I miss you, Cal. I miss us. But I know that’s not enough.”
I withdrew my hand, folding it in my lap. “I miss you too, Hugh,” I lied. “But I need more than that. I need someone who’s all in, who wants the same things I do. And I don’t think that’s you.”
“I understand what you’re saying. I do. And I don’t want to go back. I want to move forward. Can you give us that chance?”
“Hugh, I—” I shook my head, eyes filling. “I have a lot on my plate right now. I started my internship today, and I’m still working at the club. Plus, I have my last semester of classes.”
“I’m not trying to derail you. I’ll be whatever you need me to be. Just please don’t give up on us.”
The earnestness in his voice broke something in me. When I looked at him—really looked—I saw the boy I fell in love with. That’s probably what caused the next words to tumble out of my mouth—that, and the two glasses of wine I chugged before leaving the apartment.
“Whatever I need, huh?”
He immediately picked up what I was laying down. His nostrils flared as if he could smell sex in the air. Before I realized what was happening, he was on his feet and standing before me with an outstretched hand. “Come with me.”
“We didn’t even order!”
“Not hungry.”
I took his hand, and he pulled me to my feet before all but dragging me out of the bar. I couldn’t restrain my giggle. “Someone’s in a hurry.”
He led me around the side of the bar to the dimly lit alley, the chill night air sending a shiver down my spine. Or maybe it was the heated look in his eyes. He pressed me up against the rough brick wall, his body flush against mine.
“I’ve missed this,” he murmured, nuzzling into my neck, his stubble grazing my sensitive skin. “Missed you.”
A moan escaped my lips as his hands roamed over my curves. It felt good to be wanted, to be desired. Even if a part of me knew this was a mistake, my body responded, arching into his touch.
He caught my lips in a rough kiss, his tongue delving into my mouth. I tangled my fingers in his hair, pulling him closer, losing myself in the familiar yet thrilling sensation of his hands sliding under my sweater and caressing my bare skin.
He broke the kiss, his breath hot against my ear. “I want you, Cal. Right here, right now.”
I shivered, desire pooling low in my belly. I knew I should put a stop to this. Hooking up with my ex in a dirty alley was a bad idea. But the ache between my thighs overrode common sense. “Take me,” I breathed, nipping at his lower lip. “Show me how much you want me.”
He groaned, his hands tightening on my hips as he ground himself against me. I felt his hardness through his jeans, and my pussy twitched in anticipation. He kissed me again, deep and hungry, as his fingers worked at the button of my pants.
Cold air hit my skin as he tugged my jeans and panties down in one swift motion. I gasped, my head falling back against the bricks. Hugh latched onto my throat, sucking and nipping as his fingers delved between my thighs. “You’re already wet?”
He sounded surprised. There hadn’t been this level of passion between us in ages.. Maybe the breakup had shifted something.
Hugh pumped his fingers in and out of me, and I whimpered. I could feel myself building towards something, but it was far from the intense pleasure that I craved. After five years, he still didn’t know my body—what I needed.
He continued his unskilled movements until I finally muttered a plea for him to fuck me. His fingers alone wouldn’t do it. I needed more.
He didn’t need any further encouragement. Fumbling eagerly, he unzipped his pants and positioned himself at my entrance. Our eyes briefly met before he pushed inside me.
The sounds of flesh slapping together and our shallow breaths echoed in the alleyway. In a desperate attempt for relief, I reached between us and rubbed my clit.
Hugh’s voice broke through the monotony. “That’s it, baby,” he moaned. “Make yourself come all over my cock.”
I obediently followed his command. My body worked itself into a frenzy until I forced myself over the edge.
My muscles tensed and spasmed as Hugh cursed, hips losing their rhythm.
His cock jerked as he pulled out, striping the brick wall at my back instead of my skin as he came.
Considerate. We sagged, chests heaving, as the high faded.
It was quickly replaced by shame and fear as reality crashed back in. We could have been caught; my entire career jeopardized by one reckless act.
I pushed Hugh away. He watched with a mix of concern and wariness as I straightened my clothes and ran a hand through my mussed hair.
“Cal, are you okay?” he asked, reaching out to touch my arm.
“I’m fine,” I said shortly, flinching from his touch. “We shouldn’t have done that. It was stupid and reckless.”
He frowned, looking hurt. “I thought—I mean, it felt like before. Like maybe things could work between us again.”
I shook my head, unable to meet his eyes. “No, Hugh. This doesn’t change anything. Hooking up in alleys isn’t going to fix what went wrong with us.”
“But that was good. Cal, you can’t deny that something’s still there.” He stepped closer.
I held up a hand to stop him. “Physical attraction was never our problem. But that’s all this is—a physical release. It doesn’t mean anything more.”
His jaw clenched, and he looked away, shoving his hands in his pockets. “Fine. If that’s how you want it, I can do casual. No strings attached, just two people fucking.”
I grimaced at the crassness but nodded. It was for the best. I couldn’t afford any distractions or complications right now. “Casual, then. Just no more alleys.”
Some of the tension melted from Hugh’s body, and he smiled. “Agreed. No more alleys. How do you feel about cars?”
I bit back a grin as we turned toward the main street that led back to Marco’s apartment. “Cramped, but better. I’m not opposed to a bed.”
“Boring. We can do better.” He shot me a wink and reached out to run a hand down my back. I froze. His eyes darted from my eyes to my lips and back again.
“I’m gonna go,” I said.
He cleared his throat. “Yeah, sure. I’ll see you when I see you, I guess.”
I offered him a tight smile. “Bye, Hugh.”
I turned toward Marco’s apartment, briefly glancing back at Hugh, rooted to the sidewalk with his hands in his pockets.
And I couldn’t shake the feeling that I had made a big mistake.